IMHO the stereotypical southern friendliness is just fake. You can say friendly things and act in a polite manner all you want, but you're just concealing the true feelings in your heart. When people act so phonily friendly, I tend to assume that they are hateful inside. New Yorkers aren't mean, hateful, or rude. They're just honest. I would much rather live with real honest people than a bunch of people who are pretending.
Why are you assuming that their politeness is fake? That is your bias, not necessarily their nature. You are just as bad as people that would say all Northern people are rude.
Anyone that was upset that you had to leave was being rude themselves.
That's really my beef with the Southern friendliness thing.
For example, we were sitting around having an in-depth discussion about advanced food safety after the workshop was out, and someone overheard and "politely" joined in. We had to really slow down (and dumb down) the conversation to let them in on it. We didn't say no because we didn't want to seem rude, but I think it's highly impolite to join in on a conversation like that where you don't have anything to contribute and force everyone else to slow down.
For me, the politeness seems to occasionally be strangely applied; it's like I have to abide by your rules, irrespective of my circumstance. It wasn't all the time, but it was just enough to make me notice. In those cases, I'll take the cold New Yorker ignoring me, rather than the Southerner who makes me slow down to his pace.
But then again, I also appreciated having very friendly and chatty waiters and waitresses. They usually have a lot to say, and they love to say it. If I'm not actually in a rush, that's a good place to slow down and chat.
It's just a very different pace, really. It's unwound by default, whereas New York is wound by default. I prefer the wound-up pace, but I can see the attraction to the unwound pace.
I am getting annoyed with this being dubbed the "Southern" politeness issue. What about British people and other foreign cultures that are noted for their politeness? I really think some of this issue is born of some underlying bias against or willful misunderstanding of Southern people.
EDIT: Also, Pete, you live in Albany, not NYC. Albany isn't exactly a wound and constantly bustling metropolis.
What about British people and other foreign cultures that are noted for their politeness?
I guess the perception is that while the British are very polite, they do not go out of their way to engage you if you're clearly not interested.
I really think some of this issue is born of some underlying bias against or willful misunderstanding of Southern people.
I've never really run into anyone else who did the whole "stop a stranger on the street to chat" thing except in the south. I occasionally converse (briefly) with random people on the street, or with people I already know on the street, but no one ever engages me despite all body language indications to the contrary. When I was in Alabama, they did.
Southern people won't stop someone in the street to chat unless they need specific information or you are meandering past and obviously not in a hurry. They simply nod, smile, or say hello as they pass by. I think you have a skewed understanding of the original topic. Also, if someone is uninterested in engaging in a conversation, it is completely polite to say "Excuse me, I must be off. Have a nice day!"
Seriously, I totally just trolled you, "crazy" Southerner.
I think we have been down this road before. I think everything that was to be said on this topic has been said in the other thread. Different cultures of the North and South in regards to friendliness with strangers: not better, it's not worse, it's just different.
They simply nod, smile, or say hello as they pass by. I think you have a skewed understanding of the original topic.
If that's the root issue, then I once again put forth that it's physically impossible in the majority of my interactions with people here simply by their sheer number. I easily passed over a thousand people in the street on my way to lunch, even if I only count the people on my side of the street. ^_~ I walked at about 4.5 miles an hour, as I had to be back at the office for a meeting and could not be delayed. I made my trip and returned in 41 minutes.
Seriously, I totally just trolled you, "crazy" Southerner. I think we have been down this road before. I think everything that was to be said on this topic has been said in the other thread. Different cultures of the North and South in regards to friendliness with strangers: not better, it's not worse, it's just different.
Thanks, Emily. That is why I replied with a "Whatever." in the first place. I really do not think all Northerners are rude, or that all Southerners are all that polite. I am, however, disgusted with snobbery.
They simply nod, smile, or say hello as they pass by. I think you have a skewed understanding of the original topic.
If that's the root issue, then I once again put forth that it's physically impossible in the majority of my interactions with people here simply by their sheer number. I easily passed over a thousand people in the street on my way to lunch, even if I only count the people on my side of the street. ^_~ I walked at about 4.5 miles an hour, as I had to be back at the office for a meeting and could not be delayed. I made my trip and returned in 41 minutes.
And I previously conceded that this was true as you conceded that there are places (at work, in shops, walking around Beacon) where that is not the case. We had this conversation.
I am getting annoyed with this being dubbed the "Southern" politeness issue. What about British people and other foreign cultures that are noted for their politeness? I really think some of this issue is born of some underlying bias against or willful misunderstanding of Southern people.
EDIT: Also, Pete, you live in Albany, not NYC. Albany isn't exactly a wound and constantly bustling metropolis.
Well, Albany is a hell of a lot more bustling than Auburn, Alabama, I can tell you that much. :P
And as I said, it's more of a subtle difference in pace. In Albany, and the Capital District, I have a multitude of options available to me in terms of stimulating activities. In eastern central Alabama, those options are few to nonexistent. Those options that do exist aren't as well executed as those up here, at least in Auburn. So, because there's less external stimulation, there's less overall external activity. People are generally left to their own devices, and so the pace is slowed. Albany is also a lot busier than you think, particularly when it's warm.
Also, Alabama is the deep south, and Auburn particularly so. It's a different sort of South than the Carolinas or Florida. A lot of places that I went really exhibited every Southern stereotype - not necessarily to an extreme degree, but they were exhibited. If you go to a lot of
It's very telling when a city that has less than half the population of Albany has twice as many churches - and those are just the Baptist ones.
As I said, it's just very different. The differences are subtle but pervasive, which really makes a diehard Northerner like myself feel out of place.
I am sure Albany is busier and bigger than a city half its size. :P I was just putting your "wound-up" pace in perspective.
