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So a Baptist came to my door...

Mr. EricMr. Eric
edited January 2008 in Everything Else
He gave me some pamphlet and asked me if I knew how to get into Heaven. I told him I had to accept Jesus into my heart, and he was like, "Hello fellow Baptist!"

I responded with "but Jesus sucks, I would rather reign in Hell than serve in Heaven." The look on his face was priceless. He walked away at that point, like someone who had just been raped would.
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Comments

  • SailSail
    Haha, it's like that's the code phrase or something.
  • Linkigi(Link-ee-jee)Linkigi(Link-ee-jee)
    That. Is. Awesome.
    Serves him right for going door-to-door impressing his religion on others.
  • VigaViga
    Why can't moments like these be youtubed. Anyway, that was awesome.
  • Sir_XanderSir_Xander
    I'm going to file that away in the back of my head for future use
  • La Petit MortLa Petit Mort
    Same, mostly because it happens often where Iive.
  • ptrix69ptrix69
    lol jesus. He has teh powarz!!!!
  • OmnutiaOmnutia
    edited January 2008
    like someone who had just been raped would.
    Nice choice of analogy..(Is there something you want to tell us?)
    Post edited by Omnutia on
  • ......
    edited January 2008
    He gave me some pamphlet and asked me if I knew how to get into Heaven. I told him I had to accept Jesus into my heart, and he was like, "Hello fellow Baptist!"
    Does that guy really think only Baptists know how to get into Heaven? And Baptists are stupid, so are Catholics, Protestants, Mormons and the dozen or so other branches of Christianity. YOU'RE ALL CHRISTIANS! Believe in your God and stop claiming to be different!

    Oh, and lulz :D
    Post edited by ... on
  • SoloSolo
    This reminds me of what my father used to do. I don't know if I already posted this on a different thread, but I'm doing it here anyway.
    He'd see the 'Jews for Jesus' harassing an old lady, or something of the like, and the go over and have a 'discussion' with them. He would say something like: "So your telling me that if someone lives a good, Christian type of life: helping those in need, being a kind person, and all that sort of stuff, but doesn't accept Jesus as his savior he's going to hell?" And of course they'd say yes. "But, if someone lives the exact opposite of a good christian life: kills people, steals, is nasty, whatever, but on his deathbed accepts Jesus as his savior, he's going to heaven?" The answer was yes whether they wanted to admit it or not. 'Well, then I want to go to hell. That's where all the interesting people are.'

    I only know so much about christianity, so for all I know there could be a rule to stop a murder from going to heaven even if he accepts Jesus as his savior on his death bed, but if I don't know about it then most christians won't either.
  • rhinocerorhinocero
    edited January 2008
    I only know so much about christianity, so for all I know there could be a rule to stop a murder from going to heaven even if he accepts Jesus as his savior on his death bed, but if I don't know about it then most christians won't either.
    depends on what flavor of christianity. It's a pretty big theological question, and it tends to be one of the factors that divides one church from another.
    Post edited by rhinocero on
  • George PatchesGeorge Patches
    Wow you guys are harsh. I had some Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door the other day. They were very polite and I told them politely I wasn't converting from Orthodox Catholic, they said ok and peace be with you, I said same to you, good luck and stay warm (it was 20F that day). I actually feel slightly bad for not inviting them in for a little bit, they looked really cold.
  • ......
    I only know so much about christianity, so for all I know there could be a rule to stop a murder from going to heaven even if he accepts Jesus as his savior on his death bed, but if I don't know about it then most christians won't either.
    Generally, afaik, if the person truly regrets whatever he has done and begs for forgiveness he will be accepted in heaven. Just look at the story where Jesus gets crucified. There are two convicted criminals on crosses on either side of him, one of them asks Jesus to not forget him when Jesus goes to heaven, to which Jesus responds that that criminal will walk with him in heaven.

