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What would you do if you got transported to the middle ages?

AprecheApreche
edited June 2008 in Everything Else
There's an interesting discussion going down, so I thought we could expand on it. You get teleported to the year 1000 in Europe with a typical middle ages situation. You have nothing but your clothes and your knowledge. What do you do?
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Comments

  • jccjcc
    Die quickly. :)
  • CremlianCremlian
    edited June 2008
    I would get the FUCK out of there. Who wants to live in middle ages Europe, not I. If I find that I am stuck, I would befriend a "doctor" and introduce Basic Antibiotics, Germ Theory and Sterile Techniques. (I don't believe Evolution or DNA would be really useful at this point to talk much.)

    Now that I am know for my great theories and ability to save lives. I would talk with the blacksmith about Steam power (specifically for Trains and boats) and how to industrialize the trade. For the common peasant, I'd introduce some of the card games that have not been created yet.

    If all these didn't get me killed, I'd be pretty damn set up.. I can't even begin to talk about how just my simple knowledge would be a boon to all around. However not being able to speak the language would be a big hindrance.
    Post edited by Cremlian on
  • simesime
    Head to a little village not unlike Doc Hollywood, find myself a pretty lass, settle down, grow some grapes, make a little wine, make a little love. Then every year at some sort of harvest festival, during the talent show, I can entertain them with my fantastical tales, pillaging all the great stories I enjoyed as a child. What more could you ask for? Apart from all the sweet stuff we have now, but you know what I mean.

    I just read some of the incredibly well researched and knowledgeable answers on the linked site. I think I'll take any one of those that is over a paragraph long if mine fails. They were quite good.
  • HMTKSteveHMTKSteve
    Look up the local power structure and team up with them. Doing otherwise would likely result in getting yourself killed if you tried to exploit your advanced knowledge..
  • ......
    (I don't believe Evolution or DNA would be really useful at this point to talk much.)
    Wouldn't telling about evolution result in death?

    I have no idea what I would do.
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    As a female, I would be left few options. I would probably have to marry someone and work in their profession with them, or join a Convent. As I would have my teeth, have no pox marks, and can read I would probably be a good catch or be a good choice for an Abbess. However, if I was transported in the clothes I am wearing now, I would probably be shunned/stoned, so new clothes would be the first point of order. If at all possible, I would find some kind of employment and set myself up with a small home out in no-man's land and write a memoir.
  • bertinabertina
    Eep... to create a time paradox, or to not create a time paradox?

    My first reaction, though, was a lot like 'die'. Because, you know, I'm a total wimp. And an anemic vegetarian.
  • RymRym
    God... My answer will require at least a few pages, and possibly a wiki.
  • KieyKiey
    Die quickly. :)
    Of some horrible disease.
  • JasonJason
    Modern man in the past is boned. You have no rudimentary skills. You do not have the required muscle mass. You would think you could invent gun powder or a steam engine, but face it: You don't even really know how to make peanut butter.

    Modern man takes all of its advancements for granted. You can't weave denim; you wouldn't know how to make and temper steel even if you could miraculously find and excavate the necessary deposits; you don't even really speak the language (because in 1,000 AD we're talking still about a mix of Frankish and Norman tribal grunting).

    The bottom line: A person in 2008 has no real, primal survival skills. All you know how to do is game an existing social structure that is so far evolved as to be unrecognizable to the feudal system.
  • CremlianCremlian
    Modern man in the past is boned. You have no rudimentary skills. You do not have the required muscle mass. You would think you could invent gun powder or a steam engine, but face it: You don't even really know how to make peanut butter.

    Modern man takes all of its advancements for granted. You can't weave denim; you wouldn't know how to make and temper steel even if you could miraculously find and excavate the necessary deposits; you don't even really speak the language (because in 1,000 AD we're talking still about a mix of Frankish and Norman tribal grunting).

