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A podcast episode about the nature of frienship.
This week on FNPL, we do something a little different. We only have one topic and it's really a discussion on the nature of friendship. It's also Kyle, Thaed and David arguing with Rym and Scott about the best laid plans. It's youthful optimism versus jaded pessimism at its best.
Comments
Awesome episode. Gah, and still don't know what to say, even less then before. I'll side with the youthful optimism though. It takes every member of a relation to keep said relation working. And if you have similar interests, trust each other completely and have respect for each other and his/her views, then said relation will be maintainable. The Front Row Crew is the only group of people that I've heard of that actually might be able to live together forever.
I say I'm sorta on the Rym and Scott side because when someone said people grow apart or the group isn't as important anymore. With the impending birth of my niece and my to go to an out of state college, I fear it might happen. I don't want it too happen ever and I love and trust everyone a lot. With the Internet and phones we're always be connected. I just don't know what will happen until it happens.
Hearing Rym and Scott's optimism made me believe if anyone can do it it's you Front Row Crew guys. I never had that type of feeling about people I never physically met before. I'm rooting for ya here in DC. ^_^
If you don't...DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE! NY isn't that far from DC ya know! Plus you guys gotta come down here sometime! LOL.
Man, this episode triggered more thought in me than previous ones. I really wish I was in that conversation. >.<
Every member of this group has the keys to everyone's respective houses. It seems like a strange bonding ritual. The members of this group trust each other completely. In a time when the internet was completely non-existent, this group continued to strive, and they are just as close as ever...if not closer.
Honestly, if Kyle and Thaed's group of friends failed the way they did, they probably weren't as close as they thought they were.
Whether or not they'll be successful depends on their industry, I suspect. I had friends who felt that way during the first Internet boom. When the bubble burst hard times ensued, that weakened many friendships.
Also, Rym & Scott seem to be the alphas of the Crew. They lead and everyone follows. In such a situation, it can really be hard to swallow the idea that one day perhaps, they'll lead, and some of the Crew will balk. After all, why would they? Everything had been fine before, right? Well... maybe.
The need to belong is a powerful one for geeks, despite what some may say. For freedom from the isolation that made up their past life, many geeks will throw themselves headlong into any organization that gives them the community they'd hoped for. In past times, this had been in corporate groups. Why do you think programmers of old worked 80 hour work weeks? Why did people follow Steve Jobs like they did? Part of it was a love of the work, to be sure, but the rest was a desperate need not to let the person down who had taken a chance on them.
Eventually, though, things started to fall apart. The glorious leader turned out to be a pushy jerk, and the care for them and their welfare turned out to be only care for himself and his vision. It hadn't been obvious before because nothing had come along to test it yet. I'm not saying that this describes Scrym and their Crew, but it's a good example of how a sure thing can come apart when certain things aren't recognized.
I have to say as a member of the FRC this eps was hilarious!
I think the only thing that'd foil all that would be if they... changed as people. Dramatically. I suppose the old fogeys have actually had that happen to them, hence the pessimism. I'm not going to deny that possibility but at the same time I can't really see it happening to me. GOGO OPTIMISM, YEAH! That almost made me literally LOL.
Oh, they might think that acting geeky is "cute" now and they might affect a high tolerance for geeky friends at present, but I predict that when they start hitting the late 20s/early 30s they're going to start applying pressure to put away the toys/computers/gadgets/anime of youth to make room for the china cabinets/dining room suites/jewelery/minivans of adulthood/middle age.
If you're living the "Front Row Crew" life when you're 25, you have no worries.
If you're still living the "Front Row Crew" life when you're 35, you have no sex drive.
Then I realized it was referring to a podcast that I was in!
Doh!
You sound a lot like Rym's old co-workers at IBM. Former geeks who all hated their wives because they didn't let them do geeky stuff. One guy was literally hiding anime from his wife because she would throw it out. Nobody to blame but himself. He chose to marry her. Sour grapes get no respect.
Woman also change after the first kid is born. It could just be hormones but they go from loving wife to loving mom. Yes, there are some things a mom will no longer (or at least not nearly as often) do for her husband that she used to do all the time. When you hear her say, "I kiss my child with these lips," with a look of utter horror on her face you will understand what I say is true.
Many things said while dating suddenly vanish once the ring is on, more so in states where divorces always go in the woman's favor.
It's not sour grapes at all. It's a prediction. As far as throwing stuff out goes, that covers everything, not just anime. When you get married (or maybe even when you move in together), your wife WILL throw out a lot of your stuff. She will continue to throw out stuff you acquire in the future. It doesn't matter if it's anime or NFL videos. They're destined for the dumpster.
Get used to the idea now and it won't be such a shock later. It's hardwired. Like it or not, after the kid arrives, you're of secondary importance. It's survival.
Plus it isn't sexist to point it out because its too true.
(I sound like a guy. O_O) If that's the case why don't the guys do it too?
I agree that there are some people, of all genders, who do pull these kinds of 180s, especially after being married with children. What I object to is that you think any of us would actually be with that kind of person. I also resent people who don't stand up for themselves. If you have a spouse who is at the point of throwing out your belongings without your permission, then you no longer have an equal partnership.
I've been to a lot of geeky conventions in my day. I've met plenty of old and happily married couples who are both still total geeks. In fact, many other geek podcasters have wives who read comics, play RPGs, dig video games, etc. I know for a fact that your "prediction" is not some law of the universe. I think your prediction is just a way for you to make yourself feel better. It's easier for you to go on with a non-geek wife if you believe that a geek wife is not possible.
2. We're fearful of the repercussions.
3. We're ascared to even touch some of the more girly stuff for fear it may break.
4. She throws her own stuff away before we can get to it, thereby creating the need to go out and get more and newer stuff. Take that, Scott. Women are more attuned to "growing" and the whole "circle of life" thing. Men are generally (notice I said generally) more stable in their tastes.
A small part of two people respecting each other is respecting each other's property. It's not so much the actual loss of property that is a problem here. The physical goods are easily replaced. The problem is that if someone is throwing away your things without your permission, that is a clear sign that they do not respect you, or the things you care about. That is definitely not the kind of relationship I want to have with somebody. It's definitely not the kind of relationship I would want to have with anybody who I'm going to share the majority of my life with. I also have a hard time understanding how any self-respecting human being could willingly enter, or stay in, such a relationship, if not under duress.
1. You're both lying, and/or
2. You were both raised by hippies, or
3. Times have changed even more than I thought.