A lot of the Jewish Wedding Traditions are pretty awesome actually.
Isn't the whole "Okay, we're gonna carry you two on chairs" thing jewish? I've always thought that was kinda cool.
The chair thing is awesome and was the first thing I mentioned after screaming happiness when I got engaged. Then the glass stomp thing. So it's like do we jump a broom onto a glass. (Sounds hilarious and we are into that.) Other stuff, I don't know much about.
Also if it is your wedding, don't let pictures get in the way of eating. We had amazing catering from a family friend who runs a few restaurants in the area, made up of items not actually on the menu, and post ceremony pictures as well as getting congratulated by everyone distracted us enough that we barely ate any of the food.
I'm not saying I don't want to have a long term relationship, but marriage just seem like "well now my life is over" to me.
I'm not sure what you mean? That would only happen if you married someone who restricted your behavior in some way that ended you as you are. I'd figure you just don't want to marry that type of person. I mean Marriage isn't for everyone but it's definitely not "Your life is over" that's when you have kids :-p (*Zing*) :-p
Well I didn't mean it literally, but I just sort of don't want to really settle down or anything like that any time soon. And lots of people think they didn't marry "that type of person" but later on realize they did. That is by no means all marriages, but that's kind of how I see a lot of them and don't really want to risk it. I also just can't see really living in close quarters with anyone permanently, but that's just me.
- If you have distant relatives you don't really know, but live far and are 99% sure they will not show up, send them an invite! They will feel obligated by old people traditions to send you money just because you invited them! - For bridesmaids, get black dresses. Don't make them floor length. Your lady friends may actually wind up using these dresses again. (my family business is a wedding dress shop so I know oddly too much about this stuff. Oh and if anyone needs a good deal, let me know) - Screw big fancy handwritten thank you cards. There are services on the web where you can have a photo postcard with a nice thank you message printed on it, upload your list of addresses, and they will send the photo straight there. Time saver is worth the nominal charge. - Last one. Don't go on some crazy crash diet trying to change the way you look for this wedding. You look fine, and will look great on your wedding regardless. Odds are if you take drastic measures to change yourself, you are going to bounce right back to where you were, and you will look different in all of your photos. This leads to "wedding shot as my profile pic for 5 years" syndrome, followed by making it a picture of your dog/child.
I also just can't see really living in close quarters with anyone permanently, but that's just me.
I think most people feel like this. But then you meet someone, and you soon realize that all the worries that you had are unfounded. The benefits of having someone around to share you life are totally outweighed by the mild inconveniences.
I also just can't see really living in close quarters with anyone permanently, but that's just me.
I think most people feel like this. But then you meet someone, and you soon realize that all the worries that you had are unfounded. The benefits of having someone around to share you life are totally outweighed by the mild inconveniences.
Cooking for one is a lonely and sad affair. Cooking for two is a wonderful thing.
I never made interesting side dishes or even bothered with presentation when I was cooking a single meal for myself. But living with someone, cooking is an enjoyable task. ^_~
I also just can't see really living in close quarters with anyone permanently, but that's just me.
I think most people feel like this. But then you meet someone, and you soon realize that all the worries that you had are unfounded. The benefits of having someone around to share you life are totally outweighed by the mild inconveniences.
It's kind of like "Best Roommate EVER!" I am not married, but I was a little worried when I first moved in with Rym years ago, because I tend to do very well in circumstances where I am solitary for much of the time and also can arrange my surroundings just so. It totally balances out, though. It's great to share dinner, and have someone to run with. Sometimes I am cranky, but most of the time I am more happy having someone around that I can talk to. I just think of marriage as cohabitation, with a contract that designates the other person as your co-pilot, backup, command partner in the eyes of the law. If anything happens to you, they can deal with it. If your co-pilot starts being unreliable or driving you crazy, you should withdraw that responsibility.
Very poignant topic, since I'm working on planning out our wedding currently.
Weddings are so crazy expensive, though. Thankfully we were able to save a lot of costs by doing a few things:
Since we are paying for it ourselves, we get to decide who gets to attend. Thus, we slimmed the list down from 200 or so people to 75.
