Fail: Wrote a reply on how to interpret research data on how to understand basic graphs of information related to vaccines (and biology and general). It was promptly deleted despite being polite (as polite as I could force myself to be, anyway) and concise, probably because it kicked anti-vax in the ass within two paragraphs.
Booh-Yah: I'm turning it into a blog article. Science for the masses!
Fail: Made so many errors making this video for Mother's Day. Lots of editing errors/mistakes-while shooting. Practice, practice, PRACTICE before doing on camera.
Boo-Yah: Turned out alright, and tasty ice cream for tomorrow!
Fail: in two weeks time I was going to visit New York for two nights, which would have given me plenty of time to meet people and do some tourist stuff. Plans have changed, and now I only have about 24 hours to kill in the city, and just one evening and night to meet people.
Win: the reason I have to leave NYC a day early is because I've been booked for the first time with a large cruise line that has ships in Europe all year, not just in the summer, which could mean steady work all year round without having to travel down to the southern hemisphere.
Win: the cruise line asked to book me specifically, by name, so I'm guessing they've heard good things about my show from somewhere.
Win: I've managed to reschedule already booked flights for no extra cost.
Fail: The hospital I worked at might go under, which means they will almost definitely not hire me back this summer. That means I have to shotgun apply to around 10 places and write cover letters for all of them.
Booh-Yah: I'm applying for a position as a Brick Specialist at the local LEGO store.
Fail: It needs a cover letter.
Booh-Yah: That's basically an invitation to write an essay on my 21-year love affair with LEGO.
Cover letters are easy, dude. It's like 3 paragraphs. It's the personal statements that are hard! You have to spend 1-2 pages talking yourself up without sounding like an arrogant ass.
I'm just going crosspost for the 14 mistakes people make with Resumes/Cover Letters that professor gave me during one of my summer classes:
Mistake #1: No cover letter Yes, you need a cover letter even when you are emailing your resume, posting it to a job board, or sending it electronically. A cover letter is the best place to introduce yourself, identify your goals, and briefly describe why you are a good fit for the position. A well-written cover letter is a sales tool that will ensure your resume will be read.
Mistake #2: No imagination Avoid using cookie-cutter resume templates, such as those from Microsoft or other resume-generating programs. Hiring managers will spot them in an instant, and will assume you either lack creativity or don't care enough about the position you are applying for to go the extra mile.
Mistake #3: Too much imagination Resumes that arrive unconventionally, are on colored or perfumed paper, or have many different fonts in an effort to make them stick out in the crowd will likely go unread. Employers will assume that if you need to resort to these tactics, you probably don't have the qualifications for the job.
Mistake #4: Including an objective statement This is the best way to paint yourself into a corner, and is not a good way to go if you want the employer to keep you in mind for other positions that you may also be qualified for. Lose the objective statement.
Mistake #5: Typos and grammatical errors Your resume must be grammatically perfect. Most positions today require good communication and writing skills, and if your resume is riddled with errors, you'll be immediately judged as someone who doesn't possess these basic skills. It stands to reason that if you can't spell "financial analyst" correctly, you have no business being one. Invest in a dictionary and be sure to have your document carefully proofread.
Mistake #6: Your resume is unfocused Your resume should clearly state what you do, what you are good at, and what you have accomplished. If you are applying for a sales position focus on your numbers and statistics, and give your two years as a veterinary technician a backseat, if any ink at all. If you have a long work history with valuable experience in more than one area, for example, sales and marketing -- it may make sense to craft two resumes: one that focuses on sales, and another that focuses on marketing.
Mistake #7: You list dates first Statistics show that hiring managers spend just a couple of seconds looking at a resume before deciding whether it warrants a full read, so be sure to show them what they want to see first. When listing past employment, instead of listing dates first list them last. A good order is: title/position, name of employer, city/state of employer, and then dates.
Mistake #8: Your resume is too short or too long Contrary to popular opinion you don't need to keep your resume down to one page, especially if you've accrued some work experience. The goal should be to document everything you've done, without being verbose. One page should suffice for entry-level workers and those with a few years of work experience. If you have more than six or seven years of experience, two pages is appropriate.
Mistake #9: Your resume is in paragraph form Hiring managers have piles of resumes to get through, and most of them are unwilling to struggle through a tough read no matter how qualified the candidate. Avoid turnoffs like dense type and paragraphs, and use bullets instead. Think easily digestible nuggets, rather than lengthy sentences.
Mistake #10: Too much focus on past, irrelevant job descriptions Employers don't care what duties were assigned to you in your past jobs. All they are really concerned about is what you have done, and what you can do for them. Focus on your accomplishments, rather than your duties. Use statistics and numbers. Show how you solved problems. Avoid phrases like "duties included" or "responsibilities included."
