Actually, starting something with "What depresses me..." and ending it with "you all disgust me" was first done by me in the Cosplay thread. Granted, I was being serious. People doing the meme are mimicking what I said as a joke. Therefore, I started this, accidentally. And therefore, it is sorta making fun of me, since they don't take what I said seriously and are copying it to make fun of it. But whatever.
What depresses me is how this conversation about how awkward one can be around the opposite sex turned into meta-talk about a meme that is making it less funny by the second.
What depresses me is how I keep coming back to read more about a conversation about how awkward one can be around the opposite sex turning into meta-talk about a meme that is making it less funny by the second.
What depresses me as this started about why various members of the forum are attracted to people other than looks, and you've all derailed it with how disgusting you all find each other.
Okay, I'll just stop then, since there's really nothing more to be said on my comments, whether they involved the topic or not. You can go on talking about the actual point of the topic now.
It also helps if she has actual musical preferences. I know a lot of people who say "Oh, I listen to pretty much anything;"that, to me, signals somebody who lacks the confidence to have an opinion and to express that opinion.
This, this, and this.
I totally disagree with this. My musical preference depends on a ton of different things (mood, setting, time, etc.) and I say that I listen to pretty much everything because I do. Right now, if I didn't say that, I'd have to say I like acoustic, club, urban, trance, rock, house, eurobeat, and metal, and that doesn't even cover everything I'd listen to right now.
I didn't bother to post before, because everyone had kinda said all the important stuff anyway. But I realized there's one thing that no one mentioned -- rapport. Some people, no matter how much you have in common, no matter how much you should "work" on paper, you just don't. And then some other people, you can stay up all night talking the day you meet them, and do it every day for years. That's a really important thing.
It also helps if she has actual musical preferences. I know a lot of people who say "Oh, I listen to pretty much anything;"that, to me, signals somebody who lacks the confidence to have an opinion and to express that opinion.
This, this, and this.
I totally disagree with this. My musical preference depends on a ton of different things (mood, setting, time, etc.) and I say that I listen to pretty much everything because I do. Right now, if I didn't say that, I'd have to say I like acoustic, club, urban, trance, rock, house, eurobeat, and metal, and that doesn't even cover everything I'd listen to right now.
You missed the part about how it has nothing to do with music and everything to do with having an opinion.
Music is the vehicle that I commonly use to identify whether or not someone has an opinion. Generally speaking, if I meet a person that identifies as being a metalhead, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be meeting a person who has opinions on things. This is not always true, and the inverse is also not necessarily true (as in, just because someone doesn't have a preference doesn't mean they can't be interesting otherwise), but it's true, I would say, in a majority of cases.
I took a leap, and just sent a message to the girl I like, telling her I like her. I'm pretty sure she's gonna say she doesn't like me back, but I didn't lay it on too thick, so if she doesn't like me back, then it shouldn't affect things. I hope.
I took a leap, and just sent a message to the girl I like, telling her I like her. I'm pretty sure she's gonna say she doesn't like me back, but I didn't lay it on too thick, so if she doesn't like me back, then it shouldn't affect things. I hope.
Dude, good on you.
A better route next time might be to just casually ask her if she wants to go catch a movie or something. Go out, do fun things with her, and then tell her that you like her.
But still, good step. It's certainly worth a shot.
I took a leap, and just sent a message to the girl I like, telling her I like her. I'm pretty sure she's gonna say she doesn't like me back, but I didn't lay it on too thick, so if she doesn't like me back, then it shouldn't affect things. I hope.
Dude, good on you.
A better route next time might be to just casually ask her if she wants to go catch a movie or something. Go out, do fun things with her, andthentell her that you like her.
But still, good step. It's certainly worth a shot.
Well, we kinda had a conversation today, where I talked about liking someone, and basically told her about how I didn't want to jeopardize my friendship with the girl, that she didn't know was her. She told me I should be more confident. So, I sent her a message saying that she was that girl, and asking her if she wanted to do something some time.
I took a leap, and just sent a message to the girl I like, telling her I like her. I'm pretty sure she's gonna say she doesn't like me back, but I didn't lay it on too thick, so if she doesn't like me back, then it shouldn't affect things. I hope.
Dude, good on you.
A better route next time might be to just casually ask her if she wants to go catch a movie or something. Go out, do fun things with her, andthentell her that you like her.
But still, good step. It's certainly worth a shot.
