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New Anime, oh noes
So my friend Karl and I just spent the evening watching a bunch of new anime. This ranged from "hmmm, this is slightly tolerable" to "ok, so on the count of three we both pull the trigger." So I'll now go through very briefly the pain we've just endured.
Rosario + Vampire
Ok, so there's a high school guy who gets into a school for monsters only. He meets a bubbly girl who's a vampire, she sucks his blood cause it smells good. Now this vampire chick, she's wearing an enormous cross that seals away most of her awesomeness, cause when it comes off her boobs get bigger (no joke) and she becomes the most powerful person in the world. But what this show is really about is panty shots! Panties everywhere! I've never seen so many panty shots, seriously it's got to be a record of some kind.
H2O footprints in the sand
Blind high/middle school guy surrounded by girls. But for such a show, the girls actually have realisticly long skirts, like they're actually below their knees. He manages to "accidentally" feel up two girls in the course of the first episode, one girl twice. And then there's this girl who claims to be a spirit who keeps ambushing him. And there's a this girl who's just angry at everything who, despite everyone telling him to leave her the fuck alone, the main character has to follow and generally pester with his niceness. So I really don't know where it's going, could be tolerable, I want to watch another episode.
Ikoku Irokoi Romantan
So this anime opens on a boat, there's mafia. If there's one thing I know about anime it's that Mafia + confined space = crazy blood sped. Only instead there's going to be a wedding, but the bride and groom passionately hate each other. The groom meets this italian dude before the wedding that tells him he's hot.......oooook. The wedding happens, bride and groom still hate each other. Bride kicks groom out who goes to bar to get drunk as most goes would. There's another guy who was in love of with the bride, sees the dude at the bar. He thinks to himself "oh, it's their wedding night and he's in the bar, things must be bad, I'm gonna go get with his wife!" Or at least that's what he should have done, what he actually thought is, "I'm going to walk over there and give him such a taunting!" So there's taunting and then a fight is about to start and italian dude shows up again to help the groom. Ummmm, then the fight happens and this is a point where there's a panty shot of the groom! I really should have hit close here, but I continued. They go back to the bar and start drinking, and then the italian guy starts making passes at the groom. They go back to italian guys room and then the yaoi starts.
The following is a dramatic reconstruction of the conversation between Karl and I when this show officially went yaoi
Me: OH GOD!
Karl: Ahhhh, turn it off!
Me: *tap the right arrow hoping this is a short scene and will be able to skip over it. The yaoi is the rest of the episode and what we actually get is a fast motion slide show of yaoi scenes!
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Karl: GEORGE, TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!!!!
Me: I can't, ALT+F4 isn't working!
*I hit F to un-fullscreen and grab the mouse, fractically trying to find and hit the X. Never has it been so hard to close a window, but I finally killed it.
Karl: QUICK, DO SOMETHING MANLY!
Me: *I hand him the shotgun next to my bed and I grab my rifle.
Karl: Suicide? That's emo, not manly.
Me: No, let's go kill something.
Right, so don't download that one. And does anyone know a good linux program for secure file deletes? I next to erase all traces of this anime from my HD.
Koharubiyori
Otaku guy buys girl robot maid, only she just acts like a normal girl rather than a robot. Honestly we didn't watch it, we just flipped through it, seems pretty dumb. The only reason we even briefly watched this is cause it opened with a lingerie shot, which we needed after Ikoku Irokoi.
Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
There's a guy and girl and they seem to be in a relationship, I really see no plot, didn't watch more than a minute.
Armored Troops Votoms - Pailsen Files
The invasion of normandy, BUT WITH ROBOTS! MANLYNESS! This show could be good, but we were honestly too jaded to really read the subtitles.
Kodomo no Jikan
Lolis
Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro
demons and private eyes, yeah, just stupid.
Mokke
Two girls, and a lot of boring. We skipped right to the climax of the episode and said, "ok, you have two minutes to wow us, go!" and it fell on its face.
Macross Frontier
Only Macross can combine mechas, jets, and pop stars! If you're a fan of Macross stuff, this is decent.
So the only decent, and by that I mean tolerable and maybe slightly entertaining anime so far is the vampire chick's panties, the blind guy and his harem, robots and macross robots. I just want more Baccano.
