The Santa Debate

midasiam

Is it morally wrong to lie to your child about the existence of Santa Clause?

On one side, I can see the joy that believing in something like Santa can bring to a child. On the other side, lying to your children and then telling them you did so would surely shake their trust in you as a parent. I myself, though of no age to father a child, have often wondered which is best. What do you guys think?

Starfox

Everyone knows The Santa Clause is real. Why would you lie to your kids about it?

Seriously though, I don't think there's a big problem with it. One thing I have noticed though, is that parents tell their kids about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and God. Well, everyone knows about the truth about the first three, now just to convince them about the fourth...

Apreche

If you need lies to bring you joy, then you're never going to be happy. Lying to kids only teaches them to distrust adults. It also teaches them that lying is ok. It's bad all around.

Cremlian

Christmas Def-con

Gods, you guys, Seriously did you really ever seriously believe that Santa was real? And when you were eventually shown proof he wasn't did you really view it as if you had been seriously lied to by your parents? I mean what kind of fragile child were you. It's just a game people play to give some happiness to some spoiled kid. I mean if I ever truly believed I wouldn't have been looking where my parents hid the presents every freaking year. Also, I freaked out when getting placed on a santa because I knew it was really just some bum!

I think you should tell your kids that santa is real but also teach them critical thinking. Leave serious hints about the truth about Santa and when your kids figure it out. Reward them for learning how to critical think and use it as a metaphor about how all organized religion is absolute Bullshit.

HMTKSteve

This reminds me of a story I read last year where a kid went around his house looking for presents and found his parents had bought an X-box 360 for him. He then bragged to all of his friends about it.

to teach the kid a lesson the parents sold the system on eBay but kept the box.

He ended up getting an X-box 360 box full of coal for Christmas.

Jason

I was five years old when I figured it out. I wonder if you could draw any logical conclusion between when people discover Santa isn't real vs. when they discover the same about God. Wouldn't it be a kick if there was a cult that seriously, religiously perpetuated a Santa mythos and indoctrinated children from infancy, using an elaborate system of churches and shame?

Rym

My policy is very simple. I would never lie to a child if asked a direct question, and I would never lie to cover another person's lie. I won't go out of my way to tell other people's children that there's no Santa/Jesus/Daryl Surat, but I'll answer them honestly if they ask me.

I have known people who believed in Santa to a frighteningly old age, and I known people who have become violently angry that a stranger in the street happened to ruin the "Santa fantasy" for their precious child.

If anything, children should be told that "Santa" is a tradition on Christmas and nothing more. I do believe that lying to children, even about nice things, can make them more credulous about other lies or, when they're older, less credulous when adults try to give them advice. Rational, critical thinking is important even at a young age, and children are often smarter than a lot of people give them credit for.

Personally, I never believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, or any of that. I pretended to, as I understood that it was somehow important to my parents, but I was aware for as long as I had awareness that the idea was absurd, and that my parents were buying these presents. My knowledge did no diminish any joy I gained from the holiday, and if anything strengthened my love and trust for my parents.

In sum, don't lie to kids, no matter how well-intentioned you are.

HMTKSteve

I just tell my daughter that Santa brings her presents if she is good. When she asks if Santa is "real" I tell her that if you believe in him he will bring presents, if you do not believe in him he will not bring presents.

As an adult that just means she will get the same amount of presents but none will be from Santa.

To her, she thinks that if she is good and plays along she will get more stuff.

Eventually she will come out and tell us there is no Santa, but for the time being it helps keep her in line...

Wait a minute! Santa == God!

Both offer you gifts for being good and a bad place (coal?) if you are bad!

Andrew

When she asks if Santa is "real" I tell her that if you believe in him he will bring presents, if you do not believe in him he will not bring presents.

It seems like you are promoting believing in something that has no physical evidence of ever being real. You are rewarding her for blind faith, which frankly in my opinion is not the best of ideas. If I was in this position I would most likely ask my child what they think and then respond with why do you think that? I really would like to use this opportunity to foster a habit of questioning people who ask you to blindly believe in something/someone.

HMTKSteve

My daughter has no problem with Blind Faith. She believes nothing that is not backed-up with facts.

When she "Agrees" to the idea of Santa being real she does it only so far as it means more presents.

She also believes that Mom and Dad somehow "know everything she does." We do, but only because we have a good "parent" network of cell phones.

I'm more concerned with her temper.

She's in second grade now but...

First day of school (kindergarten) she broke a kid's glasses.
She was sent to the Principal's office in first grade.
Just yesterday she brought home a note to be signed about her "accidentally" pinching some kid.
My wife went in to help out with class one day and some little boy said, "Julia's always mean to me."

See, my daughter takes no crap from anyone. If you call her a name, and you are not much bigger than her, she will hit you, hard, again and again until you take back those bad words or someone pulls her off of you.

I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared.

The truth is, she only agrees to believe in Santa for her parent's sake.

Erwin

Well, children can be easily amuse. I mean I think a kid can figure out that Santa does not exist by just watching a movie about Christmas. I was born and raised out of the states and I can very well tell that most kids in another countries do not believe in Saint. Nick. I think one can pretty much tell by looking at Coca-Cola can or bottle (an entity that truly would love kids would not sell its image).
I think the only countries that believe in Saint Nick are the ones that are over commercialize him.
Nevertheless, there I think there used to be one, a long time ago in a different country, and I also think that the spirit/feeling of giving is in everyone.