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Please delete this topic.

NecroNecro
edited July 2008 in Everything Else
Post deleted to avoid claims of plagiarism.

Comments

  • onewildonewild
    Something I need to know before I comment on it for you.
    1) What year (grade) is this for?
    2)Is it for homework that will count towards your final grade?
  • ZeehatZeehat
    edited July 2008
    No offense, but that is an essay? Isn't it a bit lacking in the length department? Perhaps it would serve better to connect all the paragraphs into one unified, coherent, paragraph.

    Also, add in transitional words and idea hooks. Make it pop-out to the reader more, instead of just being: point 1. point 2. point 3. If you get what I mean.
    Post edited by Zeehat on
  • ZeehatZeehat
    By January 1933 6, 100,00
    And fix this.
  • IlmarinenIlmarinen
    The Nazi party would also have gone bankrupt had they not been saved by Paul Von Hindenburg a businessman who owned a media firm.
    Von Hindenburg was an war hero, even if he was a businessman(I don't know anything about it), this would be more important.
  • NecroNecro
    Something I need to know before I comment on it for you.
    1) What year (grade) is this for?
    2)Is it for homework that will count towards your final grade?
    9th grade and yes it will count towards my final grade.
    No offense, but that is anessay? Isn't it a bit lacking in the length department? Perhaps it would serve better to connect all the paragraphs into one unified, coherent, paragraph.

    Also, add in transitional words and idea hooks. Make it pop-out to the reader more, instead of just being: point 1. point 2. point 3. If you get what I mean.
    I wanted to do that but the techer says we he to give him multiple paragraphs and not one big one.It's 400 words which is allright for and o'level student.
  • ZeehatZeehat
    I wanted to do that but the techer says we he to give him multiple paragraphs and not one big one.It's 400 words which is allright for and o'level student.
    Nevertheless, connect the paragraphs accordingly. Make it flow better. On the upside, it's alright for a ninth grade paper.
  • Magnum_OpusMagnum_Opus
    I'm pretty sure their inflation was because they thought printing more money would fix the problem.
  • onewildonewild
    Ok then so a quick search on google tells me that 9th Grade is the same as our Year 10 and also makes me think that I wish I had done History in the US if that counts as an essay at that level.
    One thing that you should really mention on this subject is that the German economy, after the hyperinflation of the early-mid 1920s heavily relied on US money (Dawes plan been one example) hence the reason why Germany was affected so hard by the Wall Street Crash and the depression.
    Which is sort of what you have written in the third paragraph but not quite.
    Also I'm going to ask if you are allowed to get away with using the word 'I' in an essay because it's something that we were taught not to do around this time and even if you are I think it's time that you learned to write an essay without doing it as this will help you in future essay writing subjects.
  • Jain7thJain7th
    I'm pretty sure their inflation was because they thought printing more money would fix the problem.
    They printed more to be able to pay the reparations.

    Maybe add or use National Socialist German Workers' Party instead of Nazi Party.
    Mass unemployment gave the Nazis a fertile ground to grow on and to get more followers. People were desperate and Adolf Hitler offered them easy solutions.
  • YoshoKatanaYoshoKatana
    Hey, Necro, are you in Singapore? You mentioned O Levels (though they have them in Hong Kong as well). I remember when my girlfriend was studying for her O Level Exams, it was madness.

    As for the essay, I would recommend transitions, so your paper flows better. Also, run it through a grammar / spelling check, as there are a few errors. Like Onewild, I worry that you might not get away with using "I" in a formal paper.
  • Magnum_OpusMagnum_Opus
    I'm pretty sure their inflation was because they thought printing more money would fix the problem.
    They printed more to be able to pay the reparations.

    Maybe add or use National Socialist German Workers' Party instead of Nazi Party.
    Mass unemployment gave the Nazis a fertile ground to grow on and to get more followers. People were desperate and Adolf Hitler offered them easy solutions.
    That doesn't change the fact that the inflation was caused by them overprinting their currency. They should have known that there wouldn't be a quick fix to the reparations by printing more money as it seems they tried to do.
  • NecroNecro
    Hey, Necro, are you in Singapore? You mentionedO Levels(though they have them in Hong Kong as well). I remember when my girlfriend was studying for her O Level Exams, it was madness.

    As for the essay, I would recommend transitions, so your paper flows better. Also, run it through a grammar / spelling check, as there are a few errors. Like Onewild, I worry that you might not get away with using "I" in a formal paper.
    yeah I am in Singapore and I have my O'levels next year and the teacher makes us use "I" inm the conclusion and introductions.
  • IlmarinenIlmarinen
    I'm pretty sure their inflation was because they thought printing more money would fix the problem.
    They printed more to be able to pay the reparations.

    Maybe add or use National Socialist German Workers' Party instead of Nazi Party.
    Mass unemployment gave the Nazis a fertile ground to grow on and to get more followers. People were desperate and Adolf Hitler offered them easy solutions.
    That doesn't change the fact that the inflation was caused by them overprinting their currency. They should have known that there wouldn't be a quick fix to the reparations by printing more money as it seems they tried to do.
    They did know that it wouldn't be a quick fix. They purposely devalued the currency to make a point to the French, who had been pressuring them.
  • onewildonewild
    Hey, Necro, are you in Singapore? You mentionedO Levels(though they have them in Hong Kong as well). I remember when my girlfriend was studying for her O Level Exams, it was madness.

    As for the essay, I would recommend transitions, so your paper flows better. Also, run it through a grammar / spelling check, as there are a few errors. Like Onewild, I worry that you might not get away with using "I" in a formal paper.
    yeah I am in Singapore and I have my O'levels next year and the teacher makes us use "I" inm the conclusion and introductions.
    Then your teacher sucks.
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