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GeekNights 061214 - The Barge

RymRym
edited December 2006 in Everything Else

Tonight on GeekNights, we reveal the mysteries of The Barge. In the news, diamonds are still a scam, and Guitar Heroes 2 can be dangerous.

Scott's Thing - Nerdcore for Life Trailer
Rym's Thing - Crazy Taxi: Japanese Style

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Comments

  • Awesome. You have calmed the (nonexistent) revolution.
  • Kazuo Koike needs to write The Barge.
  • Kazuo Koike needs to writeThe Barge.
    Too true.
  • Aaron Sorkin's
    THE BARGE
  • edited December 2006
    Your guys' idea sounds a lot like The Running Man.

    Edit: Wow, good timing. About 10 seconds after I posted that, you guys started talking about how the barge would be different from it.
    Post edited by Starfox on
  • Look, I know you're right about the diamonds. But try telling that to a woman. My wife, let's call her "Lisa" for the sake of narrative, has grown up being indoctrinated by the following formula:

    $1k in jewelry = 1 love unit

    Therefore, the common joke in my house is that I'll ask her how much she loves me. She will promptly answer "7" because she currently owns approximately $7,000 in jewelry. Then I will ask if 7>or= the amount necessary to invoke a marital favor of some variety.

    I am, of course, joking. A little. Maybe.
  • Look, I know you're right about the diamonds. But try telling that to a woman. My wife, let's call her "Lisa" for the sake of narrative, has grown up being indoctrinated by the following formula:

    $1k in jewelry = 1 love unit

    Therefore, the common joke in my house is that I'll ask her how much she loves me. She will promptly answer "7" because she currently owns approximately $7,000 in jewelry. Then I will ask if 7>or= the amount necessary to invoke a marital favor of some variety.

    I am, of course, joking. A little. Maybe.
    I find this materialistic, vain attitude incredibly inept, vapid and intolerable. On the chance that I actually encounter people who seriously think these types of things, and there are a lot of them in this country, I mock and belittle them with all my might. I have absolutely no tolerance for someone so shallow that they judge their own worth by the quantity and quality of valuable, rare, shiny rocks and metals they possess, especially if those rocks and metals are not actually rare or valuable. This is a large part of the reason I do not have a girlfriend.

    If you like small shiny bits so much, let me grind up a few hundred pounds of glass for you to swim in.
  • But try telling that to a woman.
    I refuse to associate with anyone who has that level of misplaced priority, man or woman. I can guarantee that any woman who would feel put off by my not purchasing a diamond is someone I would NEVER consider marrying in the first place or likely even find attractive.
  • Pearls are more popular in my family.
  • I tried to figure out why my mom liked diamonds so much and the answer was "When I look at it, it makes me happy!"

    WTF, mate? What do you say to that?
  • edited December 2006
    I would use a quote from the "brave new world" but I would prefer her to be happy.
    Post edited by La Petit Mort on
  • But try telling that to a woman.
    I refuse to associate with anyone who has that level of misplaced priority, manorwoman. I can guarantee that any woman who would feel put off by my not purchasing a diamond is someone I would NEVER consider marrying in the first place or likely even find attractive.
    And "Lisa" would fire right back at you that she thinks video games are wasteful and a misplaced priority, and that she wouldn't associate with anyone who glorifies them like you do. She would say that video games have no inherent value, and that their makers inflate the price of each game by claiming "licensing" costs are high. Then she would say that a few cartels control the video game market, and that artificial demand is created by releasing new systems and removing all previous system games from the shelves, forcing people to waste thousands of dollars upgrading every four or five years.

    I'll bet you've spent more than $7k on gaming in the four years since I've been married. It's not a matter of being vapid or stupid, it's a matter of simple representation. For women, jewelry is a symbol of a relationship, and I know my wife holds her wedding ring in far higher esteem than I hold WoW. Every time that I give her a new piece of jewelry, she recognizes that as another symbol that I am willing to set aside money I could use for a hard drive or a power drill. It's a symbol that I am willing to sacrifice my own capital for her, even if I think jewelry is conventionally useless.

