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Grenade Cover Design Crit.

gomidoggomidog
edited January 2009 in Art!
Omnutia asked me to sketch an idea for a cover of a indy magazine called Grenade.


image

Here is my sketch. Good Game Grenade.

What ya got for me?
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Comments

  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    What ya got for me?
    She didn't pull the pin before she threw it. It won't asplode.
  • gomidoggomidog
    Indeed, you are right!

    However, this is just a sketch/mock up, so when I actually draw the grenade, I can just not draw the pin.
  • RochelleRochelle
    She didn't pull the pin before she threw it. It won't asplode.
    Maybe she's playing "toss the grenade", or perhaps she's trying to hurt someone by hitting them in the head with the grenade. :P
  • FunfetusFunfetus
    I'm assuming that the grenade photo is a placeholder -- if it's not, I'd rethink that. But otherwise, it looks really good. The only thing I'd suggest is bringing the rear arm out from behind her body, to make a stronger silhouette. I would probably push the pose a little more to give more oomph to the throw, but it's really fine as it is.
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    edited January 2009
    The character design is great; I would, however, like to see a few more visible tattoos. With a name like "Grenade," you've set up a name that's very hard-hitting, and that could be reinforced by a few more obvious eye catches like that. Plus, I like little details like tattoos; they can serve to reinforce the themes of the magazine, and provide the reader with an idea of what's to come.
    Post edited by TheWhaleShark on
  • ......
    Maybe she's playing "toss the grenade", or perhaps she's trying to hurt someone by hitting them in the head with the grenade. :P
    That could be done with or without pin. Without pin it would be a nice insult to injury. Eh, insult to explosion.

    Nice drawing Gomily, with the exception of the grenade. She should be careful to not trip. ;)
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited January 2009
    I am now going to print that out and stick it next to the plan I am working on. Your Skills and motivation put me to shame.
    My guess is: Grenade into mouth followed by drop kick to the chest while she pulls the pin out. Target is thrown off a building by the kick, making a safe distance.

    Question: What do people think would be a good colour for the grenade?

    @Gomidog: Note about the eye: Is it glowing white and looking down or blue and looking up?
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • RochelleRochelle
    The character design is great; I would, however, like to see a few more visible tattoos.
    Indeed, however I'm digging the bunny skull tattoo.
  • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
    The character design is great; I would, however, like to see a few more visible tattoos.
    Indeed, however I'm digging the bunny skull tattoo.
    Oh, I love the bunny skull. That's why I want Emily to come up with a few more unique designs. That would help drive home the in-your-face, independent attitude that the magazine (I presume) hopes to convey.
  • MrRobotoMrRoboto
    edited January 2009
    Horizontal text on the title, it may sound cliche, but that's the way it is, easier to read, and it's where the reader expects it to be, all magazines have their title horizontal and on the top for a reason, even most Japanese and Chinese magazines that have all the text aligned vertically have their title horizontal on the top, even the old punk zines have the title that way, or across the page. Now, some design magazines have other types of layouts, but that's another demographic. I also believe that placing the title horizontally behind the grenade will add to the depth of the drawing.

    It's not reading well everything points to a corner, and a bad one because you want the attention on the top right where the grenade is.
    image

    It's also lacking a bg to fill in all that negative space(I'm not saying that its something bad) you got there, but since its just a sketch, it probably means that later there will be one there.

    The pose is also kinda off, dunno if its because she's a lefty or it just doesn't look like she is putting that much effort into it
    Post edited by MrRoboto on
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited January 2009
    Way ahead of ya. I should have picked a layout before asking Emily but it works as an example.
    image
    The detour through the crotch is caused by the bunny skull tattoo.

    The main feature will occupy the bottom left with lesser features going up. No wait that doesn't work. That would mean people would have to read upwards. Needs to move some focus away from the picture's corner.

    No wait, I'm just being an idiot. I should have moved it all to the top. Don't mind me.
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • MrRobotoMrRoboto
    edited January 2009
    I was thinking more like this but with the pose tweaked
    image
    Post edited by MrRoboto on
  • Victor FrostVictor Frost
    I like the idea of the grenade being in front of "grenade". It really does add more depth to the cover.
  • MankoonMankoon
    edited January 2009
    I like what you did there, Mr.Roboto. I was going to suggest that the grenade should go more to the right too.
    Post edited by Mankoon on
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited January 2009
    We seem to have the same idea on this one (hopefully this should be an indication I'm not screwing it up.)
    image
    This magazine will probably be composed of a lot of small features.
    Might cut it down, MrRobo's seems much easier to understand.
    Could just leave the cover very minimalist.
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • FunfetusFunfetus
    Is this going to be a print magazine? If so...why?
  • MankoonMankoon
    edited January 2009
    I have a crit for you, Em! I added some structural lines and have a few suggestions. Since the top torso is tilted down, her chest needs to be representing that. I suggest that the leg on our right be higher and a bit foreshortened. Before both knees were lined up almost. Having the knees on different levels is more dynamic. I moved the bottom of the other leg inward to balance her out a bit. Lastly, you could put that pin in her mouth! Might be cool. Hope this helps and I can't wait to see you do more on it!
    image
    Post edited by Mankoon on
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited January 2009
    Is this going to be a print magazine? If so...why?
    You/people still buy comics, don't you/they?
    Not quite sure how people are going to be getting this. Print is a maybe.
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • ......
    You/people still buy comics, don't you/they?
    Not quite sure how people are going to be getting this. Print is a maybe.
    But a manga/comic is something different from a magazine.
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    I'll explain it when I've got it worked out.
  • FunfetusFunfetus
    edited January 2009
    Is this going to be a print magazine? If so...why?
    You/people still buy comics, don't you/they?
    Not quite sure how people are going to be getting this. Print is a maybe.
    I only buy graphic novels/TPBs, and that's a bit different because it's visual art, which looks better on the page than it does on the screen. Even e-Readers are going to take a while to catch up for comics/graphic novel purposes, because none of them come anywhere near the resolution that you need to comfortably read full-page comics.

