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The Great Penis Flamewar (Funny stories about getting laid?)

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  • Arthur C. Clark predicted in his book3001that circumcision will go the way of the dinosaur.
    I suspect that medicine will improve to the point that circumcision's benefits will be purely aesthetic/cultural. At that point, it will go the way of the dinosaur.
    We in Europe are already at that point. I have also been with women all over the world and from all over the world and I similarly have had no complaints. I can't believe people in America actually think the solution to keeping something clean isn't teaching a boy how to wash himself but to chop off a body part. Just repeat that to yourself a few times. The solution to hygiene is preemptive surgery. WTF? Take a shower!

    A point in favour of foreskins: masturbation is far easier. Who needs lubrication when you have a handy foreskin to let your hand slide repeatedly over the head.
  • edited August 2008
    . . . And while I've been with both men and women, All around the world, I've never had any complaints.
    I have also been with women all over the world and from all over the world and I similarly have had no complaints.
    Boast much?
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • . . . And while I've been with both men and women, All around the world, I've never had any complaints.
    I have also been with women all over the world and from all over the world and I similarly have had no complaints.
    Boast much?
    To quote myself:
    The whole circumcised or not looking nicer or not is purely cultural, of course.

    ...


    I just typed a whole lot of stuff about my personal experiences, but reading back it seemed a bit weird so I deleted it.
    But if you want a list of nationalities and ethnic groupings of all the ladies who have had hands on experience with my foreskin I could provide one.
  • edited August 2008
    . . . And while I've been with both men and women, All around the world, I've never had any complaints.
    I have also been with women all over the world and from all over the world and I similarly have had no complaints.
    Boast much?
    To quote myself:
    The whole circumcised or not looking nicer or not is purely cultural, of course.

    ...


    I just typed a whole lot of stuff about my personal experiences, but reading back it seemed a bit weird so I deleted it.
    But if you want a list of nationalities and ethnic groupings of all the ladies who have had hands on experience with my foreskin I could provide one.
    Go, Go! This started as a thread about sex stories, so let's pull it back around to its true purpose.
    . . . And while I've been with both men and women, All around the world, I've never had any complaints.
    I have also been with women all over the world and from all over the world and I similarly have had no complaints.
    Boast much?
    Evidently, yes.
    Post edited by Churba on

  • Women state a preference for circumcised penises particularly for sexual activities like fellatio...

    They say that this is primarily due to circumcised penises being cleaner and looking sexier.
    My personal opinion: Yes, but for reasons other than visual. Fellatio is a lot easier/better feeling for the giver if you don't have a floppy foreskin to deal with. It gets in the way of establishing suction, for one thing. For another, I think it just feels gross to be sucking on limp skin. And have you ever sucked on a freeze-pop wrapper when there's nothing but liquid left? You get something similar happening with the foreskin. Kind of yicky, if that's not your thing. And yes, I've had experience with both types of penises.

  • Women state a preference for circumcised penises particularly for sexual activities like fellatio...

    They say that this is primarily due to circumcised penises being cleaner and looking sexier.
    My personal opinion: Yes, but for reasons other than visual. Fellatio is a lot easier/better feeling for the giver if you don't have a floppy foreskin to deal with. It gets in the way of establishing suction, for one thing. For another, I think it just feels gross to be sucking on limp skin. And have you ever sucked on a freeze-pop wrapper when there's nothing but liquid left? You get something similar happening with the foreskin. Kind of yicky, if that's not your thing. And yes, I've had experience with both types of penises.
    OMG! Someone else who gets it! *high five*
  • I stumbled upon this discussion on Opposing Views:

    Should Boys be Circumcised?
  • My personal opinion: Yes, but for reasons other than visual. Fellatio is a lot easier/better feeling for the giver if you don't have a floppy foreskin to deal with. It gets in the way of establishing suction, for one thing. For another, I think it just feels gross to be sucking on limp skin. And have you ever sucked on a freeze-pop wrapper when there's nothing but liquid left? You get something similar happening with the foreskin. Kind of yicky, if that's not your thing. And yes, I've had experience with both types of penises.
    *facepalm* So what you are basically saying that you are not holding back the foreskin. AWESOME!
  • Should Boys be Circumcised?
    That is a VERY different discussion from "Should men make the choice of circumcision".
  • *facepalm* So what you are basically saying that you are not holding back the foreskin.AWESOME!
    Sometime yes, sometimes no. YOU try to hold back a foreskin and deepthroat a penis at the same time. Let me know how that works out for ya. You can only go down so far before your hand gets in the way.
  • *facepalm* So what you are basically saying that you are not holding back the foreskin.AWESOME!
    This just sounds like an extra problem that the female has to face, which (I assume) would be quite a bother.