    Just don't be so quick to dismiss the priorities of others because they don't match yours. Also, I think it's strange that you would let such an insignificant aspect of a relationship be the main selling point. You would NEVER consider marrying someone who was put off by you not wanting to buy her a diamond? It seems such a small thing. I would buy Lisa a rock the size of Rym's head if she asked me to. :D
  • edited December 2006
    Post edited by Andrew on
  • edited December 2006
    That got my typing speed up to 38 lolz per minute. Of course, here's the perfect diamond:
    image
    Post edited by Jason on
  • RymRym
    edited December 2006
    I'll bet you've spent more than $7k on gaming in the four years since I've been married.
    I haven't spent even close to $7,000 on gaming in my LIFE, let alone the last four years.
    Then she would say that a few cartels control the video game market, and that artificial demand is created by releasing new systems and removing all previous system games from the shelves, forcing people to waste thousands of dollars upgrading every four or five years.
    She can say those things all she wants, but they're not even close to true.
    For women, jewelry is a symbol of a relationship
    Real women don't need an expensive, nonfunctional trinket to represent their relationship.
    Every time that I give her a new piece of jewelry, she recognizes that as another symbol that I am willing to set aside money
    So she'd feel differently about you if you refused to set aside money? Her love is somehow changed by the amount you're willing to spend? How about if you invested that money instead? Diamonds have no resale value, so the money is gone.
    It's a symbol that I am willing to sacrifice my own capital for her
    So, you're willing to effectively burn money to prove your commitment, and she expects you to do as much. No person I know would ask me to do such a thing, and would probably admonish me if I did.
    Also, I think it's strange that you would let such an insignificant aspect of a relationship be the main selling point.
    Someone who would feel less attracted to me depending on the amount of money I'm willing to spend on a relatively valueless rock, as opposed to how much I care about them, isn't someone I would care to know.
    You would NEVER consider marrying someone who was put off by you not wanting to buy her a diamond?
    No one I truly care about, nor anyone who truly cares about me, would demand such a thing in the first place as a condition of love. If someone truly loves you, they love you regardless of how much money you have, or what percentage of it you're willing to spend on a rock. If someone truly loves you, a plastic carnival ring means just as much as a $50,000 diamond one.

    Instead of buying a relatively worthless diamond, why not have spent that $7 on a month long honeymoon? Or as part of a down-payment on a house? Something that you both can enjoy and use, that has actual value?

    If I had seven thousand dollars, I could start a business. I could take someone on an AMAZING and memorable retreat. Seven thousand dollars is a lot of money.

    Let's say you'd gotten an artificial diamond instead. Or how about a cubic zirconia. The majority of people can't tell the difference in the latter, and no one can tell the difference in the former. She'd get the same utility out of the ring. Now, say she discovered later that the ring was worth far less than she'd assumed you paid for it. Would her feelings toward you change? Does the amount of money spent somehow correlate into altered emotions?
    Post edited by Rym on
  • edited December 2006
    Come on -- don't be a jackass. Of course it's not a condition of love, just a recognition of it. It's a symbol, not an embodiment. I get excited when she brings me a candy bar, but I'd be a whole hell of a lot more excited if she brought me home a Wii. That doesn't mean I love her more one way or the other.

    The problem is that you tend to put everything into these strange absolute abstracts and employ either-or fallacies; either she loves me when I give her things or she doesn't love at all. What the hell kind of logic is that? She never demanded anything as a condition of love; I gave it to show her that I do, and in her head, those dollar figures show how much I am willing to set aside for her.

    I own a house. I own two cars that are completely paid off. I own a shit-ton of stuff, and we live comfortably. We both have good jobs. SHE EVEN MAKES MORE MONEY THAN I DO. Sure, $7k is a lot of money, but it's nothing compared to the hundreds of thousands we've spent in the past decade on other things.

    Diamonds have no resale value? Why would she sell any of it? It's to wear. I didn't buy it to flip in 10 years after it appreciates. She'd damned well better never sell her engagement and wedding ring, because I plan to be in the picture until I eat myself to death 15 years hence, gaining posthumous fame for my unpublished works.

