The literary/debate/drinking society I'm part of at Columbia has had some mild drama this year.
First, the society generally attempts to get a suite exclusively composed of members during the housing process - this gives us a space to hold events and parties. This year, we were having trouble getting a group of people with the lottery priority to get said suite, and then one of the members decided to drop out at the last minute. In this case, the last minute was two days before the housing selection, and the group had to get another person. Fortunately for me, that person wound up being me, with the result that I might have the best housing of any Columbia sophomore next year. However, the person who dropped out did a fair amount of legwork to make sure we got somebody else to replace her, and is offended (more than she should be) that she hasn't gotten enough credit for "saving" the suite.
As some background for the next bit, the society does have small exclusivity over membership - the criteria is basically participating in meetings a few times a semester - however, in 25 years we've never outright rejected a single person who wanted membership and put a modicum of effort towards it. But there is a system in the society constitution for rejecting a candidate, and we came dangerously close to using it last semester. One of the candidates was an extraordinary case - he made a drunken advance on a member that would have made inducting him very uncomfortable, so we asked him to wait a semester. There was another one, though, who was nearly rejected for being an IRL troll, and decided not to fulfill his membership requirements since he thought he would be rejected. One of the members now wants to amend the society constitution to effectively prevent us from rejecting members, and we're now in for a long, probably bitter, debate over that amendment for the rest of the semester.
You guys... I read your stories to feel better. Your drama has got nothing on the everyday drama of my family and gives me hope that, someday, my life will be at similar levels of drama as yours.
Well, Sonic, let just I wish I had a mom who thought Hitler did good things instead of the mom I had.
But, I digress and agree with that statement.
Here's some anime club drama I avoided because I am not insane.
A little backstory: I was in line to be the president of the Starlight Anime Society. It's a decision made by the prior guard instead of the popular vote, traditionally based on the merits of a member. I helped out and volunteered and DID handle things occasionally as if I was in a position. Even if it was a popular vote, I was pretty damn popular. Unfortunately, the prior guard this time was a guy who had to give it up for failing school, but did make the club much better and bigger and a few cool, but less helpful folks. But a cute black girl who knows the ins of out of club leadership from being on staff of clubs prior mean nothing when you're against a whishy washy Asian pretty boy with fangirls.
I left the school a semester later while still being in the club and watching it deteriorate before my eyes. The president was like the one in Cremlian's tale, except add the fact that everyone was fighting and swaying decisions for him. It was a debacle. Then someone had a bright idea to set up club leadership like the soul society in Bleach, because everyone loved bleach! That. Did. Not. Work. It was a too many hands in the pot situation and split everyone up.
I heard the club is still around, but back to the shell of nothingness and weaboo malaise it was when I found it.
Luckily, I avoided all of that. Not sounds more like a bitch, but none of THAT would've happened if the right choice was made. Even if it was someone else entirely I don't think that would happen.
So back in 2006 my grandfather on my Mom's side of the family passed away, and I was invited to go to his funeral. I used to have a close relationship with the man, but that was when I was just a kid, and I hadn't seen him in almost 13 years. Since I believe that funerals are really only for people who truly cared and loved the person who passed away, I decided not to go.
Notice how I didn't say that my Mom was invited? There's some serious bad blood between her and most of her extended family going back to when she was still a kid. Eventually-and by eventually I mean as soon as she turned 18-she essentially flipped them the bird, and moved across the country to get away from them and their BS. She only kept in contact with two or three of her siblings on a regular basis after that as they were the only well-adjusted and normal members of her family.
Anyway, it turns out that my grandfather had Alzheimer's, and had been diagnosed with it back in 2003. At no point did anyone from my mom's family contact us about it because they either wanted to punish my Mom-and me by proxy-for not dealing with their BS, or they thought that someone else would tell us; we only found out about a year after the funeral had happened, and by accident at that. My Mom couldn't really drum up the energy to confront them over this, as angry as she was and still is about it, and just mentally added it to her list of 'Reasons Why My Family Blows'. I ended up sending them a letter, calling them out on their BS, and ended it by saying I was glad that I didn't really know them at all, and that I didn't want them in my life from this point on.
They've tried to make amends and reach out to both of us since then, but neither of us have forgiven them, or plan on it anytime soon.
Moral of the story? My Mom's family is really messed up, and I hope my kids don't inherit their crazy.
