Having lived in New Jersey all of my life, I am VERY knowledgable of how outsiders judge the area I live in. It is all based in truth, but that doesn't mean it's ture everywhere and all the time. Being a born local means I know how to enjoy all of the wonderful parts without accidentally stumbling into the garbage.
Jersey Shore? Yeah, that shit actually happens. Half the people on Jersey Shore aren't actually from New Jersey? Same statistic translates to the actual people doing ridiculous things at the actual jersey shore.
As for other countries, I don't really have strong opinions on any of them. I view things in the same way as the Jersey comparions. All of the ridiculous stereotypes are likely based in some small truth, but that they are largely overblown.
I hope you're not actually giving the gas pump operator a tip when you drive through NJ.
If you meant an implied tip through the higher price of gas relative to what it would be if the station didn't have to pay their wages, then yes, you are paying for that man's services, which sucks. The cost of gas always seems to be best at home rather than other places though. Can't say I know enough to determine why. Maybe taxes, shipping routes? Who knows, but long story short I don't mind paying for the man b/c the gas is already cheaper than the surrounding area.
If you meant an implied tip through the higher price of gas relative to what it would be if the station didn't have to pay their wages, then yes, you are paying for that man's services, which sucks.
sometimes wonder what other people think austria is like who've never been here.
Can't live anywhere because lolmountains, everyone has a gun and military training, there are multiple banks everywhere open all the time, yet there are no robberies. Also Hitler. (actually, that's Switzerland, not Austria, excluding Hitler).
The Netherlands: Drugs are available and non-prosecutable, nobody is stuck up about sex, you can even legally end your life without making a mess and all the obnoxious assholes take their trailers to annoy other nations during the summer and leaves the local people alone. Ah crap. I guess the only bad thing about the netherlands is that half the country is below sea level, or will be ocean floor in the near future.
Australia, to me, is a combination of "He Died with a Falafel in his Hands" and "Mad Max."
Randomly, I know exactly where one of the houses is that the events of "He Died with a Falafel in his Hands" occurred in. Because I lived there, The shitpile share house on Duke Street.
Australians = REALLY drunks with muscle cars
Lies and Slander, that's just me. And a lot of the people I know. Wait...shit.
Whenever I think of Australia, it conjures an image of a lush jungle island. And everything is spiders. The plants are spiders, the animals are spiders, the people are being attacked simultaneously by so many spiders that it could be argued that, since so much of the space that constitutes their physical body is now full of spiders, they are indeed a swarm of spiders. The island itself is also just some large aquatic spider, so ancient and terrible that it didn't even notice a horrible spider-filled prison was being constructed on top of its putrescent exoskeleton. Obviously, spiders constructed this prison, out of other spiders.
I've had this idea for several years, after accidentally deciding to educate myself about Australia because I knew nothing about it. I also have arachnophobia.
I've had this idea for several years, after accidentally deciding to educate myself about Australia because I knew nothing about it. I also have arachnophobia.
If you have any questions about things which are not necessarily related to spiders, please direct your questions to this arachnid-colony-hivemind Me.
Why are you not worried about platypus? They don't do anything so civil as kill you, they inject you with a poison from an inch-long spur, which aggressively and excruciatingly painfully attacks the nerve endings while increasing your pain sensitivity to eleven and then ripping off the knob.
The strongest non-lethal dose of morphine doesn't even dull the pain, which can last for a year before it goes down. The treatment is for a doctor to sever the affected nerves, [i]because that's the only thing that works.[/i]
Or Kangaroos, Which not only have health bars and +5 dexterity, are bigger than you, hyperagressive, and can disembowel you with a kick?
And why don't you feel sorry for the Thylacine? Cute little bastards, like this. Aww. It's like a stripey puppy. Come on, little fella, give us a grin? JEEEEEEZUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU FILTHY HELLBEAST SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
Oh, you know what else?
Hi, Pleased to meet you. I'm 20 feet and nearly three thousand pounds of half dinosaur, half murderous eating machine, that can outpace a horse over short distances, leap 6 feet vertically out of the water, either attacks and attempts to eat anything smaller than me, or attempts to mate with it if that doesn't work, and thinks you look like a particularly tasty snack. I'm not a psychotic beast, I'm quite simple really. I'm just pure reptilian evil, and you're made of meat. I happen to eat meat, you see, so I'm afraid this is going to be a very short working relationship.
Back on spiders, how about that psychotic murder-beast, the funnelweb spider? It's twice the size of a huntsman, ludicrously venomous(why does something that eats insects need enough venom to drop an elephant?) and insanely aggressive. As in, other spiders will run away from you, and only attack if cornered or threatened. The Funnelweb, however, will rear back and threaten you as soon as you come near it, and will actively chase you and attempt to do horribly painful murder to you.