Since it is impossible for us to cook our own food, serve/keep it warm, and serve it to our guests.. we managed to convince the parents-in-law to take care of the food. So they are handling catering.
The venues are managing to be really, really cheap. We're renting out a significant portion of the local public park, which is really awesome (also there is the chance that our wedding photos will include massive container ships).
One of our friends' dad is dean of the local law school and is an atheist, so he'll be officiating for free (and will likely do an awesome job!).
We're also managing to do a wedding dress that is going to be able to double as an evening gown, and I need a new suit anyway so I'll just get a nice one for the wedding. Also it helps that we have a graphic designer friend doing the invitations for cost.
Since we are paying for it ourselves, we get to decide who gets to attend. Thus, we slimmed the list down from 200 or so people to 75.
I love this fact about doing it ourselves. No family to yell at me for excluding or trying to control anything. The only bad side is saving gradually.
My two three four tips:
- If you have distant relatives you don't really know, but live far and are 99% sure they will not show up, send them an invite! They will feel obligated by old people traditions to send you money just because you invited them! - For bridesmaids, get black dresses. Don't make them floor length. Your lady friends may actually wind up using these dresses again. (my family business is a wedding dress shop so I know oddly too much about this stuff. Oh and if anyone needs a good deal, let me know) - Screw big fancy handwritten thank you cards. There are services on the web where you can have a photo postcard with a nice thank you message printed on it, upload your list of addresses, and they will send the photo straight there. Time saver is worth the nominal charge. - Last one. Don't go on some crazy crash diet trying to change the way you look for this wedding. You look fine, and will look great on your wedding regardless. Odds are if you take drastic measures to change yourself, you are going to bounce right back to where you were, and you will look different in all of your photos. This leads to "wedding shot as my profile pic for 5 years" syndrome, followed by making it a picture of your dog/child.
I'm letting the bridesmaids choose their own dress. We all have different body types and certain types of dresses looks best on certain types. The only thing that is needed is a shade of a color, that way they also have a choice of lighter or darker. Plus, like you said, they can wear them whenever!
Thank you cards? I wasn't gonna spend cash on it. I'll just call/FB/Tweet/whatever.
1) Date for at least a year before even discussing moving in together.
2) Live together for at least a year before seriously considering marriage.
3) Hope for a long and rocky engagement to insure that both of you are capable of dealing with the ups and downs of a long term relationship.
4) Until you sign the marriage license you can still walk away a single person.
I agree with these for the most part. I guess I would not hope for drama so you get used to dealing with it, but you do need to be able to deal with the person even in various less than desirable conditions. (Such as if they are in a funk.) Any long term relationship provides conditions under which you can not so easily walk away. What if you have pets? There are still lots of ownership questions and responsibilities to be settled, that dwarf the legal proceedings. Breakups are hard to just walk away from, as long as there is a certain amount of shared property.
2) Live together for at least a year before seriously considering marriage.
Don't count living together in college towards this time. That is a fantasy land and one or both your may change considerably once you enter the real world. Get jobs and get settled together THEN propose after a year.
Alternate advice : Don't get married. There is no amount of time you can spend with somebody that will let you know their secret motivations. Everyone is out to get you and to screw you over if you give them half a chance. Trust no one and trust yourself less.
Alternate advice : Don't get married. There is no amount of time you can spend with somebody that will let you know their secret motivations. Everyone is out to get you and to screw you over if you give them half a chance. Trust no one and trust yourself less.
Alternate advice : Don't get married. There is no amount of time you can spend with somebody that will let you know their secret motivations. Everyone is out to get you and to screw you over if you give them half a chance. Trust no one and trust yourself less.
You can know if you cut them open and look inside.....
Cooking for one is a lonely and sad affair. Cooking for two is a wonderful thing.
Fuck you, I love cooking for me.
I really enjoy cooking for myself. Less so for other people. For myself, there's no pressure! I can cook shit food badly, and as long as I enjoy it, that's fine. I'm one of the best pancake (English pancake) cooks I know, and that comes from lots of practice. But if I'm cooking for anyone else, and I'm not making pancakes, I'm never sure if it will work out well, or if they'll enjoy it. Cooking just isn't a skill I'm good at, nor am I willing to practice on other people.
