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Your Evil Villain Plot
I was just talking to Rym about how I would like to alter the tilting of the earth to raise the attitude of the tropic of cancer and make it much warmer here in the Northern Hemisphere. This got me thinking of a good forum thread.
If you were a super villain/mad scientist, what would be your evil plan? Simply rule the world? Blot out the sun? Make a zombie army?
I just realized that I actually do plan to destroy television if the opportunity arises.
If you were a super villain/mad scientist, what would be your evil plan? Simply rule the world? Blot out the sun? Make a zombie army?
I just realized that I actually do plan to destroy television if the opportunity arises.
Comments
I would use Giant robots to attack the countries of earth making them unite to fight as one force and stop bickering over their space elevators... oh wait. never mind.
Actually most of my evil plans aren't really that evil. Who would it hurt if all of Celine Dion's music was erased from existence?
Step 2. Pay Geologist to fabricate mineral deposit study. Also have him do a real mineral deposit study but keep that for future reference.
Step 3. Get Venture Capitalists to give money by showing them fake mineral deposit study.
Step 4. Hire minions. Sterilize them and give them medication and psychotherapy to reduce their sex drive and increase their aggression during combat.
Step 5. Venture capitalists die in unfortunate accident during a demonstration of new explosive mining techniques.
Step 6. Invest part of the money in real estate and overseas/domestic technology developers (such as college robotics labs)
Step 7. Complete building the mountain base.
Step 8. Create a front company which specializes in technology and weapons development. Possibly buy the iRobot company.
Step 9. Hire said college students to design and create weapons, robotic drones, and new communications systems. Be sure to create a hidden remote deactivation feature.
Step 10. Place operatives within the government in positions as low as mail clerk to as high as senators. Seeding in such a diverse manner ensures significant influence.
Step 11. Acquire military contracts for such weapons, drones, and communication systems.
Step 12. Wait until the military is heavily saturated with the products, Then steadily increase the price over 10-15 years.
Step 13. Hire Emily or some other 3D artists to create a virtual person to use when extorting the various governments. Quality akin or superior to Final Fantasy: Spirits Within or Beowulf
Step 14. Purchase major media outlets such as News Corp and use the influence of the media to seed dissent and anger towards the current government in the masses.
Step 15. Hire scientists of the appropriate specialties to create laser and energy weapons for use in my army of minions.
Thats a summary of what I've got so far. Of course this all in jest.
I'd be one of those scientists who makes chimeras and turns people into animals and stuff. My secret plan would be to genetically engineer super smart animals that look like regular animals but have human intelligence, and work with them to really confuse the human race. They'd be all "OMG the animals are smart and the rats are writing revolutionary graffiti on the subway walls and the horses are holding a protest!" And then before they could retaliate my army of beast people would come walking in and people would be all like, OMG fuzzy aliens, and I (with my L-detective set up, faceless broadcasting over the internet) would be like hahaha, give me all your money, and people would think my chimera soldiers were furries from space and be so scared they would give me all the moolah. Then I would establish my utopian society and make everything wonderful.
No, actually I would just make coordinators. I would make super humans with perfect healthy dna, and make them so they weren't as aggressive as normal humans, increase their compassion and intelligence. Their genetics would be a perfect mix of male and female traits and they would have no set gender, like the aliens from The Left Hand of Darkness. The humans would hate the coordinators, but I would release a virus that sterilizes people but otherwise leaves them unharmed. The coordinators would be immune. Humans could still contribute DNA to make coordinator babies, but they would gradually decrease and the earth would be run by the coordinator humans living in perfect harmony and solving everything with science and kindness.
Muahahaha
Anyway... Apply Now!
Using the robotic technologies already developed and the industrial might at my disposal, I will begin the next phase of my Grand Vision. Under the guise of weather and communication satellites, modular and self-directed components of an interplanetary space fleet of drones will assemble in orbit. Comprised of mining robots and a massive constructor ship, they will be sent to the asteroid belt and begin the work of constructing a robotic factory. These Von Neumann machines will gather the resources needed to build more of their ilk from the surrounding detritus of failed planets. From this graveyard of unfulfilled potential, far from the prying eyes of my enemies, shall rise the metal phoenix of my ambitions.
