WTF is wrong with some of you guys? Rape is bad! It doesn't matter if you pull out statistics saying its a misconception of this or that, 1 in X do it, blah blah etc etc. Its bad and should never happen!
But it DOES happen, and I will do what I can to prevent it! I don't care if guys like muppet are butthurt that females are worried about members of his sex hurting them. I value my life and will not risk it by saying "Oh the statistics are so low, I won't be bothered ever! I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of the nice guys who don't rape!" And by the way we aren't just afraid of being raped, its the fact that (ON AVERAGE) we're relatively known for being weak and defenseless and are great targets for rapists, thieves, axe murderers, whatever.
This is my justification for having a sword in my car. And soon for having a CCW license. Sure the statistics are low, but at the end of the day, better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
And I'm sure someone in that jury will think its awesome I killed in self-defense with a sword.
What do you have a sword in your car for, to cut bullets?
I definitely have the problem of walking a lot faster than the average female (and most males). I don't mean to spook anyone, but I'm not gonna walk slow to make people less uncomfortable. Good advice on announcing my presence I suppose.
I have scared a number of women and a few men shitless on my evening runs. I run in Vibrams, so I'm mostly silent, and they don't notice me until I pass them. Even at a decent berth, they jump/shout/startle.
A few times, I tried to say something like "pardon me", but they jumped/shouted jut the same. Eventually, I gave up.
The moral? PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you're startled by anything walking down the street, you weren't paying enough attention.
Not sure I agree with the elevator thing. I've avoided getting on the elevator because someone freaked me out before, but I wouldn't want someone else not getting on and inconveniencing themselves for me. Just stay as reasonably far apart as you can and don't be weird.
I do hate when people (both guys and gals) walk right behind me. I have a big personal bubble. :-P Esp if I'm in a secluded area, if I hear someone walking behind me I purposely turn to look at them several times to let them know I'm paying attention.
As for the article, the only thing I don't agree with is saying hello. If a guy I don't know passing by me tries to converse/connect/whatever with me in any way I instantly become paranoid. It means he's paying attention to me, which is the opposite of what a guy should be doing. He could be trying to get me to stop, gauge my alertness, catch me off guard, etc. I know it sounds like overkill, but I'm sure I'm not the only woman that feels this way. Now if you are on the Subway or waiting for a bus or something, small talk is acceptable because its expected (people are bored, want to talk to pass the time).
Absolute no-no: Do not say "hey shorty" "you looking fine" "sweet thing" etc. It is annoying and rude -_-
I definitely have the problem of walking a lot faster than the average female (and most males). I don't mean to spook anyone, but I'm not gonna walk slow to make people less uncomfortable. Good advice on announcing my presence I suppose.
I have scared a number of women and a few men shitless on my evening runs. I run in Vibrams, so I'm mostly silent, and they don't notice me until I pass them. Even at a decent berth, they jump/shout/startle.
A few times, I tried to say something like "pardon me", but they jumped/shouted jut the same. Eventually, I gave up.
The moral? PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you're startled by anything walking down the street, you weren't paying enough attention.
I'm very attentive, but it's really hard to hear quiet things coming up behind you. I get startled sometimes, bikes especially.
As for the whole "men are rapists" thing, I know how that feels. I'm always conscious when I happen to be walking in the same direction as some girl and often try not to o the same way so that its not assumed that I'm following her. Sometimes I can't help but feel like a creeper for no apparent reason.
That still comes down to telling one demographic to change their behavior to accommodate another demographic's (mostly justified) fears.
Considering that the decks are (rightfully) stacked against men, though, that's kind of to be expected. The simple fact of the matter here is that it's not equal, because a horrifying number of men still rape women. There are women who go objectively too far, and make a point of making men feel bad about being men, but I don't think this article is unreasonable at all. If anything, it's common sense to actively try not to be a threatening presence on the street, the situation where it's dark and you're the person on the street save for a woman or two only exacerbating the issue.
I think my problem is I can't avoid looking threatening. I'm just a dour individual in general and even if I did all that other people would still think I'm up to something. I've seen black guys (of the stereotypical "scary black guy" persuasion) cross the street seeing me coming.
A few times, I tried to say something like "pardon me", but they jumped/shouted jut the same. Eventually, I gave up.
The moral? PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you're startled by anything walking down the street, you weren't paying enough attention.
I've found a polite "passing left/right" about 10ft behind someone works well when biking, though some people still are surprised.
As for the article, the only thing I don't agree with is saying hello. If a guy I don't know passing by me tries to converse/connect/whatever with me in any way I instantly become paranoid. It means he's paying attention to me, which is the opposite of what a guy should be doing. He could be trying to get me to stop, gauge my alertness, catch me off guard, etc. I know it sounds like overkill, but I'm sure I'm not the only woman that feels this way. Now if you are on the Subway or waiting for a bus or something, small talk is acceptable because its expected (people are bored, want to talk to pass the time).
Maybe because I've lived in the south my whole life (southern hospitality and all that) as a reflex if I accidentally make eye contact with someone on the street within reasonable speaking range I do nod or do a quick "good day" or "hello". Doesn't happen often but I tend to watch the people around me so it probably happens more than it could. Don't think I've had anyone react noticeably badly to it.
If my saying hello to you politely causes you a tizzy, you'll just have to have a tizzy. I'm not going to walk around guiltily averting my eyes because I have a penis. Been there, done that, all done.
If my saying hello to you politely causes you a tizzy, you'll just have to have a tizzy. I'm not going to walk around guiltily averting my eyes because I have a penis. Been there, done that, all done.
