How to break your atheism to a religious family

MagL33To

I was raised in a devoutly Christian family for all of my 20 years, but a few months ago I decided that I would become an atheist due to all the science behind evolution etc. The thing is, I'm not sure how to break it to my family. So, since then I've still been going to church every week and putting up a front. It's starting to tire me out and really get on my nerves. I'm guessing (hoping) that maybe a couple of you have been in this situation and I was wondering what you did to rectify it.

Any response is appreciated

Stefan

Jason

You might want to check out this old thread.

MagL33To

Thanks :)

Sail

You might want to check outthisold thread.

Unfortunately, I don't think a conclusion was ever reached in that thread...

bunnikun

Just tell them what you think. If they get mad or upset, let them cool down for awhile, but still call or contact them in some way to let them know your still their for them. They'll except it, they can't stay mad at their own son just because you have different religious views.

When it comes to family, it's best just to be honest.

MagL33To

Well, I just told them. It didn't go badly. My dad pretty much accepted it (I think he's a closet atheist too), and my mum seemed to be in a bit of disbelief. However, they'd still like me to keep coming to church. I'm guessing my dad just wants to save face. I don't want to embarrass them, and I know that if I stop coming to church questions will be asked, but having to basically lie to everyone there just feels so wrong to me...


Bit of a necro, but I thought it'd be ok to post this.

GreatTeacherMacRoss

Here's the thing....you're over 18. You can do whatever you want. If you don't want to go to church, then don't. If your parents become angry with you, explain your reasons in a sensible manner. If they are worried about what people will think of them, then that's really their issue. If they care about you going to church to 'keep up appearances' to their friends, then simply mention to those friends that's the very reason you're going. No sense in lying, right?

navelfluff

Thanks for the update, and congrats for coming out of the closet!

It's not like parents completely loose their power over their kids when they turn 18. Family is family, and you have to respect their choices and needs just as much as they must respect yours. It is sometimes a good idea to make compromises.

How about you make a deal with your parents to go to church every second week for a while? Think of it this way: going to church is not just a religious act, it is also a social event. By going every second week, you fulfill the social half of the event as a gesture to your parents. When they get comfortable with that situation, you just stop going. Just a suggestion.

I fully support you in not lying.