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My Girlfriend Believes In Magic, What Should I do?
Ok so my girlfriend who I previously believed to be relatively well grounded just told me she's a Wiccan. She says she doesn't believe in all of what the Wikipedia page says, but has performed ''rituals'' which involve ''the ritual knife'', ''the candle'' (which has to be the right colour) and a ''book of shadows''.
She accepts that ''Wiccans believe in magic that can be manipulated through the form of witchcraft or sorcery. Wiccans cast spells through the form of ritual practices'' and that she once cast a spell and it worked. When pressed she said ''well basically a friend had trouble with family so i just thought i could try and it worked''
She's very reluctant to discuss what she believes or what it involves at all. When I mentioned the James Randi Challenge she simply replied ''Wicca is great but if you don't believe in it you won't see it. It's that simple''
So what should I do? Should I just leave her to it even though I find it quite disturbing and ridiculous? Should I try and change her mind? Any suggestions how? In the long run will I be able to stay with someone who has such fundamentally different views?
She accepts that ''Wiccans believe in magic that can be manipulated through the form of witchcraft or sorcery. Wiccans cast spells through the form of ritual practices'' and that she once cast a spell and it worked. When pressed she said ''well basically a friend had trouble with family so i just thought i could try and it worked''
She's very reluctant to discuss what she believes or what it involves at all. When I mentioned the James Randi Challenge she simply replied ''Wicca is great but if you don't believe in it you won't see it. It's that simple''
So what should I do? Should I just leave her to it even though I find it quite disturbing and ridiculous? Should I try and change her mind? Any suggestions how? In the long run will I be able to stay with someone who has such fundamentally different views?
Comments
Seriously, break it to her slowly, if she still refuses to accept reality, try talking about something you know she considers to be bullshit, then connect it to wicca. Skeptoid has an episode on this, very recent even. As for the long run, it depends on what kind of person you are, but, seeing as you said you find said believe to be disturbing and ridiculous, I doubt that would go over well. Good luck, I'll go grab the Skeptoid epEDIT: Got it. "How to be a Skeptic and still have friends".
Perhaps just try to talk to her about it and let her know that if she wants to talk about it in an open discussion, you will do so. It might also help if you were to give her some resources about it if she is not fully educated about all the aspects of Wicca. It's positive encouragement, however it could reinforce her to believe in it either more or less.
Other questions you should be asking yourself: "How much does this bother you?" or "Do you think you can still be with her even though she believes in something you don't believe in?" You can only answer that one, yourself. Just weigh the pros and cons and go from there.
Just kidding - couldn't resist the set-up.
Honestly, I'm not sure why it bothers you so much if she's reluctant to talk about it and it doesn't really come between you much. I once dated a guy that I later found out was a creationist...but that wasn't what came between us. It was the obviously unintelligent illogical way he approached other, more important things. So the main question is whether it's causing a problem in your relationship.
I'm not Wiccan, but I do believe in energy. You can do things to your body via meditation and visualization. If peaopl want to couch it in terms of magic, I don't care as long as they don't go all crazy psycho on me. Granted, there are crazy psychos out there. But not all Wiccans are like that.
The odds are that you'll never convince her otherwise. Spiritual beliefs are inherently irrational things, so trying to get someone to disavow them using logic is sort of a useless endeavor. If she's totally rational and grounded about everything else, then maybe it's not too bad.
oop, Starfox got the jump on me.
Anyway, if you really like her you should continue dating her. Love can overcome many obstacles.
Unless she drinks your blood and cast spells on your friends/enemies. (True story with a friend and my BFF has a "spell" on her)
Yes, I call the chemical processes energy. After all, chemistry/physics very much relies on changing energy from one form into another. If you don't believe energy has anything to do with chemistry, you need to go back to high school.
And Starfox, I never said it was magic. I don't believe magic exists. I said if some people want to CALL it magic, I'm not going to blow my shit over it unless they somehow become harmful. You don't see a lot of Wiccans out lynching people who don't agree with their beliefs.
She was jealous of my BFF *Ceilia because *Kalvin was really into her. She hated her and my crew because we all liked *Ceilia. This resulted in arguments and intrigue and many "spells" being casted. I laughed at this on a semi regular basis. She's kinda like the level of fanboy in the other thread except for wicca and not so much anime.
*Names changed to protect the not so innocent
Creepy. Just plain creepy.
Long story short (I didn't make it that short sorry), she told me about this wikka thing, but when I asked her why she does it. She told me that she used it to just calm down and get all of her nervousness to go away. She didn’t think it worked, but mind over matter, it helped her get through stressful tests or confrontations and gave her strength to go on past bad things.
Even though this was a crutch that seemed kind of unnecessary I felt that was fine... until she cast black magic on ex best friend she got into a fight with.
She then denied ever saying it and said if I can't accept that she can talk to the dead and do magic then I am closed minded. I even sent her the wiki on why wiji boards work. I offered to prove it to her by her side, but she wouldn’t believe it... because her past life told her she was a fairy and all of her friends that she has were her friends in a past life and they were all meant to be together. (Side note: Even though they all hated each other and made each other cry on a weekly basis.)
Let’s just say, there are times when you just don't care anymore... and this is one of them. 1 week after I broke up with her she was engaged to some guy she never met before. (She brought him before me when we saw each other at a convention I imagine to make me jealous)I wonder if they are married yet.
So I can't say I have had a positive experience with the religion, and I even read up on it. She gave me books, and I took them. They are very creepy when you read between the lines. They focus on making you find other wikka for no one else will understand you. Not your parents or anyone... but don't ever stop practicing, because your special.
Oh yeah she also spent $200 on a wand to channel her magic energy through it... and she complained on how she doesn't have enough money for college. But that’s my rant on an ex of mine, hope you all enjoyed it.
For instance, a double blind is a good way to start: [not sure if this is a good example] ask her for the list of ingredients required for a ritual and switch out one of them for something that is physically indistinguishable. Wait until the ritual has been completed and she has, herself, be assured that it has gone right, then present her with the evidence that it couldn't possibly have gone right according to her methodology and that she's just making it up.
As for the energy thing.. If you go into a bit more detail the forum will be able to help you see how your mind might be trying to rationalize things in a way that makes sense on base level but breaks apart with a few well based questions.
It's important not to feel bad about it, pretty much everyone on this forum was brought up to believe something or other and we've all been through this.
Her and Janeisha should probably meet and be friends. XD
@ Omnutia
That sounds like a good plan. Double blind tests worked in other circumstances.
Not helpful advice but I make myself giggle for like 10 minutes before I even opened the thread.