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Chick Flick Improvements

edited May 2011 in Movies
My wife is watching The Englishman who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain. Bleh.

That movie is supposed to take place during The Great War. So, why don't they have more war in it? War would really improve that movie.

No - what would really improve that movie is a werewolf. The Werewolf who went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain.

Townsfolk: We're verra a'fear'd o' tha werewolf tha lives on tha mountian, ye ken?

Hugh Grant: Well, it's not really a mountain. It's a hill.

Townsfolk: We dinna really care. We need ye to gae an' kill tha beastie.

So Hugh Grant tramps up the hill, kills the werewolf, buries him under the sod. As he comes back down into the town, a closeup shows that he's been bitten by the werewolf.

Four Weddings and a Funeral just screams out for a zombie outbreak.

What other improvements to chick flicks could be made?

Comments

  • They could do with a little more tragedy. I'd like to see some more modern romances that employ the "everybody dies" tactic. If you're going to do melodrama you might as well do it proper.
  • Well, if you eliminate Katherine Heigl or Kate Hudson, that'll solve atleast 25% of the problems with romcoms today.

    -I think the biggest thing that needs to be added, is the unhappy ending. Or hell, bittersweet would even work, take the main character who doesn't find love, but learns how to love herself. That kind of ending wins in it's own right.

    -Have the testacles to bring up serious issues with complications of sex, pregnancy, baby-raising, homosexuality, or what messy conflict happens from -cheating.

    -Don't mistake snide comments for love. There's a great difference between passion and intimacy, they are not one in the same.

    -Less cliches. RomComs would be more tolerable if they weren't so predictable. How about a movie all about swingers who have sex for relief, and that's it? No falling in love, none of that.
  • edited May 2011
    Also, How about we have a chick flick where the super perfect wonderful guy doesn't have a dark secret that makes him more awesome, but actually is a dark secret? Like, The guy who is sweet, perfect, handsome and wonderful isn't a Secret agent, He's a drug addict scrambling to hide his habit and a few grand in debt, with his head barely above water? Or how about the Sweet perfect guy IS a secret agent, but he isn't some high-flying international spy with fast cars, faster women, and lots of money, But he's the guy who goes and commits atrocious acts which have scarred him mentally, and he wants to get out now that he's found true love?

    Actually, something interesting would be where the couple goes through the movie, struggling to keep it together, and they go "Yo, We're just not right for each other, we should stop doing this" and then instead of hating everyone the other person is with and relentlessly trying to sabotage both each other's and their own relationships, and get back together in the end, they have an amicable split, remain friends, and help each other find happiness as best friends?

    Or maybe a movie where a group of people have casual sex, and it doesn't end in tears, heartbreak, finding true love(or at least, just the one), or basically "Correcting" them down to a life of strictly monogamous marriage where they don't even look at anyone else? Shit, even just a regular-but-mostly-happy open relationship would make for an excellent romantic movie.
    Post edited by Churba on
  • Watched Like water for elephants last night. I didn't know anything about the movie other than it sounded like it was going to be a chick flick. It was for the most part. But there was some notable moments of violence. Hobos being thrown off a moving train. Robert Pattinson getting his ass kicked several times. A disturbing off camera scene of a elephant getting brutalized. Tigers running amok. Not a bad at all.
  • Also, How about we have a chick flick where the super perfect wonderful guy doesn't have a dark secret that makes him more awesome, but actually is a dark secret?
    Because that's not a chick flick, that's Dexter.
  • Because that's not a chick flick, that's Dexter.
    I would have to disagree, simply because Dexter focuses just on Dexter and his...Eccentricities, and the stories that spring from that. A Chick flick would be focusing on the relationship and drama between two people, one of which has a dark secret - It's something that has an effect on the relationship you're focusing on, rather than focusing on that thing.
  • Because that's not a chick flick, that's Dexter.
    I would have to disagree, simply because Dexter focuses just on Dexter and his...Eccentricities, and the stories that spring from that. A Chick flick would be focusing on the relationship and drama between two people, one of which has a dark secret - It's something that has an effect on the relationship you're focusing on, rather than focusing on that thing.
    A Chick Flick was Season 5, and that's why it wasn't as good.

    In what you guys are saying, we do need more movies like Shaun of the Dead, which are essentially about romance, but have other-worldly elements.
  • "How To Lose A Guy In 12 Parsecs"
  • A Chick Flick was Season 5, and that's why it wasn't as good.
    I don't know - I haven't seen anything more of dexter than clips, everything I know about it I've read elsewhere.
  • edited May 2011
    Just make every romantic movie a troll romantic movie.
    Post edited by Railith on
  • Michael Bay.
  • Michael Bay.
    Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy, Boy and girl fall in love, THEN EXPLODE.
  • Michael Bay.
    Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy, Boy and girl fall in love, THEN EXPLODE.
    Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy, Boy and girl fall in love, GIRL IS KILLER ROBOT. Boy is sleeping around.

    Oh wait, that was the beginning of Transformers 2. Thanks, Michael Bay.
  • Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy, Boy and girl fall in love, GIRL IS KILLER ROBOT. Boy is sleeping around.

    Oh wait, that was the beginning of Transformers 2. Thanks, Michael Bay.
    That actually almost makes me want to watch Transformers 2.
  • Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy, Boy and girl fall in love, GIRL IS KILLER ROBOT. Boy is sleeping around.

    Oh wait, that was the beginning of Transformers 2. Thanks, Michael Bay.
    That actually almost makes me want to watch Transformers 2.
    Almost.
  • Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy, Boy and girl fall in love, GIRL IS KILLER ROBOT. Boy is sleeping around.

    Oh wait, that was the beginning of Transformers 2. Thanks, Michael Bay.
    That actually almost makes me want to watch Transformers 2.
    Almost.
    But havn't you heard? Transformers 2 is the greatest movie ever. I know so. A nine year old told me so. It's so cool because of "all the awesome swearing" which I took to be a coded reference to the post-modern use of crappy dialogue and shitty action scenes in order to deconstruct the entire medium of film.
  • edited May 2011
    No - what would really improve that movie is a werewolf. The Werewolf who went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain.
    Werewolves are the thing in Chick Flick romances these days, or haven't you heard?
    Post edited by gomidog on
  • edited May 2011
    No - what would really improve that movie is a werewolf. The Werewolf who went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain.
    Werewolves are the thing in Chick Flick romances these days, or haven't you heard?
    Examples of werewolves in a chick flick being a bad thing:
    Red Riding Hood and ANY Twilight related movie.
    Post edited by GreatTeacherMacRoss on
  • Plentiful tits would also be a large improvement.
  • edited May 2011
    Wristcutters: A love Story had death, surrealism and was a romcom.
    Post edited by Viga on
  • Wristcutters: A love Story had death, surrealism and was a romcom.
    And it features Tom Waits in a supporting role.
  • My dear mother reports that Love and Other Drugs is a romcom that seriously handles a lot of real world shit, and also has plentiful naked Anne Hathaway. I support all of these things.
  • edited May 2011
    Mandatory "Three Stooges" references and cutaways might save some, but not all, Julia Roberts movies.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • naked Anne Hathaway
    I'll take two.
  • My dear mother reports that Love and Other Drugs is a romcom that seriously handles a lot of real world shit, and also has plentiful naked Anne Hathaway. I support all of these things.
    The movie was surprisingly good, and not just because of naked Anne Hathaway (not that it didn't help, though).
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