    Another point is that comics/graphic novels are not as time-dependent as magazines and newspapers. A graphic novel is still good a month (or a decade) later -- newspapers and current events-based magazines, not so much. That's why the web wins so hard on that front.

    Regardless, all print media is shrinking, and magazines (and newspapers especially) are getting hit REALLY hard. I think the web will give you much better distribution at a much lower cost. However, I am certainly no economist.
    Post edited by Funfetus on
  • fooflyfoofly
    edited January 2009
    image

    I've just slightly adjusted Mankoon's adjustment with some smaller detail on the hair. As it's a dynamic perhaps making the point's of her hair point in the direction of action line along the arm has more of the effect head also being swung in along with the torso. Also I've re adjusted the eye as I don't think the angle was right, but I think that maybe just me. ;)
    Post edited by foofly on
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited January 2009
    This is somewhat of a quandary (state of being confused or doubtful). Now, more than ever there is a market for people wanting to read and read about good comics and there is certainly enough capable talent to fill demand (or at least some of it) but getting a link between artists and consumers requires a lot of effort on both ends. What I want to create is something that makes the comic selling and comic buying so easy as to rapidly increase the number of people making and reading comics. Any ideas on how I do so?

    I feel we're sort of in this between time where, it will be a couple of years before e-readers are cheap enough, widely used and can be used for reading comics. Reading comics on a computer isn't ideal but people do read scans so maybe trying to get a foot in the door with some kind of Steam for comics might be an idea. While getting into print may be a bad idea, Otaku USA launched shortly before the big downturn in print and they're doing well out of it (hopefully) by offering something worth reading.

    Idea off the top of my head: Something like the comic book ordering service Scott uses where you can read a chapter or two from a comic and the site lists all the upcoming comics being printed by independents so you can order ahead for really cheap comics. How's that? Any good?
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    FMP 090110 - Grenade Indie Comics
    I just recorded a quick podcast to give you all a rough idea of what I'm trying to achieve and how think I might be able to do it. Give it a listen and send any feedback you might have my way.
  • AndrewAndrew
    Needz moar Tank Girl.
  • gomidoggomidog
    @ Mankoon: Thanks so much. That's just the kind of crit I was looking for. That's super helpful. (I like when people draw on my stuff to explain. It's really easy to understand the corrections, then.)

    Thanks everybody!
    Needz moar Tank Girl.
    YES!
  • FunfetusFunfetus
    edited January 2009
    (I like when people draw on my stuff to explain. It's really easy to understand the corrections, then.)
    In that case, in the event that my suggestion on silhouette wasn't clear enough:
    image
    See how the rear arm extending gives you a more readable silhouette? I think it also gives a slightly more forceful pose.
    Post edited by Funfetus on
  • FunfetusFunfetus
    edited January 2009
    I just recorded a quick podcast to give you all a rough idea of what I'm trying to achieve and how think I might be able to do it. Give it a listen and send any feedback you might have my way.
    I just listened. You sure talk funny. :)

    Anyway -- it seems like in a lot of ways, your plan would be duplicating functionality that's already out there on various sites. Various sites that, in my opinion, don't seem to be working very well at attracting new people to comics. The main question that occurs to me is this: How do you plan to get people who aren't already interested in comics to come to this site?

    It's sort of like how the direct market (among other factors) is strangling "mainstream" comics . Comics used to be available at every newsstand. Then the comic shops showed up, Diamond took over, and now comics (monthlies, at least) are available exclusively at comics shops. Who goes to a comic shop if they're not already interested in comics? And even if they are interested, a lot of people just don't have the guts to venture into the scary nerd-dungeon with yellowed Judge Dredd posters from 1987 hanging in the window, and where, to quote someone on the Around Comics podcast, you feel like you're gonna get raped when you walk in? How do they get interested in comics in the first place, when they're no longer available at the magazine rack, where your mom would buy you one to shut you up when you were 10 and along for the grocery shopping? As the comics community has become more and more insular, the demographic that's still buying them is aging, dying off, and generally disappearing. Very few new fans are coming in. When I was a kid, there were seven comic shops within a five minute drive, four of which I could walk to. Now there's one. Oh man, I'm rambling -- this stuff isn't all necessarily relevant, is it?

    Anyway, my point is, if you want to bring people into comics, you have to reach out to people who aren't already into comics. Instead of creating more comics-based sites that will largely only attract comics people, how about getting in touch with your local alternative weekly newspaper, or some cool, general-interest websites or blogs, and offer to write a comics column for them? Or something like that. This is who the new readers will be. Regular people who just haven't heard that there are comics they might like, and they aren't going to go out of their way to find out.

    In closing: the American mainstream comics market can go ahead and die -- it's well on its way, and the companies aren't doing much to change it. But the indie parts of the industry (and how perverse is the American comics industry that buff dudes in spandex with laser powers are "mainstream" and books about regular people and relationships are "indie"?) have to get their shit straight and start reaching out to the next generation of readers, who don't even know we're here.
    Post edited by Funfetus on
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    One idea of how to do it would be to try and squeeze in beside the manga section which bring a lot of people into book shops. If we were to use the magazine idea, Borders would be the place to be.
    If it was internet based (assume any plan will involve a website), trying to get people to buy comics that can be shared. In the same way everyone shares their copy of Yotsuba with all the family (or they should be doing).
    I'll probably be discussing this in the Geekchat, I'll try and post the timecodes.
  • MankoonMankoon
    @gomi: No problem and anytime!
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