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Atheism IRL
I'm a fairly new listener. Yesterday I heard the origins episode on atheism and it made me wonder how other people handle it. I'm an atheist, but sometimes I find myself avoiding the subject at work or around older family members. Being gay I've already gone through this shit once with my family. I'm not exactly excited about making waves again.
Many religious people have no apologies about shoving their thoughts in your face, but do you feel it's worth the potential drama to be loud about something so personal? I don't feel like things will ever change if I keep avoiding it.
Many religious people have no apologies about shoving their thoughts in your face, but do you feel it's worth the potential drama to be loud about something so personal? I don't feel like things will ever change if I keep avoiding it.
Comments
Although I will say I have met atheists that act the same as the extreme christian nuts that get in my face about how evil I am. I met the Ned Flanders to the max of atheistism that tried to reverse convert me to the effect of the christian nut. People like that piss me off to such an extent I want to destroy both sides completely. It's not worth the drama or yelling.
Otherwise it's whatever.
I much prefer Agnosticism to saying something I can't prove. As religion, by the bizzarity [is that a word?] of it's claims and how they have shaped our culture has instilled in me the idea that there may be things we do not know of and couldn't explain but by that description they could be anything. God could be a sock, The dolphins could be running everything, Rym and Scott might not be gay. In the end I decided to focus on what is actually applicable. God may or may not exist and/or condone homosexuality but the population of earth would probably be happier if I was to treat all people without prejudice.
What I'm really trying to say is: Set your own standards for living and know why they are as they are. If people hate you for not believing as they do (when they can't have anything independently proved) then try and question why they are hateful. Religion isn't the problematic part of religious hate, the hate is.
Anyway, I currently live in a household that is absolutely and completely religious. My parents force me to pray every night, we go to church every Sunday, we pray right before we eat or go to work, etc. Of course, regardless of all this conditioning, I am still 100% Atheist. I'm not ready to tell my parents about it; I'm sure they'll treat it as if I was gay and that I was coming out. I feel for you, though. You have both problems.
[Publicly visible to the public? As opposed to what?]
Edit: Patrick, if you are worried how your parents will react, just refrain from sharing your views with them.
More importantly, I ask the True Believer: if the afterlife so great, why not be on your way as soon as possible?
Suicide may be against a particular set of mumbos or jumobos, but I bet really risky behavior isn't: skydive using a chute packed by a drunk or a junkie, for example. Another idea:do your proselytizing in a really hard area of town, or in a place like Sudan, where I hear they have a sense of humor about dissenting creeds.
The True Believer could be enjoying their reward inside a week if they set their mind to it.
The big ideological break can wait until some level of independence is achieved.
Being a parent does not mean you accept every thing your kid does.
A parent will still love you even after disowning you, it's called "tough love".
I expressed myself poorly. I was more interested in a specific case: a teenager, with little prospect of being self-supporting, faces a tough choice in the face of bad parents. It requires the teen to assess what his parents reaction will be, and to decide whether or not he is willing (and able) to take the consequences.
I'd like to think I'd have stood up to my folks if they'd been bigots or whackos, no matter the cost to me. tuns out I had pretty good folks on a scale of things, so I never actually faced the situation so I can't say for sure what I would have done. I wouldn't condemn a fourteen or fifteen year old kid for deciding to keep quiet if it meant not getting tossed out of the house. In fact, I might call them a fool if they did: there is not much call for homeless teenagers except as providers of orifices.
If they were twenty, and perfectly capable of supporting themselves, I'd think differently.
I admit is is probably rare that a teen faces eviction: if the price was merely some discord in the house, the teen probably owes it to themselves to be honest. That assumes the teen is actually in the right, and not in the thrall of standard teenage narcissism, which affected (or affects) us all.
Sometimes, swallowing one's pride is the most prudent action. If you know their reaction will be to deny you a substantial boon, you can hold your tongue, get the boon, and then pose the question.
