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Your favorite lines from NPCs

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  • edited June 2013
    (Any Planescape: Torment fans?)

    Nordom: Morte, I have a question. Do you have a destiny? A purpose?
    Morte: Is Annah still wearing clothes?
    Nordom: Affirmative.
    Morte: Then the answer is 'yes'.
    Basically, I'm a fan of the entire text of Planescape: Torment.

    My favorite bit is when TNO plays with the Modron Cube toy until Morte gets upset.
    The small metal toy I held in my hands was the Modron Cube I bought from Vrischika, a replica of a cube-like creature with huge eyes on one of its faces. The toy had two legs, two arms, two folding wings, and at least eighteen points of articulation. Maybe it was a collector's item. Not in its original packaging, so it was certainly free for play.

    I moved the arms and made sword-fighting noises. Swoosh, whish, k-ching.

    The toy clicked and whirred as I moved its clockwork joints. Within moments, the tiny cube had vanquished every imaginary opponent I had sent against it, and settled back to its normal position.

    I waved its arms and made cheering noises. Raaaaaah. Raaaaaaaah.

    Hordes of imaginary creatures from across the Planes cheered the cube's victory. I could almost see a tiny oily tear brimming on one of its eyes... it was a hero, the greatest cube ever to roam the Planes, and everyone loved it. In my mind, Fall-from-Grace and Annah hugged it and showered it with kisses.

    I sighed, and tucked it quietly on my lap to rest for future battles against the multiverse.

    Morte stared at me and shook his head.

    "What's that, cube hero? 'Morte's a stupid skull?' Why, yes he is, isn't he, cube hero?"

    Morte sputtered, "Hey! It didn't say that!"

    "Yes, it did! It said it just now!"

    "Wh --?! Gimme that thing!"

    I held the Modron Cube away from him, "No, it's mine. He only wants to hang out with me anyway. Don't you, cube hero? Yes, you do!"

    "I. Just. Want. To. Hold. It. For. A. Second."

    I grinned, "But you don't have any hands."

    "I'll hold it in my TEETH."

    "No, I think I'll just put it away for now," I said, sticking out my tongue.

    "I'm gonna smash that modron cube to bits," Morte grumbled under his breath.

    "Did you hear anything, cube hero? Neither did I!"
    Post edited by okeefe on
  • I AM SINISTAR

    BEWARE I LIVE
    RUN COWARD
  • "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."
  • "Enemies everywhere!"
    "I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
  • "Enemies everywhere!"
    I still shout that at my friends when I'm surrounded.
  • I shout it randomly at malls and supermarkets when I don't take my medication.
  • The bale of hay boss in Conker's Bad Fur Day: "I'm going to wander around... Aimlessly."
  • edited June 2013
    image



    Also:
    "El Pollo Diablo, the Giant Demon Chicken! Tall as a man and twice as powerful, his massive drumsticks propel him through the dark jungle with ease. No one has seen the Beast, but on the eve of the full moon his blood-curdling squawk can be heard from every corner of this wretched island. In the dark of night, he roosts patiently, watching, waiting, for the one day he roams the island, exacting terrible vengeance on those who would capture and eat his smaller brethren."

    "There were others like you, skeptical to the true nature of the Beast, but they're all dead now, pecked into a bloody pulp by his savage beak."
    Post edited by chaosof99 on
  • Is quoting Portal blasé enough for me to do it ironically? Or is quoting Portal ironically blasé enough to be meta?

    "Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor consulta el manual. I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!"
  • "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."
    Great, now I have to play that awesome game and get nothing done today.

  • Not exactly an NPC (it's kinda complicated as this character has multiple personality disorder and he's an NPC when one of his personalities kicks in and when he states this line), but it's a good one:

    "That was interesting. But dropping a warship on me is cheating. Take it back!"
  • Does an antagonist count as an NPC int this context? If so:

    "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!"

    also:

    "Welcome stranger! What are ya buyin?"
  • No-Bark Noonan
    Best part: The majority of what he says is true.
    Haaaaa what. XD
    "Enchantment!" - Sandal
    "Hey! Listen!" - Navi

    You're welcome.

    But for serious...
    "May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce."
    Navi is definitely a necessity. Thanks.
    The bale of hay boss in Conker's Bad Fur Day: "I'm going to wander around... Aimlessly."
    :) I can't believe I forgot about the NPCs in this game. It holds a special place in my heart--my mom always thought she didn't want me playing violent games. After I borrowed Conker's Bad Fur Day from my cousin, she told me anything else was fine, but she just didn't want me playing that game.

    image

    Paintpot: I've seen some kicking ass in my time, and that was the shittiest, crappiest, crappest, shittest kick ass I've ever seen.

    Paintbrush: Yeah, that was pretty crap. As far as kickin' ass goes, it was abysmal, and you is a shitty bastard, stupid bastard. Isn't he?

  • Anything pretty much in Animal Crossing. The Kappn's songs are hilarious coming back from the Island.
  • edited June 2013
    "Come get your sacred objects!" -pretty much any salesman NPC in Outcast, referring to commonplace human items. Damn that was an underrated game. The soundtrack was amazing.

    EDIT: It's on GOG! You should play this.
    Post edited by YoshoKatana on
  • Everything Deckard Cain has ever said. I want a Deckard Cain flash mob.

    http://diablo2.diablowiki.net/Deckard_Cain
    http://diablo2.diablowiki.net/Cain_the_Elder

    And space marines:

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Warhammer_40,000:_Dawn_of_War
    Just expand that to "Everything ever said by anyone in Diablo."

    Every time I'm cutting up a primal or other large piece of animal, the only thought in my head is "Ahhh, fresh meat!"

  • The Earthbound NPCs are all jerks
  • GeoGeo
    edited June 2013
    The Earthbound NPCs are all awesome and hilarious.
    Post edited by Geo on
  • Aww man. Yeah. Earthbound has the best dialogue. I'm overwhelmed with examples. XP
  • "The milk is not ready for you and you are not ready for the milk!"
  • Aww man. Yeah. Earthbound has the best dialogue. I'm overwhelmed with examples. XP
    This is my submarine. The yellow color is entirely coincidental.

  • "The milk is not ready for you and you are not ready for the milk!"
    "I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious."
  • "The milk is not ready for you and you are not ready for the milk!"
    "I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious."
    Psychonauts?
  • "The milk is not ready for you and you are not ready for the milk!"
    "I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious."
    Psychonauts?
    Yes. So good. Forgot about that.
    Also from Psychonauts:
    "Raz: [Shaking her] Lili! A deranged madman is building a fleet of psycho-death tanks to take over the world, and there's no one who can stop him, except for you and me!
    Lili: OH MY GOD! Let's make out!"
  • edited June 2013
    "Sir Issac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
    Post edited by Alex on
  • "You're unlike anyone I've ever met. You belong to the storytime. "

    I would quote more from Dreamfall, but shit that "game" is so story intensive that any line I remember would be a spoiler.
  • "Wow! This place is locked up tighter than Killian's... No, no sir I didn't say anything..."
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