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Vanilla 1.1.10 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.
Everything Else: Fail of your Boo-Yah (and vica-versa)
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CommentAuthorLuke Burrage
- CommentTimeOct 12th 2009
In the lingo of the interwebs, some things are full of win yet lead to epic fail, and some fails lead to nothing but win. Categorization is tricky.
To get to the point quickly: why does it take 48 hours of obvious flirtation, walks along the beach, trips out alone to see awesome places, singing songs on the guitar, going out for dinner, and so much more... why does it always take inapropriately long for a girl to mention she has a boyfriend?
This is not the first time, and I guess it won't be the last. -
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CommentAuthorKate Monster
- CommentTimeOct 12th 2009 edited
In answer to you question, it is because the boyfriend isn't there and the girl wants attention. It is disgusting, but some women would rather take advantage of someone to flatter their vanity/get free meals and gifts than live with dignity. Also, some men take acts of friendship to mean flirtation (not saying this happened in your case, but I have seen it happen). -
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I'm also pretty sure that some are testing the waters to see if they jump ships or not, maybe she kinda halfheartedly wants to end a relationship but got cold feet in the end.
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Did she mention it casually, or did she specifically say something like "so you know... I have a boyfriend?"
It makes all the difference in the world. -
She was probably sizing you up as to whether you were cooler then her boyfriend and then she could be all drama filled and conflicted over it :-p
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That sucks dude. I've been in that situation before. You did what you should have done as a single guy liking who you thought was single girl. You tried your best but in the end it all came crashing down. Learn something from what happened, get ready to have another go at it, and try not to hold what happened with this girl against the next one.
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Answer my question (to yourself, not the forum).
If she said it casually in the course of something else ("blah blah blah my boyfriend blah blah blah"), then she's a cool person (or an extremely savvy, manipulative one: there's little to differentiate the two from outward appearances alone, so don't bother trying and assume the former). She was hanging out with you, another cool person. If you enjoy flirting with her, just keep doing it. You're basically friends.
If she said it with a disclaimer ("Just so you know... I have a boyfriend"), there are two main possibilities.
1. Her boyfriend is in some way inadequate, and she likes you. She didn't admit it early on, because she was afraid it would turn you away, but then she started feeling guilty. If this is her first boyfriend, double the chances of this. She's conflicted, but definitely likes you more than she likes him.
2. She's expressing her lack of interest after realizing suddenly that you were pursuing her as more than a friend. She likes her boyfriend more than she likes you, and is trying to nip this in the bud.
Act as you see fit. ^_~ -
You know, I think sometimes girls don't say it right away because they are scared of scaring a guy away.
They want to hang out with you, but they worry if they said "I have a boyfriend" right off the bat, it would be like a rebuff.
I agree totally with what Rym said. -
They should just say that they like hanging out with you as a friend, but are in a relationship. If the guy only wanted to be your friend because he wanted to date you...Then you really shouldn't be friends with him anyways. But if the guy still wants to be your friend, then everything works out good, and you save him the emotional trouble.
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CommentAuthorGeorge Patches
- CommentTimeOct 12th 2009
For something light hearted, I came home today to my top gear season 10 box set. Upon watching it I discovered that they had decided to cut the news segment from the show, which was one of my favorite parts. -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeOct 12th 2009
I had a dream that was amazingly revelatory, solidifying in me my drive to be a doctor, specifically a Radiologist--I may very well end up in Australia, Japan, or Spain for significant periods of time, which is excellent, as I've always been intensely interested in the first and second, and the third is my ancestral homeland. However, the dream was so vivid and real (I dreamt I was in class, in a building I was supposed to be in at that very moment), that I kept napping an extra 10 minutes and wound up late to my Japanese Culture class. -
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Posted By: Rym2. She's expressing her lack of interest after realizing suddenly that you were pursuing her as more than a friend. She likes her boyfriend more than she likes you, and is trying to nip this in the bud.
I am guilty of this. My first week of college I made friends (or so I thought) with this guy because we played the same instrument in band and he was one of the first people to talk to me. I didn't know anybody and it takes me awhile to make friends, so I talked to him a lot and hung out with him some. Apparently me watching tv with him in his dorm room (never alone, always with other people, I might add) meant that it was a date or something. So when he tried to "snuggle" with me one day, I practically yelled out that I had a boyfriend and scooted away. Let's just say that it was very awkward, and he never talked to me again (and gave me the evil eye every time he saw me in band.)