    Real women don't need an expensive, nonfunctional trinket to represent their relationship.
    Careful. That's my wife you're talking about, mister. She's real. I can vouch for it. Not Pinnocchio at all. Nope.

    As for video games:
    Wii - $250
    Gamecube - $120
    GBA - $80
    DS - $200
    DS Lite replacement - $200
    PS2 (did you get one yet?) - $150
    Computer - $450/split for other uses
    Extra controllers - $200
    DDR pad - $50
    Estimated 20 games annually at $30 mean price - $600 per year
    Internet access - $35 per month
    Assorted cables, cases, batteries, glare screens, and other accessories - $100

    It may not be $7,000, but it still amounts to several grand. I was pretty forgiving, too, because I think you've bought more than 20 games a year across all platforms and I quoted devalued after-market prices rather than launch costs. Internet access you would have regardless of gaming, as well, and I know you share a lot of the costs between the two of you. But still, gaming is a fucking expensive proposition that yields no viable financial reward, unless you live in Japan and play the competitive circuit. Or unless you're the Wizard.

    There's also the lost opportunity cost; for every hour I spend playing an MMO or FFVIII, that's one less hour I could be producing a service around the house, researching investments, doing extra work at the office, or negotiating another job.

    Now calm down and stop being so vindictive. My original post was pretty lighthearted and was meant to just garner a laugh. Post a got-damn haha or something.
    Post edited by Jason on
  • Video games are not harvested though the blood of slaves...


    ...unless they are EA games of course ;-)
  • I agree with everything Rym said, but I want to add one more thing. My main problem with jewelry is that it is non-functional. It serves only vanity, which, as I said, is one of the worst personality traits you can have in my book.

    At least video games do something. At least tools, cars and vacations are all functional items where you receive useful goods and services in return for your money. Jewelry is just useless rocks with some useless metal. At least something like platinum or gold can be considered an investment. Diamonds aren't even worth anything. A diamond ring doesn't do anything. It's completely useless. You might as well flush money down the toilet if you're going to just get a useless rock in exchange. Go dig up a rock from the backyard and burn your wallet. It's the same.

    There are just as many vain guys out there as there are women, only they use big screen TVs, overpowered computers and sports cars in place of diamonds and gold. I look down upon those penis extending guys almost as much as I look down upon the vain jewelry buying women. Someone who pays too much for a faster computer than they need, or buys a TV that is too big for their room, is almost as bad as someone who buys a diamond. Their only saving grace is that they are getting some functionality out of it in addition to the heaping pile of vanity-satisfaction. I do want to emphasize that that still only earns them a minute, nearly insignificant, amount of respect. If a woman wanted something functional, I could respect that as well.
  • Now calm down and stop being so vindictive.
    I don't think you know us very well ^_~ We'll argue viciously and with no reserve over what to have for dinner, or whether a political policy is 75% or 78% stupid. We'll pull out all the stops over whether a $20 game was worth buying. We'll lash out and shred eachother over whether or not aesthetics are worthwhile, or if solipsism is a valid philosophical framework.

    Vicious, balls-out, vindictive argument is a sport within the crew. It's our primary pastime. ^_~ With us, light-hearted argument and serious argument are no different, except that in the former we'll laugh about the insults when it's over. I've called Scott a worthless, sad human being with no capacity to appreciate the true beauty of existence, and he's called me a blathering, fantastical, wandering idiot who has no grasp of reality. That's how we roll.

    As for the rest... ^_~

    Wii - Scott bought one
    Gamecube - Scott bought one
    GBA - Gift
    DS - $200
    DS Lite replacement - Still have a DS
    PS2 (did you get one yet?) - Nope, and we'll get it free when we do
    Computer - I haven't bought a computer in seven years
    Extra controllers - One gamecube controller and a few DDR pads - $180
    Estimated 20 games annually at $30 mean price -I buy almost ALL my games used for next to nothing, or borrow them for free

    Internet access - I don't game online anymore
    Assorted cables, cases, batteries, glare screens, and other accessories - $15 DS case



    Diamonds have no resale value? Why would she sell any of it? It's to wear.
    Then a $400 fake would have the same utility, and no one could tell the difference ^_~
    gaming is a fucking expensive proposition that yields no viable financial reward,
    It provides entertainment relative to the money spent, just like movies and models and fishing. Diamonds provide the same utility as any other similar and largely indistinguishable clear gemstone, yet cost orders of magnitude more than said gems for no reason.

