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Favorite quotes



  • Klemens Von Metternich
    He was a total dick.
    Metternich was easily either the best or second-best diplomat and statesman in the early 18th century.
  • "The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not."

    -Eric Hoffer
  • "You gotta be realistic about these things"


    From the "The Blade Itself" trilogy, awesome books!
  • "That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what its really all about. " Father Ted (the greatest sit com of all time)

    "Everyone is born right-handed, only the gifted overcome it" - I cannot even remember where I got this from but it's still brilliant.
  • "Hellen Keller was a politician, right?" - a friend
    "What country is pig latin from" - same friend

    "Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow."- The Third Doctor
    "Oh yeah. Well I'm the lord of time." - 10th Doctor.
    "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. " - 10th Doctor

    ''Najica!?.....Desert Punk!?" - If you don't know, shame on you.
  • For that matter,
    "My name is JOEL!"
    and "We name him Hanabi; He gonna' BROW UP!"
  • "Road to Hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs" -Ernest Hemingway (from The Sun Also Rises)
  • "Road to Hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs" -Ernest Hemingway (fromThe Sun Also Rises)
    "This is entirely untrue. The road to hell is paved with frozen door-to-door salesmen. It's rather nice, and the younger demons go skating in the winter." Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman (from Good Omens)
  • Klemens Von Metternich
    He was a total dick.
    Metternich was easily either the best or second-best diplomat and statesman in the early 18th century.
    He oppressed millions of people.
  • "It's...incredible! There are things down here I've never even dreamed of! I'm gonna try and blow it up!" ~ Dib
  • "I don't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member." -Groucho Marx
  • "Your stupid a$$ can't hack or nuthin, I got Norton" -some kid
  • I know this isn't the right thread but this just happened, and I feel it needs to be shared. It is concerning "Dirty Potter", some sort of harry potter audio porn made from parts of the audio book cleverly edited together.

    [10:59:34 PM] Joe boomer: The parts I quoted are from the second part of number 3.
    [10:59:34 PM] Joe boomer:
    [10:59:39 PM] Joe boomer: He's the first part.
    [11:03:05 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: that...
    [11:03:08 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: that's surreal
    [11:03:22 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: it's like some horny 12 year old girls fanfiction
    [11:03:29 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: but read by some old british guy..
    [11:03:42 PM] Joe boomer: And made completely from the actual Harry Potter audiobook.
    [11:03:48 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: well, yeah
    [11:03:59 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: but why was the word faggot in an HP book?
    [11:04:05 PM] Joe boomer: I have no clue.
    [11:04:06 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: or cock?
    [11:04:14 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: or spank?
    [11:04:20 PM] Joe boomer: You can synthesize words, y'know?
    [11:04:22 PM] Joe boomer: I've done it myself.
    [11:04:50 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: i suppose if they were going through the trouble of finding all those other words, they wouldn't mind manufacturing a few of their own
    [11:05:17 PM] Joe boomer: You can splice certain sounds from words to make new ones.
    [11:08:01 PM] Joe boomer: After you finish part 1, you can continue listening to part 2.
    [11:08:26 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: I think its hilarious that this exists, but I think I've had enough of it.
    [11:08:43 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: I'm not gonna sit here and listen to harry potter gay porn.
    [11:08:47 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: thats just gay.
    [11:08:48 PM] Joe boomer: hahahah
    [11:09:05 PM] Joe boomer: Not all of it is gay.
    [11:09:15 PM] Joe boomer: There's also scat and golden showers.
    [11:09:27 PM] Joe boomer: Plus Futanari.
    [11:10:19 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: When I paused it, Hagrid was nailing harry in the ass. I will subject myself to no more of this.
    [11:10:26 PM] Joe boomer: Hahahha
    [11:11:09 PM] Joe boomer: Right now, I'm listening to how J.K. Rowling is shitting on harry potter's face.
    [11:11:27 PM] Joe boomer: So strange.
    [11:12:06 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: thats breaking the 4th wall
    [11:12:21 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: a first in fanfiction porno.
    [11:12:24 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: I think.
    [11:12:26 PM] Joe boomer: Hah
    [11:13:48 PM] Joe boomer: Now the audiobook reader is in the porno, thinking about very pregnant japanese girls.
    [11:14:02 PM] Joe boomer: Double 4th wall breakage.
    [11:14:28 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: dude, dont you think you've had enough gay audio porn?
    [11:14:44 PM] Joe boomer: Well
    [11:14:49 PM] Joe boomer: Is voldemort male?
    [11:15:02 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: ostensibly yes.
    [11:15:09 PM] Joe boomer: Oh...
    [11:15:16 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: you did not know this?
    [11:15:28 PM] Joe boomer: I thought he didn't really have a gender or something.
    [11:15:47 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: "HE who shall not be named"
    [11:15:52 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: "HE"
    [11:15:54 PM] Joe boomer: Oh right.
    [11:16:44 PM] Joe boomer: I just can't stop laughing when the narrator can't pronounce Dumbledore.
    [11:17:02 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: how can you not pronounce dumbledore?
    [11:17:13 PM] Joe boomer: By some clever audio editing.
    [11:17:19 PM] Joe boomer:
    [11:17:22 PM] Joe boomer: At about 6:15
    [11:17:24 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: No.
    [11:17:27 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: keep that link away
    [11:17:30 PM] Joe boomer: :P
    [11:17:32 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: keep your gay
    [11:17:35 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: idiotic
    [11:17:40 PM] Sonic D Hedgehog: audioporn away
    [11:17:44 PM] Joe boomer: There's no more gay.
  • No.


  • Aha, now we know why Joe's so blissfully happy lately. >:}3
  • That conversation is my TOTD now. Wow.
  • I'm not sure why but I feel an evil laugh coming on...
    Wait for it...
    Wait for it...

  • "I'm sorry I caused all that throat cancer and bowel cancer... I was just on a roll" -The Kids in the Hall episode 1
  • Charlie Brooker: "[Windows Vista] feels more like a satirical cartoon about infuriating bureaucracy than an operating system."
  • "Basically, run"

    The Eleventh Doctor.
  • "It ain't a nice road, but you don't expect someone to nick your snowman." -- English woman during a 911 call about someone stealing her snowman.
  • "Basically, run"

    The Eleventh Doctor.
    That's one of my favorite sequences.
  • "It ain't a nice road, but you don't expect someone to nick your snowman." -- English woman during a 999 call about someone stealing her snowman.
    Knowing the right emergency code - very useful, that.
  • "What the fuck, fuck shit up"
    - Chuck Dukowski
  • "Annie's Boobs are running wild!"

    Troy- Community
  • "Maybe we could have dinner! Perhaps the Olive Garden. It's like eating in the private kitchen of a delightful Italian stereotype!"
    "Dammit! I haven't been to the Olive Garden in, like, forever!"
  • "Do what he says, or he"ll cut off your big toe. On that you can trust me."
  • "The demo is, of course, better than the record. Of course it is. You already love the demo, and now you're trying to make something identical to it, but somehow better than the thing you love. Can you carve yourself a new mom out of butter? Embrace the mom you already love and release the goddamn demo already. Speaking of which, you will eventually lose your parents. Whatever you're doing right now, it will mean nothing to you once they are gone. Drop it and call your mom. She'd love to hear from you. Tell her you tried to carve a new one out of butter, and have decided it's not worth it and you're sticking with her and releasing the demo after all." - Steve Albini
  • Steve Albini is legitimately insane. But a good kind of insane. Like the crazy hobo who gives great advice.
  • "Just because an idea is overly convoluted and complex it doesn't mean it's cool." -South Park about Inception.
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