You know what's really fucked up? It's not just the animals. We have a tree that has ludicrously painful venom(quite similar to platypus venom, oddly enough), covered top to taproot with hollow silica glass spines full of poison - which doesn't go off, it lasts effectively forever, if a leaf drops in a river, and you step on it ten years later, it's just as bad as getting a fresh one - but these silica glass spines, as the tree moves in the wind, they snap off, meaning the tree is almost constantly surrounded by a cloud of floating glass spines, which make you bleed painfully from the mouth, eyes, nose and ears if you stand under it too long. The only safe way to handle this thing is with welding gloves and full breathing and sealed eye protection, with no exposed skin.
You make jokes, but you know NOTHING. I have seen horrors beyond your imagining and for once I'm not talking about one of my ex-girlfriends. Mostly.
If you have any questions about things which are not necessarily related to spiders, please direct your questions tothis arachnid-colony-hivemindMe.
Well, as my highest aspiration in life is to become a world-renowned God-Chef, I'm always eager to learn about the nature of an area's food from a local. I've taken the liberty of constructing a chart that contains the entirety of my knowledge about Australian cuisine, so that you know where to begin, or what holes need to be filled in, or what misconceptions I might unknowingly have.
You know what's really fucked up? It's not just the animals. We have a tree that has ludicrously painful venom(quite similar to platypus venom, oddly enough), covered top to taproot with hollow silica glass spines full of poison - which doesn't go off, it lasts effectively forever, if a leaf drops in a river, and you step on it ten years later, it's just as bad as getting a fresh one - but these silica glass spines, as the tree moves in the wind, they snap off, meaning the tree is almost constantly surrounded by a cloud of floating glass spines, which make you bleed painfully from the mouth, eyes, nose and ears if you stand under it too long. The only safe way to handle this thing is with welding gloves and full breathing and sealed eye protection, with no exposed skin.
Oh fucking shit I want to go to Australia so bad. Nature is glorious. It's like you guys live on fucking Catachan.
Well, as my highest aspiration in life is to become a world-renowned God-Chef, I'm always eager to learn about the nature of an area's food from a local. I've taken the liberty of constructing a chart that contains the entirety of my knowledge about Australian cuisine, so that you know where to begin, or what holes need to be filled in, or what misconceptions I might unknowingly have.
You Have a lot to learn, my friend. Time for a crash course.
First of all, we have a lot of the usual imports - Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Hungry Jack's (What we call Burger king here, because there was already a takeaway in Adelaide which had the Burger King Name trademarked here, fought it out in court, and won), Domino's Pizza, and McDonald's. We Have a chain called Wendy's, but it's full name is Wendy's Supa Sundaes, and is entirely unrelated to Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers. Other Australian Fast Food chains include Red Rooster(Also nicknamed Red Rooter), Chicken Treat, Eagle Boys Pizza and Pizza Haven(As well as smaller Gormet Chains, such as Hell Pizza and Pizza Capers), and Portugese chicken franchises Nandos and Oporto, whose Peri-Peri chips are the fucking business, son. Bakeries are also popular and plentiful, and are regularly of a very high standard, as well as being very, very cheap.
Also, Our food is largely influenced by Asia, particularly china, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Vietnam and Thailand, as well as a good dash of west asian and Mediterranean influences, Such as Indian, Pakistani, Moroccan, Lots of Greek, Lebanese and italian, with some Turkish and Spanish too. Thanks to the Agreeable climate and plentiful land, We can and do grow just about everything, and both Fresh produce and good meat is plentiful, and both are often quite cheap.
Barbecues are commonplace - If it's not already cooked on a barbecue, then by christ we will find a way. It's an all-purpose event. Friends coming over for the footy? Barbecue. A nice dinner? Barbecue. Kids birthday party? Barbecue. 21st? Barbecue. You can use it for anything, and we do. We even have a common fundraising event called a Sausage Sizzle, where essentially, barbecues are deployed, sausages(and often onion rings) are cooked, put in bread and sold, often with a cold can of drink, and proceeds go to the group throwing the event - You'll often see them of a weekend outside Bunnings(Our big hardware store chain), or in parking lots all about. Other favorites for the barbecue are Steak of all kinds, Barbecue chicken of all kinds, Ribs(both rack and seperated), Prawns(Not shrimp, you fucking cretins), Fish, and pineapple.