    So imho, the flavors (as rhinocero calls them) who do not agree to that should stfu, gtfo and take a good hard look at their bibles again. You're either Christian, or not.
  • spiritfiendspiritfiend
    Does that guy really think only Baptists know how to get into Heaven? And Baptists are stupid, so are Catholics, Protestants, Mormons and the dozen or so other branches of Christianity. YOU'RE ALL CHRISTIANS! Believe in your God and stop claiming to be different!
    Modern Jews, Christians, and Muslims all worship the same single god of Abraham. To claim that all these people should just accept being in one group due to the worship of a single god is mostly absurd.
    ...So imho, the flavors (as rhinocero calls them) who do not agree to that should stfu, gtfo and take a good hard look at their bibles again. You're either Christian, or not.
    There is a disconnect between what the Bible says and what most Christians believe. It hasn't been resolved in the 1500 years that Christianity has been in existence, it probably couldn't be solved so simply. Catholics, for example, believe that church doctrine supersedes what is in the bible, partially because it was imperfectly copied over the ages, and mostly because it thinks people like you can't understand properly what is in there.
  • KilarneyKilarney
    edited January 2008
    They were very polite and I told them politely I wasn't converting from Orthodox Catholic, they said ok and peace be with you, I said same to you, good luck and stay warm (it was 20F that day).
    It's nice to see that there is maturity on this board. The original poster acted like an ass. If they were polite to you, why go out of your way to offend them? It says much more about you than them.
    Post edited by Kilarney on
  • ......
    Catholics, for example, believe that church doctrine supersedes what is in the bible
    "THIS IS THE WORD OF GOD! BUT MYTHE WORD OF THE CHURCH GOES ABOVE HIS!"

    As for Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipping the same god, okay, didn't know that, but their believes differ a lot. Including the associated culture. Whereas Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, etc, all have the same/similar cultures. And they believe in the same book.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    As for Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipping the same god, okay, didn't know that, . . .
    It's pretty unbelievable that you didn't know that. I guess it's one of those useless things that you learn from history.
  • AndrewAndrew
    They were very polite and I told them politely I wasn't converting from Orthodox Catholic, they said ok and peace be with you, I said same to you, good luck and stay warm (it was 20F that day).
    It's nice to see that there is actuality maturity on this board. The original poster acted like an ass. If they were polite to you, why go out of your way to offend them? It says much more about you than them.
    Agreed. No matter my dislike for certain beliefs, I always treat others with respect.
    As for Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipping the same god, okay, didn't know that, . . .
    It's pretty unbelievable that you didn't know that. I guess it's one of those useless things that you learn from history.
    Zing!
  • spiritfiendspiritfiend
    As for Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipping the same god, okay, didn't know that, but their believes differ a lot. Including the associated culture. Whereas Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, etc, all have the same/similar cultures. And they believe in the same book.
    Do you understand what the Protestant Reformation was all about? The United States and The United Kingdom share the same/similar culture, also. Why shouldn't we abandon our government and submit to the crown? It seems like your argument recommends this type of action.
  • AprecheApreche
    It's nice to see that there is actuality maturity on this board. The original poster acted like an ass. If they were polite to you, why go out of your way to offend them? It says much more about you than them.
    Yes, so polite to come knocking on my door at the crack ass of dawn just to push your crazy ideology on people. Acting nice and polite on the surface means nothing. What really matters is whether you are nice at heart. Take for example this video.



    The Mormons act all nice at the start, just like good salespeople. Of course, they woke up these guys at the crack of dawn multiple times, not so nice. The guys retaliate in a clever way. I may be an asshole in terms of my manners, but I think in my heart I have almost no darkness. Think about what I would do if I were put in the situation of being ballooned. I'd probably initially be surprised, but then I'd laugh it up with the cool dudes who pulled the most excellent prank. The Mormons on the other hand, when they come into contact with water, the darkness of their hearts are revealed.

