Welcome to the internet. :P I'll say again, people are harsher as a rule online. It's easier to be confident/mean. It's also easier to misinterpret someone's implied tone and be insulted when there had been no intent of insult. I'm not saying this is always the case, but there are things you have to take into account when online. The same situation should not always be applied to real life, especially between geeks.
Also, keep in mind that it's not always someone's low confidence that incites harshness or anger from others. Sometimes, the person complaining can have a history of, or just give off the feeling of being overdramatic. Sometimes some of us see certain people online despairing over trivial crap that we ourselves took care of without such a whiny attitude. It can seem overdone, which brings me to the next thing that might set other users off - when someone is obviously looking for attention as an ulterior motive to whatever problem they may be discussing. There are many ways that someone can give off that impression, and a lot of people find it an annoying ploy and respond duly.
One thing I see in low-confidence internet folks that really annoys me is a little disclaimer they use, which is something you do on occasion Axel. "I know I shouldn't be saying this, but...*insert controversial opinion here*" Obviously, the poster does think they should say it, or they wouldn't be. There is little to no consequence of saying something controversial online, and there is little to no consequence of not saying something controversial online. If they truly thought it was a bad idea to go to the effort of typing out their controversial opinion, then they would refrain. So that disclaimer seems like more of a buffer, like they're hoping that everyone will still think better of them despite the fact that they're about to do/say something annoying or support a topic that often angers many. That in itself is annoying, in a similar manner to how euphemisms for controversial topics are annoying. To avoid rude treatment for a controversial opinion, it's better to be respectful and calm than to be defensive.
There are many other factors seen in "under-confident geeks" that make people mad. It isn't always so much their low confidence itself, but some of the retarded internet behavior that follows. Thankfully a lot of what could be considered truly retarded behavior isn't often seen here...
You discover your limits by trying and failing. Without confidence, you never try. Just push everything to the limit and things will be as good as they can possibly be.
Way to only quote part of my post, Scott. My point was that being OVERLY confident was a problem. Confidence with self knowledge allows a person to push past their limitations while mitigating possible pitfalls of being unrealistically confident and not admitting to, planning for, or overcoming those pitfalls. Re-read my post.
Way to only quote part of my post, Scott. My point was that being OVERLY confident was a problem. Confidence with self knowledge allows a person to push past their limitations while mitigating possible pitfalls of being unrealistically confident and not admitting to, planning for, or overcoming those pitfalls. Re-read my post.
You don't know what pitfalls are out there until you get to them.
Way to only quote part of my post, Scott. My point was that being OVERLY confident was a problem. Confidence with self knowledge allows a person to push past their limitations while mitigating possible pitfalls of being unrealistically confident and not admitting to, planning for, or overcoming those pitfalls. Re-read my post.
You don't know what pitfalls are out there until you get to them.
Who said don't go out and try? I am advocating confidence and trying things. I am just saying that being ovelry confident can blind you to your past failings that could impart useful information about avoiding similar mistakes in the future. Again, re-read my post. I am advocating confidence, self awareness, and a willingness to try to push past your limitations by knowing what they are and overcoming them or compensating for them. Being overly confident can put blinders on a person's self-awareness and lead to them taking unnecessary risks in attempting to reach their goal. Certainly, one must take the necessary risks - nothing ventured, nothing gained - but to take unnecessary risks because a person cannot or will not accurately assess the situation and their abilities foolishly compromises the goal.
The way you said it was misleading, considering you linked the terms "attack" and "defend". I would say that you're looking for a term more like "deride".
True, that is a very accurate word, but my vocabulary has never been astounding.
Comments
Also, keep in mind that it's not always someone's low confidence that incites harshness or anger from others. Sometimes, the person complaining can have a history of, or just give off the feeling of being overdramatic. Sometimes some of us see certain people online despairing over trivial crap that we ourselves took care of without such a whiny attitude. It can seem overdone, which brings me to the next thing that might set other users off - when someone is obviously looking for attention as an ulterior motive to whatever problem they may be discussing. There are many ways that someone can give off that impression, and a lot of people find it an annoying ploy and respond duly.
One thing I see in low-confidence internet folks that really annoys me is a little disclaimer they use, which is something you do on occasion Axel. "I know I shouldn't be saying this, but...*insert controversial opinion here*" Obviously, the poster does think they should say it, or they wouldn't be. There is little to no consequence of saying something controversial online, and there is little to no consequence of not saying something controversial online. If they truly thought it was a bad idea to go to the effort of typing out their controversial opinion, then they would refrain. So that disclaimer seems like more of a buffer, like they're hoping that everyone will still think better of them despite the fact that they're about to do/say something annoying or support a topic that often angers many. That in itself is annoying, in a similar manner to how euphemisms for controversial topics are annoying. To avoid rude treatment for a controversial opinion, it's better to be respectful and calm than to be defensive.
There are many other factors seen in "under-confident geeks" that make people mad. It isn't always so much their low confidence itself, but some of the retarded internet behavior that follows. Thankfully a lot of what could be considered truly retarded behavior isn't often seen here...
I am advocating confidence, self awareness, and a willingness to try to push past your limitations by knowing what they are and overcoming them or compensating for them. Being overly confident can put blinders on a person's self-awareness and lead to them taking unnecessary risks in attempting to reach their goal. Certainly, one must take the necessary risks - nothing ventured, nothing gained - but to take unnecessary risks because a person cannot or will not accurately assess the situation and their abilities foolishly compromises the goal.