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The Terrible Metal Experience

edited February 2012 in Art!
I'm making a new thread for CHRIStFUCK so I stop shitting up the metal thread with it. Also, to avoid drawing too many google hits, lets refer to the band as CtK from now on.

What is CtK?

According to the Youtube channel...

"CtK initially formed in 1998, featuring Leto Spineripper, Angertwist, and Stewart. However, Spinripper was tragically killed later that year at a Mayhem concert when he tore a testicle in the mosh pit. Sir the Fister was invited to complete the album and remains the band's touring vocalist, guitarist, and frontman. In 2000, rising Danish Black Metal star Hanseldwof Mordfyr, fleeing serial assisted suicide charges, joined the band.

After their first self-titled album CtK in 1999, the band released Rising Fucktide (2002) and Thy Cock be Done (2005). However, midway through the TCbD tour, the band broke apart, citing "some bullshit". Hatestick Angertwist went on to a solo career, and the rest of the band dispersed.

However, in June of 2010, the band quietly reunited and began work on a reunion album, Raging Murderstorm."

In reality, CtK is an experiment in creating the worst "music" physically possible; to walk the line between pure noise and bad music to create something not quite either. In doing so, we hope to gather a combination of people who think we're serious and hate us, people who know we're joking and love it ironically, and people who actually like it. The goal is to be ironically bad on every level, much like Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

The "music" so far...

Our next song is Track 8 on Raging Murderstorm, Bonecrunching Daemon Punch, which will be a style parody of Dragonforce with autotuning, discordant guitars and lyrics about molesting goblins.

If you have any lyric suggestions, contributions, or hate mail, here's the place.



  • Obviously it sounds like someone took existing metal songs and just mixed them with all sorts of interference and noise to make something that is barely more than noise.

    The thing is, I am very curious to see how this can be performed live.
  • I'm insulted by that accusation! We handcrafted this terribleness!
  • Also, new song. We decided to make this the title track, so (don't) enjoy Raging Murderstorm!

    Note the art; that's our new album cover.
  • Hey, that one actually sounds more like a song.
  • Have you ever listened to Whitehouse by any chance?
  • Hey, that one actually sounds more like a song.
    It's a difficult line between noise and song. We went more noise before and more song this time; not sure which is worse.
    Have you ever listened to Whitehouse by any chance?
    Nope. Do they sound like this?
  • Not really, but your stuff is sort of like their genre (Power Electronics) and shitty death metal all mashed up into a fetid mass.
  • I love the comic sans.
  • however the album cover is still way too high quality for you guys.
  • It's designed to fool people into clicking on the youtube links.
  • This could be like 20% more terrible. Get cracking. My ears aren't bleeding yet.
  • edited February 2012
    Take the hint from /mu/. More like this:

    Also, yes. Vomir is a serious project. The guy performs with a black plastic bag on his head while wearing cargo pants and a parka, and stands motionless in front of his equipment while "performing."

    You need to top that level of batshit craziness before your project can be truly awful.
    Post edited by WindUpBird on
  • Oh god, I dunno if we can top that. We'll give it the old college try, though.
  • Oh god, I dunno if we can top that. We'll give it the old college try, though.
    Here's some reference material:

  • Oh, it is fucking ON. This guy doesn't know what terrible is! We'll show him! We'll show them all!

  • That genre is called "HNW," or "Harsh Noise Walls." All I've really been able to discern is that the genre consists primarily of blaring atonal white noise passed off as "songs."
  • He doesn't know what harsh, noise, or walls are!
  • Needs more nails on chalkboard. Get on it.
  • The next song has a dental drill in it, among many others.

  • I promise the next track will be little more than a solid wall of noise in compensation for this slow stuff.
  • I think you need to go beyond normal incoherent growling, just get into really bad singing, such as:

  • Chronic Necrostench and Writhing of the Fuckspawn actually aren't that bad. With a little creative remixing, I'd probably listen to them occasionally in a non-ironic fashion.
  • I think you need to go beyond normal incoherent growling, just get into really bad singing, such as:

    That is what I consider "The wrong sort of bad". We're not parody so much as exploitation; taking ideas and sounds that are in the same rough general direction as the crazy end of metal and pushing it so far off the deep end that it just becomes solid walls of offensive noise. That way, we get people who hate it, people who like it, and people who like it ironically, which is the perfect combo.
  • It keeps things just believable enough.
  • Fair enough. Maybe consider though for your inevitable Dragonforce Parody or that JesusCore stuff.

  • Warning : Not Safe for Ears

  • This is also awful.
  • What happened to all the music?
  • It was deleted and reuploaded to keep the album art consistant. Head to the Youtube channel to get them all, including our new songs The Ballad of Sir Bastard the First and Choking on Dog Skeletons.

    The first album is technically complete, so we're taking a break for now. We'll be back soon with an EP, Bank of Screams.
  • A terrible metal experience: when Hunter Hunt Hendrix starts talking

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