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GeekNights 20110922 - Weddings

MrPeriodMrPeriod
edited September 2011 in GeekNights

Tonight on GeekNights, we ramble about weddings in a general sense after having happened to have attended an enjoyable example of one. No news, no things of the day, no nothing! What's going on? Maybe Ponies got in the way...

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    • KapitänTimKapitänTim
      A Friday show?
    • open_sketchbookopen_sketchbook
      A show, on friday? No news, no things of the day?

      Geeknights has jumped the shark. I'm out of here.
    • CremlianCremlian
      edited September 2011
      Wedding Pro-Tip: Get Pete to officiant your Wedding

      Get my Wife (Laura "Your Mom") To plan your wedding.

      That is all.
      Post edited by Cremlian on
    • VigaViga
      Oooh! Relevant to my interests!
    • YuyukeYuyuke
      I'm impressed, you managed to keep pony discussion to a bare minimum this time. It still wasn't zero, but we can't expect miracles immediately, now can we?

      Keep it up at this rate and you two will regain your humanity before long.

      [/Nine]
    • CremlianCremlian
      Rubin's Opinions on Party planning and weddings is kinda funny because I'm pretty sure Rubin has never planned an actual party in his life. Looking back at the 10 years I've known him I'm pretty sure at best he's helped in some small way with planning at most.

      I think a lot of Rubin's comments about cost are related to the fact that he doesn't have to get venues for events. For example once you get over 150 people you start to get in situations where you need a lot of supplies for the people attending. Backyards and such are nice but rain can complicate matters and you might not have a yard big enough. You can get shit cratering and do it for 10 bucks a person but to get a decent buffet meal it's probably going to cost more, a whatever course meal will cost you more then that. A waiter delivered meal would be probably 30 to 40 a person while a wedding probably falls in on 60-70 (note this is cheapo prices). Personally we went for the most bang for the buck. We ran the wedding like we were running a convention and budgeted accordingly. Mainly we wanted to cover the basics (Good Food, Good Music and Open Bar) That's all you need for a fun time.

      As for inviting people you don't know, the large groups of people I didn't know well (or had not seen in years) were tied to my parents. They were my parents FRC of their day. While I probably wouldn't have invited them all of them, my parents covered their costs and honestly by letting them invite them, I was helping them out so they didn't get in trouble with their friends. The biggest hassle between a "Party" and a "wedding" is the cap for invites.

      Ceremony, I agree, you want to personalize your ceremony. Keep it funny and short.
    • RymRym
      I'm pretty sure Rubin has never planned an actual party in his life.
      He paid for half the catering for our parties in Beacon, but I did all the rest of the planning and provided all the rest of the food/drinks.
    • AprecheApreche
      edited September 2011
      Backyards and such are nice but rain can complicate matters and you might not have a yard big enough.
      Public park and tent rentals. Renting tents costs money, but you only have to pay if it rains. With good weather, it will cost you nothing.

      Also, obviously if you want to throw any party food and such are going to be an expense. Even if you cook your own BBQ or whatever, you still have to buy a lot of meat at BJs or Costco. Most of the expenses I complain about are the unnecessary wasteful ones that are only for the sake of tradition. You can completely skip overpriced useless jewelry, tuxedos and dress rentals, fancy invitations that don't have poison envelopes, etc.

      Take a lesson from ponies. Hanging out at the doughnut shop with all your friends is a better party than the Grand Galloping Gala.
      Post edited by Apreche on
    • RymRym
      enting tents costs money, but you only have to pay if it rains. With good weather, it will cost you nothing.
      You can't rent them on short notice. You have to rent them long in advance and pay regardless of whether you need them.

      You obviously have never planned a large event of any kind. ;^)
    • AprecheApreche
      You can't rent them on short notice. You have to rent them long in advance and pay regardless of whether you need them.

      You obviously have never planned a large event of any kind. ;^)
      You order them in advance, and then you cancel them a week in advance once you get a reliable weather report. Even if the contract says otherwise, you just refuse to pay and put up a fight. Also, you only need one tent. Also, some public parks have picnic areas with wooden roofs, then you don't even need the tent in the first place.
    • lackofcheeselackofcheese
      Diamonds are far from useless; they have plenty of industrial applications.
    • RymRym
      Also, you only need one tent.
      You have no idea how much large tents cost, do you? Also, weather reports aren't that reliable a week out.
    • VigaViga
      I vote for no outdoor wedding because of the fact that it might rain or something stupid. If you think outside the box, there places with similar prices that are indoors.
    • AprecheApreche
      I vote for no outdoor wedding because of the fact that it might rain or something stupid. If you think outside the box, there places with similar prices that are indoors.
      There are cheap indoor places such as church basements and such. The problem is that once you are inside suddenly you need a kitchen, even if you are going to cook yourself. You also need to rent tables and chairs. Inside will cost way more money than outside.
    • Luke BurrageLuke Burrage
      It's funny you are having the discussion about wedding flowers. A friend of mine got engaged a few months ago, and is obviously sick of wedding planning already. He posted this video to Facebook yesterday:



      Says it all, I think!
    • CremlianCremlian
      edited September 2011
      There are cheap indoor places such as church basements and such. The problem is that once you are inside suddenly you need a kitchen, even if you are going to cook yourself. You also need to rent tables and chairs. Inside will cost way more money than outside.
      There are super big problems with cheap places. The big ones you run into with parks and church basements are the lack of abilities to have alcohol. Church Basements unless you happen to be at a mega-church tend to have a much smaller occupancy caps then other venues and may have restrictions on what music you can play or how long it can go (I.E. some of the worst weddings I've been to have been in church basements),. I've also found while I enjoy the outdoor weddings usually their dances are not as good as indoor weddings just because dark enclosed spaces always work better for that sort of stuff.

      Doing your own food and other things is great, but if you don't have the time or the help to do so your just causing yourself a lot of headaches. Obviously you are paying more to have no hassle right? Isn't that your motto?

      Also more wedding pro-tips, Fuck flower center pieces, they are completely useless and a candle can do the same job and be much better.
      Post edited by Cremlian on
    • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
      Fuck flower center pieces, they are completely useless and a candle can do the same job and be much better.
      And a roasting suckling pig? Even better.
    • Your MomYour Mom
      edited September 2011
      image

      Wedding Experience: Level Gained!

      You missed the best part about Scott dancing with his Mom and the clinking. She actually reached up to plant a big smooch on him. I about died. :)

      Comments/Advice that have not been said already:
      • Have a reasonable budget based on what you want and what you can afford, especially if you are paying for most or all of it. Don't go over said budget.
      • Know that you will never make everyone happy. Forget them. Your wedding is about you.
      • Venues can typically be acquired as either renting a hall and getting outside catering on top of that or seeking out a bundled package deal (which is what we went with). I know a good number of people who went with more of the budget route and used a fire station hall, which is usually available on shorter notice.
      • Take your significant other with you. Scott and I both went to pick out flowers, and he did a really good job on picking out the bridesmaid's bouquets.
      • Shop on sales and rock the colored gemstones. We paid less than $1000 for all three rings using quality metals and natural stones.
      • In allocating the budget, natural Flowers, if used, should be done sparingly, which helps to keep costs low. Real flowers for Bride's bouquet, corsages & boutonierre's, maybe an arrangement or two. It is worth way more to have a better DJ or photographer.
      • Centerpieces can vary widely based upon the type of event. We rocked the candles, but I actually had been looking at lanterns, mirrors and such, most of which could be bought at craft stores or online for 1/4 or less of the cost of flower centerpieces.
      • Insurance for liability? About $75. Not having to worry about Visigothing? Priceless.
      • Pick 2-3 colors. Let people wear whatever they want, so they could potentially wear whatever they'd want again. If I had to do it again, I'd have the guys actually buy a suit from like Kohls or JCPenney on sale. I had two 7.5 months pregnant bridesmaids, a flower girl and ring bearer both under the age of 2, and the guys. It was just easier to get the guys checked off the list by going to Men's Warehouse and say get fitted and they will give you X. I will also say that it is a general expectation that when friends take on a role to help in terms of the ceremony, you generally don't expect that they will do anything else in addition to that. So my lone college friend, who flew out from Colorado, purchased a Bridesmaid dress and shoes--which, since we are counting, is more expensive than the Groomsmen had to pay--and also sent some gifts, is awesome. I fully expect to reciprocate when I head out next summer for her wedding.
      • Really and truly, you can't help who you have to invite in terms of family. If you are lucky, they live far enough away that they may just send a card. :P However, for extended family and parent's friends: If your parents are paying, you are stuck with it. If you are paying, you can limit your parent's list size or strike anyone you don't want there.
      • The only traditions that I stuck to were the Unity Ceremony, the dances, and "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Sixpence in her Shoe." But we still bucked tradition as much as possible even within those parameters.
      Post edited by Your Mom on
    • CremlianCremlian
      hehe, that picture totally makes the venue look like it's somewhere really cool instead of in the back of a low income development :-p
    • TheWhaleSharkTheWhaleShark
      Someone should do a "guerilla" wedding. Combine urban exploration with a ceremony. Break into an old abandoned building, find the best/most dangerous spot, and do the ceremony.

      Cheap and epic.
    • Luke BurrageLuke Burrage
      Yup!