My sister (Let's call her Anna for now) is studying to become a veterinarian, and since she has stared, she's become a lot less squeamish. In fact, she was telling us several stories about animal births she had seen, during diner, over the last 2 weeks, in truly graphic detail. After the plates had been cleared, a fly landed in front of me. As usual, I took a swing at it, hardly expecting to hit, but it connected, squashing the poor fellow. Shortly after, my sister squeaked, not because I had murdered a fly, but because I was wiping my hand on the table cloth. She demanded it be immediately cleaned off, and I agreed we should throw it into the washer, but that was not good enough. The very idea of a fly's body in the washer shook her to her core. She demanded the fly body be scraped off before going into the washer. I, of course, did not give into her ridiculous demands and stood my ground. Shortly after, floors were stomped, stairs were shaken, and a door was slammed.
edit: Anna is 18, I feel this is important to know
I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I hope it's at least entertaining.
JrdBnta's story reminded me of a story that was told to me. I don't know the exact details because I wasn't alive at the time. It goes something like this.
My great grandfather on my mother's side had many siblings, but the story revolves around his sister. His sister had a husband and many children. But then under some circumstances the husband up and left her with the children. Many years later she passed away. By this time my great grandfather was very old and was hunchy and couldn't walk very far. The husband who left her had decided to come to the funeral. When my great grandfather saw him walk in, he stood straight up, temporarily took 50 years off his age, and gave him the biggest tongue lashing. I imagine they had to hold him back from giving him some big hits with a cane. Was probably something along the lines of "How dare you show your face here you #$)(*&$)(@*$&;!!..."
I was preparing a beurre rouge today, and I foolishly left it unattended for but a moment. When I turned back around, it had broken, becoming just so much wretched waste product. I was quite upset, and the whole thing was, I dare say, very dramatic. I do so abhor wasting butter and good wine. My associates attempted to console me, but I was nigh inconsolable! Quite the busy day indeed.
Although, I would not terribly concern yourselves on my behalf, as I've just, moments ago, finished cooking up a few pounds of chocolate mousse, and the prospect of its consumption has returned my spirits. Not all at once, of course.
My current girlfriend has what can only be described as a harem of girls wanting to steal her from me, what did I ever do to attract people like this? .__.
Although it's a funny situation to be in and we make fun of it, some of their attempts border on the ridiculous.
My current girlfriend has what can only be described as a harem of girls wanting to steal her from me, what did I ever do to attract people like this? .__.
My current girlfriend has what can only be described as a harem of girls wanting to steal her from me, what did I ever do to attract people like this? .__.
My current girlfriend has what can only be described as a harem of girls wanting to steal her from me, what did I ever do to attract people like this? .__.
Alright, I'm taking this to the Drama thread, because it's the only place I have to vent and Jason more or less said fuck you when I asked for a dialogue.
I said this:
Jason, do you intend to ignore me for the rest of your life? I would like to talk about what happened so that we can at least part on neutral terms if not friendly ones.
He said this:
Yes, I do. The server is about de-stressing. You stressed me there. I eliminated the stress. Discussion over. /Ignore engaged..
These are quotes from a whispered conversation in the Tertius thread. All I wanted was a frank discussion about what happened on the server because I felt bad about annoying him enough to ban me and I wanted to apologize. I didn't even care about going back to the server, I just wanted some form of closure over the matter. Instead it got thrown into my face and I have felt terrible about it for the past week. There were really only two ways for me to get closure. I could get unbanned and complete my tower as an adventure for the other players, or I could have a discussion with Jason. I jokingly requested an unban in the Tertius thread during yesterdays GeekChat. Much to my surprise he granted my request, and i quickly went to work. Within a matter of hours the tower was complete, the treasures placed, and the hints to their locations posted in the thread. I signed off for what I though would be the last time with a clear conscience. Over the following day(today) I went to My great-grandfathers 95th birthday parties and I come back to the forums and find that I have once again been banned, and my hard work reverted. Fine, whatever I don't care about what happens to my tower anymore. I just want to fucking talk to you Jason, is that so much to ask?
Yeah well, if that means Obi-Wan pops in and chops his arm off with a lightsaber, that's fine by me. Meanwhile in the real world, we solve our disagreements by communicating like civilized people. Something which Jason refuses to do.