    I'm not making generalizations about mormons or anything like that at all. I'm just saying that acting nice doesn't count for shit with me. Anyone can present themselves with nice manners. It has no relation to whether you are truly nice on the inside.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    As for Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipping the same god, okay, didn't know that, but their believes differ a lot. Including the associated culture. Whereas Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, etc, all have the same/similar cultures. And they believe in the same book.
    Do you understand what the Protestant Reformation was all about? The United States and The United Kingdom share the same/similar culture, also. Why shouldn't we abandon our government and submit to the crown? It seems like your argument recommends this type of action.
    If I were to guess, I'd say he has no idea what the Protestant Reformation was all about. He thinks History is useless and revels in his ignorance of it, but for some reason he still wants to talk about it.
  • KilarneyKilarney
    Yes, so polite to come knocking on my door at the crack ass of dawn just to push your crazy ideology on people.
    The original poster didn't say this. He also said that they were very polite. And if they are jerks, why do you have to sink to their level? Makes you no better than them. If that's the case, then you have no right to criticize them.
  • spiritfiendspiritfiend
    ..if they are jerks, why do you have to sink to their level? Makes you no better than them. If that's the case, then you have no right to criticize them.
    I disagree. If someone is imposing on your property, they deserve what is coming to them, after being warned. The people in the video could have been more clear what the consequences of standing in the doorway were, but they were somewhat warned that they were in the 'crossfire'.
  • AprecheApreche
    The original poster didn't say this. He also said that they were very polite. And if they are jerks, why do you have to sink to their level? Makes you no better than them. If that's the case, then you have no right to criticize them.
    What's wrong with being perfectly honest with someone, and telling them exactly what I think? They want to come to my house to tell me what they think, why shouldn't I give them exactly the same thing in return?
  • ......
    As for Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipping the same god, okay, didn't know that, . . .
    It's pretty unbelievable that you didn't know that. I guess it's one of those useless things that you learn from history.
    Let me rephrase that, I didn't know for sure. I knew that the Muslims do think Jesus has existed, but don't accept him as the son of god, and just a prophet, or not even that. But yes, it's one of those history things I have absolutely no interest in. If one does not interest themselves in something their knowledge of said subject will water down. And besides, we didn't learn anything about the Jews or Muslims during History class.
    It's nice to see that there is maturity on this board. The original poster acted like an ass. If they were polite to you, why go out of your way to offend them? It says much more about you than them.
    True, though I do agree with Scott that if they come daily, or even weekly, early, just to tell me to join church x, then no, I'd ask if they would stop doing that, politely at first, and then it depends on how they react.
    Do you understand what the Protestant Reformation was all about? The United States and The United Kingdom share the same/similar culture, also. Why shouldn't we abandon our government and submit to the crown? It seems like your argument recommends this type of action.
    Yes, the people did not like how the church acted, wanted to reform it and then became protestant. And I do not recommend to abandon your government at all.
  • KilarneyKilarney
    after being warned.
    He didn't give them any warning.
  • Mr. EricMr. Eric
    edited January 2008
    Yes, so polite to come knocking on my door at the crack ass of dawn just to push your crazy ideology on people.
    The original poster didn't say this. He also said that they were very polite. And if they are jerks, why do you have to sink to their level? Makes you no better than them. If that's the case, then you have no right to criticize them.
    Nowhere did I say they were polite. That wasn't the whole conversation. When I told him I used to be Catholic, he said that I would go to Hell, and I argued with him a bit before saying that.
    Post edited by Mr. Eric on
  • KilarneyKilarney
    edited January 2008
    I was mixing up another post with your original post.

    If they weren't polite, then you have no obligation to be polite - except to show that you're better than they are.

    If you can get through the painfully long introduction, this video is pretty funny. The guys are actually quite polite yet make their point.
    Post edited by Kilarney on
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    Let me rephrase that, I didn't know for sure. I knew that the Muslims do think Jesus has existed, but don't accept him as the son of god, and just a prophet, or not even that. But yes, it's one of those history things I have absolutely no interest in. If one does not interest themselves in something their knowledge of said subject will water down.
    This is what I don't understand. If it's "one of those history things" you "have absolutely no interest in", why do you talk about it?
    And besides, we didn't learn anything about the Jews or Muslims during History class.
    You must have had a sad, sad history class. I thought you went to some sort of genius school or something. Also, why would anyone be satisfied with what they learned in class? Read a Got-damned book every once in a while. Find out something on your own.
  • spiritfiendspiritfiend
    edited January 2008
    after being warned.
    He didn't give them any warning.
    He was holding a camera and told them he was filming a movie called "Shoot-out" which the Mormon said "sounds violent". It wasn't entirely an adequate warning, but I think it's good enough for a water ballooning.
    Post edited by spiritfiend on
  • ......
    This is what I don't understand. If it's "one of those history things" you "have absolutely no interest in", why do you talk about it?
    Because it passed. I am interested in peoples opinions on these things, i.e. Christians going door by door to get people to join their church. Psychology is interesting.
    Find out something on your own.
    Wait, because I do not go out of my way to research something I have ALMOST NO interest in you think I don't find anything out on my own? What about things I am interested in? Do you really think anyone would go find stuff out they DO NOT find interesting, when they can spend that time to find stuff out about things they ARE interested in?

    Example, Bob here is not interested in architecture, yet he is very interested in airplanes. What do you think he will do?
    A) Waste his time finding stuff out about architecture, or
    B) Waste his time in a for him useful way by finding stuff out about airplanes?

    With that in mind, how can you claim I need to read a book? You don't even know what I read! And I think your guess will be wrong.
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