    The problem isn't buying jewelry. The problem is buying diamonds specifically. They cost a lot more money, but not for any non-fabricated reason. If you'd bought a gemstone or item that had actual value relative to what you paid for it, or else bought a faux diamond that was effectivly indistinguishable, all would be well. ^_~

    All the men and women I know understand exactly how much diamonds are really worth, and treat them accordingly. You can get something just as beautiful and meaningfull for far less money. The ONLY appeal of a diamond, over another gem, is the ability to say how much money you spent on it.
  • If a woman wanted something functional, I could respect that as well.
    Scott, I wear jewelry every day. I like jewelry quite a bit, especially silver.

    The issue with diamonds is purely an issue of the worthless gems being overpriced and sold on the virtue of their overpricedness. I have no beef with reasonably priced jewelry, and have no qualms with purchasing it.

    Diamonds are a matter of dimishing returns. You get the same use out of a $10 000 diamond that you get out of a $400 faux diamond, and they look the same as far as the vast majority of people are concerned. Thus, the $9 600 price difference is a total waste of money.
  • Diamonds are indeed worse than other jewelry, that is obvious. In addition to that, jewelry as a whole is vain and useless. I need a synonym for vanity.
  • RymRym
    edited December 2006
    ...jewelry as a whole is vain and useless
    No more useless than your wall scrolls, posters, PVC figures, and VANITY LICENSE PLATE.

    Hypocrite.
    Post edited by Rym on
  • edited December 2006
    I was going to point out the dozen or so useless, overpriced figures sitting on Rym's desk -- they serve no purpose, unless he's doing something... kinky... or... something. ;-0

    Also, this morning she told me she loves me 14, which means I must have done something very good, or that she thinks in base 7, which would be scary. It also means that it might be a good time to put on the ol' Jason charm and see exactly where a 14 leads. Maybe she'll do that one thing....
    Post edited by Jason on
  • Also, this morning she told me she loves me 14
    I find it bizarre that you guys can quantify love.
  • Sounds like something that would work great in a book, tv series (on a premium network), or a movie. If you ever get this going let me know. I'd love to do the graphic design work for the DVDs of the fights.
  • My wife is a self-proclaimed magpie. Loves jewelry. But after reading about the truth regarding diamonds she's convinced she doesn't want another diamond. Good for her, I say. In fact it's because she read Tom Zoellner's The Heartless Stone and passed it along to some university colleagues that Zoellner's coming to Ohio University in January to speak on the subject.

    I'm just thankful that I don't need to save for a diamond. If only she would be more like the woman in the Vizio commercial and go ga-ga over a 42" LCD HDTV...
  • The murder boat has come up in casual conversation again.

    Should we revisit The Barge? I just listened to this ancient episode again, and now 100% stand by all the money I've spent on microphones and mixers since 2006...
  • It was cute how confident you were about your ability to handle verbal mistakes in 2006.
  • Andrew said:

    Also, this morning she told me she loves me 14
    I find it bizarre that you guys can quantify love.Nuri and I just finished writing up our wedding contract. It's a literal description of the entire foundation of our relationship. Written in legal talk.

    You can quantify, categorize, and analyze absolutely anything.
    My main problem with jewelry is that it is non-functional. It serves only vanity, which, as I said, is one of the worst personality traits you can have in my book.
    Well, that would still make it functional - you just dislike the function. I dislike things that kill people, but they certainly function in that capacity.

    And I wholly disagree that attention to appearance is a universally negative trait. What's wrong with looking good? You shaved your head when you were balding too much, right? Fuckin' vanity, man. You should just walk around in wrinkled clothes, utterly unshaven.

    We all exhibit vanity to some degree or another. It's the degree to which it defines us (and that we allow it to define others) that is the issue.

    Seriously, what's wrong with wanting to look good?
  • Sorry, I'm not so concerned with wanting to look good that I will put in the time and effort to defend something I typed 8 years ago.
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