Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

KusanagiRyu

If you will, give me your eyes for just a moment, I have something to show you.

"In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children.

While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids.

Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered."

I'm not sure if this is the worst or funniest book description I've ever read. In fact, I'm not sure how to feel about this at all beyond "what the fuck did I just read".

Sail

I laughed a lot. I think the author of this thing set out to write the most offensive book he could think of.

Sail

Ahaha, he has another book.

What would you expect to find if you traveled back in time to the Garden of Eden? Adam and Eve? The tree of knowledge? A wicked serpent? How about some giant fucking flying sharks! That's right, I said sharks. Biblical sharks. Sharks that are bigger than city buses. Sharks that can swim through the air and through the ground just as easy as swimming through water. The Garden of Eden is swarming with these mammoth killing machines and they'll eat just about anything or anyone they come across.

A group of fanatical religious tourists from the future travel back in time to meet Adam and Eve. Unfortunately, their time ship crashes, killing the majority of the crew (including the leprechauns) and leaving them stranded in this strange shark-infested land. Among the survivors are: Ernest who has the ability to turn people into mannequins, Ira who wields a razor-edged bible for a weapon, Wayne a giant wizard head with fat lizard legs, Donkey the hunchback halfwit, Anton the birdman, Rattlesnake Doctor, Ancestor, and Sturgeonwolf.

This cult of deranged priests soon discovers that Eden is a far more surreal and dangerous place than they ever could have imagined. It is going to take everything they've got in order to survive long enough to find another way back home.

Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden is a crazy, wild ride of a story. It is what William Burroughs's imagination would look like if turned into Japanese anime.

Funfetus

It's hard to imagine that these could actually be good, because it sounds like he just brainstormed a bunch of crazy and/or offensive stuff, and threw it all in there. But the reviews are good. I don't know. Read it and report back.

WindUpBird

Ah, Eraserhead Press. The much-beloved cult-classic publisher who brought us such masterpieces as Shatnerquake and Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere.

Both of which are supposed to be quality reads. Shatnerquake made BoingBoing's Wish List for Novels around Christmas.

Sail

I saw Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters at the book store today.

WindUpBird

I sawSense and Sensibility and Sea Monstersat the book store today.

I've got Pride And Prejudice And Zombies on my bookshelf from Christmas. Those two are from Quirk Press, though.

Dr. Timo

I sawSense and Sensibility and Sea Monstersat the book store today.

I've gotPride And Prejudice And Zombieson my bookshelf from Christmas. Those two are from Quirk Press, though.

I read that exactly 7 months ago. It is hilarious but leaves you with a strange desire to read more Jane Austin books.

Kate Monster

I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but have yet to read Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. PPZ was funny at first, but it really was just a poorly abridged version with the same few jokes repeated over and over again. Mr. Darcy's continual double entendres regarding balls were both fun and disturbing. While I enjoyed the flippant fun of the first book, I hesitate to pick up the second for two reasons. The first, and less Jane Austen fangirl reason, is that I suspect it will be more of the same and the novelty of the joke will wear off. My second reason fro avoiding the book is this: No one goes to or near the sea in Sense and Sensibility. While the alliteration for the title is cute, sea monsters would better fit Persuasion in which the sea factors into the story quite a bit more. The leading male character in Persuasion is Captain Frederick Wentworth and there are many other seafaring characters in the novel as well. Perhaps the fact that the sea is referenced much (or at all, IIRC) in SS will force the writers to deviate more from the source material and make a more creative retelling. However, I doubt that this will be the case if is similar to the quality of writing in displayed in PPZ.
If anyone has read or reads SSS, please let me know what you think of it as I shan't waste the money and shelf space without a couple of positive recommendations.

@Timo: Have you read much Jane Austen?