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IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDSYou know what disproves this? The fact that it is perfectly acceptable to have sexual attraction to friends. I think it is merely a differing in definition of what constitutes a friendship. If someone is pretty and you get along with them, of course there is a bit of that feeling there. I have had guy friends who I was rather attracted to, but was perfectly comfortable being around in a non-romantic way. I think it also comes from the fact that people have this artificial divide between friendship and romantic love. Rym was my friend, then he became my romantic partner. There was a lot of grey shade in between, a lot of flirting and pseudo-dating. This whole thing would be solved if people would just be comfortable and honest with their feelings. The problem is, so many guys FREAK OUT and get jealous and shit, and that is what destroys the friendship. Rym has a lot of cute girls as friends, but even though he finds them cute, he has enough self control to maintain a fun friendship and not get pissy and mean when they have other romantic attachments. That is not to say that in a vacuum, he would not be happy to date them, but merely that he is also happy to hang out and be cool.
Many women want to argue this point and say things like " I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:
1. The guy is gay
2. The guy does not find you attractive
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder
Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:
1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
...this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.
I think this holds true, except that guys and girls can be friends, because sexual attraction doesn't exclude a friendship. I.E. I've become friends with a lot of girls that I was attracted to.Didn't you just disprove everything above? You can indeed be "just friends" with a cute girl. Also? If a girl tells her friend that she doesn't want to ruin their friendship with physical entanglements, it just means that he is not physically attractive to her, but is somewhat mentally attractive. Think of it the way you would treat a gay friend who confessed to you. They are your friend, right? You like talking to them right? But they are not your type physically. I have had that happen with a number of guys.