-Edit: I would like to add that I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend earlier because it never came up, and it never occurred to me to mention it. Since I didn't like him more than a friend, and didn't even consider him a "good" friend, I didn't think it was appropriate to randomly tell him about my love life. Does that make any sense?Posted By: gomidogYou know, I think sometimes girls don't say it right away because they are scared of scaring a guy away.
This is so true. Back in the early days of college, I felt like every time a guy showed interest in me, and I turned him down for whatever reason, he would mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth. I think I have somewhat of a stand off-ish attitude now and nobody messes with me anymore. >_>
They want to hang out with you, but they worry if they said "I have a boyfriend" right off the bat, it would be like a rebuff. -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeOct 13th 2009
Posted By: Lyddihe would mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth.
I am guilty of this. I've only done it once, but it still bothers me that I did it in the first place. -
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CommentAuthorLuke Burrage
- CommentTimeOct 13th 2009
Wow, you all took this way more seriously than I thought! I was on holiday, and I'm single, and getting along with being single (over two months now) so the chances are I'm going to be looking for and finding some short term romance. I'm completely fine with the situation as it turned out, as we still hung out the same as before, and the time we did spend together was just as fun as if nothing had happened. I wasn't flirting and hanging out because I wanted something to happen, because if I had known she had a boyfriend right from the start I'd have acted the same way (though maybe not putting my arm around her).Posted By: Kate MonsterIn answer to you question, it is because the boyfriend isn't there and the girl wants attention. It is disgusting, but some women would rather take advantage of someone to flatter their vanity/get free meals and gifts than live with dignity.
I also wanted attention and my vanity flattered. Dignity be damned. -
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I got into google wave just in time to watch my computer grind to a halt on 300+ blip waves.
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CommentAuthorGeorge Patches
- CommentTimeOct 14th 2009
Tomorrow is payday! It is also incidentally pay the credit card day. -
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CommentAuthorTechparadox
- CommentTimeOct 14th 2009
Posted By: gedavidsTomorrow is payday! It is also incidentally pay the credit card day.
Man, do I ever know that feeling. Money come in, money go out. I need to find myself a roommate to help cut the expenses. -
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Solution to the problem: ask the girl. Attention and flattery are great, and can still commence with no expectations or hurt feelings if it's all out in the open up front! If you know what line not to cross, things are less likely to get awkward (unless you cross the line anyway.)
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CommentAuthorGeorge Patches
- CommentTimeOct 15th 2009
Posted By: TechparadoxMan, do I ever know that feeling. Money come in, money go out. I need to find myself a roommate to help cut the expenses.
I love living alone, I just wish I didn't have to live in the high end shopping district. -
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CommentAuthorTechparadox
- CommentTimeOct 15th 2009
Posted By: gedavidsI love living alone, I just wish I didn't have to live in the high end shopping district.
Don't get me wrong - I dig living alone. It's nice not having to worry about anyone bitching because the dishes have sat in the sink for the better part of the week or the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in a month. *grin* It just sucks hardcore to think that I could cut my living expenses in half by giving up a little bit of that freedom.
I've got a Boo-yah/fail that's not rental-related. I had two moles removed a couple weeks ago because they were irregular and I was concerned about them. Both of them were about the size of the fingernail on my index finger. Initial tests on them came back that the margins of the excisions were free of cancerous or pre-cancerous cells but there was some irregular mitotic activity in one of the lesions so they sent it off for further testing. Doc said it was probably nothing to worry about but if it came back as problematic then they'd have to do a further excision. I was happy that things were looking good; I mean, the margins were clean so chances of it having spread were slim, right? My stitches has come out and I could go back to my regular life, right?
I got the call today that they need to do a further excision. -
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Posted By: TechparadoxDon't get me wrong - I dig living alone. It's nice not having to worry about anyone bitching because the dishes have sat in the sink for the better part of the week or the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in a month. *grin* It just sucks hardcore to think that I could cut my living expenses in half by giving up a little bit of that freedom.
All right, all right. Knock it off. You choose your battles, okay? I've chilled out substantially in regards to messy roommate ways.
Also, you could find a laid-back single roomie. Problem solved, unless they were like Churba's horrid and abominable flatmate.Posted By: Techparadox
Aww, man, that sucks. Skin Cancer is rough. Mrs. Macross had it. I hope you don't have to do chemo or anything.
