Synaptic patterns, Pavlovian response, massively complex system of hormonal shifts and mammalian drives.
Also, it's part of the "Stupidness.com" network.
Strawman.
~_^
Even if those are valid biological explanations for those phenomenon, they still exist and bear a powerful effect on people. Sex is a biological drive, but it's not the only one to be considered when discussing the relationships of people. My point remains that not all variables have been considered in this ladder theory.
I see! I know that I am very attractive, so I have to assume that most of my guy friends must be eying me like a piece of meat. They don't really value my friendship. I don't know why they keep hanging out with me when they know that I'm in a long term gay relationship, and engaged to boot.
Well, judging from the amount of friends I have hanging out with married women hoping they divorce..... :-p
That's really sad.
I still don't think anybody in the FRC or elsewhere is waiting for me to break up. I mean, according to ladder theory, I'm either unattractive, not as attractive as xyz, or I don't really have guy friends. Respect for my relationship, or love/loyalty to somebody they're already with doesn't enter into this theory. It implies that a man would break up with somebody simply because there's somebody higher on the sex ladder available. It implies that love, loyalty, and memories would not keep his sexual urges in check, ever. I know that's true for some men, but not all. And that, logically the biggest reason I can't take this theory as anything but a stupid joke.
Even if those are valid biological explanations for those phenomenon, they still exist and bear a powerful effect on people. Sex is a biological drive, but it's not the only one to be considered when discussing the relationships of people. My point remains that not all variables have been considered in this ladder theory.
It's probably worth stating that loyalty, love, and shared memories are all things I find perfectly valid, that I don't agree with Ladder Theory at all, and that I don't quite believe that free will is a myth. I am, however, a hopeless romantic.
I've seen that this theory pretty much holds true for 55-60% of the high-schoolers I've met, and perhaps 40-50% of the college kids. I think its validity is inversely proportional to someone's emotional maturity. That would explain the "club scene" scenario referenced above.
I've seen that this theory pretty much holds true for 55-60% of the high-schoolers I've met, and perhaps 40-50% of the college kids. I think its validity is inversely proportional to someone's emotional maturity. That would explain the "club scene" scenario referenced above.
For an adult relationship it's bollocks.
Which explains why the pickup artist group applies it to life like others apply principles of physics.
You mean physics or the banging of hot club scene chicks?
The misogynistic, manipulative "strategies" (see "neg") for picking up hot club-scene chicks. I'm pretty sure he hasn't succeeded in picking up any hot club-scene chicks. No, if my brother started talking about physics, it would be awesome.
I blame the fact that women like evil men. It's apparently true to some extent, so introverted nice guys such as me feel even more awkward in an annoying social situation. But on that note, I have made great friends with the girlfriend's of my roommates.
Being young is a pain...so much stuff I don't know.
I still don't think anybody in the FRC or elsewhere is waiting for me to break up. I mean, according to ladder theory, I'm either unattractive, not as attractive as xyz, or I don't really have guy friends. Respect for my relationship, or love/loyalty to somebody they're already with doesn't enter into this theory. It implies that a man would break up with somebody simply because there's somebody higher on the sex ladder available. It implies that love, loyalty, and memories would not keep his sexual urges in check, ever. I know that's true for some men, but not all. And that, logically the biggest reason I can't take this theory as anything but a stupid joke.
You keep missing the fact that most of the FRC is not single (and your not single). I'm not arguing for the ladder's validity, just that your situation doesn't match the situation they are talking about. The key with the men in the ladder theory is they find you attractive, are avaliable and not gay. The few people who are single in the FRC (Scott and Katsu) are obviously gay :-p j/k
I blame the fact that women like evil men. It's apparently true to some extent, so introverted nice guys such as me feel even more awkward in an annoying social situation. But on that note, I have made great friends with the girlfriend's of my roommates.
Being young is a pain...so much stuff I don't know.
Cry me a river, grow some balls and ask girls out. The only reason woman go for "evil" men is they actually have some self-confidence enough to ask them out or make a pass. Work on your self image (whether that means counseling or excerise or whatever will make you feel better) and don't feel sorry for yourself. Confidence is attractive.
I blame the fact that women like evil men. It's apparently true to some extent, so introverted nice guys such as me feel even more awkward in an annoying social situation. But on that note, I have made great friends with the girlfriend's of my roommates.
Being young is a pain...so much stuff I don't know.
Cry me a river, grow some balls and ask girls out.
That's not very hospitaliano.
Nuke, I understand. I had very much the same feelings. All I can say, though, is that it gets better with time. I know that sounds hokey, because I remember how it sounded when people said it to me, but it's actually true. As you get older, you get more confident, and confidence is what reels them in.
I blame the fact that women like evil men. It's apparently true to some extent, so introverted nice guys such as me feel even more awkward in an annoying social situation. But on that note, I have made great friends with the girlfriend's of my roommates.
Being young is a pain...so much stuff I don't know.
