Meeting Your Doppelganger! Comic Script.

gomidog

Doppelganger Comic Script

This was brought up by a thread a few weeks ago about meeting your double. I thought I should share one of my current projects.

This is the comic I am working on for the next Tokyopop contest, and I'm about halfway done with it right now. I took my notes and typed them up in a coherent script format for you all to critique. Twenty Pages isn't enough! *sigh*
Since I both write and draw my own comics, I'm more comfortable working off of screenplay format than comic script format. I story-board it after, and thus I don't need panel numbers. (If someone else were writing or drawing that's another story.)

Since my weakest point is dialog, I need to know if there are any lines that suck, and if they suck, how they suck. Also, if this was a film, there would be NO VOICE OVER and it would be a lot less rushed. (20 pages! I need more! Even just four more would be okay!)

La Petit Mort

True, you know, a lot of the dialog sounds forced. Maybe you can try saying each spoken line, checking them for "clunkiness" and such, other wise it's a good story.

How did they get a new apartment?

What am I saying? I work with sound, not words. XD

...

Awesome!

With the exception of two typos ('horse' instead of 'hoarse', 'hanging' instead of 'handing') I see no problem. Though I got distracted halfway through and stopped enacting the script after that. Great stuff

I have one question though. Does Jill have long hair?

Sail

Hehe, it's funny.

Zeehat

That was definitely worth the read.

Bronzdragon

The link does not work anymore

Zeehat

The link does not work anymore

Yes it does, I just tried it. Check your .pdf reader.