I got the call today that they need to do a further excision. -
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CommentAuthorTechparadox
- CommentTimeOct 15th 2009 edited
Don't get me wrong - I'm not a total slob. I just hate having to run a sink full of water to wash one pot or pan, one plate, one set of silverware, and one glass. No dishwasher in my place either. I just rinse 'em off, run any chunks through the garbage disposal, and wait until I have enough dishes to make it worthwhile to do a whole dish drainer full. As for the carpet, it's dark colored and I don't go around dropping food on it so I'd be vacuuming up dust bunnies (at best) if I ran it every week. My problem with roommates is I'd pretty much have to find one that's laid back enough to let the same things slide as I do but understanding enough to humor my quirks (books on the shelf have to be organized, DVDs/CDs/games have to go back in their proper cases, etc.)
As for the skin cancer, I'm trying to stay optimistic. The further excision is just to make sure the area around the original spot isn't harboring anything funny. I'm keeping hope up that the second time around comes back clean. It sucks because I just got the damn stitches out and now they're going to have to go and cut a bigger chunk out of my back where I could barely reach it to change the bandages the first time. -
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CommentAuthorGeorge Patches
- CommentTimeOct 15th 2009
Posted By: TechparadoxAs for the skin cancer, I'm trying to stay optimistic. The further excision is just to make sure the area around the original spot isn't harboring anything funny. I'm keeping hope up that the second time around comes back clean. It sucks because I just got the damn stitches out and now they're going to have to go and cut a bigger chunk out of my back where I could barely reach it to change the bandages the first time.
Don't worry about. Seriously, this sort of thing is pretty routine. Doctors don't mess around with cancer and if even the slightest thing is amiss they're gonna do more testing to be extra sure. -
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CommentAuthorLuke Burrage
- CommentTimeOct 18th 2009
Booh yah: I got home and a new set of three hats had been delivered while I was away! These should last me a few years of performing. Fail: They cost 250 dollars each, plus postage from New York, plus import tax. I should have got someone in NY to pick them up for me and had them sent over as a "gift". -
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Posted By: Luke BurrageI should have got someone in NY to pick them up for me and had them sent over as a "gift".
I pull that trick all the damn time, but you also have to leave the value of the item off. Let's face it, why not? I don't get any direct benifits from paying tax here, and that single word is the difference between having to pay 20 Pounds VAT for two shirts and a towel from the states, which put together don't cost that much, compared to getting an iPhone, Badass longcoat, Vegemite, and a bunch of other stuff through for free. -
Posted By: Axel
It was originally Yupa's Fail, but it turned into my win. Additionally, I seem to be on a roll in terms of creative output.Posted By: Yupa
That was brilliant.Posted By: Sonic
-stifling laughter- pttthph!!!! ROFLMAO!!! I'm sorry but that just made my fucking day! Thanks Sonic!!Posted By: Yupa (edited slightly for manga accuracy)*rose petals flutter around Emily* Emily-Sempai...*turns head to the side, face half shadowed* I don't know what to say. *single tear* I..I'll do it. I feel kinda stupid that such motivation could just change my mind just like that...but that's what I needed. *Raises head, two solid streams of tears flowing down. fist clenched infront of chest* I'll do it, regardless of what happens. If I lose and something bad happens because of it, at least I lived my dreams and finally made something or some things that I was proud of. If I get big, hooray for me.
*dramatic turn to face apethetic FRC forumites* To everyone else, *Dramatic bow* I'm sorry I wasted your time with all my moping! *runs off into the distance* -
- CommentAuthortheknoxinator
- CommentTimeOct 26th 2009
As I posted last night in the fail thread, having to go to work to get my stupid notebook was a major fail. The reason it's even more of a fail was that I was super satisfied with finishing Uncharted 2 just an hour before I realized I didn't have it. On the plus side, swinging back into the boo-yah is that they have full internet access here during training. Didn't expect that, and it's awesome. -
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CommentAuthorLuke Burrage
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009
Today the sea was quite rough in the eastern Mediterranean. The ship was pitching about all over the place, and I didn't have much of an appetite. The show was canceled (I wasn't performing) and I generally hung out in my cabin.
However, I managed to write about 2,000 words for my NaNoWriMo novel AND watch two episodes of Dexter. Man, that show is so good. I wish I'd brought all four DVDs of season one with me on this trip, not just the first two. I guess it means the experience will be spread out over more time... -
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CommentAuthorDiagoras of Thebes
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009
The family friend I had trusted to come out to was the one who told my brother. Fortunately, my brother's a coward and won't tell, but I just hate being stabbed in the back. -
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That sucks. Wow. I don't understand how people in this world can be so needlessly cruel.