Breakfast, people who eat breakfast tend towards cooler foods, such as cereals, Yoghurt, and fruit for the warmer months, and Porridge and other such hot foods during the winter. Toast is all around for both, usually with a spread, including, yes, Vegemite, which is salty and delicious, unlike Marmite, which is thin, watery, and tastes like licking a hospital. PROTIP - Spread your Vegemite thin, for christ's sake, you're not used to it. And it goes well combined with unsalted butter. It also makes a damn fine basting, thinned down a little.
Lunch is lunch. It's highly variable - where a business lunch might be steaks and beer at a Belgian Beer Garden, grabbing lunch when you're out shopping might be a quick and easy focaccia wrap with a large coffee from the nearest cafe. It's a mid size meal.
Dinner is the Big one, taken in the evening, usually at home. What you get here is essentially a case of "Whad'ya feel like?", or if you're a guest in a home, according to the tastes and backgrounds of the family, or at the least, the people sitting down to eat. The common ones include roast meat and vegetables, pasta, pizza, casseroles, barbecued meat, vegetables, salad, soup and stir-fries.
As for eating at odd times, that's as variable as the kinds of food you can legally get away with selling. I've seen everything sold from the simple Kebab, AKA, the Greasy Lamb Sandwich, properly called a Shawarma, or yiros. This was also a great source of disappointment to me during my time in England, Where it seems "Kebab" Means "Give me a styrafoam box of shitty, overcooked, super-salted Doner meat." Many people consider the Kebab to be a healthier thing to eat than, say, Maccas, but they are super fucking wrong, however, Kebabs make up for abusing your body in ways that your body was never intended for by being the most delicious thing on the face of the earth, especially when they are consumed according to the Australian tradition, which is with your mates, at 3AM, when you're staggeringly drunk.
Maybe another time, we can move through candy, but I will also give you a bonus - First of all, iconic Australian foods, which include Macadamia nuts, Violet Crumble(A bar of light honeycomb coated in chocolate), Cherry Ripe(whole pieces of cherry and coconut covered in Old Gold dark chocolate), Jaffas(A Chocolate centre in a crunchy orange flavour shell), The Chiko Roll(Very similar to a Spring roll and a dim sim, containing beef, celery, cabbage, barley, carrot, onion, green beans, and spices. It has a thick coating, to survive being carried at football matches, and was originally called the chicken roll, despite not having an ounce of chicken in it), Musk sticks(Hard to describe, but delicious to eat), Fairy bread(Bread covered in Nonpareils, aka, hundreds and thousands) Lamingtons(Delicious sponge cakes coated with chocolate and desiccated coconut), the Boston bun(Yes, Seriously), the Vanilla slice, The Mars Slice(Our own version of the Nanimo bar) and Weet-Bix(Little bricks of wheat), ANZAC Biscuts and Pavlova(both of which we share with New Zealand, the former being a rolled oat biscut, the latter being a meringue based desert named after Russian Ballerina ÃÂnna Pávlova), as well as, of course, the Meat Pie(No, England, Pork does not make for a good meat pie, you filthy pedants, they should be beef), Damper(A sort of soda bread), Morton Bay Bugs, and of course, Kangaroo.
What's the name of this tree?
Gympie Gympie, If you've not closely encountered it, or that fucking stinging bastard fucking tree, if you have.
This is all so fucking pertinent to my interests. I'm thinking of signing with a nighthawking company after I get my MD; they basically pay to ship you to a locale where it's day when it's way late/way early in America, and you use your American board certs to telecommute and read x-rays. Fortunately, there are only a few places this is feasible: Australia, Japan, Hawaii. Stay three months, then a nine month rotation at your hospital in the states.
It's a good fucking gig.
I need to work out exactly how to get to Australia before that, though.
Comments
Jersey Shore? Yeah, that shit actually happens. Half the people on Jersey Shore aren't actually from New Jersey? Same statistic translates to the actual people doing ridiculous things at the actual jersey shore.
As for other countries, I don't really have strong opinions on any of them. I view things in the same way as the Jersey comparions. All of the ridiculous stereotypes are likely based in some small truth, but that they are largely overblown.
If you meant an implied tip through the higher price of gas relative to what it would be if the station didn't have to pay their wages, then yes, you are paying for that man's services, which sucks. The cost of gas always seems to be best at home rather than other places though. Can't say I know enough to determine why. Maybe taxes, shipping routes? Who knows, but long story short I don't mind paying for the man b/c the gas is already cheaper than the surrounding area.
Also, chaosof99 has the right idea.
Where is King Hippo from. Eastern Europe?
My kind of place.
I've had this idea for several years, after accidentally deciding to educate myself about Australia because I knew nothing about it. I also have arachnophobia.
