Fear from the next Samual Jackson movie of snakes?

Kamiccolo

Okay, here's a senario for you guys. You get on a comircial airline that is flying from Los Angeles to Tokyo. However, when your halfway there and have nothing but miles of ocean around you, you find out that there's an assassin who's trying to kill one of the passangers. However, the assassin is not actually there, he just releases about 500 of the most poisonous snakes just to kill one man. All you have is a handgun and a tazer because you're 1337 like Samual Jackson. What do you do?

There's actually a movie being made out of this and, of coarse, Samual Jackson's in it. I'll be coming out August 2006. I know I want to see it. But really, who thought of "Snakes on a Plane"? That's actually the title too, Snakes on a Plane. All I know is if I were in that situation, I would get the stewardis to like pore all the water and soft drinks she had in the whole plane in every single cabin area except where everyone's moved to and then just spam tazer the liquid every time a snake touches it. What would you guys do? (Don't copy me either)

thaneofcawdor

What would I do? There's not a god-damned thing you can do about it!

TheWhaleShark

Motherfuckin' posts on a motherfuckin' forum. And there ain't a goddamn thing you can do about it.

As for snakes, I find they are best handled by stepping on them. Hard. And repeatedly.

I also want to know just how in the hell you get a whole movie out of "some dude tries to kill some dude on a plane with snakes." That's like one scene in an action movie; how do you make an entire goddamn movie with that?

thaneofcawdor

Remember Speed? Bus can't go below 50. That's it. And it made hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office.

And no, movie popularity doesn't make sense, and there ain't a goddamn thing you can do about it.

Katsu

Set Climate Control to go down to lowest possible temperature, issuing blankets and ransacking carry-on luggage for extra clothing. If the temperature gets low enough, the snakes should become sluggish and easier to kill with a large, blunt instrument.
If the plane has enough fuel for this to work, try depressurizing the cabin by opening one of the emergency doors. This assumes, of course, that you can slow down the plane enough that it would be physically possible for the door to be closed while in flight (which, given the general speeds that commercial airliners that make intercontinental flights achieve, is highly improbable).

frostbitten_panda

I would rid the place of breathable air and have people breathe through the oxygen masks while the snakes suffocate and die. For the super snakes that can't die because of hollywood.... fuck em. Let a few passangers die. It's just a movie.

Rym

I'd make a shitty movie about it, hire Samual L. Jackson, give it an asinine title, and secretly market it via the internet.

baltmatrix

I would fly as high as we can and drop the f'ing cabin pressure. That would cause the damn things to die and everyone would be safe thanks to the little yellow masks.

Apreche

Not sure if this is true or not. But from what I hear the little yellow masks are just as much for keeping people breathing as they are for keeping people calm. You know what happens when people breate in some oxygens. Oh yeah.

glimpster

I thought Samuel Jackson was going to be in the halo movie? Oh yeah, he realized that halo the movie was going to suck, so he chose snakes on a plane. Nice choice. Just because Peter Jackson's the producer, doesn't mean we're going to have him directing it. However, I have no doubt that if Jackson had control of the entire project, it would be an awesome movie.

Katsu

First things first: I am not a herpetologist, nor do I play one on TV or in any games, nor is herpetology one of my fields of interest.
As I pointed out above, depressurizing the cabin (and getting rid of the oxygen is the same thing, by the way) will result in a massive outward flow of air, possibly taking some snakes with it. But it's not the lowered air pressure; it's the cold. Since snakes are cold-blooded, their level of activity should be greatly affected.
Of course, that's assuming that the pilot can maintain control of the plane while it's:
1. Releasing large amounts of air at high speeds in a direction perpindicular to the plane's direction of flight.
2. Changed aerodynamics of the plane.

And the on-board air tank for the oxygen masks only lasts for 10 minutes, given a full load of passengers. The pilot would have to dive down to altitudes where the air outside would be breathable. Besides, I would think that snakes have a much lower requirement for oxygen than humans. Their brains are smaller, and their bodies don't expend as much energy (when not digesting) as the relatively huge frames that humans must maintain. My guess would be that they would be able to survive longer than the human passengers if it's a question of how long it takes for either one to suffocate.

Kamiccolo

I probably should have put this in earlier:

http://www.tagworld.com/snakesonaplane

Who plans on seeing this movie? I sure do! I'm sure it'll be awesome just like Speed. I wonder how many sequals they plan to make...

TheWhaleShark

OK, so the trailer reveals, in fact, that this movie is indeed about snakes. On a plane. With Samuel L. Jackson.

I still can't figure out how this can be a full-length movie.

Personally, I'm going to continue to believe that this whole thing is one very large hoax perpetrated by the Internet.

Kamiccolo

Why do you think it's a hoax? It's not really possible to "eddit" Samual Jackon into a fan film movie preview unless you have contacts to like the top special effect artists there are around. Besides, the CGI on the snakes isn't done all too well, so how could they have the ability to "eddit" Samual Jackon into it?

I'm really sure it's not a hoax.

Apreche

I don't think it's a hoax I think it's brilliant marketing. Hollywood can't make good movies with original stories anymore. So rather than spend lots of time, effort and money to try to make good movies that might flop they are going to just do a better job of selling the crappy movies.

I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not. Really I don't know if Hollywood is smart enough to think of this marketing plan on their own. But due to the hilarity and Internet cliche-ability this movie carries with it they are going to make a killing on what is going to perhaps be one of the stupidest movies ever. At most it can hope to be just as bad as every other stupid hollywood movie.

I don't plan on giving my money to this money at all. It will just encourage them to make more stupid movies. I do plan on watching at least part of this movie for free in some way to gain humor from some inside jokes. Or maybe just download it in order to do a podcast on it.

trogdor9

Samuel L. Jackson != Chuck Norris, hence, I flip out. Oh yeah, it's not a hoax. So anyone else going to see this movie, if only to see if it will stink as much as we expect?

Kamiccolo

This movie is not going to suck. It's going to be awesome!

Cremlian

I was just coming to this thread to say exactly what Scott said.

This is probably one of the best grassroots advertisting campagions I've ever seen.

Pete, it's a movie about a guy stuck on a plane with people out to kill him, I submitt that there are many ways this movie can be made, Everything from Air Force one to the recent Red Eye have similiar themes. Just in this case they have snakes...

Apreche

Yup, just like curling.

Rym

Or Poker.

Cremlian

I hear your mom is all hype as well.

...sorry.. I had too.

Ametto

For shame, Scott. For shame.