I've been trying for a while to get the iPhone Remote application to work while being connected to my college's wireless network. Duke makes us register each network device based on its MAC address, and after a few hours of tinkering with network settings through the web interface, I have configured to get both my iPhone and my computer to connect to the same subnet on the Duke network, with the same router/default gateway address.
In iTunes, I am able to share my music library and view and play music from other's libraries, which leads me to believe that the Bonjour service is working properly. For some reason, though, my iPhone isn't being seen as a remote (iTunes is set to look for remotes).
The Remote app works fine on my home network with a regular old linksys router, but doesn't work here. Any ideas?
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If you can, it would be nice to confirm whether or not your router at home has UPnP enabled. In the meantime, I'm going to read up on how Bonjour works to see if I can help ^_^.