Rosario + Vampire
Ok, so there's a high school guy who gets into a school for monsters only. He meets a bubbly girl who's a vampire, she sucks his blood cause it smells good. Now this vampire chick, she's wearing an enormous cross that seals away most of her awesomeness, cause when it comes off her boobs get bigger (no joke) and she becomes the most powerful person in the world. But what this show is really about is panty shots! Panties everywhere! I've never seen so many panty shots, seriously it's got to be a record of some kind.
H2O footprints in the sand
Blind high/middle school guy surrounded by girls. But for such a show, the girls actually have realisticly long skirts, like they're actually below their knees. He manages to "accidentally" feel up two girls in the course of the first episode, one girl twice. And then there's this girl who claims to be a spirit who keeps ambushing him. And there's a this girl who's just angry at everything who, despite everyone telling him to leave her the fuck alone, the main character has to follow and generally pester with his niceness. So I really don't know where it's going, could be tolerable, I want to watch another episode.
Ikoku Irokoi Romantan
So this anime opens on a boat, there's mafia. If there's one thing I know about anime it's that Mafia + confined space = crazy blood sped. Only instead there's going to be a wedding, but the bride and groom passionately hate each other. The groom meets this italian dude before the wedding that tells him he's hot.......oooook. The wedding happens, bride and groom still hate each other. Bride kicks groom out who goes to bar to get drunk as most goes would. There's another guy who was in love of with the bride, sees the dude at the bar. He thinks to himself "oh, it's their wedding night and he's in the bar, things must be bad, I'm gonna go get with his wife!" Or at least that's what he should have done, what he actually thought is, "I'm going to walk over there and give him such a taunting!" So there's taunting and then a fight is about to start and italian dude shows up again to help the groom. Ummmm, then the fight happens and this is a point where there's a panty shot of the groom! I really should have hit close here, but I continued. They go back to the bar and start drinking, and then the italian guy starts making passes at the groom. They go back to italian guys room and then the yaoi starts.
The following is a dramatic reconstruction of the conversation between Karl and I when this show officially went yaoi
Me: OH GOD!
Karl: Ahhhh, turn it off!
Me: *tap the right arrow hoping this is a short scene and will be able to skip over it. The yaoi is the rest of the episode and what we actually get is a fast motion slide show of yaoi scenes!
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Karl: GEORGE, TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!!!!
Me: I can't, ALT+F4 isn't working!
*I hit F to un-fullscreen and grab the mouse, fractically trying to find and hit the X. Never has it been so hard to close a window, but I finally killed it.
Karl: QUICK, DO SOMETHING MANLY!
Me: *I hand him the shotgun next to my bed and I grab my rifle.
Karl: Suicide? That's emo, not manly.
Me: No, let's go kill something.
Right, so don't download that one. And does anyone know a good linux program for secure file deletes? I next to erase all traces of this anime from my HD.
Koharubiyori
Otaku guy buys girl robot maid, only she just acts like a normal girl rather than a robot. Honestly we didn't watch it, we just flipped through it, seems pretty dumb. The only reason we even briefly watched this is cause it opened with a lingerie shot, which we needed after Ikoku Irokoi.
Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
There's a guy and girl and they seem to be in a relationship, I really see no plot, didn't watch more than a minute.
Armored Troops Votoms - Pailsen Files
The invasion of normandy, BUT WITH ROBOTS! MANLYNESS! This show could be good, but we were honestly too jaded to really read the subtitles.
Kodomo no Jikan
Lolis
Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro
demons and private eyes, yeah, just stupid.
Mokke
Two girls, and a lot of boring. We skipped right to the climax of the episode and said, "ok, you have two minutes to wow us, go!" and it fell on its face.
Macross Frontier
Only Macross can combine mechas, jets, and pop stars! If you're a fan of Macross stuff, this is decent.
So the only decent, and by that I mean tolerable and maybe slightly entertaining anime so far is the vampire chick's panties, the blind guy and his harem, robots and macross robots. I just want more Baccano.
Comments
Why do I ask? Well, I seriously doubt any sane person would watch Kodomo no Jikan expecting anything but pain and terrible pedophilia.