EDIT: The reason I posted this in the thread is that no matter what happens, as long as something happens, I win. If Jason relents and talks to me, I win. If Jason does not, people will wither tell me what I did wrong (I win) or people can tell me that I did nothing wrong (I still win).
Grey, from what I know I don't think your ban was justified, but chances are Jason isn't going to talk to you anyway.
That's just fine, but he clearly had his reasons to ban me and I am curious as to what they are. It's his server, so it's his rules, but I still want to know why he has taken such a dislike to me. It bothers me because I hold Jason in high respect, and looking over my memories of what I have done on the server I can't find anything that would cause this. It suggests to me that there might be a systematic error in the way I act online and I want to correct it. I can't imagine there isn't someone here on this forum who can help me, but Jason isn't talking, but another two people I hold in respect and that I believe could help me come in to the thread where I ask for such help, and say fuck you, and I'm left to wonder, am I really that abrasive? It's really getting me down.
but I still want to know why he has taken such a dislike to me
Here's my guess: you were banned once for griefing, came back under the promise not to grief again, and then did something that outwardly appears to be griefing.
It doesn't matter that the second time was an accident, because now trust has been violated. Unfair? Maybe. But it's something that you should learn to expect. We can't get inside people's heads, so while you can claim up and down that the second time was an accident, we have another similar situation where it was griefing. That casts doubt on the second occurrence.
In the future, test your lava trap with water first. It's much less destructive.
Comments
First, the society generally attempts to get a suite exclusively composed of members during the housing process - this gives us a space to hold events and parties. This year, we were having trouble getting a group of people with the lottery priority to get said suite, and then one of the members decided to drop out at the last minute. In this case, the last minute was two days before the housing selection, and the group had to get another person. Fortunately for me, that person wound up being me, with the result that I might have the best housing of any Columbia sophomore next year. However, the person who dropped out did a fair amount of legwork to make sure we got somebody else to replace her, and is offended (more than she should be) that she hasn't gotten enough credit for "saving" the suite.
As some background for the next bit, the society does have small exclusivity over membership - the criteria is basically participating in meetings a few times a semester - however, in 25 years we've never outright rejected a single person who wanted membership and put a modicum of effort towards it. But there is a system in the society constitution for rejecting a candidate, and we came dangerously close to using it last semester. One of the candidates was an extraordinary case - he made a drunken advance on a member that would have made inducting him very uncomfortable, so we asked him to wait a semester. There was another one, though, who was nearly rejected for being an IRL troll, and decided not to fulfill his membership requirements since he thought he would be rejected. One of the members now wants to amend the society constitution to effectively prevent us from rejecting members, and we're now in for a long, probably bitter, debate over that amendment for the rest of the semester.
But, I digress and agree with that statement.
Here's some anime club drama I avoided because I am not insane.
A little backstory: I was in line to be the president of the Starlight Anime Society. It's a decision made by the prior guard instead of the popular vote, traditionally based on the merits of a member. I helped out and volunteered and DID handle things occasionally as if I was in a position. Even if it was a popular vote, I was pretty damn popular. Unfortunately, the prior guard this time was a guy who had to give it up for failing school, but did make the club much better and bigger and a few cool, but less helpful folks. But a cute black girl who knows the ins of out of club leadership from being on staff of clubs prior mean nothing when you're against a whishy washy Asian pretty boy with fangirls.
I left the school a semester later while still being in the club and watching it deteriorate before my eyes. The president was like the one in Cremlian's tale, except add the fact that everyone was fighting and swaying decisions for him. It was a debacle. Then someone had a bright idea to set up club leadership like the soul society in Bleach, because everyone loved bleach! That. Did. Not. Work. It was a too many hands in the pot situation and split everyone up.
I heard the club is still around, but back to the shell of nothingness and weaboo malaise it was when I found it.
Luckily, I avoided all of that. Not sounds more like a bitch, but none of THAT would've happened if the right choice was made. Even if it was someone else entirely I don't think that would happen.
So back in 2006 my grandfather on my Mom's side of the family passed away, and I was invited to go to his funeral. I used to have a close relationship with the man, but that was when I was just a kid, and I hadn't seen him in almost 13 years. Since I believe that funerals are really only for people who truly cared and loved the person who passed away, I decided not to go.
Notice how I didn't say that my Mom was invited? There's some serious bad blood between her and most of her extended family going back to when she was still a kid. Eventually-and by eventually I mean as soon as she turned 18-she essentially flipped them the bird, and moved across the country to get away from them and their BS. She only kept in contact with two or three of her siblings on a regular basis after that as they were the only well-adjusted and normal members of her family.