- Announce atheism
- Get disowned
OR- Hold tongue
- Get college money
- After getting college money, announce atheism
- If disowned: "Ha! I knew you didn't love me, so I lied all those years to get the college money."
More impact and more money: generally a better deal.In this situation, I will refer you to About.com, so please check out the link.
Advice for Atheists Regarding Family
On another note, my mom is a pretty devout Roman Catholic. I told her I was an athiest and she just shrugged it off. Though when she gets mad at me sometimes she says something along the lines of "Because you don't go to church you don't have any morals or values" or that I'm "just like all of those athiest criminals in prison" depending on the severity of the scolding.
I would say you should test the waters a little bit before announcing athiesm (maybe talk about athieism to them), this one would hope that you know your parents well enough to be able to talk to them about something like this
On the other hand, such an announcement would only to serve to make them upset and distraught, and they might send you to a bible camp in JesusLand where they'll force you to watch The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe over and over again.
The cost of the announcement greatly outweighs the benefit. Hush up. You kids wouldn't know hard if it jumped up and bit you.
Though I am not religious, I feel that is the fun loving and sarcastic way of speaking that still gets your point across... yet acknowledges that you still think the person your speaking to isn't bad or lower then you in any regard.
dutopia: Tell your parents what you believe. They should know, and why would you want to build resentment for them continuing to drag you to church. While they may be surprised, they may also surprise you. They won't hate you, or kick you out. I they do, you can be comforted by the knowledge that they don't understand their own faith. It's no secret. As a Christian I am charged with a great commission, to spread the Good News, I can't do that when I'm dead. I was called to serve here, and there doesn't appear to be a shortage of non-believers.
If it's going to cause too much discord, upsetness and otherwise totally screw with everyday life, do not freaking do it. Building up resentment isn't going to help either. I, myself, have the problem of: athesism (with a mother who, while not the most practiced, certainly believes in God), being a lesbian ("I think you're just trying to rebel" - Mother, on my sexuality), and hating the fact that neither my brother or my mom work. GRANTED. They have reasons, even if they're incredibly pathetically flimsy. We got over the whole sexuality and religion thing a while ago, but the lack of job has bothered me from day one, and bothers me more as I get a life. I have left my house because of that, and while I was alright (I planned it out), it set me back in a lot of ways.
Using common sense is teh win.
Otherwise: I rarely have troubles anymore. As a younger person (17), most of my peers do not believe in God, or do not shove their religions down my throat. I like it. There will always be fanatics, though, for everything. *shrugs*
1) Will speaking out cause more trouble than it is worth? (Yes, I was the one who killed your cat, sorry)
2) Are you speaking out to cause pain? (I didn't just kill your cat by accident, I meant to do it and used a sharp pointy stick)
3) Are you ready to deal with the results of speaking out? (Why am I getting this court summons on a charge of cruelty to animals?)
4) Does keeping silent save you grief? (When I find out who killed my cat I'm going to kill them!!!)
5) Are you speaking out for your own selfish reasons and not considering the way others will feel once you speak out? (Your cat is dead? I always hated your cat.)
Many people falsely believe that baring their soul and telling someone the truth is a good thing. You know what? There are some confessions that we simply do not want to hear. Do you really want to hear (years later) that your spouse was part of a big gang bang the night before your wedding, the star of the event so to speak? That may be a bit extreme but if your family considers religion to be a focal point of family life telling them that you do not believe in god is likely to cause problems.
When your family hears this (if they are very religious) they may interpret this as an attack on them or a failing of them as a parent. You are much better off keeping silent or addressing the issue slowly by asking them about certain scriptures that you have a problem with. At least until you gain your independence from the family unit.
Check out the linked website, kind of funny but grotesque in places. I personally think the invisible pink unicorn is a better atheist deity.
Everyone here covered the advice of telling your folks. Tell us how it went and wait after Christmas.