    The bottom line: A person in 2008 has no real, primal survival skills. All you know how to do is game an existing social structure that is so far evolved as to be unrecognizable to the feudal system.
    While I agree with you on the language and muscle mass. I think you underestimate the amount of science we as common citizens have a practical grasp of that would be helpful in the middle ages. Obviously I would be hard pressed to give detailed information on a large range of topics, but for example, as I mentioned earlier, just teaching Sterile technique in the middle ages would save tons of people. Just knowledge of the scientific method would be a boon. True, I might not have the process of creating gun powder worked out in my head, but I know it exists and have a basic idea. Not having to come up with it from scratch is half way there. At least you would be able to start with a concept. Steam power is not that hard, from there you can generate electricity. Just the social and economic theory that most of us have a handle on would be extremely useful. Knowing that a assemblyline is more efficient then one person making the whole product would speed of production insanely. The things we take for granted, most people have some understanding of that would be able to be translated into a more primative form. However, the language barrier and the fact you might be killed as a heretic is a big set back.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited June 2008
    Die quickly. :)
    I think that this is the first thing that you've written that I agree with. Yes, you would die quickly.
    Modern man in the past is boned. You have no rudimentary skills. You do not have the required muscle mass. You would think you could invent gun powder or a steam engine, but face it: You don't even really know how to make peanut butter.

    Modern man takes all of its advancements for granted. You can't weave denim; you wouldn't know how to make and temper steel even if you could miraculously find and excavate the necessary deposits; you don't even really speak the language (because in 1,000 AD we're talking still about a mix of Frankish and Norman tribal grunting).

    The bottom line: A person in 2008 has no real, primal survival skills. All you know how to do is game an existing social structure that is so far evolved as to be unrecognizable to the feudal system.
    I agree with all this as well. I would like to think that I could go into a blacksmith's shop and make a go of it, since I know a lot about shoeing horses and horsemanship in general from years of growing up on a farm where my father's primary business was shoeing horses. However, all of that smithing knowledge requires modern forges and equipment, electricity, plastics, industrial grade leather, modern horse shoes and nails, and power tools. Also, everything I know about horses requires modern feed, modern barns, modern veterinary care, and modern tools. My learning curve might be better than another apprentice's, but that's still what I would have to be - an apprentice.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • ......
    Idea: Get a pot/bowl/whatever, fill it with water, begin stirring it with a wooden spoon and start babbling in a mix of modern Dutch, modern German, modern English and some modern French as to create the image that I'm some sort of magical person, and then start predicting all sorts of things that will happen, steam, electricity, etc, etc. That way slowly make a name for myself and work my way up to advisor/wizard for the local king and convince him to enforce all sorts of innovations. Sterilizing, steam, kick start aviation, the simple stuff Cremlian mentioned.
  • JasonJason
    myself, meet the burning stake.
  • AndrewAndrew
    myself, meet the burning stake.
    If he floats, he's the devil; if he drowns, he's clean.
  • ZeehatZeehat
    I'd have the time of my life.
  • ......
    edited June 2008
    myself, meet the burning stake.
    That is the most likely possibility yes, but there's little else I would be able to do. And besides, after freaking out that I suddenly lived in the middle ages, I'd have to get suitable clothing, and even after that I still need my glasses, so it depends on the local community where I strand, whether they'll accept me and my weird eye glass. And besides, I could claim I'm a prophet from God, that too could get me on the stake, but could also work in my favor.
    myself, meet the burning stake.
    If he floats, he's the devil; if he drowns, he's clean.
    What if I swim?
    Post edited by ... on
  • zombie a gogozombie a gogo
    If I got transported to the middle ages I would convince everyone to take a bath, 'cause man they would smell bad.
  • RymRym
    What if I swim?
    Devil.
  • VigaViga
    Depending where on Earth in the year 1000 I would be either:
    -made a servant
    -murdered
    -raped and then murdered

    If none of those things happen I can play the "I was sent by God." card and fix some things.

    Than again that is unlikely because the language is different. I would be fucking doomed.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited June 2008
    [J]ust teaching Sterile technique in the middle ages would save tons of people.
    That's an example of expecting too much modernity out of the middle age types. Even in relatiively modern times, vaccination was opposed by religious types because they thought that vaccination was thwarting God's Will. It's quite possible that the middle ages types would think the same thing of Sterile Technique. Also, consider the available tools. It might very well have been prohibitively expensive to use Sterile Technique.