Well, we kinda had a conversation today, where I talked about liking someone, and basically told her about how I didn't want to jeopardize my friendship with the girl, that she didn't know was her. She told me I should be more confident. So, I sent her a message saying that she was that girl, and asking her if she wanted to do something some time.
I gotta say I hate the "I'm talking about a girl I like but I'm really talking about you!" thing. It just shows me that you are too passive to tell me straight out "HEY! Let's grab a bite and hang because I like you!" or "You wanna go out on a date?" I like the straightforwardness because I AM NOT A MIND READER!
I took a leap, and just sent a message to the girl I like, telling her I like her. I'm pretty sure she's gonna say she doesn't like me back, but I didn't lay it on too thick, so if she doesn't like me back, then it shouldn't affect things. I hope.
Dude, good on you.
A better route next time might be to just casually ask her if she wants to go catch a movie or something. Go out, do fun things with her, andthentell her that you like her.
But still, good step. It's certainly worth a shot.
Well, we kinda had a conversation today, where I talked about liking someone, and basically told her about how I didn't want to jeopardize my friendship with the girl, that she didn't know was her. She told me I should be more confident. So, I sent her a message saying that she was that girl, and asking her if she wanted to do something some time.
I gotta say I hate the "I'm talking about a girl I like but I'm really talking about you!" thing. It just shows me that you are too passive to tell me straight out "HEY! Let's grab a bite and hang because I like you!" or "You wanna go out on a date?" I like the straightforwardness because I AM NOT A MIND READER!
Well, that's why I decided to just tell her. Because I felt bad about just saying crap like that. I was hoping that she wouldn't figure out, but rather that I would get more insight into her. Kind of a jerk move, really. Which is why I finally just decided to be honest.
I took a leap, and just sent a message to the girl I like, telling her I like her. I'm pretty sure she's gonna say she doesn't like me back, but I didn't lay it on too thick, so if she doesn't like me back, then it shouldn't affect things. I hope.
Dude, good on you.
A better route next time might be to just casually ask her if she wants to go catch a movie or something. Go out, do fun things with her, andthentell her that you like her.
But still, good step. It's certainly worth a shot.
Well, we kinda had a conversation today, where I talked about liking someone, and basically told her about how I didn't want to jeopardize my friendship with the girl, that she didn't know was her. She told me I should be more confident. So, I sent her a message saying that she was that girl, and asking her if she wanted to do something some time.
I gotta say I hate the "I'm talking about a girl I like but I'm really talking about you!" thing. It just shows me that you are too passive to tell me straight out "HEY! Let's grab a bite and hang because I like you!" or "You wanna go out on a date?" I like the straightforwardness because I AM NOT A MIND READER!
I kinda agree, but it's good that you asked her anyways. Good luck!
I gotta say I hate the "I'm talking about a girl I like but I'm really talking about you!" thing. It just shows me that you are too passive to tell me straight out "HEY! Let's grab a bite and hang because I like you!" or "You wanna go out on a date?" I like the straightforwardness because I AM NOT A MIND READER!
Ha ha ha. Well, yes, that is annoying. Another irritating thing about it is, if you do figure it out, how do you convey to them that you aren't interested (if that is the case)? After all, they haven't actually done anything to warrant a response. I remember it was an issue that was driving me crazy through high school and also one year in undergrad when these guys clearly had little crushes but never did enough to allow me to clarify our "relationship."
All the same, Axel-of-the-Key, props for doing something about it, though I do rather agree with TheWhaleShark that there might have been better ways of priming the point.
Get some confidence, express some desires, have some opinions, and then get back to me. It's part of being mature.
I have to say, on this note, while I personally agree with you, it goes to show how varied people's tastes are. Granted, some times I am intentionally over opinionated, but it is funny how effectively being openly opinionated can disconcert some guys. Not to be uber feminist on the point, but I do sometimes get the vibe that, while it's expected of men, women really needn't bother their pretty little heads with such concerns. I'm amused by how many guys really do just want a girl that looks good. (And, yes, that is why having opinions is not just mature but also an effective filter for finding other, equally mature people)
As for my own answer to the question:
I keep on asking myself what I'm looking for. I think I'm still too self centered to share any of my attention with another person. (That's my usual explanation when family members and family friends ask why I'm not dating/married/popping out kids yet. I find self deprecating humor disarms them.) I've tried dating a few guys this year to help me get a perspective, but I'm still confused. I figure, if it happens, it happens and there's no point in my ruining it with a checklist.