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Posted By: Diagoras of ThebesThe family friend I had trusted to come out to was the one who told my brother. Fortunately, my brother's a coward and won't tell, but I just hate being stabbed in the back.
I think you have every right to just punch that person in the face because he went back and stabbed you in the back, so in a way his stabbing will be rebuffed with a punch in the face. -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009
I would say "beat him senseless" would be the more rational option. Toying with one's well-being deserves so much more retaliation than a punch to the face. -
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Posted By: WindUpBirdI would say "beat him senseless" would be the more rational option. Toying with one's well-being deserves so much more retaliation than a punch to the face.
Unfortunately, he's already rejected violence as a viable course of action. I think the only thing left is "pack up your shit and move to a civilized city". -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009
Posted By: FunfetusUnfortunately, he's already rejected violence as a viable course of action.
Well, that's good. At the risk of being cliche, violence is never the answer.Posted By: FunfetusI think the only thing left is "pack up your shit and move to a civilized city".
Truer words. -
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CommentAuthorDiagoras of Thebes
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009 edited
Posted By: YupaI think you have every right to just punch that person in the face because he went back and stabbed you in the back, so in a way his stabbing will be rebuffed with a punch in the face.
Posted By: WindUpBirdI would say "beat him senseless" would be the more rational option. Toying with one's well-being deserves so much more retaliation than a punch to the face.
Actually, it's a she.Posted By: FunfetusUnfortunately, he's already rejected violence as a viable course of action. I think the only thing left is "pack up your shit and move to a civilized city".
The trouble is that I can't get a job. Even if I had one, I would have to save my money until I could afford to leave my parent's house. That's not enough. After that I would have to graduate and leave the state. I know there are liberal pockets in Texas, but I think it would be for the best if I left this logic-forsaken hellhole. And by the way, I would rather die than hurt someone. -
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Well sometimes (in very rare cases though) violence is the answer as words cannot solve every dilemma. You may just have to overcome that because there is a time and place for revenge and it's best served cold...with no fries on the side.Posted By: FunfetusUnfortunately, he's already rejected violence as a viable course of action. I think the only thing left is "pack up your shit and move to a civilized city".
The trouble is that I can't get a job. Even if I had one, I would have to save my money until I could afford to leave my parent's house. That's not enough. After that I would have to graduate and leave the state. I know there are liberal pockets in Texas, but I think it would be for the best if I left this logic-forsaken hellhole. And by the way, I would rather die than hurt someone. -
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CommentAuthorThe Günter
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009 edited
Posted By: YupaWell sometimes (in very rare cases though) violence is the answer as words cannot solve every dilemma. You may just have to overcome that because there is a time and place for revenge and it's best served cold...with no fries on the side.
I'm of the mind that violent revenge is an entirely useless edeavor that usually only makes the situation shittier for everyone involved. Physical violence in response to any situation where your person is not threatened will at best give you peace of mind that you could have gained through non-violent means. At worst it will leave you with injuries, jail time, worse enemies and a guilty conciense. -
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Posted By: Yupa
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Okay now that is unfair right there. Sure I may have assumed that the friend was a man, but Diagoras never said it was a female at first and it was only later that he said so.
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CommentAuthorKate Monster
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009
Posted By: YupaOkay now that is unfair right there. Sure I may have assumed that the friend was a man, but Diagoras never said it was a female at first and it was only later that he said so.
Don't decide to be violent (or not) based solely on a person's gender. If you would slap a man for doing X behavior, then you should slap a woman for that same behavior. Either way, slapping people isn't the best of choices. -
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I'm dangerously close to the threshold in which I won't have any more Pokemon to catch in Platinum. I'm getting to the point in which all I have left to catch are Pokemon that cannot be caught in Platinum (like the Johto starters and some legendaries).
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Posted By: Kate Monster
But still, it's my belief something must be done to get back at that horrible person who went out of her way to make Diagoras' life miserable. What would you suggest is the best course of action, as something like this (especially considering the magnitude of the situation) cannot go unignored?Posted By: YupaOkay now that is unfair right there. Sure I may have assumed that the friend was a man, but Diagoras never said it was a female at first and it was only later that he said so.
Don't decide to be violent (or not) based solely on a person's gender. If you would slap a man for doing X behavior, then you should slap a woman for that same behavior. Either way, slapping people isn't the best of choices. -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeNov 1st 2009 edited
Posted By: YupaBut still, it's my belief something must be done to get back at that horrible person who went out of her way to make Diagoras' life miserable.