      I finished the podcast. As the best man of my brother's wedding, I booked a bouncy castle. It was awesome! Not only fun for adults, but in the evening, when all the adults wanted to relax, all the kids went to hang out at the bouncy castle, and didn't get in the way. Kids at weddings in the evening are the most annoying thing in the world.
    • Victor FrostVictor Frost
      Kids at weddings in the evening are the most annoying thing in the world.
    • GreatTeacherMacRossGreatTeacherMacRoss
      edited September 2011
      Laura covered a lot of what I would have added to the discussion, having not listened to the show as of yet. There are many, many options that you can choose if you look hard enough that will keep costs down. For our wedding, we went outdoors with a pavilion tent and dance floor, and since the weather held it was amazing. Our venue was basically the back yard of a couple who specialized in doing outdoor weddings, and we had the place for an entire week, not just a few hours. They did all the decorating to our specifications, and everything looked amazing. Friends gathered after dark when the ceremony and party was over in the back yard to hang out, snack, and drink. It also was significantly less expensive than any 'venue' we could have gotten.
      Food was scored by arranging catering from a local restaurant, and by doing a buffet style service instead of having tons of waiters and waitresses, everyone got to eat what they wanted, have multiple servings, and it kept costs way low.
      We also went with sapphire engagement rings instead of diamonds, and went with more conservative wedding bands.
      As far as invitations, Kate and I printed our own using Publisher, some good quality paper, and a bit of craftiness, and saved a fortune there too.
      The only issues we had were my mother wanting to invite many of her friends. Most of them had known me since I was a baby, but I had literally not seen or spoken to in over a decade. I honestly wouldn't recognize them if they walked past me. This caused some grief because we wanted to keep the number of invites lower, but it put my mom in an awkward position. I caved in and invited them, and really only regretted the one woman who showed up drunk, drank the whole time, stepped on Kate's dress, and got us a shitty, shitty gift. The up side is the family friends were very generous in their gift giving.
      Having run in to many of them at my sister's wedding a couple of weeks ago, it was a point of pride that almost all of them commented again that they thought our wedding was beautiful and unique, and very memorable. These people would not just say something like that to be polite about four years after the fact.
      Post edited by GreatTeacherMacRoss on
    • jlawson70jlawson70
      Also, ensure your best man, while taking on the role, does not take it too seriously. I was with my best man a few days before my wedding, some idiots I knew in high school bragged about crashing the wedding and kicking my ass. It wasn't until we were changing out of the tuxedos that I noticed my best man was packing a .45 Colt Commander. When I noted this, his reply was "This wedding was going to go off without a hitch, and if those idiots were going to go through with it, they would know I was serious."
    • pyxispyxis
      my best man was packing a .45 Colt Commander. When I noted this, his reply was "This wedding was going to go off without a hitch, and if those idiots were going to go through with it, they would know I was serious."
      Best best man ever.
    • Victor FrostVictor Frost
      my best man was packing a .45 Colt Commander. When I noted this, his reply was "This wedding was going to go off without a hitch, and if those idiots were going to go through with it, they would know I was serious."
      Best best man ever.
      Fuck Yeah.
    • ninjarabbininjarabbi
      edited September 2011
      I know it sounds horrible, but I sort of feel like I'd rather kill myself than live with the same person the rest of my life. I'm not saying I don't want to have a long term relationship, but marriage just seem like "well now my life is over" to me. I'm not saying that's how it is in general, but how it would feel to me. I just feel like I'd get on their nerves or they would get on mine and we'd just divorce and I'd lose a bunch of my shit. I think I'm destined to have a long term "Its complicated with..." Also even if I did get married, I'd rather just have a BBQ or go to Vegas or something because a regular one just seems stressful and expensive.
      Post edited by ninjarabbi on
    • CremlianCremlian
      I'm not saying I don't want to have a long term relationship, but marriage just seem like "well now my life is over" to me.
      I'm not sure what you mean? That would only happen if you married someone who restricted your behavior in some way that ended you as you are. I'd figure you just don't want to marry that type of person. I mean Marriage isn't for everyone but it's definitely not "Your life is over" that's when you have kids :-p (*Zing*) :-p
    • HMTKSteveHMTKSteve
      went with more conservative wedding bands.
      Knew it... lol

      After listening to this episode I have come to firmly believe that one member of the duo is unlikely to ever get married...
    • VigaViga
      Your Mom pretty much said everything I heard and wanted to know. I also am against flower decor and rather have candles. (We can use them still afterwards. They don't die and I can get them from my job for cheap.)

      We plan on having few traditions or making up one. Mostly there's Jewish wedding traditions I know a bit about and African Americans only have the broom jumping, but how to mix them. Plus having to cater to the tastes of two very different families food and music wise. Jed says screw it, it's our wedding and we are paying for it. Then I realized, fuck yeah, you are right! Anyone worried about this?

      So have anyone thought of unconventional places for weddings? We looked at art galleries, clubs and I we have settled our thoughts on a Victorian style place at a train station. It works since we're into the steampunk thing ya know.
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