Fine but don't get butthurt when I don't respond, avoid eye contact, and increase my walking speed to get away faster.
Maybe because I've lived in the south my whole life (southern hospitality and all that) as a reflex if I accidentally make eye contact with someone on the street within reasonable speaking range I do nod or do a quick "good day" or "hello". Doesn't happen often but I tend to watch the people around me so it probably happens more than it could. Don't think I've had anyone react noticeably badly to it.
I've been in the south my whole life, too, so unfortunately my "don't say hello" preference is completely obliterated here. :-P You're going to make eye contact with people every now and then. Quick polite smiling to say "I'm friendly" and continuing on is fine. Its just something about a hello (or any verbal thing) that creeps me out... maybe its because I've gotten too many "hey shorty"s that it makes me paranoid. :-P
Kelsey refuses to answer the door at 10:30 am when the only conceivable person it could possibly be is the mail man for fear of being attacked by a stranger. But at least she admits the absurdity of this.
Kelsey refuses to answer the door at 10:30 am when the only conceivable person it could possibly be is the mail man for fear of being attacked by a stranger. But at least she admits the absurdity of this.
If my saying hello to you politely causes you a tizzy, you'll just have to have a tizzy. I'm not going to walk around guiltily averting my eyes because I have a penis. Been there, done that, all done.
This is a fair response.
Fine but don't get butthurt when I don't respond, avoid eye contact, and increase my walking speed to get away faster.
Kelsey refuses to answer the door at 10:30 am when the only conceivable person it could possibly be is the mail man for fear of being attacked by a stranger. But at least she admits the absurdity of this.
Get her a shotgun.
I don't think adding a gun to irrational fear is a good idea. Using a firearm requires clarity of thought. If you aren't thinking clearly, accidents happen and the wrong people get hurt.
I think we declared everything that could be said about guns in the republican thread. :-P
Funny story: My friend and I thought we were being followed in our car going home. A guy made obscene comments to us at a store, then left at the same time as us and was behind us for a long time, thus we were freaked out. I didn't want to get a potentially innocent person in trouble and call the cops yet, seeing as how we were safe as long as we were driving. So I called my mom and let her know to be ready to call the cops if a car followed us into the driveway. By the time we got there, the car had gone on its merry way, and we were safe. However my mom was standing on the porch in her floral nightgown with one of those fake orange cap shot guns (previous Halloween costume prop we had) in order to look threatening. It was quite silly. :-P
Since they'd already called out obscene things, I actually would have called the cops myself as a fairly confident man in that situation. Or, driven to the police station. I wouldn't have driven home.
Since they'd already called out obscene things, I actually would have called the cops myself as a fairly confident man in that situation. Or, driven to the police station. I wouldn't have driven home.
Alas, silly high schoolers do not have such wisdom. ;-P
I feel this.discussion would have gone a lot better if the various viewpoints had been contextualized with locations/scenarios to begin with. Sidewalk, elevator, campaign headquarters, dormitory, etc... it seems obvious now that arguments were made with vastly different mental pictures going on.
*reads thread* For fucks sake; I leave you folks alone for a few hours and we get to misandry, shotguns, and lions. Sometimes I feel like this forum is getting progressively stranger.
*reads thread* For fucks sake; I leave you folks alone for a few hours and we get to misandry, shotguns, and lions. Sometimes I feel like this forum is getting progressively stranger.
Now we're back to man-children and swords in cars. Nothing ever changes completely.
Comments
A few times, I tried to say something like "pardon me", but they jumped/shouted jut the same. Eventually, I gave up.
The moral? PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you're startled by anything walking down the street, you weren't paying enough attention.
I do hate when people (both guys and gals) walk right behind me. I have a big personal bubble. :-P Esp if I'm in a secluded area, if I hear someone walking behind me I purposely turn to look at them several times to let them know I'm paying attention.
As for the article, the only thing I don't agree with is saying hello. If a guy I don't know passing by me tries to converse/connect/whatever with me in any way I instantly become paranoid. It means he's paying attention to me, which is the opposite of what a guy should be doing. He could be trying to get me to stop, gauge my alertness, catch me off guard, etc. I know it sounds like overkill, but I'm sure I'm not the only woman that feels this way. Now if you are on the Subway or waiting for a bus or something, small talk is acceptable because its expected (people are bored, want to talk to pass the time).
Absolute no-no: Do not say "hey shorty" "you looking fine" "sweet thing" etc. It is annoying and rude -_-
I've been in the south my whole life, too, so unfortunately my "don't say hello" preference is completely obliterated here. :-P You're going to make eye contact with people every now and then. Quick polite smiling to say "I'm friendly" and continuing on is fine. Its just something about a hello (or any verbal thing) that creeps me out... maybe its because I've gotten too many "hey shorty"s that it makes me paranoid. :-P
Funny story: My friend and I thought we were being followed in our car going home. A guy made obscene comments to us at a store, then left at the same time as us and was behind us for a long time, thus we were freaked out. I didn't want to get a potentially innocent person in trouble and call the cops yet, seeing as how we were safe as long as we were driving. So I called my mom and let her know to be ready to call the cops if a car followed us into the driveway. By the time we got there, the car had gone on its merry way, and we were safe. However my mom was standing on the porch in her floral nightgown with one of those fake orange cap shot guns (previous Halloween costume prop we had) in order to look threatening. It was quite silly. :-P
For fucks sake; I leave you folks alone for a few hours and we get to misandry, shotguns, and lions.
Sometimes I feel like this forum is getting progressively stranger.
For those not familiar, check this out. This man is a national treasure.