I really enjoy cooking for myself. Less so for other people. For myself, there's no pressure! I can cook shit food badly, and as long as I enjoy it, that's fine. I'm one of the best pancake (English pancake) cooks I know, and that comes from lots of practice.
It's not like you're practicing knife throwing on other people.
I really enjoy cooking for myself. Less so for other people. For myself, there's no pressure! I can cook shit food badly, and as long as I enjoy it, that's fine.
Huh, this is an interesting statement, because it implies to me that a large part of why you don't like cooking for other people is the pressure that such a situation exerts on you.
I had this idea that most people who were very good public performers sort of thrived on pressure of that sort - the higher the stakes, the better effort you put forth, and all that.
Comments
- If you have distant relatives you don't really know, but live far and are 99% sure they will not show up, send them an invite! They will feel obligated by old people traditions to send you money just because you invited them!
- For bridesmaids, get black dresses. Don't make them floor length. Your lady friends may actually wind up using these dresses again. (my family business is a wedding dress shop so I know oddly too much about this stuff. Oh and if anyone needs a good deal, let me know)
- Screw big fancy handwritten thank you cards. There are services on the web where you can have a photo postcard with a nice thank you message printed on it, upload your list of addresses, and they will send the photo straight there. Time saver is worth the nominal charge.
- Last one. Don't go on some crazy crash diet trying to change the way you look for this wedding. You look fine, and will look great on your wedding regardless. Odds are if you take drastic measures to change yourself, you are going to bounce right back to where you were, and you will look different in all of your photos. This leads to "wedding shot as my profile pic for 5 years" syndrome, followed by making it a picture of your dog/child.
I never made interesting side dishes or even bothered with presentation when I was cooking a single meal for myself. But living with someone, cooking is an enjoyable task. ^_~
I am not married, but I was a little worried when I first moved in with Rym years ago, because I tend to do very well in circumstances where I am solitary for much of the time and also can arrange my surroundings just so. It totally balances out, though. It's great to share dinner, and have someone to run with. Sometimes I am cranky, but most of the time I am more happy having someone around that I can talk to. I just think of marriage as cohabitation, with a contract that designates the other person as your co-pilot, backup, command partner in the eyes of the law. If anything happens to you, they can deal with it. If your co-pilot starts being unreliable or driving you crazy, you should withdraw that responsibility.
Weddings are so crazy expensive, though. Thankfully we were able to save a lot of costs by doing a few things:
- Since we are paying for it ourselves, we get to decide who gets to attend. Thus, we slimmed the list down from 200 or so people to 75.
- Since it is impossible for us to cook our own food, serve/keep it warm, and serve it to our guests.. we managed to convince the parents-in-law to take care of the food. So they are handling catering.
- The venues are managing to be really, really cheap. We're renting out a significant portion of the local public park, which is really awesome (also there is the chance that our wedding photos will include massive container ships).
- One of our friends' dad is dean of the local law school and is an atheist, so he'll be officiating for free (and will likely do an awesome job!).
We're also managing to do a wedding dress that is going to be able to double as an evening gown, and I need a new suit anyway so I'll just get a nice one for the wedding. Also it helps that we have a graphic designer friend doing the invitations for cost.1) Date for at least a year before even discussing moving in together.
2) Live together for at least a year before seriously considering marriage.
3) Hope for a long and rocky engagement to insure that both of you are capable of dealing with the ups and downs of a long term relationship.
4) Until you sign the marriage license you can still walk away a single person.
Thank you cards? I wasn't gonna spend cash on it. I'll just call/FB/Tweet/whatever.
Any long term relationship provides conditions under which you can not so easily walk away. What if you have pets? There are still lots of ownership questions and responsibilities to be settled, that dwarf the legal proceedings. Breakups are hard to just walk away from, as long as there is a certain amount of shared property.
I had this idea that most people who were very good public performers sort of thrived on pressure of that sort - the higher the stakes, the better effort you put forth, and all that.
Do you hate pressure when you're juggling too?