I blame the fact that women like evil men. It's apparently true to some extent, so introverted nice guys such as me feel even more awkward in an annoying social situation. But on that note, I have made great friends with the girlfriend's of my roommates.
Being young is a pain...so much stuff I don't know.
Cry me a river, grow some balls and ask girls out.
That's not very hospitaliano.
Nuke, I understand. I had very much the same feelings. All I can say, though, is that it gets better with time. I know that sounds hokey, because I remember how it sounded when people said it to me, but it's actually true. As you get older, you get more confident, and confidence is what reels them in.
For the record, I state this not out of personal hurt, but mostly from what I've seen from many of my other friends in those situations. Only one or two of my friends have appeared to have really successful, open relationships while many of my other friends have been screwed over. Especially with my best friend who has had really bad problems with the situation. Plus, I feel like the Ladder Theory works hand and hand with the Nice Guy/Friend Zone theory. And while I understand that many woman date "bad men" because of they are confident, mysterious, attractive (Guys do it for the same reason), it feels like the relationship always turns into something bigger that makes people cry.
While I don't have a lot of love experience, I feel annoyed that I don't have more because I feel grossly uneducated. Me being 21 doesn't help.
While I don't have a lot of love experience, I feel annoyed that I don't have more because I feelgrosslyuneducated. Me being 21 doesn't help.
My Gunshot wound scar and the scar where I got stabbed in the hip have suddenly started a harmonic chorus that the inverse is not always the most appealing thing.
My Gunshot wound scar and the scar where I got stabbed in the hip have suddenly started a harmonic chorus that the inverse is not always the most appealing thing.
Am I to understand that you were not just stabbed, but shot by a girlfriend? That's cold-blooded, man.
Was that the one who broke the coffee mug over your head and then tried to take away the phone when you were calling 911? Or are these different crazies?
I told someone about a bad breakup of mine the other day, but didn't go into too much detail. Near the end of the story I said "My brother in law visited, and he helped me clear up the broken glass..." and they were like "Wait a moment, broken glass?" So I had to go back over the story in a bit more detail.
Am I to understand that you were not just stabbed, butshotby a girlfriend? That's cold-blooded, man.
You understand correctly, sir. Though, to be fair, I didn't get stabbed directly BY the girl, simply at her encouragement to others.
Was that the one who broke the coffee mug over your head and then tried to take away the phone when you were calling 911? Or are these different crazies?
Three separate crazies. And, my current girlfriend is also not only well armed, and good with blades of all sizes, is also an ex-Kenpo instructor who also knows a half-decent amount of Akido and is learning Systema. There is only one appropriate response.
You keep missing the fact that most of the FRC is not single (and your not single). I'm not arguing for the ladder's validity, just that your situation doesn't match the situation they are talking about. The key with the men in the ladder theory is they find you attractive, are avaliable and not gay. The few people who are single in the FRC (Scott and Katsu) are obviously gay :-p j/k
I have single guy friends outside the FRC, as I said before, lol. But my main point is this: the ladder doesn't term unavailable as in "loyal, in love, and committed." The ladder's "Unavailable" is defined by "guy has hottest chick already and doesn't want to risk it for sup-par meat." If that were true, then every girl who's not with this guy should assume she's ugly, or at least not pretty. It also means that if another hot chick came along, he might dump his current girlfriend just because of that. I'm saying I don't like the implied superficiality or flightiness of the ladder's term of 'available/unavailable.' It makes men sound sucky, and like awful friends. =/
I know the allegations about women are BS because I know myself very well. There's no being offended by something that isn't true. The idea that men were like that bothered me a little instead, because I couldn't immediately dismiss it without thinking about it. It took me a little thinking about it to figure why the stuff about men isn't (always) true.
While I don't have a lot of love experience, I feel annoyed that I don't have more because I feelgrosslyuneducated. Me being 21 doesn't help.
I used to think this way, and by all rights I should still think this way. If someone were to ask me to sum up my love life, my reply would be, "Well, I'm 23 years old and I made out with a girl once." Really, that's it. Nothing to see here. Do I care? Not really. There are a few things that led me to this change.
Firstly, I got tired of being put down as being naive. You ever get in one of those conversations where someone else is complaining about how they haven't gotten laid in a few months or whatever, and it's driving them nuts? I used to bitch back at them that at least they know what it's like. Without exception, I would always get a reply to the effect of "you don't understand." Fine, I said to myself eventually. From this, I realized that it's worthless complaining about my own problems when most people don't give a shit.
Secondly, I got tired of my friends trying to set me up with people. This also came out of my complaining, though it's also partially that most friends hate to see another friend sexless. At least mine do. Once I stopped mentioning it, they stopped trying to set me up, which made me very happy.
And most importantly, I realized something after leaving college that I wasn't fully aware of until then. I am still really, really young. Most of my friends that I hang out with regularly are in their late 20's. Very few of them are married, many are in long-term relationships, some are still going from one person to another. Not everything has to happen now. I have time. Lots of it. I realized that I should just be spending my time on what I want to do, not on what others think I should do. For right now, I want to spend my time making my life better, consuming as much information as I can, and being creative. Being in a relationship isn't really important to me, but that may change in the coming months or even days. Who knows?
Most people in the world are always worried that they won't be able to do what they want to do before they die. "Live today like you won't see tomorrow" is a common mantra. My personal opinion is that if I were to die tomorrow, then I wouldn't know what I missed, would I? So why should I care? I don't.
