I would wait until you move out on your own. That way you wont have to have so much burden and strife. I waited to tell my family the truth when I moved out. Surprisingly the atheism overshadows the bi-ness. Apparently one is worst than other with them.
Anyway, get a job. Save some cash to get out when you're 18. Talk about roommating with a friend. And maybe your uncle isn't a super bad idea.
Fuck man, what did you do in your previous life that got you wound up like this?
You can't do much other than just ignore the homophobia. People being morons isn't something new.
End up like what? What is so bad about being gay that it is a "punishment". The only thing that sucks is other people. The best way to deal with homophobia is to remember that you don't have a problem, the homophobes do. I would highly, highly recommend that you move out as soon as is possible. Until then, hang in there and be strong. Tell them or don't. Pick what is best for you. Do you have any family members or friends that could take you in?
End up like what? What is so bad about being gay that it is a "punishment". The only thing that sucks is other people. The best way to deal with homophobia is to remember that you don't have a problem, the homophobes do.
I think he was implying, to end up living with such people.
End up like what? What is so bad about being gay that it is a "punishment". The only thing that sucks is other people. The best way to deal with homophobia is to remember that you don't have a problem, the homophobes do.
I think he was implying, to end up living with such people.
He could also have meant "wound up" as in tense and agitated.
End up like what? What is so bad about being gay that it is a "punishment".
GAH!? I feel like the person in various anime that gets knocked over by the comment from the airhead. I know this is the internet, but still. Still, *manly tears* NOT EVERY LETTER HAS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! *end manly tears* For starters, it's a comment from one atheist, to a fellow homosexual-DON'T GET STRANGE IDEAS VIGA!-, (vegan), atheist, (who votes Democratic), who lives in a homophobic, (fanatically meat-eating), strict Christian family, (who vote Republican).
End up like what? What is so bad about being gay that it is a "punishment".
GAH!? I feel like the person in various anime that gets knocked over by the comment from the airhead. I know this is the internet, but still. Still, *manly tears* NOT EVERY LETTER HAS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! *end manly tears* For starters, it's a comment from one atheist, to a fellow homosexual-DON'T GET STRANGE IDEAS VIGA!-, (vegan), atheist, (who votes Democratic), who lives in a homophobic, (fanatically meat-eating), strict Christian family, (who vote Republican).
Please note that I already said "Ah, okay." When someone explained what you meant instead of what you literally said. I do not know much about you and could not put your statement into any context beyond what you literally said. I think you can understand my reaction, having seen so many people that claim to be supportive of the homosexual lifestyle, but actually see it as an affliction. Also,equating me to an airhead is way off base.
My brother is just as crazy, and I believe he has begun to suspect,
He knows. I can't figure out how, because I've taken great care to safeguard myself. He hasn't told my parents, although he has threatened to do so. I still don't have a job, but I am looking. What now?
You could deny it or pretend to be straight (as in having one of your female friends pose as your girlfriend or something), come clean and take the consequences, let your brother tell them and see what they do, let your brother tell them and come out, let your brother tell them and deny it, move out, or join the Peace Corps or the military or something.
If worst comes to worst, there's a number of LGBT shelters for those who have been kicked out of their homes. They could help you get on your feet and support yourself. This, of course, is a last-ditch effort, if your parents are 100% un-accepting of your presence in the house.
EDIT: given the situation, you probably don't want to join the military.
I say you come out to your parents. I know it's hard, and I have no experience that this would be a good idea. But even worse than hearing it from you would be for them to hear it from your brother. The other suggestions are okay, but lying probably isn't the best situation because it is a lie; quite simply, if it is not true, there is always a way for the truth to be uncovered. Also, suggest to your parents the idea that Jesus would want them to love you, despite being a sinner. If they argue that he wouldn't love you, then you can probably find some easy passages that point out otherwise. I dunno, it probably won't work. But using their religion to help you could be effective, if done properly.
Given the situation, I think it's better to lie and stay at home than out the truth and be kicked out. Link's already deceiving them, and one more layer to protect, essentially, the rest of his life (and yes, being kicked out of your home is something that could potentially ruin your life).