You know, this is the famous "But I'm a NICE GUY!" argument. You know, you may be a "nice guy" but there is obviously something else preventing people from wanting to date you. Intense nerdery or lack of fitness - there are many points where less otaku-friendly girls might be driven away. Some girls date guys who are jerks (usually not because they are "evil" but because they are attractive), but the majority of the ones I know would rather date a genuinely nice person than deal with the BS that comes from a dysfunctional relationship, even if the dude is good looking. However, regard the fanboys at cons. They are mostly really nice people, but so awkward/loud/lacking in hygiene that that cancels out any sexual attraction one may have for them. Most "nice guy" arguments come from the nice guys not realizing other possible social flaws.
It's true. Anyone who says "but I'm a nice guy, why won't they date me" has assumed that the other party would be attracted to them were there not some other person who's somehow bad deceiving them. This assumption is almost always incorrect.
Thinking thoughts that are 'bad' (man, i'd like to sleep with her, man i'd like to sleep with her, repeat an nauseum) by societal norms is hardly the same as seeing downgrading half of society. Truth be told if I were gay, I'd have the same viewpoint towards my male friends. I always thought the ladder theory assumed a distinct seperation between throught process and interaction with the outside world.
I think I'm rambling so let me try to simplify. I have friends who are girls. Yes, I want to sleep with them. Given the chance of a sexual encounter that both parties knew had no emotional or mental or social ramifications, I would. Maybe now I am getting it, the ladder theory assumes the primary/only reason behind socializing with the other gender is looks/status.
That's always been true in a sense, but the ladder theory is assuming you and said person have no interests outside of that. I am not 'putting up with your boring crap' (movies, tv shows, etc)unless I get something out of it? That assumes a friendship flawed in it's basis if you aren't sharing similar interests. Ladder theory seems to have been made in a vaccuum that tries to assume certain things that go against it. Or maybe this is just another miscommunication between some men and some women.
Ladder theory seems to have been made in a vaccuum that tries to assume certain things that go against it. Or maybe this is just another miscommunication between some men and some women.
All ladder theory does is explain how socially inept and insecure people engage in relationships. It has no bearing on anything else.
Again, I refer to the above xkcd. It bears repeating in any thread on relationships.
Yesterday was a strange day for me. I put an early end to a relationship that could have lasted longer, and then had a good chat with my ex-girlfriend about the later part of our relationship. Both events within an hour or two sort of put some things into perspective for me. I could mull things over, but instead I'm just going to say "Fuckit, I'm awesome!" and get on with being happily single for a while more.
The few people who are single in the FRC (Scott and Katsu) are obviously gay :-p
Wait... but I'm gay and I'm not single. YOUR LADDER MAKES NO SENSE.
I don't think you're ugly. ~_^
Thank you George.
All ladder theory does is explain how socially inept and insecure people engage in relationships. It has no bearing on anything else.
Yes this. Maybe that's why ladder theory doesn't seem to hold up when I think of any of my friends.
This stupid theory, or one very similar to it, was introduced to me by my father, who still believes that women and men cannot be friends. This belief of his was one of the factors in my early life that lead me to avoid having male friends, since it further confirmed belief that all men were sex-obsessed pigs. (No I don't think this way anymore.)
Then again, my father also used to think that only unattractive women could become lesbians. Oddly enough this theory was never revisited after he found out about me...
Then again, my fatheralsoused to think that only unattractive women could become lesbians. Oddly enough this theory was never revisited after he found out about me...
Wow, that's called putting your foot in your mouth :-p
Interesting comic that really breaks it down to simplest level of discourse. Common sense, security in self, and social eptitude are really, REALLY things that people with them are taking for granted here. But again, the ladder theory is too shallow to delve into things like that. Good talk, I'm all out of contribution.
I don't believe in the theory of ladders. I mean, it's just a THEORY. We should teach the competing theory of intelligent climbing.
You damn intelligent climbers and your predetermined relationships. There's tons of evidence disproving you and supporting ladder theory at the same time!
This stupid theory, or one very similar to it, was introduced to me by my father, who still believes that women and men cannot be friends. This belief of his was one of the factors in my early life that lead me to avoid having male friends, since it further confirmed belief that all men were sex-obsessed pigs. (No I don't think this way anymore.)
Hehe, I may be guilty of doing what your father did to you to a lesser extent.
About 2 years ago I heard my 14 year old cousin talking about her "cool" older male friends. I started talking to her and quickly gathered they were 17 year old seniors in their graduating year. I then proceeded to point out how unlikely it was hey found her views on Gossip Girl or Twilight to be revolutionary and how likley it was that at least one member in that group was trying to bang her, if not several. Also, that her attractiveness was likley the primary reason she was involved in this group of men. (Making her admit the type of girls they hung out with. Which I correctly guessed, they only talked to the younger attractive girls she knew.) I consoled her that if she wanted to have a relationship with one of them and that was her primary reason for talking to them then everyone is on the same page and that is fine. But, if she thinks they are all just best friends and completely platonic then she might get a surprise when they invite her out to a house party. She played it off at the time but her interaction with them quickly dropped off. Also, I didn't do any permanent damage. She's 16 now and has a wonderful boyfriend. I was just making sure she knew the deal.
