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Jason's Spawn

edited September 2011 in Everything Else
Word from the field is that the baby is due within the next 24-48 hours. Mission control will keep you updated on any late breaking news.
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  • But the question still remains... is the world ready?
  • edited September 2011
    I think everyone will enjoy Jason's message at the beginning of the special Jason has a baby episodes of ATW9K.
    Post edited by Rochelle on
  • edited September 2011
    I think everyone will enjoy Jason's message at the beginning of the special Jason has a baby episodes of ATW9K.
    In like six weeks. The one you're talking about is going at the front of our Big Return Episode.

    Well, I'm at the hospital, Lisa is hooked up to more machines than Anakin Skywalker, and we're waiting to see what happens. Her blood pressure is elevated and contractions are two to five minutes apart, so the nurses are giving each other meaningful looks. Rylin flipped the wrong way and is sitting breach, so if the moment comes they're preparing for a C-section. There is still a chance that we'll de-escalate from Vermilion Alert to Teal Alert and go home tonight, but those odds are closing with every passing hour.

    As Liz Lemon would say, "THINGS ARE HAPPENING."

    In other news, Rym is supposed to record ATW9K with us tonight, but I'm not sure it's going to happen. If you haven't heard anything definitive by 7 p.m., buddy, then EJECT.

    Keep eyes glued to this thread for updates, pictures, and an increasingly nervous/pacing Jason. If you have my cell phone number, feel free to text because I need distractions. Anybody have water they need boiled or wood they need chopped?
    Post edited by Jason on
  • In like six weeks. The one you're talking about is going at the front of our Big Return Episode.
    Yes, that one almost made me tinkle in my skivvies.

    Fear not ATW9K lovers, the show will go on!

    P.S. Kev, Omar, and I are currently looking for a new host. Please send a resume to ro.rosaka@gmail.com.
  • P.S. Kev, Omar, and I are currently looking for a new host. Please send a resume to ro.rosaka@gmail.com.
    I thought we said we were going to wait until the child was old enough to overthrow the old man?
  • I thought we said we were going to wait until the child was old enough to overthrow the old man?
    STOP PATRICIDING ME.
  • BTW, we're at Mercy, so when I went to get coffee earlier I made a note of useful bottlenecks and zombie kill-zones. Just in case.

    We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
  • Rylin
    Rylin Hawk?

    Your kid is set to be an action hero.
  • We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
    Yes.
  • Best of luck. I'm rapidly spinning around in my chair in order to implore Rylin to assume the party escort exit position.
  • P.S. Kev, Omar, and I are currently looking for a new host. Please send a resume to ro.rosaka@gmail.com.
    Or you know, you could always go back to having someone on there that was on a few of the earliest episodes... HINT HINT.
  • Jason, my only advice to you is to purchase a family beating stick to defend young Rylin from the army of grabby hands.
    P.S. Kev, Omar, and I are currently looking for a new host. Please send a resume to ro.rosaka@gmail.com.
    Read the wrong way, this makes you sound like parasites.
    BTW, we're at Mercy, so when I went to get coffee earlier I made a note of useful bottlenecks and zombie kill-zones. Just in case.

    We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
    Just get in the damn elevator already!
  • P.S. Kev, Omar, and I are currently looking for a new host. Please send a resume to ro.rosaka@gmail.com.
    Or you know, you could always go back to having someone on there that was on a few of the earliest episodes... HINT HINT.
    Those episodes do not exist! They are part of the dark & dirty past of ATW9k
  • Just get in the damn elevator already!
    I hate elevators.

    Also, vans, mountains, lawyers, parades, and Ayn Rand.
  • We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
    I have an assualt rifle with a loaded mag by my bed! :P
  • We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
    Yes. Especially at hospitals and malls. Also, I make a habit of never sitting with my back to the door unless I'm sure that I'll have a solid 2-3 seconds of cover before someone can get an angle on me.
  • Just get in the damn elevator already!
    I hate elevators.

    Also, vans, mountains, lawyers, parades, and Ayn Rand.
    It is now my personal mission to find a way to combine all of those things.
  • edited September 2011
    FYI Everyone, I already have dibs on being the godfather.

    Post edited by Andrew on
  • It is now my personal mission to find a way to combine all of those things.
    A parade of lawyers in vans reading Ayn Rand while going up a mountain on a vehicle elevator.
    Do I get the prize?
  • godfather
    I thought we settled on FSMfather.
  • Doesn't quite have the connotations I'm looking for...
  • Doesn't quite have the connotations I'm looking for...
    Would you prefer an invisible pink deity of the single-horned variety?
  • We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
    Yes. Especially at hospitals and malls. Also, I make a habit of never sitting with my back to the door unless I'm sure that I'll have a solid 2-3 seconds of cover before someone can get an angle on me.
    I rarely think of this. It's too paranoid for my tastes.
  • Good luck! Remember, priorities, be back home before 8:00PM to record tonight!
  • We might have talked about this before, but does anyone else instinctively check for defensive positions, escape routes, and firing angles wherever you go?
    Yes. Especially at hospitals and malls. Also, I make a habit of never sitting with my back to the door unless I'm sure that I'll have a solid 2-3 seconds of cover before someone can get an angle on me.
    I do this too. I'm intensely uncomfortable with my back to open space or a door unless there is a mirror of some kind on the wall that lets me see what is behind me. I usually take a wall seat in a restaurant if there is a choice, and if not then I'm often looking around behind me way more than necessary.
  • So who do with think will be the bigger My Little Pony fan, Jason or his daughter?
  • So who do with think will be the bigger My Little Pony fan, Jason or his daughter?
    I will destroy you for suggesting such blasphemy. She will be a fan of the following things: Picard, football, the Cleveland Indians, monkeys, Megatron (G1), Batman and Batman-related paraphernalia, electronics, Kurt Vonnegut, and the Beatles.
  • You're going to subject her to Transformers? Dude, I'm calling Child Services in advance.
  • You're going to subject her to Transformers? Dude, I'm calling Child Services in advance.
    That might not be so bad. If you call now, they may come and extract the child early, saving Jason a lot of trouble waiting around. Then, he can snatch the baby and make a clean escape because he has already clearly defined all of the best routes via which he could flee.
  • I'm calling child services to give them fair warning.
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