    @myself - If you made those predictions, you would have had to wait about 800 years for them to come true. We're talking about 1000 AD here. Steam power didn't come into common use until the late 1700s.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • jccjcc
    Sheesh, guys. :) This is almost like indoor cats fantasizing about what they would do if they were abandoned, and how they'd become kings of the wild by introducing canned catfood, scoopable kitty litter, and the concept of "scatch the door to be let out".
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited June 2008
    Sheesh, guys. :) This is almost like indoor cats fantasizing about what they would do if they were abandoned, and how they'd become kings of the wild by introducing canned catfood, scoopable kitty litter, and the concept of "scatch the door to be let out".
    Damn. Another agreement. One of the comments in the link provided says to try to introduce an IUD, apparently to be sold. No one would have paid (or rather, bartered) anything for that! Another comment proposed setting up a wagon factory based on an assembly line system. Assembly lines are great for industrial societies, but people in 1000 would have just said, "I have this wagon my grandfather made. I can make one if this one ever wears out. Why would I need to have one from you?"

    Just as Mr. jcc says, the differences between us and the middle ages types are as profound as the differences between tame cats and feral cats. Our values are completely different. We might be able to use our greater knowledge to an advantage, but first we'd have to do some major recon and research to figure out just what their society valued and just where we might fit into that society.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • AprecheApreche
    The trick here is to find some way to use the knowledge you have, but none of the equipment, to get ahead. Many people have the right idea with things like steam engines and whatnot which are relatively simple equipment that can be manufactured without advanced prerequisites. Thinking along these lines, I have come up with some ideas.

    First idea is to get magnets. Once you have magnets, it's not hard to make compasses, electric motors, turbines, etc. I could bring about navigation about 300 years early, and electric light and telephones 1000 years early. Who needs to bother with steam engines that might explode? A turbine is easy to make with some magnets and a water-wheel from a mill. Also I can beat Columbus to the West and make nice with the Aztecs and Incas, but still take their gold.

    Another idea is to make lenses. Spectacles are only a few hundred years away, and glass blowing is definitely possible. If I am the only person who can make spectacles, I'll become fabulously wealthy from selling them to all the nobles and selling 'scopes and binoculars to the navies and armies. With that money I can finance the aforementioned journey to the west.

    Also, even without a map, my knowledge of geography and history will give me the ability to easily find many lost treasures. I can get to Egypt before looters raid the Pyramids and Sphinx. I can own the diamond mines in Africa. I can own the oil wells of the middle east. They already had mining technology, and rudimentary pumping and drilling are not beyond my abilities.

    If you think too far into the future every invention, like a computer or a television, will be impossible because there are too many prerequisite inventions necessary. It's impossible to make an integrated circuit without a fab. You need to look at the inventions that were made soon after the time you arrive in. If you arrive in the 1700s, invent photography a century in advance. If you arrive in the early 1900s, bust out the transistor to beat the vacuum tube. If you arrive in the 70s or 80s, get some Internets on those Apple // machines. If you arrive in the 1000s, aim for the inventions of the 1100-1500s.
  • RymRym
    edited June 2008
    I can get to Egypt before looters raid the Pyramids and Sphinx.
    The pyramids were looted long before 1000AD, and there's nothing in the Sphinx to loot. The Greeks studied them as ancient history...
    Post edited by Rym on
  • AprecheApreche
    The pyramids were looted long before 1000AD, and there's nothing in the Sphinx to loot. The Greeks studied them as ancient history...
    Wow, you're right. According to Wikipedia, King Tut was robbed within months of the initial burial.

    Another problem with the 1000s is that a lot of the treasures to loot don't exist yet. Da Vinci is still a few centuries away. However, there are some, such as the Venus de Milo which are ripe for plucking. I'm sure that I will have no problem finding the good graces of kings and queens if I always sail out and return with the world's greatest treasures every time.