Perhaps you should modify your ritual. Check what's coming out with an air date calender and watch the trailers that come out. It'll save you from future Ikoku Irokoi Romantan anime.
If you hadn't said you just grabbed them by random, I'd say you went for "Badass" and "boobs" as search terms XD When's that?
And I haven't read the manga either, so I'd like to see this TV series as a way of telling me whether I'd actually like to read it or if it's just fun to hear about as a concept.
2. Why would you even consider watching another episode?
This review of an entirely different show should convince you to stay away from shows with first episodes like that. They are all the same, and they are all crap.
That story about the surprise yaoi show reminded me of the time I downloaded episode 1 of this show I'd never heard of.
That show was Loveless.
Never again.
Persona - Trinity Soul
I had high hopes for this show in that I had expectations at all. The show was pretty lack luster, kinda like a robot fighting show only they fight with what I can only guess are souls. On the one hand we have the police chief who goes around doing stuff and it's neat, but on the other hand we have his two younger brothers who do nothing at all. I feel less compelled to watch the next episode of this than I do Foot prints in the Sand.
Spice and Wolf
So wolf, god, thing chooses a guy to help her get to the north. It's a odd pairing, traveling adventure show. While premise is eh, the story telling and pacing are actually very good and I liked the show. Doubt it's going to turn into anything spectacular, but we'll see.
True Tears
The name says it all, I cryed at how slow things moved, will not watch.
Spice and Wolf is also a fine series.
Also, I have watched Myself; Yourself. Got a message that it was fully subbed, thus downloaded and watched the first episode, and then just marathonned it. Best parts, rock concert in the opener (does not come up in the series at all, sadly), good opener song, fits very well with the anime, and the Wakatsuki twins. The story is about Sana who returns to his hometown after 5 years living in Tokyo. Through the episode he meets his old friends from before he moved away and they just pick up their friendship again. And then we, the watchers, just follow their daily lives.
Main character Sana (main male character) is meh. Hanaka (main female character) is also meh. Has a huuuuuge jealousy problem (cupsize tied with Asami). Aoi is stupid. She's good for cooking, nothing else. It's basically the only thing she does that has some effect in the episodes (biggest cupsize, highest voice, worst personality and oldest of the group of friends (only teacher is older)). Shuri/Syuri, awesome. Pretty central character. Female half of the Wakatsuki twins (smallest cupsize). Syusuke, awesome. Darned guy made me get tears in my eyes. But that was because it was a catching scene and he cried too! Male half of the Wakatsuki twins. Hinako, 10 year old girl that we meet because Syusuke 'saves' her from some bullies. Very fun character, claims she's a grown up, also acts that way. Is the source of two pedophile jokes with Sana as the victim. Has a lower voice than Aoi! Also, has no cupsize. Yuzuki, teacher, decent character. Supporting role, but has more depth than Aoi (cupsize tied I think with Hanaka and Asami). Asami, decent character personality wise, I however don't like her personality, and that gets worse at a point (cupsize tied with Hanaka and Yuzuki).
Now, you might wonder, why the fuck does he mention the relative cupsizes of these female characters? I have a theory. The bigger the cupsize the flatter the character is. It's a decent anime. Touching on a few moments, none which don't include the Wakatsuki twins. An anime for when you are bored and have absolutely nothing to do or watch. Yes, I know I have stuff unwatched already, but I just wanted to try the first episode, the darned concert in the opener lured me in, hoping it would be in one of the episodes, then I just sticked till the end, even though Hanaka's drama and Sana's drama is just blech. Darned emo's.
(NOTE: Do not read the Wikipedia article. It spoils a lot imo without warning. Also: "In an anime-original plot, ..." apparently it has an original plot twist for an anime)
Also prodded something Sayanora Sensei (Mr. Despair). Watched the first ep, like the teacher, DO NOT LIKE THE OTHER MAIN CHARACTER! Gah! Trying to make yourself taller. -_______- Stupid, dumb, flat, ditz, hyper, hopeless. She's all that from what I gather from the first episode. And there's a second season running. Damn it, teacher cool: "OMG I MUST DIE! *hangs self*" Mocking emo's. Female lead is just horrible and ruins the will to watch the teacher emo'ing.
The scene with the psychologist and Kimori is hilarious.