That one was pun in a million. But I'd give it a rest, because your'e starting to sound like one of those talking-head pun-dits. If you're not careful, they'll come after you for pun-itave damages.
You mean I will get PUN'D? Okay, I guess I'll go watch PUNi PUNi PUNemy. :P
A friend of mine was telling me about this bear attack his cousin was in, and let me tell you, the details were pretty grizzly. It was almost unbearable to hear the whole thing.
That's nothing. The new girl at work got her graduate degree doing research at Penn State. She specialized in Dairy Cattle Nutrition, specifically working with cows. Well, her PI had to put down her entire small herd (about 10 animals) of research cows because they acquired a rampant, drug resistant, mastitis infection. It was an udder disaster.
Having read about the various restaurants with pun-ny names, I feel the need throw in one of my own. While I haven't seen any places with this name yet, I always felt it would be a neat idea if someone opened a 1950's-themed 24-hour Chinese eatery. They could call it "Wok Around The Clock".
That one was pun in a million. But I'd give it a rest, because your'e starting to sound like one of those talking-head pun-dits. If you're not careful, they'll come after you for pun-itave damages.
You mean I will get PUN'D? Okay, I guess I'll go watch PUNi PUNi PUNemy. :P
PUNished. Possibly by PUNching
Doubleteamed? That's sort of punfair, don't you think? I'll give both of you a-pun-dectamies and then pun for my life!
Everybody says I inherited my dad's skills in my department
So a couple weeks ago my dad was, well, dying (cancer's a bitch). We brought him home for hospice care. In that final day, a rabbi dropped in. So the rabbi asked what my dad's Jewish name was (I'm not Jewish, he once joked he was Jewish on his parents' side). Apparently it was Yakov. "He never stopped yakking," I said, making everybody just break down in laughter despite the somber mood and this heavy cloud of tension all around us.
So then the rabbi said, "At least you didn't say the other one."
And I regret it. Because he probably never stopped yakking off either.
To mention another restaurant pun, there's a place in Dupont that is called Thaiphoon.
The image I get is of a maelstrom of peanut sauce.
So Thor was walking down the streets, in an Alabama town to relax for a while. However, the hotel he reserved had a major rat problem. Thor talked to the manager about it several times, but he did nothing, and Thor got angrier and angrier over the next few days. Thor issued an ultimatum: get rid of the rats or there will be consequences. The manager still did nothing. So Thor killed everyone in the hotel lobby and went on his merry way.
The moral is this: Never book a miffed Norse in the South.
Back in the days of the Soviet Union, there was a group of mathematicians in Poland who wanted to escape from communist rule and live in the west. They came up with a plan to steal a small plane and fly to freedom.
On the day they carried out the plan, things started well. They got to the airport fine, they sneaked past the guards, and it was all going good. Until they got on the plane. They'd got lost in the airport, and instead of boarding a nice small plane just big enough for the group, they got on board a giant 747.
Knowing it was make or break at this point, the pilot of the group said he'd try and fly the 747. He sat down in the cockpit and looked at all the buttons and levers in front of him. The rest of the mathematicians went to guard the door.
Ten minutes went by and the plane still hadn't moved. Then the group noticed security guards running in the terminal towards their plane. They yelled to their pilot friend "What's taking so long. The guards are almost here. They're going to catch us!"
The frustrated pilot yelled back at his compatriots "Give me some time. I'm just a simple Pole in a complex plane."
The most awesome repeat punner is Quentin Cooper, the presenter of Material World, a science program on BBC radio 4. There's a podcast of the show, so if you want to groan, listen to a few of his show and topic introductions. They take bad punning to the highest level, to a really dorky science pun level at that. Also, he finds his own jokes funny, and always snorts in a disturbing way when once he finishes a question for is guest.
German map of Hairdressers with bad puns in the store-name:
Translation: Haareszeiten: Pun on "Jahreszeiten" (seasons of the year) and "Haar" (hair). Think "Hair Seasons" instead of "Four Seasons" Haarmonie: "Hairmony" Haargenau: German idiom meaning "exact to the width of a hair". Think of the pun as "By a hair('s breadth)"
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Man, hanging with him is so PUNderful. :P
He knows Jew-dough!(judo)
Marooned!
So a couple weeks ago my dad was, well, dying (cancer's a bitch). We brought him home for hospice care. In that final day, a rabbi dropped in. So the rabbi asked what my dad's Jewish name was (I'm not Jewish, he once joked he was Jewish on his parents' side). Apparently it was Yakov. "He never stopped yakking," I said, making everybody just break down in laughter despite the somber mood and this heavy cloud of tension all around us.
So then the rabbi said, "At least you didn't say the other one."
And I regret it. Because he probably never stopped yakking off either.
I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.
Curses, FOILed again!
So Thor was walking down the streets, in an Alabama town to relax for a while. However, the hotel he reserved had a major rat problem. Thor talked to the manager about it several times, but he did nothing, and Thor got angrier and angrier over the next few days. Thor issued an ultimatum: get rid of the rats or there will be consequences. The manager still did nothing. So Thor killed everyone in the hotel lobby and went on his merry way.
The moral is this: Never book a miffed Norse in the South.
Terrible, I know.
On the day they carried out the plan, things started well. They got to the airport fine, they sneaked past the guards, and it was all going good. Until they got on the plane. They'd got lost in the airport, and instead of boarding a nice small plane just big enough for the group, they got on board a giant 747.
Knowing it was make or break at this point, the pilot of the group said he'd try and fly the 747. He sat down in the cockpit and looked at all the buttons and levers in front of him. The rest of the mathematicians went to guard the door.
Ten minutes went by and the plane still hadn't moved. Then the group noticed security guards running in the terminal towards their plane. They yelled to their pilot friend "What's taking so long. The guards are almost here. They're going to catch us!"
The frustrated pilot yelled back at his compatriots "Give me some time. I'm just a simple Pole in a complex plane."
Translation:
Haareszeiten: Pun on "Jahreszeiten" (seasons of the year) and "Haar" (hair). Think "Hair Seasons" instead of "Four Seasons"
Haarmonie: "Hairmony"
Haargenau: German idiom meaning "exact to the width of a hair". Think of the pun as "By a hair('s breadth)"
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.
(Highlight for pun-ishment)
this