Mistake #11: Too much personal information If you choose to put hobbies and interests on your resume, use them sparingly and choose them carefully to ensure they are not potentially controversial or offensive, or worthy of chuckles or eye rolling. Including that you enjoy tennis, reading, and rock climbing is fine. Stating that you knit sweaters for your ferret in your spare time is TMI, unless you are applying for a job knitting pet apparel.
Mistake #12: You are obviously not qualified Some people do this believing that it's a way to get their foot into the door of a company they would really like to work for. But employers find this a waste of their time, and are annoyed by this practice.
Mistake #13: No keywords If you are submitting online, be aware that hiring managers will do a quick search of keywords and keyword phrases to find appropriate resumes. If you apply for a job where the company uses technology to search for keywords, and you don't have those keywords in your resume, your resume will go unnoticed. If the employer remembers you later when you apply for a job you are actually qualified for, it won't be fondly.
Mistake #14: "References available upon request" This is often used as a way to end a resume, but it's completely unnecessary. Of course you have references! Otherwise, you have no business applying for this job!
This is probably what makes me a sociopath in that I don't want to conform to those standards at all, and thus why I feel I must go start my own business so I don't have to worry about that bullshit.
And to put it simply, I've gotten five or six jobs not following any of those rules.
Mega Fail: HSBC is not only closing all of its local branches, but they are literally giving away accounts to other banks. Customers have no say in which bank their account is given to. I found out yesterday during a semi-related call they will give ours to Key Bank come July, a bank which has fees for just about everything. This was information that was not given, but I had to ask about. Naturally, I was all:
Boo-Yah: After doing much research, we have found another bank. Boo-Yah: It's called CapCom. Seriously. Ryu is my accountant.
Mega Fail: HSBC is not only closing all of its local branches, but they are literally giving away accounts to other banks. Customers have no say in which bank their account is given to. I found out yesterday during a semi-related call they will give ours to Key Bank come July, a bank which has fees for just about everything. This was information that was not given, but I had to ask about.
This happens all the time with bank shutdowns, mergers, and such. Some (all?) of it is due to banking industry regulations. For example, a few years ago BankBoston was merged/purchased by Fleet Bank (which has been bought by Bank of America since then). Fleet already had a significant number of branches in the same geographic area, so they were required by law to sell some of their accounts to another bank -- in this case, Sovereign Bank. The rules were kinda bizarre -- if you had a BankBoston account in RI, your account would be sold to Sovereign whereas Sovereign would get your account if you had a Fleet account in MA.
Booh-Yah: Finally got the Flaming Lips and Heady Fwends RSD vinyl release. It's selling for $100 on Discogs, averaging around $70-75 on eBay, and I got it for $60. Great deal for a beautiful release that I'm going to treasure for a long time.
Fail: My wallet's $60 lighter. Guess I'm living on rice and pasta for the remainder of my time in the UK.
Boo-Yah!: I'm going to England in a little over a week and will be staying for two weeks and then returning on the Queen Mary II! It's an awesome study abroad trip and it's been planned for months now.
Fail: All I can manage to do is stress. So much can change in three weeks and going three entire weeks without being able to know how my dad is doing on chemo and not being able to get back if something goes wrong really scares me. I also know how much work I'll have waiting for me when I get back. My bunny is already throwing hissy fits when she's away from me for any significant length of time and I'm worried about her too. It's been a mess of other little things, most of which I can't really do anything about; but this is also my first time going overseas and I'm VERY intimidated.
BUT. Another Boo-yah: I have a car now, and it will be officially in my possession when I return from England.
Hey, maybe another Icelandic volcano will blow up and then the flight will be canceled, just like when I was about to go on a school trip to the UK (not that I'm bitter or anything) and then you won't have to worry!
The issue isn't that I don't want to go; or I'm not excited... I'm also just worried. It's a long time to be across the ocean from my dad when he's this sick. And, let's face it, it's intimidating either way.
Comments
Edit: I suppose bringing back real coffee is a less dramatic option.
Booh-Yah: I'm turning it into a blog article. Science for the masses!
Boo-Yah: Turned out alright, and tasty ice cream for tomorrow!
Fail: My knee's hurt, so I could only play so much.
Booh yah: Just sent out three more!
Win: the reason I have to leave NYC a day early is because I've been booked for the first time with a large cruise line that has ships in Europe all year, not just in the summer, which could mean steady work all year round without having to travel down to the southern hemisphere.
Win: the cruise line asked to book me specifically, by name, so I'm guessing they've heard good things about my show from somewhere.
Win: I've managed to reschedule already booked flights for no extra cost.
Booh-Yah: I'm applying for a position as a Brick Specialist at the local LEGO store.
Fail: It needs a cover letter.
Booh-Yah: That's basically an invitation to write an essay on my 21-year love affair with LEGO.
