I think the more rural you go the more people are xenophobic and territorial, but the more urban you get the more you're desensitised to the constant mass of people around you.
In my experience, friendliness shown to you in the North may be more rare, but it's usually more tolerant and genuine than the perfunctory and often fake Southern friendliness.
I agree, and would like to address the "New Yorkers are unfriendly" idea specifically. Take the example of Taxicabs in NYC: If you don't bother them, they completely ignore you, but the instant you signal one it will be there. People will stay out of your way unless you engage them, at which time you will very likely find them amiable and professional. Contrast this with a more rural setting, say Rochester. The minute I got out of the train station I was nearly trampled by the mass of taxi drivers that wanted my business. They were rude, unprofessional, and loud.
Basically, urban people generally keep to themselves unless they have real information to exchange. Rural people bother the strangers around them with smalltalk.
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Basically, urban people generally keep to themselves unless they have real information to exchange. Rural people bother the strangers around them with smalltalk.