New York City it is not, this is true. :P Auburn, however, has one brewpub, and it stopped brewing beer two weeks ago, because the students left and everything slowed down. You know things move slowly when a brewery doesn't brew. :P
One of the lesser joys in life is to have the exact same argument with the same person more than once. ^_~
Joys? Frustrations more like. It really makes one feel like they make no progression with relationships and leave no lasting impression on friends' thoughts on a given subject in which an accord was previously struck.
One of the lesser joys in life is to have the exact same argument with the same person more than once. ^_~
Joys? Frustrations more like.
I will agree that it is definitely a "lesser" joy, and by that I mean not very much of a joy at all. It makes me feel slightly aggravated, like I'm wasting my time going over something again. The only good part is when you bring a new factor to a similar argument that can be used to convince the other party of your point. In this particular case, didn't we figure that these differences arose partly from the influences of environment and that they were equally valid methods of interacting socially? That the greetings and such were a sort of "when in Rome" scenario? Oh, well.
One of the lesser joys in life is to have the exact same argument with the same person more than once. ^_~
Joys? Frustrations more like.
I will agree that it is definitely a "lesser" joy, and by that I mean not very much of a joy at all. It makes me feel slightly aggravated, like I'm wasting my time going over something again. The only good part is when you bring a new factor to a similar argument that can be used to convince the other party of your point. In this particular case, didn't we figure that these differences arose partly from the influences of environment and that they were equally valid methods of interacting socially? That the greetings and such were a sort of "when in Rome" scenario? Oh, well.
I think we can all agree on one thing: sweet tea is way too goddamn sweet.
I will agree that it is definitely a "lesser" joy, and by that I mean not very much of a joy at all. It makes me feel slightly aggravated, like I'm wasting my time going over something again.
So bating a friend into the argument again even after they attempt to avoid it, thus initiating the scenario would be...?
What? Anyway, British people are noted for their politeness. Within England proper the rural people were incredibly polite. Londoners were like NYC dwellers with better manners. When I was traveling around the UK, I found that the Welsh were the nicest, warmest, and most welcoming people I had ever met. The Irish were a close second. The Scottish were nice, but a bit more stoic (until you get a few beers in them). On a whole, everywhere I went within the UK was incredibly polite and friendly.
So bating a friend into the argument again even after they attempt to avoid it, thus initiating the scenario would be...?
trolling, which is not participating in an argument, but sitting back and watching it unfold with a glee because you have started chaos. Okay, it's not nice. What do you want? I bad teased you, I'm sorry.
This Your Mom? Maybe living here gets to you after a while but, I don't see what kind of hellish existence you must be living in to consider.. wait, you didn't mention English people, this explains a lot.
As you should be, for you shall surely burn in Inter-Webs Hell with Basement Cat forcing you to watch the most annoying memes in loop for all eternity! :P
@Mrs.Macross: I still have trouble believing that people would think English people are polite. You also forgot the part where the worst parts of your life are played back to you, inter-cut with keyboard cat.
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For example, we were sitting around having an in-depth discussion about advanced food safety after the workshop was out, and someone overheard and "politely" joined in. We had to really slow down (and dumb down) the conversation to let them in on it. We didn't say no because we didn't want to seem rude, but I think it's highly impolite to join in on a conversation like that where you don't have anything to contribute and force everyone else to slow down.
For me, the politeness seems to occasionally be strangely applied; it's like I have to abide by your rules, irrespective of my circumstance. It wasn't all the time, but it was just enough to make me notice. In those cases, I'll take the cold New Yorker ignoring me, rather than the Southerner who makes me slow down to his pace.
But then again, I also appreciated having very friendly and chatty waiters and waitresses. They usually have a lot to say, and they love to say it. If I'm not actually in a rush, that's a good place to slow down and chat.
It's just a very different pace, really. It's unwound by default, whereas New York is wound by default. I prefer the wound-up pace, but I can see the attraction to the unwound pace.
EDIT: Also, Pete, you live in Albany, not NYC. Albany isn't exactly a wound and constantly bustling metropolis.
I think we have been down this road before. I think everything that was to be said on this topic has been said in the other thread.
Different cultures of the North and South in regards to friendliness with strangers: not better, it's not worse, it's just different.
And as I said, it's more of a subtle difference in pace. In Albany, and the Capital District, I have a multitude of options available to me in terms of stimulating activities. In eastern central Alabama, those options are few to nonexistent. Those options that do exist aren't as well executed as those up here, at least in Auburn. So, because there's less external stimulation, there's less overall external activity. People are generally left to their own devices, and so the pace is slowed. Albany is also a lot busier than you think, particularly when it's warm.
Also, Alabama is the deep south, and Auburn particularly so. It's a different sort of South than the Carolinas or Florida. A lot of places that I went really exhibited every Southern stereotype - not necessarily to an extreme degree, but they were exhibited. If you go to a lot of
It's very telling when a city that has less than half the population of Albany has twice as many churches - and those are just the Baptist ones.
As I said, it's just very different. The differences are subtle but pervasive, which really makes a diehard Northerner like myself feel out of place.
Anyway, British people are noted for their politeness. Within England proper the rural people were incredibly polite. Londoners were like NYC dwellers with better manners. When I was traveling around the UK, I found that the Welsh were the nicest, warmest, and most welcoming people I had ever met. The Irish were a close second. The Scottish were nice, but a bit more stoic (until you get a few beers in them). On a whole, everywhere I went within the UK was incredibly polite and friendly.
Okay, it's not nice. What do you want? I bad teased you, I'm sorry.
Maybe living here gets to you after a while but, I don't see what kind of hellish existence you must be living in to consider.. wait, you didn't mention English people, this explains a lot.
You also forgot the part where the worst parts of your life are played back to you, inter-cut with keyboard cat.