Why are you not worried about platypus? They don't do anything so civil as kill you, they inject you with a poison from an inch-long spur, which aggressively and excruciatingly painfully attacks the nerve endings while increasing your pain sensitivity to eleven and then ripping off the knob.
The strongest non-lethal dose of morphine doesn't even dull the pain, which can last for a year before it goes down. The treatment is for a doctor to sever the affected nerves, [i]because that's the only thing that works.[/i]
Or Kangaroos, Which not only have health bars and +5 dexterity, are bigger than you, hyperagressive, and can disembowel you with a kick?
And why don't you feel sorry for the Thylacine? Cute little bastards, like this.
Aww. It's like a stripey puppy. Come on, little fella, give us a grin?
JEEEEEEZUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU FILTHY HELLBEAST SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
Oh, you know what else?
Hi, Pleased to meet you. I'm 20 feet and nearly three thousand pounds of half dinosaur, half murderous eating machine, that can outpace a horse over short distances, leap 6 feet vertically out of the water, either attacks and attempts to eat anything smaller than me, or attempts to mate with it if that doesn't work, and thinks you look like a particularly tasty snack.
I'm not a psychotic beast, I'm quite simple really. I'm just pure reptilian evil, and you're made of meat. I happen to eat meat, you see, so I'm afraid this is going to be a very short working relationship.
Back on spiders, how about that psychotic murder-beast, the funnelweb spider? It's twice the size of a huntsman, ludicrously venomous(why does something that eats insects need enough venom to drop an elephant?) and insanely aggressive. As in, other spiders will run away from you, and only attack if cornered or threatened.
The Funnelweb, however, will rear back and threaten you as soon as you come near it, and will actively chase you and attempt to do horribly painful murder to you.
You know what's really fucked up? It's not just the animals. We have a tree that has ludicrously painful venom(quite similar to platypus venom, oddly enough), covered top to taproot with hollow silica glass spines full of poison - which doesn't go off, it lasts effectively forever, if a leaf drops in a river, and you step on it ten years later, it's just as bad as getting a fresh one - but these silica glass spines, as the tree moves in the wind, they snap off, meaning the tree is almost constantly surrounded by a cloud of floating glass spines, which make you bleed painfully from the mouth, eyes, nose and ears if you stand under it too long. The only safe way to handle this thing is with welding gloves and full breathing and sealed eye protection, with no exposed skin.
You make jokes, but you know NOTHING. I have seen horrors beyond your imagining and for once I'm not talking about one of my ex-girlfriends. Mostly.
What's the name of this tree?
EDIT: Found it.
First of all, we have a lot of the usual imports - Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Hungry Jack's (What we call Burger king here, because there was already a takeaway in Adelaide which had the Burger King Name trademarked here, fought it out in court, and won), Domino's Pizza, and McDonald's. We Have a chain called Wendy's, but it's full name is Wendy's Supa Sundaes, and is entirely unrelated to Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers.
Other Australian Fast Food chains include Red Rooster(Also nicknamed Red Rooter), Chicken Treat, Eagle Boys Pizza and Pizza Haven(As well as smaller Gormet Chains, such as Hell Pizza and Pizza Capers), and Portugese chicken franchises Nandos and Oporto, whose Peri-Peri chips are the fucking business, son.
Bakeries are also popular and plentiful, and are regularly of a very high standard, as well as being very, very cheap.
Also, Our food is largely influenced by Asia, particularly china, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Vietnam and Thailand, as well as a good dash of west asian and Mediterranean influences, Such as Indian, Pakistani, Moroccan, Lots of Greek, Lebanese and italian, with some Turkish and Spanish too.
Thanks to the Agreeable climate and plentiful land, We can and do grow just about everything, and both Fresh produce and good meat is plentiful, and both are often quite cheap.
Barbecues are commonplace - If it's not already cooked on a barbecue, then by christ we will find a way. It's an all-purpose event. Friends coming over for the footy? Barbecue. A nice dinner? Barbecue. Kids birthday party? Barbecue. 21st? Barbecue. You can use it for anything, and we do. We even have a common fundraising event called a Sausage Sizzle, where essentially, barbecues are deployed, sausages(and often onion rings) are cooked, put in bread and sold, often with a cold can of drink, and proceeds go to the group throwing the event - You'll often see them of a weekend outside Bunnings(Our big hardware store chain), or in parking lots all about.
Other favorites for the barbecue are Steak of all kinds, Barbecue chicken of all kinds, Ribs(both rack and seperated), Prawns(Not shrimp, you fucking cretins), Fish, and pineapple.