    Also, advancing agriculture is really easy for just about anybody. Even without miracle-gro, I'm sure just about any non-moron could get some better irrigation and fertilization going on up ins. There are also many edible things which were not discovered yet. If you made it to the west, you could bring about the popularity of the peanut centuries in advance.

    Also, I would make some tapestries. There'd be a lot of free time in the year 1000 that needed killing. Tapestry is something I can manage.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    First idea is to get magnets. Once you have magnets, it's not hard to make compasses, electric motors, turbines, etc. I could bring about navigation about 300 years early, and electric light and telephones 1000 years early. Who needs to bother with steam engines that might explode? A turbine is easy to make with some magnets and a water-wheel from a mill. Also I can beat Columbus to the West and make nice with the Aztecs and Incas, but still take their gold.
    The answer to which is that the economy of the time would not know what to do with such things. The state of navigation was fine for what they wanted and needed to do. You might get somewhere inventing the compass, but they didn't need longitude for the type of navigation they were doing. I think that electric light and telephony would simply not make any sense to them other than as an application of magic and might get you killed as a witch.
    Another idea is to make lenses. Spectacles are only a few hundred years away, and glass blowing is definitely possible. If I am the only person who can make spectacles, I'll become fabulously wealthy from selling them to all the nobles and selling 'scopes and binoculars to the navies and armies. With that money I can finance the aforementioned journey to the west.
    That would be a better idea.
    Also, even without a map, my knowledge of geography and history will give me the ability to easily find many lost treasures. I can get to Egypt before looters raid the Pyramids and Sphinx. I can own the diamond mines in Africa. I can own the oil wells of the middle east. They already had mining technology, and rudimentary pumping and drilling are not beyond my abilities.
    If you had the diamond mines, who would work them? Would the mining tools (that is, those required for diamonds) be available? How would you cut them? How would you get the diamonds back to Europe? How can you be sure that Europeans of the time would even want them?

    If you owned the middle east, how would you know where to pump? Who would you get to work the pumps? What would you do with the oil once it was pumped? How would you refine it? How would you transport it? Who would buy it?
  • CremlianCremlian
    That's an example of expecting too much modernity out of the middle age types. Even in relatiively modern times,vaccination was opposed by religious typesbecause they thought that vaccination was thwarting God's Will. It's quite possible that the middle ages types would think the same thing of Sterile Technique. Also, consider the available tools. It might very well have been prohibitively expensive to use Sterile Technique.
    I think your underestimating what points of sterile technique these people are ignorant too.. Simply teaching how to distill water and properly clean medical equipment (bone saws and the like)... I mean I don't think you realize how ignorant people were about sterile technique, I'm not talking plastic gloves and vaccum hoods here...
  • Luke BurrageLuke Burrage
    God... My answer will require at least a few pages, and possibly a wiki.
    Mine too. This is a topic I think about all the time.

    So much, in fact, that it is a guide I use in life all the time. Whenever I'm learning something or reading about something, I always want to know I understand it completely. The measure I use is "If I was transported back in time to before this was invented/created/thought of/etc would I understand it enough to recreat the technology/idea/method."

    As for having no physical skills, this may be true for computer geeks. But there are plenty of skills I've learned over the years; for example, I know how to build dry stone walls, I can hunt, kill, skin and prepare food, I can throw knives... loads more too. My main skill would be juggling though. I'm sure if I could juggle 5 swords people would presume my fighting skills would match, and nobody would pick a fight.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    Also, advancing agriculture is really easy for just about anybody. Even without miracle-gro, I'm sure just about any non-moron could get some better irrigation and fertilization going on up ins.
    Think again. The agriculture they had going was about optimal for the conditions of the time. Three-field crop rotation might be a good inovation, but does anyone know how to do this without researching it?
    If you made it to the west, you could bring about the popularity of the peanut centuries in advance.
    That's a pretty big "if". I submit that if you had the resouces to get to the New World, you wouldn't need to pursue any further innovation. You'd already be pretty wealthy.
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