Mistake #1: No cover letter
Yes, you need a cover letter even when you are emailing your resume, posting it to a job board, or sending it electronically. A cover letter is the best place to introduce yourself, identify your goals, and briefly describe why you are a good fit for the position. A well-written cover letter is a sales tool that will ensure your resume will be read.
Mistake #2: No imagination
Avoid using cookie-cutter resume templates, such as those from Microsoft or other resume-generating programs. Hiring managers will spot them in an instant, and will assume you either lack creativity or don't care enough about the position you are applying for to go the extra mile.
Mistake #3: Too much imagination
Resumes that arrive unconventionally, are on colored or perfumed paper, or have many different fonts in an effort to make them stick out in the crowd will likely go unread. Employers will assume that if you need to resort to these tactics, you probably don't have the qualifications for the job.
Mistake #4: Including an objective statement
This is the best way to paint yourself into a corner, and is not a good way to go if you want the employer to keep you in mind for other positions that you may also be qualified for. Lose the objective statement.
Mistake #5: Typos and grammatical errors
Your resume must be grammatically perfect. Most positions today require good communication and writing skills, and if your resume is riddled with errors, you'll be immediately judged as someone who doesn't possess these basic skills. It stands to reason that if you can't spell "financial analyst" correctly, you have no business being one. Invest in a dictionary and be sure to have your document carefully proofread.
Mistake #6: Your resume is unfocused
Your resume should clearly state what you do, what you are good at, and what you have accomplished. If you are applying for a sales position focus on your numbers and statistics, and give your two years as a veterinary technician a backseat, if any ink at all. If you have a long work history with valuable experience in more than one area, for example, sales and marketing -- it may make sense to craft two resumes: one that focuses on sales, and another that focuses on marketing.
Mistake #7: You list dates first
Statistics show that hiring managers spend just a couple of seconds looking at a resume before deciding whether it warrants a full read, so be sure to show them what they want to see first. When listing past employment, instead of listing dates first list them last. A good order is: title/position, name of employer, city/state of employer, and then dates.
Mistake #8: Your resume is too short or too long
Contrary to popular opinion you don't need to keep your resume down to one page, especially if you've accrued some work experience. The goal should be to document everything you've done, without being verbose. One page should suffice for entry-level workers and those with a few years of work experience. If you have more than six or seven years of experience, two pages is appropriate.
Mistake #9: Your resume is in paragraph form
Hiring managers have piles of resumes to get through, and most of them are unwilling to struggle through a tough read no matter how qualified the candidate. Avoid turnoffs like dense type and paragraphs, and use bullets instead. Think easily digestible nuggets, rather than lengthy sentences.
Mistake #10: Too much focus on past, irrelevant job descriptions
Employers don't care what duties were assigned to you in your past jobs. All they are really concerned about is what you have done, and what you can do for them. Focus on your accomplishments, rather than your duties. Use statistics and numbers. Show how you solved problems. Avoid phrases like "duties included" or "responsibilities included."
Mistake #11: Too much personal information
If you choose to put hobbies and interests on your resume, use them sparingly and choose them carefully to ensure they are not potentially controversial or offensive, or worthy of chuckles or eye rolling. Including that you enjoy tennis, reading, and rock climbing is fine. Stating that you knit sweaters for your ferret in your spare time is TMI, unless you are applying for a job knitting pet apparel.
Mistake #12: You are obviously not qualified
Some people do this believing that it's a way to get their foot into the door of a company they would really like to work for. But employers find this a waste of their time, and are annoyed by this practice.
Mistake #13: No keywords
If you are submitting online, be aware that hiring managers will do a quick search of keywords and keyword phrases to find appropriate resumes. If you apply for a job where the company uses technology to search for keywords, and you don't have those keywords in your resume, your resume will go unnoticed. If the employer remembers you later when you apply for a job you are actually qualified for, it won't be fondly.
Mistake #14: "References available upon request"
This is often used as a way to end a resume, but it's completely unnecessary. Of course you have references! Otherwise, you have no business applying for this job!
And to put it simply, I've gotten five or six jobs not following any of those rules.
Naturally, I was all:
Boo-Yah: After doing much research, we have found another bank.
Boo-Yah: It's called CapCom. Seriously. Ryu is my accountant.
Fail: My wallet's $60 lighter. Guess I'm living on rice and pasta for the remainder of my time in the UK.
Fail: All I can manage to do is stress. So much can change in three weeks and going three entire weeks without being able to know how my dad is doing on chemo and not being able to get back if something goes wrong really scares me. I also know how much work I'll have waiting for me when I get back. My bunny is already throwing hissy fits when she's away from me for any significant length of time and I'm worried about her too. It's been a mess of other little things, most of which I can't really do anything about; but this is also my first time going overseas and I'm VERY intimidated.
BUT.
Another Boo-yah: I have a car now, and it will be officially in my possession when I return from England.
And, let's face it, it's intimidating either way.