Breakfast, people who eat breakfast tend towards cooler foods, such as cereals, Yoghurt, and fruit for the warmer months, and Porridge and other such hot foods during the winter. Toast is all around for both, usually with a spread, including, yes, Vegemite, which is salty and delicious, unlike Marmite, which is thin, watery, and tastes like licking a hospital.
PROTIP - Spread your Vegemite thin, for christ's sake, you're not used to it. And it goes well combined with unsalted butter. It also makes a damn fine basting, thinned down a little.
Lunch is lunch. It's highly variable - where a business lunch might be steaks and beer at a Belgian Beer Garden, grabbing lunch when you're out shopping might be a quick and easy focaccia wrap with a large coffee from the nearest cafe. It's a mid size meal.
Dinner is the Big one, taken in the evening, usually at home. What you get here is essentially a case of "Whad'ya feel like?", or if you're a guest in a home, according to the tastes and backgrounds of the family, or at the least, the people sitting down to eat. The common ones include roast meat and vegetables, pasta, pizza, casseroles, barbecued meat, vegetables, salad, soup and stir-fries.
Now, Let's stop for a moment and discuss the Cafe Culture.
Cafés - They're fucking everywhere. You could throw a brick in the Centre of most Australian cities, and if you didn't hit a Cafe, You either are a supreme marksman, or can't throw for shit. The standard of quality for coffee is very high, and it's a bloodthirsty market - If you don't have good coffee, then you're going to fail, probably quickly. Decent enough generally isn't good enough - starbucks is relatively good here, but they failed almost totally because they were beaten by the death of a thousand cuts - they were good, but everywhere they opened up, they were surrounded by about 20 Cafes that were better.
The only places they've survived are places where they are the only ones who can afford the rent, or areas that are heavy in tourist traffic or wankers, such as the Gold Coast.
Often, Cafes will be smaller operations, but there are also larger chains, such as Zaraffas and Gloria Jean's. Most of them serve cakes, Muffins, and light snack food, like wraps, sandwiches, melts, and so on.
Also, it should be noted - there are quite a few places where you can get Doughnuts, made hot and fresh, to order, or in the case of Donuts, made fresh and heated upon request. Donut King is my personal favourite - 15 bucks will get you about 35 piping-hot, fresh as a daisy Doughnuts, as my sister recently discovered by walking up to a Donut King and saying "Hey, hi, I'd like as many Fresh Cinnamon Doughnuts as I can get for 15 bucks, please."
(This is a highly embellished re-enactment, as my sister never says "please")
As for eating at odd times, that's as variable as the kinds of food you can legally get away with selling. I've seen everything sold from the simple Kebab, AKA, the Greasy Lamb Sandwich, properly called a Shawarma, or yiros. This was also a great source of disappointment to me during my time in England, Where it seems "Kebab" Means "Give me a styrafoam box of shitty, overcooked, super-salted Doner meat."
Many people consider the Kebab to be a healthier thing to eat than, say, Maccas, but they are super fucking wrong, however, Kebabs make up for abusing your body in ways that your body was never intended for by being the most delicious thing on the face of the earth, especially when they are consumed according to the Australian tradition, which is with your mates, at 3AM, when you're staggeringly drunk.
Maybe another time, we can move through candy, but I will also give you a bonus - First of all, iconic Australian foods, which include Macadamia nuts, Violet Crumble(A bar of light honeycomb coated in chocolate), Cherry Ripe(whole pieces of cherry and coconut covered in Old Gold dark chocolate), Jaffas(A Chocolate centre in a crunchy orange flavour shell), The Chiko Roll(Very similar to a Spring roll and a dim sim, containing beef, celery, cabbage, barley, carrot, onion, green beans, and spices. It has a thick coating, to survive being carried at football matches, and was originally called the chicken roll, despite not having an ounce of chicken in it), Musk sticks(Hard to describe, but delicious to eat), Fairy bread(Bread covered in Nonpareils, aka, hundreds and thousands) Lamingtons(Delicious sponge cakes coated with chocolate and desiccated coconut), the Boston bun(Yes, Seriously), the Vanilla slice, The Mars Slice(Our own version of the Nanimo bar) and Weet-Bix(Little bricks of wheat), ANZAC Biscuts and Pavlova(both of which we share with New Zealand, the former being a rolled oat biscut, the latter being a meringue based desert named after Russian Ballerina ÃÂnna Pávlova), as well as, of course, the Meat Pie(No, England, Pork does not make for a good meat pie, you filthy pedants, they should be beef), Damper(A sort of soda bread), Morton Bay Bugs, and of course, Kangaroo. Gympie Gympie, If you've not closely encountered it, or that fucking stinging bastard fucking tree, if you have.
It's a good fucking gig.
I need to work out exactly how to get to Australia before that, though.