While laying down the foundations of my robot empire, I will endeavor to keep Earth's attention focused on events at home, to keep the stupid masses glued to their TV's with inane drivel and the intelligent with global crises of an economic and environmental nature.
Once the asteroid bases at the system La Grange Points are secured, more robot factory seeds will be sent to the Oort Cloud to begin their work beyond any interference. But these factories will not only be concerned with self-replication. They will be loaded with the designs for warships, the beginnings of a legion.
Meanwhile, on Earth, I will decommission and mothball my secret island base and move operations to somewhere closer to an industrial complex. I will then use the money saved on maintenance to fund developments in hibernation and cryotechnology for extended space flight. I will also advance biotechnology to the point where artificial wombs that allow for a human to be conceived, grown, and birthed in a completely lab-controlled environment becomes a technological reality. Once achieved, I will begin construction of my interplanetary spaceship, a craft of truly colossal proportions. I will take my leave of Earth for my bases in the asteroid belt, my heir taking form in the bowels of my ship.
From my bastions deep within the Trojans will I wage my war against Earth, starting with a cloud of rock and debris to orbit the planet, a wrathful wave of stone to clear the skies of Man's satellites. I will have at my disposal the Armories of Jove, untold thousands of missile left over from the chaos from which our system was born, to fling down upon those who have failed to become worthy of our Human Legacy. There shall be no forgiveness as cosmic hammers, nudged along their courses by ion engines assembled by robot manipulators, slam down into the cities of the world. Who shall take the time to appreciate the gifts that I have bestowed, of the sunrises and sunsets not seen since Krakatoa?
When Nagisa asks, "What is Earth?" as we look upon the vastness of the stars, I will point to a small terrarium I would have built for this purpose. "Earth is Man's cradle, our birth planet. It is where we were forged, in the crucible of a violent planet, tempered with unending competition for our place as its supreme rulers. Time and again we were close to the edge of extinction, standing above the Abyss where all those before us had fallen. But we persevered, we fought, dragged ourselves away from the cliff of annihilation and prospered. It is a battlefield upon which we triumphed. But most importantly, that jewel of blue and green hanging in the void, is our homeworld, the Holy Land of Terra." And as a human, as a child of Earth-Descended Man, she will understand.
If the nations of Earth can withstand my assault from the Heavens, if they can muster the courage, the will, the need for vengeance required to challenge my control of the gravity well, then they will have a hard fight to topple me from my throne. But I have faith, that they will rise to the occasion; that they will find, deep down, the indomitable human spirit which crushes its enemies to see them driven before it and laments only that it could not cause more pain. And when the final defensive barriers of my fortress are breached, two ships will escape from the blossoming flower of a man-made miniature sun. One will carry my heir to my old island stronghold, so that she may experience first-hand a sunrise on Earth. The other will carry me towards the Oort Cloud, where my Legions await. Then, depending on how Mankind progresses, I will send my Legions further out into the galaxy to replicate, evolve, and eliminate all life; or prosecute a Jihad against Man, destroying space colonies and once again turning Jove's Armories into the instruments of my wrath.
I still think one groan to arms works best.
And Sonic, great, I'll apply, I'll just have to properly word my skill list. I'll try to gather a few zambah (zombie) friends to sign up. [shouts]Onewild![/shouts]
You do have to create a proper zambahfication serum. Can't start before that.
And Scott, if you made the Tropic of Cancer higher it would be colder right now.
Now that I think about it, this plan might be able to be achieved with some shifting of tectonic plates rather than tilting of the globe.
Also, if they don't stop to take down an escape pod that's coming straight at them, well, they must have more important things to do than shoot at a lifeboat ejected from the stronghold of their nemesis.
I don't have one. Maybe it's just my current mood, but usually I don't want to take over the world. I hate being the leader of small groups in classes (which, I must add, I take automatically...) - I can only imagine how much I'd hate being a tyrant of the world...
From that I deduct that you are a very evil father.