Two more solutions I've come up with in the meantime are beat the shit out of your brother, or bribe the shit out of your brother.
EDIT: Also, you could wait. This might be an idle threat on your brother's part to try and extort things from you.
Also, suggest to your parents the idea that Jesus would want them to love you, despite being a sinner. If they argue that he wouldn't love you, then you can probably find some easy passages that point out otherwise. I dunno, it probably won't work. But using their religion to help you could be effective, if done properly.
I mean no offense when I say this, Axel, but that is not acceptable. My parents believe I am secretly a believer who is just "angry at god." These statements would only serve to convince them I need saving, when I clearly do not. Thanks anyway. Also, I am no "sinner". I will not sacrifice my pride for just a little safety (within reason, that is).
Given the situation, I think it's better to lie and stay at home than out the truth and be kicked out. Link's already deceiving them, and one more layer to protect, essentially, the rest of his life (and yes, being kicked out of your home is something that could potentially ruin your life).
Two more solutions I've come up with in the meantime are beat the shit out of your brother, or bribe the shit out of your brother.
I suppose. Starfox's suggestion is actually pretty good, though. I would go with that, in your situation. Of course, if he can prove you're gay, then it'll just make everything worse. If you can manage, take your brother to a place where your parents can't hear you, and ask him why he would do this. If you can resolve whatever issue he has with you that would cause this problem, then it could save you a lot of grief.
Also, suggest to your parents the idea that Jesus would want them to love you, despite being a sinner. If they argue that he wouldn't love you, then you can probably find some easy passages that point out otherwise. I dunno, it probably won't work. But using their religion to help you could be effective, if done properly.
I mean no offense when I say this, Axel, but that is not acceptable. My parents believe I am secretly a believer who is just "angry at god." These statements would only serve to convince them I need saving, when I clearly do not. Thanks anyway. Also, I am no "sinner". I will not sacrifice my pride for just a little safety (within reason, that is).
I am sorry if you took offense. I was saying that you could argue within the confines of the Bible. Argue that they're interpreting it wrong. Them hating you for being gay is really like them hating you for stealing a cookie. Just because it's not exactly what God wants doesn't mean you're a bad person, any more so than the rest of us. But, if this argument really holds no merit against them, then I understand.
Starfox's suggestion would, I think, be a temporary stopping measure at best.
One other solution is to fake "coming to the light", and "seek help" for your "condition".
Problem is, they might be doubtful and send him to a camp, which him denying wanting to go to would be suspicious. Unless you want them to work, those camps are bad news.
Are your parents the types who would send you off to be "fixed"?
My dad would.
If you can manage, take your brother to a place where your parents can't hear you, and ask him why he would do this. If you can resolve whatever issue he has with you that would cause this problem, then it could save you a lot of grief.
He says he hates gay people, and that is all. The usual Leviticus argument.
Are your parents the types who would send you off to be "fixed"?
My dad would.
If you can manage, take your brother to a place where your parents can't hear you, and ask him why he would do this. If you can resolve whatever issue he has with you that would cause this problem, then it could save you a lot of grief.
He says he hates gay people, and that is all. The usual Leviticus argument.
Right, well...Okay. Telling your parents that he's gay would deflect the situation off you for a while, then, I'd imagine.
I was thinking more like bribing a therapist or someone who looks like one to tell his parents he's being treated by him for "the gay", then leaving the house for an hour or two every few days to "go to therapy".
Either way, you're going to have to lie or come clean to get out of this situation. Either figure out how best to out yourself and deal with it, or how best to lie/bribe/beat your way through until you are able to support yourself.
Bribing people requires money, time, and the knowledge that they won't betray you. I'm not sure, if he's in a situation where not living with his parents is possibly life-ruining, if he has those resources available.
I was thinking more like bribing a therapist or someone who looks like one to tell his parents he's being treated by him for "the gay", then leaving the house for an hour or two every few days to "go to therapy".
I haven't seen her in a couple years, but my Intro to Sociology professor is a straight ally. If I see her, I'll bring this idea up. I'm sure she'd forgo the "bribe."
