First and foremost, anybody I date has to be able to figure out what they need (and want) and stand up for it, even if the consequences might be scary, like breaking up. You earn a lot more respect from me by saying, "I need X, and I'm not getting it. We need to change the relationship or break it off," than by saying, "whatever you want honey...I will be the great martyr and suffer through it!"
Martyrs piss me off. I don't want to be with someone who is miserable in the relationship because they don't have the balls to pursue their own happiness. I also have issues with people who are too lazy to seek out knowledge and just make something up instead. Dated one of those awhile back...didn't last long.
So, to sum up...confidence, self-awareness, and assertiveness. And lack of stupid.
What about all the inside parts you like in a person you would date?
I don't know. I can't choose just one part, so I'll just go with someone who's a compatible donor for me. Yes, those are the best kind of insides, then we could trade kidneys.
I have trouble finding men willing to date me while I am in the closet.
I was actually about to recommend looking for other closeted guys, before I realized how flawed a notion that is. I don't know, man, it's a tough situation. I can understand why someone wouldn't want to date someone who intends to keep the relationship a secret. This may be one of those things you just need to wait out until you're ready to come out.
I really like philosophical people. I like a guy who's willing to question everything, and back up his opinion. Last night, I had an hour long conversation with a guy a like about clones (we just saw that movie Moon; check it out. It's pretty good). More so, if telling a clone that he is a clone is morally right. Even though there was essentially no point to the conversation, and we never really reached a consensus, it's enlightening hearing someone defend and explain their thoughts on a subject. I like guys who intrigue me.
This also probably is sort of weird, but I like guys who need their space. Seeing as I'm a rather independent person, I definitely need my alone time, and it's refreshing to meet a guy that doesn't expect much from you. I don't like seeing a relationship as an "obligation".
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Martyrs piss me off. I don't want to be with someone who is miserable in the relationship because they don't have the balls to pursue their own happiness. I also have issues with people who are too lazy to seek out knowledge and just make something up instead. Dated one of those awhile back...didn't last long.
So, to sum up...confidence, self-awareness, and assertiveness. And lack of stupid.
This also probably is sort of weird, but I like guys who need their space. Seeing as I'm a rather independent person, I definitely need my alone time, and it's refreshing to meet a guy that doesn't expect much from you. I don't like seeing a relationship as an "obligation".