Cry me a river, grow some balls and ask girls out. The only reason woman go for "evil" men is they actually have some self-confidence enough to ask them out or make a pass. Work on your self image (whether that means counseling or excerise or whatever will make you feel better) and don't feel sorry for yourself. Confidence is attractive.
Agree completely. The primary reason I was single in highschool was because my lack of "balls". I have actually confirmed through my fairly popular sister and her friends, now that enough time has past that they don't feel like they're betraying anyone, that at least 3 girls I knew had huge crushes on me and would have dated me in a heartbeat if I just asked. Most depressing of these discoveries is that the most attractive girl in my grade liked me and hit on me quiet blatantly through grade 9 and 10. So not used to rejection, she, along with several of her friends, assumed I was gay. Now that I think back, the only way she could have hit on me more blatantly would have been to have kissed me in the hall way. I was a really shy/oblivious kid.
Comments
I still don't think anybody in the FRC or elsewhere is waiting for me to break up. I mean, according to ladder theory, I'm either unattractive, not as attractive as xyz, or I don't really have guy friends. Respect for my relationship, or love/loyalty to somebody they're already with doesn't enter into this theory. It implies that a man would break up with somebody simply because there's somebody higher on the sex ladder available. It implies that love, loyalty, and memories would not keep his sexual urges in check, ever. I know that's true for some men, but not all. And that, logically the biggest reason I can't take this theory as anything but a stupid joke.
For an adult relationship it's bollocks.
Being young is a pain...so much stuff I don't know.
Cry me a river, grow some balls and ask girls out. The only reason woman go for "evil" men is they actually have some self-confidence enough to ask them out or make a pass. Work on your self image (whether that means counseling or excerise or whatever will make you feel better) and don't feel sorry for yourself. Confidence is attractive.
Nuke, I understand. I had very much the same feelings. All I can say, though, is that it gets better with time. I know that sounds hokey, because I remember how it sounded when people said it to me, but it's actually true. As you get older, you get more confident, and confidence is what reels them in.
xkcd sums it up perfectly (as always).
I think I'm rambling so let me try to simplify. I have friends who are girls. Yes, I want to sleep with them. Given the chance of a sexual encounter that both parties knew had no emotional or mental or social ramifications, I would. Maybe now I am getting it, the ladder theory assumes the primary/only reason behind socializing with the other gender is looks/status.
That's always been true in a sense, but the ladder theory is assuming you and said person have no interests outside of that. I am not 'putting up with your boring crap' (movies, tv shows, etc)unless I get something out of it? That assumes a friendship flawed in it's basis if you aren't sharing similar interests. Ladder theory seems to have been made in a vaccuum that tries to assume certain things that go against it. Or maybe this is just another miscommunication between some men and some women.
Again, I refer to the above xkcd. It bears repeating in any thread on relationships.
This stupid theory, or one very similar to it, was introduced to me by my father, who still believes that women and men cannot be friends. This belief of his was one of the factors in my early life that lead me to avoid having male friends, since it further confirmed belief that all men were sex-obsessed pigs. (No I don't think this way anymore.)
Then again, my father also used to think that only unattractive women could become lesbians. Oddly enough this theory was never revisited after he found out about me...
About 2 years ago I heard my 14 year old cousin talking about her "cool" older male friends. I started talking to her and quickly gathered they were 17 year old seniors in their graduating year. I then proceeded to point out how unlikely it was hey found her views on Gossip Girl or Twilight to be revolutionary and how likley it was that at least one member in that group was trying to bang her, if not several. Also, that her attractiveness was likley the primary reason she was involved in this group of men. (Making her admit the type of girls they hung out with. Which I correctly guessed, they only talked to the younger attractive girls she knew.) I consoled her that if she wanted to have a relationship with one of them and that was her primary reason for talking to them then everyone is on the same page and that is fine. But, if she thinks they are all just best friends and completely platonic then she might get a surprise when they invite her out to a house party. She played it off at the time but her interaction with them quickly dropped off. Also, I didn't do any permanent damage. She's 16 now and has a wonderful boyfriend. I was just making sure she knew the deal. Agree completely. The primary reason I was single in highschool was because my lack of "balls". I have actually confirmed through my fairly popular sister and her friends, now that enough time has past that they don't feel like they're betraying anyone, that at least 3 girls I knew had huge crushes on me and would have dated me in a heartbeat if I just asked. Most depressing of these discoveries is that the most attractive girl in my grade liked me and hit on me quiet blatantly through grade 9 and 10. So not used to rejection, she, along with several of her friends, assumed I was gay. Now that I think back, the only way she could have hit on me more blatantly would have been to have kissed me in the hall way. I was a really shy/oblivious kid.