There's a big difference between telling someone a secret that they shouldn't know and actually going out of way to ruin a life, even if said secret has a large impact once someone else knows it.Posted By: YupaWhat would you suggest is the best course of action, as something like this (especially considering the magnitude of the situation) cannot go unignored?
In the absence of violent/non-violent but extremely vengeful conduct, discussion seems to be the only source of redress.
Of course, if I was in Diagoras's shoes, I'd be putting the boots to people. -
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CommentAuthorlackofcheese
- CommentTimeNov 2nd 2009 edited
Posted By: Kate Monster
I read Yupa's post and was about to redress him for sexism, but you've already done the job.Posted By: YupaOkay now that is unfair right there. Sure I may have assumed that the friend was a man, but Diagoras never said it was a female at first and it was only later that he said so.
Don't decide to be violent (or not) based solely on a person's gender. If you would slap a man for doing X behavior, then you should slap a woman for that same behavior. Either way, slapping people isn't the best of choices.Posted By: WindUpBird
Indeed.Posted By: YupaWhat would you suggest is the best course of action, as something like this (especially considering the magnitude of the situation) cannot go unignored?
In the absence of violent/non-violent but extremely vengeful conduct, discussion seems to be the only source of redress. -
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CommentAuthorDiagoras of Thebes
- CommentTimeNov 2nd 2009 edited
Posted By: WindUpBirdIn the absence of violent/non-violent but extremely vengeful conduct, discussion seems to be the only source of redress.
I waited a while to calm down so I could deal with her rationally, but she won't talk to me. There's no point in getting any redress, because it won't help me. It hurts, and it is a gaping wound, but I'd rather let myself heal than ripping out the stitches by getting any sort of revenge. -
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CommentAuthorlackofcheese
- CommentTimeNov 2nd 2009 edited
In my understanding of the word, redress is far from equivalent to revenge. Forms of redress include telling her you don't want anything to do with her, and talking it out to find out why she did it and possibly having her make amends.
EDIT:Posted By: Luke BurrageHowever, I managed to write about 2,000 words for my NaNoWriMo novel AND watch two episodes of Dexter. Man, that show is so good. I wish I'd brought all four DVDs of season one with me on this trip, not just the first two. I guess it means the experience will be spread out over more time...
Yeah, I'm getting the latest series via EZTV. It is continuing to be a great show. In fact, I'd say it's better than ever. -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeNov 2nd 2009
I have A or A+ marks in all of my classes right now, except for Calc and Chem. Calc is probably a B+, Chem a B-. I'm really disappointed, as I studied so hard for my midterms in chem and calc and got completely screwed on them (a 75% on each, each one worth 20% of my grade). I'm hoping the chem grade (more important) isn't shaken too much, and I'm going to study extra hard to get As on the next set of midterms and the finals for those classes. -
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CommentAuthorDiagoras of Thebes
- CommentTimeNov 2nd 2009
Posted By: WindUpBirdI'm really disappointed, as I studied so hard for my midterms in chem and calc and got completely screwed on them (a 75% on each, each one worth 20% of my grade). I'm hoping the chem grade (more important) isn't shaken too much, and I'm going to study extra hard to get As on the next set of midterms and the finals for those classes.
Not that I'm an expert, but how do you study? Maybe you need to try a different tack. -
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CommentAuthorWindUpBird
- CommentTimeNov 2nd 2009
Posted By: Diagoras of ThebesNot that I'm an expert, but how do you study? Maybe you need to try a different tack.
Hardcore notes/homework review. It generally works well, it just didn't work well enough in this instance. -
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Posted By: Kate Monster
I would normally agree with you on this, but there are good reasons to use different methods in either situation. Women are (in my experience) much more likely to go to law enforcement when assaulted (or when they are around someone that is being assaulted), while men are more likely to take a beating and either squash the beef or plot revenge (but it really depends on whether they are alone or with friends/girlfriends etc., you have to judge the situation correctly, alone they are the most predictable). This isn't an iron rule (really depends on circumstances and the background of who you are assaulting and everyone they are with), but it works generally, and if you know a person well enough to have a reason to hit them, you can probably judge how they will react to violence.Posted By: YupaOkay now that is unfair right there. Sure I may have assumed that the friend was a man, but Diagoras never said it was a female at first and it was only later that he said so.
Don't decide to be violent (or not) based solely on a person's gender. If you would slap a man for doing X behavior, then you should slap a woman for that same behavior. Either way, slapping people isn't the best of choices.