I'm not exactly sure if she was wearing it because she likes The Flash (but who the hell wouldn't love the Flash?) or in a hipster-so-pop-culture-reference sort of way. She also wears a pea coat.
I'm not exactly sure if she was wearing it because she likes The Flash (but who the hellwouldn'tlove the Flash?) or in a hipster-so-pop-culture-reference sort of way. She also wears a pea coat.
...Why didn't I do this after class an hour ago?
1) The Flash is my all time favorite super-hero. I refuse to buy into his later "my daughter isn't good enough" attitude as cannon. The Flash is not sexist. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS! 2) If she was just wearing it for fashion reasons, then who cares? 3) What does wearing a peacoat have to do with anything? They are relatively standard attire.
I'm not exactly sure if she was wearing it because she likes The Flash (but who the hellwouldn'tlove the Flash?) or in a hipster-so-pop-culture-reference sort of way. She also wears a pea coat.
...Why didn't I do this after class an hour ago?
1) The Flash is my all time favorite super-hero. I refuse to buy into his later "my daughter isn't good enough" attitude as cannon. The Flash is not sexist. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS! 2) If she was just wearing it for fashion reasons, then who cares? 3) What does wearing a peacoat have to do with anything? They are relatively standard attire.
I thought the Flash was Mr. Macross's nickname :-p
I'm not exactly sure if she was wearing it because she likes The Flash (but who the hellwouldn'tlove the Flash?) or in a hipster-so-pop-culture-reference sort of way.
As someone who still technically works at Target, I can confirm that Target has a whole wall of pre-faded retro superhero t-shirts that are almost certainly not being bought by genuine fans of the characters.
I just have a thing for ladies in pea coats. Always have.
As someone who still technically works at Target, I can confirm that Target has a whole wall of pre-faded retro superhero t-shirts that are almost certainly not being bought by genuine fans of the characters.
I'm not exactly sure if she was wearing it because she likes The Flash (but who the hellwouldn'tlove the Flash?) or in a hipster-so-pop-culture-reference sort of way.
As someone who still technically works at Target, I can confirm that Target has a whole wall of pre-faded retro superhero t-shirts that are almost certainly not being bought by genuine fans of the characters.
That's kind of a shame. I've always thought of band and geek shirts as some sort of banner, a way of saying "Hey, I'm interested in this thing, come talk to me about it". Now there's all this "geek chic" stuff that caters to non-fans simply for the style.
The big thing at my high school was Amoeba Records tote bags. I quickly, and disappointingly, learned that the girls carrying these around were not the sort who went record hunting at Amoeba.
Of course, people can wear whatever they want, and I'm not going to say that someone shouldn't be wearing a Flash shirt when they know nothing about The Flash, but still. In a better world, they would.
Of course, people can wear whatever they want, and I'm not going to say that someone shouldn't be wearing a Flash shirt when they know nothing about The Flash, but still. In a better world, they would.
I'll still inquire. Worst thing that happens, she knows nothing about the flash and I look like a geek, but I'm very unapologetic about who I am anyway.
Comments
While I don't have a lot of love experience, I feel annoyed that I don't have more because I feel grossly uneducated. Me being 21 doesn't help.
Psycho ex-girlfriends for the fail.
But my main point is this: the ladder doesn't term unavailable as in "loyal, in love, and committed." The ladder's "Unavailable" is defined by "guy has hottest chick already and doesn't want to risk it for sup-par meat." If that were true, then every girl who's not with this guy should assume she's ugly, or at least not pretty. It also means that if another hot chick came along, he might dump his current girlfriend just because of that. I'm saying I don't like the implied superficiality or flightiness of the ladder's term of 'available/unavailable.' It makes men sound sucky, and like awful friends. =/
Firstly, I got tired of being put down as being naive. You ever get in one of those conversations where someone else is complaining about how they haven't gotten laid in a few months or whatever, and it's driving them nuts? I used to bitch back at them that at least they know what it's like. Without exception, I would always get a reply to the effect of "you don't understand." Fine, I said to myself eventually. From this, I realized that it's worthless complaining about my own problems when most people don't give a shit.
Secondly, I got tired of my friends trying to set me up with people. This also came out of my complaining, though it's also partially that most friends hate to see another friend sexless. At least mine do. Once I stopped mentioning it, they stopped trying to set me up, which made me very happy.
And most importantly, I realized something after leaving college that I wasn't fully aware of until then. I am still really, really young. Most of my friends that I hang out with regularly are in their late 20's. Very few of them are married, many are in long-term relationships, some are still going from one person to another. Not everything has to happen now. I have time. Lots of it. I realized that I should just be spending my time on what I want to do, not on what others think I should do. For right now, I want to spend my time making my life better, consuming as much information as I can, and being creative. Being in a relationship isn't really important to me, but that may change in the coming months or even days. Who knows?
Most people in the world are always worried that they won't be able to do what they want to do before they die. "Live today like you won't see tomorrow" is a common mantra. My personal opinion is that if I were to die tomorrow, then I wouldn't know what I missed, would I? So why should I care? I don't.
...Why didn't I do this after class an hour ago?
2) If she was just wearing it for fashion reasons, then who cares?
3) What does wearing a peacoat have to do with anything? They are relatively standard attire.
The big thing at my high school was Amoeba Records tote bags. I quickly, and disappointingly, learned that the girls carrying these around were not the sort who went record hunting at Amoeba.
Of course, people can wear whatever they want, and I'm not going to say that someone shouldn't be wearing a Flash shirt when they know nothing about The Flash, but still. In a better world, they would.
Shame about those Amoeba tote bags, though.