Bribery is a dangerous situation in terms of information leaks, because you are trusting them to not blackmail you with it. As a temporary solution, though, it might work. It does not, however, involve much time.
Bribery is a dangerous situation in terms of information leaks, because you are trusting them to not blackmail you with it. As a temporary solution, though, it might work. It does not, however, involve much time.
Well, you have to find time to contact them, set up the plan, and meet with them and such. In the case that his brother knows, time is limited, and therefore his chance of pulling that plan off is difficult, compared to the other plans, which he could do at any time.
If your brother knows, your parents will soon know too. You can't avoid it . Blaming your brother won't help since you don't know how he found out. If he's mature enough, ask him if he understands the destructive consequences his actions would have on you. Ask him if he's ready to loss a brother.
Try consulting someone with actual experience. There should be an active LGBT group near you (I hope), who could offer local help. How long would it take until you start collage - couple of months? A year? Could you lean on a temporary solution?
It's time to renew the backup plan, and think about the small details of executing it. Call your uncle, at least consult him. He knows your family, and could give you a lot of inside information about the family, which could help you decide what to do next.
How long would it take until you start collage - couple of months? A year?
I'm 21 and a senior. I've a year and a half to go.
If your brother knows, your parents will soon know too. You can't avoid it.
I know. I'm scared. I'll try to call my uncle and see if he can help. In the meantime, my best option is to call one of my maternal aunts and see if they'll let me stay a few days. A permanent solution may be a long time in coming.
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I would wait until you move out on your own. That way you wont have to have so much burden and strife. I waited to tell my family the truth when I moved out. Surprisingly the atheism overshadows the bi-ness. Apparently one is worst than other with them.
Anyway, get a job. Save some cash to get out when you're 18. Talk about roommating with a friend. And maybe your uncle isn't a super bad idea.
I would highly, highly recommend that you move out as soon as is possible. Until then, hang in there and be strong. Tell them or don't. Pick what is best for you. Do you have any family members or friends that could take you in?
Also,equating me to an airhead is way off base.
If worst comes to worst, there's a number of LGBT shelters for those who have been kicked out of their homes. They could help you get on your feet and support yourself. This, of course, is a last-ditch effort, if your parents are 100% un-accepting of your presence in the house.
EDIT: given the situation, you probably don't want to join the military.
The other suggestions are okay, but lying probably isn't the best situation because it is a lie; quite simply, if it is not true, there is always a way for the truth to be uncovered.
Also, suggest to your parents the idea that Jesus would want them to love you, despite being a sinner. If they argue that he wouldn't love you, then you can probably find some easy passages that point out otherwise. I dunno, it probably won't work. But using their religion to help you could be effective, if done properly.
Two more solutions I've come up with in the meantime are beat the shit out of your brother, or bribe the shit out of your brother.
EDIT: Also, you could wait. This might be an idle threat on your brother's part to try and extort things from you.
If you can manage, take your brother to a place where your parents can't hear you, and ask him why he would do this. If you can resolve whatever issue he has with you that would cause this problem, then it could save you a lot of grief.
Them hating you for being gay is really like them hating you for stealing a cookie. Just because it's not exactly what God wants doesn't mean you're a bad person, any more so than the rest of us. But, if this argument really holds no merit against them, then I understand.
One other solution is to fake "coming to the light", and "seek help" for your "condition".
Telling your parents that he's gay would deflect the situation off you for a while, then, I'd imagine.
Either way, you're going to have to lie or come clean to get out of this situation. Either figure out how best to out yourself and deal with it, or how best to lie/bribe/beat your way through until you are able to support yourself.
Blaming your brother won't help since you don't know how he found out. If he's mature enough, ask him if he understands the destructive consequences his actions would have on you. Ask him if he's ready to loss a brother.
Try consulting someone with actual experience. There should be an active LGBT group near you (I hope), who could offer local help. How long would it take until you start collage - couple of months? A year?
Could you lean on a temporary solution?
It's time to renew the backup plan, and think about the small details of executing it. Call your uncle, at least consult him. He knows your family, and could give you a lot of inside information about the family, which could help you decide what to do next.