Jigglypuff is the best Pokemon ever. Use Jigglypuff to get all the ladies. - Alex Dunn, Has a Lady-Friend who Enjoys the Jigglypuff and Makeouts, also a master liar.
Jigglypuff is the best Pokemon ever. Use Jigglypuff to get all the ladies. - Alex Dunn, Has a Lady-Friend who Enjoys the Jigglypuff and Makeouts, also not lying at all.
CUPERTINO, CA—Steve Jobs, the visionary co-founder of Apple Computers and the only American in the country who had any clue what the fuck he was doing, died Wednesday at the age of 56. "We haven't just lost a great innovator, leader, and businessman, we've literally lost the only person in this country who actually had his shit together and knew what the hell was going on," a statement from President Barack Obama read in part, adding that Jobs will be remembered both for the life-changing products he created and for the fact that he was able to sit down, think clearly, and execute his ideas—attributes he shared with no other U.S. citizen. "This is a dark time for our country, because the reality is none of the 300 million or so Americans who remain can actually get anything done or make things happen. Those days are over." Obama added that if anyone could fill the void left by Jobs it would probably be himself, but said that at this point he honestly doesn’t have the slightest notion what he’s doing anymore.
Eating waffles everyday will lower your blood pressure, make you more attractive and make your farts smell like maple syrup. Tim Strunck , Professor. IHOP
Take this for what you will. The part I'd like to highlight follows:
Jobs did not lead a balanced life. He was professionally relentless. He worked long hours, and remained CEO of Apple through his illness until six weeks before he died. The result was amazing products the world appreciates. But that doesn't mean Jobs' workaholic regimen is one to emulate.
So once again it looks like greatness can come at a personal cost.
Here's my Steve Jobs jokes. I know they're in bad taste, but I hope someone will laugh at them anyway: Jobs' burial will be completely incompatible with any other graveyard in the world. If you aren't manufactured by apple, you will need an adapter to attend the wake. In a month or two, they'll announce the Steve Jobs 3G. It'll be smaller, have better coverage, and it will have gotten rid of all the cancers people complained about in the first one. [WARNING: The following is more offensive than anything above. Proceed at your own caution] Pancreatic cancer: there's an app for that.
Who else thinks that giant UFO HQ Apple is building is actually some kind of magic circle to be used to resurrect the Zombie Jobs? I'm just wondering how many Apple Fanboys will be sacrificed in the ceremony. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
Comments
Wow, that's a logo right there.
US government continues to do little to stop Jobs loss in America.
Jobs' burial will be completely incompatible with any other graveyard in the world.
If you aren't manufactured by apple, you will need an adapter to attend the wake.
In a month or two, they'll announce the Steve Jobs 3G. It'll be smaller, have better coverage, and it will have gotten rid of all the cancers people complained about in the first one.
[WARNING: The following is more offensive than anything above. Proceed at your own caution]
Pancreatic cancer: there's an app for that.
I'm just wondering how many Apple Fanboys will be sacrificed in the ceremony. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)