Anyway, it turns out that my grandfather had Alzheimer's, and had been diagnosed with it back in 2003. At no point did anyone from my mom's family contact us about it because they either wanted to punish my Mom-and me by proxy-for not dealing with their BS, or they thought that someone else would tell us; we only found out about a year after the funeral had happened, and by accident at that. My Mom couldn't really drum up the energy to confront them over this, as angry as she was and still is about it, and just mentally added it to her list of 'Reasons Why My Family Blows'. I ended up sending them a letter, calling them out on their BS, and ended it by saying I was glad that I didn't really know them at all, and that I didn't want them in my life from this point on.
They've tried to make amends and reach out to both of us since then, but neither of us have forgiven them, or plan on it anytime soon.
Moral of the story? My Mom's family is really messed up, and I hope my kids don't inherit their crazy.
My sister (Let's call her Anna for now) is studying to become a veterinarian, and since she has stared, she's become a lot less squeamish. In fact, she was telling us several stories about animal births she had seen, during diner, over the last 2 weeks, in truly graphic detail. After the plates had been cleared, a fly landed in front of me. As usual, I took a swing at it, hardly expecting to hit, but it connected, squashing the poor fellow. Shortly after, my sister squeaked, not because I had murdered a fly, but because I was wiping my hand on the table cloth. She demanded it be immediately cleaned off, and I agreed we should throw it into the washer, but that was not good enough. The very idea of a fly's body in the washer shook her to her core. She demanded the fly body be scraped off before going into the washer. I, of course, did not give into her ridiculous demands and stood my ground. Shortly after, floors were stomped, stairs were shaken, and a door was slammed.
edit: Anna is 18, I feel this is important to know
I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I hope it's at least entertaining.
My great grandfather on my mother's side had many siblings, but the story revolves around his sister. His sister had a husband and many children. But then under some circumstances the husband up and left her with the children. Many years later she passed away. By this time my great grandfather was very old and was hunchy and couldn't walk very far. The husband who left her had decided to come to the funeral. When my great grandfather saw him walk in, he stood straight up, temporarily took 50 years off his age, and gave him the biggest tongue lashing. I imagine they had to hold him back from giving him some big hits with a cane. Was probably something along the lines of "How dare you show your face here you #$)(*&$)(@*$&;!!..."
This comic has shades of truth in it. I thought it might be relevant to your interests.
Although, I would not terribly concern yourselves on my behalf, as I've just, moments ago, finished cooking up a few pounds of chocolate mousse, and the prospect of its consumption has returned my spirits. Not all at once, of course.
Although it's a funny situation to be in and we make fun of it, some of their attempts border on the ridiculous.
I said this: He said this: These are quotes from a whispered conversation in the Tertius thread.
All I wanted was a frank discussion about what happened on the server because I felt bad about annoying him enough to ban me and I wanted to apologize. I didn't even care about going back to the server, I just wanted some form of closure over the matter. Instead it got thrown into my face and I have felt terrible about it for the past week. There were really only two ways for me to get closure. I could get unbanned and complete my tower as an adventure for the other players, or I could have a discussion with Jason. I jokingly requested an unban in the Tertius thread during yesterdays GeekChat. Much to my surprise he granted my request, and i quickly went to work. Within a matter of hours the tower was complete, the treasures placed, and the hints to their locations posted in the thread. I signed off for what I though would be the last time with a clear conscience. Over the following day(today) I went to My great-grandfathers 95th birthday parties and I come back to the forums and find that I have once again been banned, and my hard work reverted. Fine, whatever I don't care about what happens to my tower anymore. I just want to fucking talk to you Jason, is that so much to ask?
He doesn't like you.
EDIT: The reason I posted this in the thread is that no matter what happens, as long as something happens, I win. If Jason relents and talks to me, I win. If Jason does not, people will wither tell me what I did wrong (I win) or people can tell me that I did nothing wrong (I still win).
It doesn't matter that the second time was an accident, because now trust has been violated. Unfair? Maybe. But it's something that you should learn to expect. We can't get inside people's heads, so while you can claim up and down that the second time was an accident, we have another similar situation where it was griefing. That casts doubt on the second occurrence.
In the future, test your lava trap with water first. It's much less destructive.