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Question for positive people

m16 elitestm16 elitest
edited November 2008 in Everything Else
How do you stay positive? I'm always negative and need some advice. I'm seeing a doctor about it, but I was thinking you guys might be able to help.
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Comments

  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited November 2008
    A better question is: how do positive people stop themselves being negative? I've suffered depression for a while and I'm finally working my way out of it but getting advice from a doctor is the right first step.
    Cardiovascular exercise and things that get your blood pumping cause endorphins to be released, making you happier (apparently, I'm no biologist).
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • George PatchesGeorge Patches
    How do you stay positive? I'm always negative and need some advice. I'm seeing a doctor about it, but I was thinking you guys might be able to help.
    By constantly telling myself, "it could be worse...at least I'm not dead yet." I'm not the most optimistic person, in fact most would call me pessimistic. I think of myself as a realist, I accept the inequalities of the world in front of me and don't dwell on them.
  • Nine BoomerNine Boomer
    Remember, the only reason you are unhappy is because you choose to be unhappy. If you are letting your life control your emotions, you are giving yourself up to something uncontrollable. You have to take responsibility of how you feel yourself, because otherwise you are slacking and letting the external world get a grip on you. You can control yourself more than anything in the world, so don't lose that because of external factors you can manipulate, but cannot command.

    That's the way I view the world. If it helps you just a little bit, then that'll be my good deed to the world.
  • One SinOne Sin
    I stay positive by not caring.

    That's not particularly easy to do, so I'll offer an alternative. Be careful what you emotionally invest yourself in. Never surrender completely to any emotional impulse. Mind you, you have to be at least somewhat invested in order to enjoy anything, but always keep in mind that something can go wrong. Don't think something will go wrong and despair over that. Instead, just keep the possibility in mind so that if something bad happens, it doesn't come as a devastating shock.
  • FunfetusFunfetus
    In the last few years, I've been consciously making decisions about things I'm going to try to be more positive, and ways that I'm going to try to be more positive. This is largely because of the way I've seen negativity in some of my former friends turn into this terrible, corrosive force that becomes a reason, and excuse for them to do nothing positive with their lives. I saw myself going down that same path, and I knew I had to change. When I was younger, I was really negative, and really angry, and in some ways, it felt really good. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I want to actually be happy now. I don't want to hate everything. I want to enjoy all of the things I can enjoy, change the things I can change, and leave the rest alone as much as possible.

    Anyway, as for how to do that, I think it's probably different for everyone. I think for myself, it was a matter of trying to understand why I was feeling negative, and how things would be better if I just stopped. That seemed to be enough.
  • fooflyfoofly
    There are MANY people on this planet that don't have what you have. And I stay happy by thinking that I have a loving family and good friends that I would do anything for and in tern would do anything for me. This makes me humble. And being humble is the path to being happy in my opinion.
  • Li_AkahiLi_Akahi
    Ignorance is bliss.
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    Lower your expectations to rock-bottom. That way, you'll never be disappointed.
  • csrjjsmpcsrjjsmp
    We lead better lives, so we have more to be happy about.
  • CremlianCremlian
    Lower your expectations to rock-bottom. That way, you'll never be disappointed.
    This is key, for almost everything in life.
  • gomidoggomidog
    edited November 2008
    Lower your expectations to rock-bottom. That way, you'll never be disappointed.
    Peter...sheesh.
    Remember, the only reason you are unhappy is because you choose to be unhappy. If you are letting your life control your emotions, you are giving yourself up to something uncontrollable. You have to take responsibility of how you feel yourself, because otherwise you are slacking and letting the external world get a grip on you. You can control yourself more than anything in the world, so don't lose that because of external factors you can manipulate, but cannot command.
    At the same time, however, viewing depression or anxiety as purely a "thought choice" that people can just talk themselves out of is misleading. From all the experience I have had, depression can be a combination of physical or environmental factors and the way one chooses to address these problems. It's impossible to separate one's psyche from one's environment. Think of it like pushing your body too hard and catching a cold: The mind is not immune to rough treatment. A positive attitude can deliver one from depression much more easily than a resigned attitude, but if stress activates those brain chemicals in the wrong way, man, even Little Mary Sunshine can get pretty down. I think the best thing is to concentrate on the small victories. I consider myself a very positive person, and I think that rather than focusing on the idea of "people are generally bad" or "generally good" I look at stuff as just neutral and try to tip things in the "good" balance as much as I can. Don't be overly critical or a perfectionist and make sure you take time to relax. Relaxation is one of the keys to a happy life. Just think "can I change this?" and if you can't, just relax and try to make the best of it. Let it be.