Well, she doesn't like me back. Can't say I'm surprised. I'm just glad I got this off my chest. I can move on now. So ends that saga of my life...Even the ends of possible romance for me are boring. I really do have no life.
I remember when I was this dramatic.. You get over it :-p
Yeah, I know. It's just that I liked her for a year. It was draining to just sit there and do nothing. Now that it's over, I feel like I've moved past something and can get on with my life.
Well, she doesn't like me back. Can't say I'm surprised. I'm just glad I got this off my chest. I can move on now. So ends that saga of my life...Even the ends of possible romance for me are boring. I really do have no life.
If it's any consolation prize, I am currently up to 10 failed attempts with no successes. You just have to keep on trying, there will eventually be some good.
Well, she doesn't like me back. Can't say I'm surprised. I'm just glad I got this off my chest. I can move on now. So ends that saga of my life...Even the ends of possible romance for me are boring. I really do have no life.
If it's any consolation prize, I am currently up to 10 failed attempts with no successes. You just have to keep on trying, there will eventually be some good.
It's not really consolation. I know there will be good, eventually... And at least you're trying. Having the confidence to get out there is half the battle.
Here is my "must haves" in romantic partners: - Someone that challenges me/helps me to be a better person. - Someone that has traits I aspire to have, but do not have. - Someone with a sense of humor that relies on more than jaded sarcasm. - Someone that shares some similar core values. - Someone independent enough that they do not require me for validation/constant support, but still includes me in their life. They should be able to be vulnerable and desire my support, but not need it every minute of every day. - Someone that feels my presence adds to their joy despite my flaws. - Someone that will love me enough to help me through chemo. - Someone that wants to be a parent and is willing to put the goal of good parenting above and beyond any other goal. - Someone I consider a close personal friend before I consider them a lover. - Someone that is involved in the Arts in some fashion. - Someone that is not defined by any one activity or interest.
Comments
You all disgust me.
I disgust me.
Jason disgusts me.
I disgust me.
You all disgust me.
I didn't bother to post before, because everyone had kinda said all the important stuff anyway. But I realized there's one thing that no one mentioned -- rapport. Some people, no matter how much you have in common, no matter how much you should "work" on paper, you just don't. And then some other people, you can stay up all night talking the day you meet them, and do it every day for years. That's a really important thing.
A better route next time might be to just casually ask her if she wants to go catch a movie or something. Go out, do fun things with her, and then tell her that you like her.
But still, good step. It's certainly worth a shot.
All the same, Axel-of-the-Key, props for doing something about it, though I do rather agree with TheWhaleShark that there might have been better ways of priming the point. I have to say, on this note, while I personally agree with you, it goes to show how varied people's tastes are. Granted, some times I am intentionally over opinionated, but it is funny how effectively being openly opinionated can disconcert some guys. Not to be uber feminist on the point, but I do sometimes get the vibe that, while it's expected of men, women really needn't bother their pretty little heads with such concerns. I'm amused by how many guys really do just want a girl that looks good. (And, yes, that is why having opinions is not just mature but also an effective filter for finding other, equally mature people)
As for my own answer to the question:
I keep on asking myself what I'm looking for. I think I'm still too self centered to share any of my attention with another person. (That's my usual explanation when family members and family friends ask why I'm not dating/married/popping out kids yet. I find self deprecating humor disarms them.) I've tried dating a few guys this year to help me get a perspective, but I'm still confused. I figure, if it happens, it happens and there's no point in my ruining it with a checklist.
I'm just glad I got this off my chest. I can move on now.
So ends that saga of my life...Even the ends of possible romance for me are boring. I really do have no life.
It's just that I liked her for a year. It was draining to just sit there and do nothing. Now that it's over, I feel like I've moved past something and can get on with my life.
And at least you're trying. Having the confidence to get out there is half the battle.
- Someone that challenges me/helps me to be a better person.
- Someone that has traits I aspire to have, but do not have.
- Someone with a sense of humor that relies on more than jaded sarcasm.
- Someone that shares some similar core values.
- Someone independent enough that they do not require me for validation/constant support, but still includes me in their life. They should be able to be vulnerable and desire my support, but not need it every minute of every day.
- Someone that feels my presence adds to their joy despite my flaws.
- Someone that will love me enough to help me through chemo.
- Someone that wants to be a parent and is willing to put the goal of good parenting above and beyond any other goal.
- Someone I consider a close personal friend before I consider them a lover.
- Someone that is involved in the Arts in some fashion.
- Someone that is not defined by any one activity or interest.