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Jesus is coming (everyone look busy)

open_sketchbookopen_sketchbook
edited May 2011 in Everything Else
The Rapture is tommorow guys. For reals this time. All the true believers floating off into the sky.

Leaving us cool people with all their stuff and a sudden, dramatic shift in voting bases.

So, basically, what are you your plans for the next seven years of fundamentalist Christian-free existence? Joyride in the local priest's car? Rampant looting? Helping the Anti-Christ take power over a one-world government and carving the mark of the beast into everyone? Fun times ahead!

Personally, I plan to transform the local churches in the area into party central; wild raves six days a week, rest on the seventh.
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Comments

  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    Actually, Rapture has already begun over here. I missed out, though.
  • Josh BytesJosh Bytes
    Gonna be shooting some zombie believers!
  • AxelAxel
    Sorry, you guys will have to do it without me. I'm gonna go all floaty, unless "Left Behind" is any indication, in which case I'm gonna disappear. XP
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    Actually, Rapture has already begun over here. I missed out, though.
    It's supposed to start at 6 PM local time. Isn't it like 2 AM where you are?
  • VigaViga
    edited May 2011
    Sorry, you guys will have to do it without me. I'm gonna go all floaty, unless "Left Behind" is any indication, in which case I'm gonna disappear. XP
    I would say see you later, but, well...awww. Um, bring me back a celestial tee shirt.

    I plan to find a party after work tomorrow. I should ask my boss, "What's store protocol for an apocalypse?"
    Post edited by Viga on
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    Listen, dude, when you get up there, can you send me like a hair from God's beard or something? I've got some tests I want to run.

    On a serious note, how do we deal with the level of crazy the guy who made this prediction is exhibiting? He predicted the end of the world back in 1994, saying the Bible was always right. Then, he was wrong. Now he's doing it again with the same line: "The Bible is always right."

    Clearly, he's a defective human. Can we fix him?
  • ChurbaChurba
    We should go and grab a bunch of shoes from goodwill, a bunch of dry ice, and leave the shoes around at random with dry ice in them so they smoke.
  • LyddiLyddi
    What about all the plagues and horsemen and end of the world stuff?

    Hmm... I bet since most of us that would be left behind are the scientists and smart ones, we could figure out a way to stop it and end up with a better world. Maybe we should stock up on bug repellant and fire extinguishers. :-P
  • open_sketchbookopen_sketchbook
    Plague arrives. We penicillin at it. Apocalypse goes off schedule.

    U jelly, God?
  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    edited May 2011
    Actually, Rapture has already begun over here. I missed out, though.
    It's supposed to start at 6 PM local time. Isn't it like 2 AM where you are?
    Oh, it's at 6PM? Guess I'm still waiting.
    Does it take discrete jumps along timezones, or will it happen continuously with the rotation of the Earth?
    Sorry, you guys will have to do it without me. I'm gonna go all floaty, unless "Left Behind" is any indication, in which case I'm gonna disappear. XP
    You think that now, but how can you be sure you're a true believer? You might get halfway up and then fall back down.
    Post edited by lackofcheese on
  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    edited May 2011
    On a serious note, how do we deal with the level of crazy the guy who made this prediction is exhibiting? He predicted the end of the world back in 1994, saying the Bible was always right. Then, he was wrong. Now he's doing it again with the same line: "The Bible is always right."
    Offer him a loan at 100000% interest with an interest free period with no repayments until whatever date he predicts for Rapture.
    Post edited by lackofcheese on
  • ChurbaChurba
    Oh, it's at 6PM? Guess I'm still waiting.
    Does it take discrete jumps along timezones, or will it happen continuously with the rotation of the Earth?
    Apparently, Camping said "When we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about – this is based on other verses in the Bible – when the clock says about 6 p.m., there's going to be this tremendous earthquake that's going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun."
  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    How can a tremendous earthquake occur without being felt everywhere in the world in short order?
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    How can a tremendous earthquake occur without being felt everywhere in the world in short order?
    Well, first, be crazy. After that, anything is possible.
  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    edited May 2011
    Perhaps there will be quakes all around the world at all times, but through a process of destructive interference (like with light waves) the only thing left to be felt will be a single massive vibration that will travel around the world at the exact same speed speed as the Earth's rotation?
    Post edited by lackofcheese on
  • VigaViga
    What about all the plagues and horsemen and end of the world stuff?

    Hmm... I bet since most of us that would be left behind are the scientists and smart ones, we could figure out a way to stop it and end up with a better world. Maybe we should stock up on bug repellant and fire extinguishers. :-P
    Create NERV?

    I rather have us all turn into LCL than the other type of end of the world.
  • GundampilotspazGundampilotspaz
    Why are we even paying attention to this nonsense?
  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    Why are we even paying attention to this nonsense?
    It's entertaining, that's why.
  • ChurbaChurba
    Perhaps there will be quakes all around the world at all times, but through a process of destructive interference (like with light waves) the only thing left to be felt will be a single massive vibration that will travel around the world at the exact same speed speed as the Earth's rotation?
    Also, if you're in a plane, does that make you immune?
  • lackofcheeselackofcheese
    Perhaps there will be quakes all around the world at all times, but through a process of destructive interference (like with light waves) the only thing left to be felt will be a single massive vibration that will travel around the world at the exact same speed speed as the Earth's rotation?
    Also, if you're in a plane, does that make you immune?
    Immune to the quake? Sure. But there will probably be a huge electromagnetic pulse that will crash all the planes.
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    Holy shit I hate these fucking people so much.

    I mean, seriously:
    “I don’t really have any motivation to try to figure out what I want to do,’’ said Joseph Haddad, 14, “because my main support line, my parents, don’t care.’’
    Fuck you, parents. Fuck you.
  • ChurbaChurba
    edited May 2011
    Fuck you, parents. Fuck you.
    I have literally nothing to add but a stream of invective strong enough to strip paint from a fucking battleship. Hurr durr I'm gonna ignore my kids because some shitgobbler pulled some numbers out of his tattered windsock of an arse before smashing them together, so I'm going to ignore my kids because it just can't NOT happen.

    You fucking shower of cunts.
    Post edited by Churba on
  • Zack PatateZack Patate
    edited May 2011
    Wouldn't it be 6pm in Jerusalem or somewhere near there? This the Christian god we're talking about. He makes shit happen... to the Jews.
    Post edited by Zack Patate on
  • Victor FrostVictor Frost
    I hope the only criteria isn't virginity. I don't wanna go!
  • ChurbaChurba
    edited May 2011
    Wouldn't it be 6pm in Jerusalem or somewhere near there? This the Christian god we're talking about.
    The christian god starting the rapture in the middles east with all them gosh durn Muslin towelheads? Boy, you've lost your fool mind. Everybody KNOWS that christ will come to America first, because they're his chosen people.
    Post edited by Churba on
  • Zack PatateZack Patate
    Sounds like I have more time to OD on ammoniumchloride then. Wish me luck!
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    I personally find this attempt by the Christians to steal the 2012 movement's thunder quite amusing.
  • lifecirclelifecircle
    edited May 2011
    Personally just sent farewell and ''Ill Miss You"" notes and messages to all my Christian friends. Man, i would go, but i couldnt leave you Internet..
    Post edited by lifecircle on
  • SailSail
    image
  • GreatTeacherMacRossGreatTeacherMacRoss
    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're all still here.
    /thread
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