    Also, I agree with Omnutia. Excercise makes me feel sooo good.
    Post edited by gomidog on
  • WalkerWalker
    edited November 2008
    Lower your expectations to rock-bottom. That way, you'll never be disappointed.
    If I did this I would live my entire life in a state of cynicism and depression. I don't think this is going to help anyone who has a generally negative outlook; you see, hope is a rather powerful and important emotion.
    Post edited by Walker on
  • NuriNuri
    Sex, pain, being around awesome people, and making awesome things (not babies though). Your mileage may vary, esp regarding the pain part.

    The first two could also be summarized by saying, "I agree with Omnutia," but I figured I'd be a little more specific.
  • gomidoggomidog
    Sex, pain
    Oh, Nuri...Maso to the max.
  • Li_AkahiLi_Akahi
    and making awesome things (not babies though)
    Babies can be awesome!
  • Luke BurrageLuke Burrage
    edited November 2008
    Learn a new skill. When you achieve things you feel better about yourself.


    EDIT: Also, stay away from the Fail Of Your Day thread.
    Post edited by Luke Burrage on
  • jccjcc
    Make excuses to watch Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. :)
  • ThaedThaed
    A happiness thread, hooray! You can listen to FNPL to get my laboriously unending viewpoint on this. Otherwise, I would like to recommend two books:
    The Happiness Myth by Jennifer Michael Hecht and Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. Don't give up.
    My favorite happiness tips:
    --Get engrossed in stuff as much as possible. This is a form of happiness.
    --Being organized helps get rid of negative thoughts and David Allen is the man in his book Getting Things Done.
    --Keep music around you all the time.

    P.S. Nuri continues to be awesome.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    Drink heavily.
  • konistehradkonistehrad
    Take up a hobby creating something (software, models, food, etc.), and focus on making it the best you possibly can. Few things are more rewarding.

    Conversely: exercise. Not with the express intent of getting OMGHEUG or built up, just enough to get toned or fast. I run.
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited November 2008
    Drink heavily.
    My doctor told me alcohol can act as a depressant.

    @Nuri:...
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • djfooboodjfooboo
    Get a kitty.

    Problem solved.
  • MankoonMankoon
    When the world gets me down I used to play Ecco the Dolphin on the Wii. Playing that game makes everything seem a little better. Then my Wii broke down. Damn you, world.
  • VigaViga
    Remember the things you love and the people who love you. I know it sounds very after school special but it's helping me right now. Maybe it will for you.

    @ Nuri: *respeck knucks*
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    Drink heavily.
    My doctor told me alcohol can act as a depressant.
    Of course it does. I find that it quite readily depresses one's feelings of sadness into the background where one can simply ignore them.

    Smoking is an effective cure for sadness as well. Have you ever wondered why people didn't complain so much about depression until the 90s? It's because, before then, everyone smoked.
  • WalkerWalker
    Oh Joe, you're such a lovable snarky bastard.
  • kiwi_birdkiwi_bird
    One thing which has made my life margins better is creating music. Not only is it a lot of fun, but when playing an instrument you can kind of tune out all the rubbish you have to deal with everyday. You also get a constant feed of small victories, as you slowly progress and your music starts sounding better. The cherry on top is, that it's very easy to socialize if you're a musician of any sort.
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    Same applies for most creative pursuits.
  • SkyshiroSkyshiro
    edited November 2008
    Ignorance is bliss.
    Big Brother is watching.

    I smile a lot and I guess that's what keeps me happy all the time.
    Post edited by Skyshiro on
  • NuriNuri
    edited November 2008
    Emily: that depends on your definition of "max." ^_~

    Li: Yes, yes they can. Just not while I'm making 36k a year and planning to go to law school.
    Get a kitty.

    Problem solved.
    Actually, if you have the money and time to maintain a pet, they can be very rewarding. This is a pretty good idea if you're able.
    Post edited by Nuri on
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