  • Sometime yes, sometimes no. YOU try to hold back a foreskin and deepthroat a penis at the same time.
    If there was ever a forum post that made my day, this would be it.
  • *facepalm* So what you are basically saying that you are not holding back the foreskin.AWESOME!
    Sometime yes, sometimes no. YOU try to hold back a foreskin and deepthroat a penis at the same time. Let me know how that works out for ya. You can only go down so far before your hand gets in the way.
    That was one of the greatness sentences in the forum. XD

    There was no such thing as deepthroating that foreskin guy of mine. You can't deep throat an inch.
  • Glad I could make someone's day. I should put that on a t-shirt. XD
  • Dean Venture: Hank! I had my pubes shaved. I'm gonna put them under the pillow for the tooth fairy!
    Hank Venture: Did the doctor see that creepy dog dork of yours?
    Dr. Venture: Hank, don't brag to your brother about your circumcision.
    Conversation over. Circumcised > uncircumcised... the TV told me so.
  • And while I've been with both men and women, All around the world, I've never had any complaints.
    Ever wonder why you have to find so many partners? Ever ask yourself why the don't come back for more? ;-)
  • ......
    edited August 2008
    You can only go down so far before your hand gets in the way.
    True, however, you are already using your mouth as a tool to stimulate the male. I doubt you will be that far down for long, so your jaw won't break if you use a bit of the muscles in your face. Seriously, be creative, it's not like you have anything else worthwhile on your mind, right?

    As to answer your suggestion, besides not swinging that way, and never wanting to suck anyone's dick ever, I probably would manage, having long and slender fingers that have often been called 'piano fingers'.
    Ever wonder why you have to find so many partners? Ever ask yourself why the don't come back for more? ;-)
    That's a sad low blow kilarney.
    Post edited by ... on
  • Since I opened the can of worms, I might as well start.

    For many weeks my partner and I had the weird coincidence that we got both phone calls when things were getting fun, it happened every time, and it was either back to back or at the same time. Now we turn off our cellphones.

    Well, it's not really funny, but slightly amusing. XD
    I definitely had my mom call while my ex and I were in the middle of some fun. Of course, my mom is the type who doesn't accept someone not picking up the phone; she proceeded to call 4 more times over the course of 30 minutes trying to get a hold of me.

    Yeah, I'm a big fan of turning off the phone.
  • And while I've been with both men and women, All around the world, I've never had any complaints.
    Ever wonder why you have to find so many partners? Ever ask yourself why the don't come back for more? ;-)
    Oh, how you wound me!
  • I remember one.

    My other ex and I was having fun and a telemarketer called. I seen it on the caller ID but picked it up away.

    "Hi, telemarketer. I'm having sex now. Too bad you're at work." *click*

    We laughed at that all while he was pounding me.
  • I seen it
    Please; I am begging you. The past tense of see is saw. I saw you. Thank you.

    Also, "while he was pounding me" is... um... classy.
  • I seen it
    Please; I am begging you. The past tense of see is saw. I saw you. Thank you.

    Also, "while he was pounding me" is... um... classy.
    Okay then. How would you describe getting fucked from behind in a classy way?
  • Okay then. How would you describe getting fucked from behind in a classy way?
    Having sexual intercourse in a non-missionary position?
  • edited August 2008
    How would you describe getting fucked from behind . . .?
    Jason would describe that as "a normal day".
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • Okay then. How would you describe getting fucked from behind in a classy way?
    Having sexual intercourse in a non-missionary position?
    Nah, not precise enough. "We laughed at that all while he took me from behind." ?
    I'm trying to imagine a way that it could be discussed at a fancy dinner party, and failing.
  • There was no such thing as deepthroating that foreskin guy of mine. You can't deep throat an inch.
    Maybe the problem wasn't the foreskin then?
  • There was no such thing as deepthroating that foreskin guy of mine. You can't deep throat an inch.
    Maybe the problem wasn't the foreskin then?
    Yes. That was what I was getting at. -_-;
  • Normally I try to keep those stories between my partner and I, however I don't mind telling this one.

    For birth control, I'm using the NuvaRing. It's basically a plastic ring that is inserted up the va-jay-jay and left in there for 21 days. It's the best birth control I've used to date. You can keep it in during intercourse and it really doesn't get in the way, however I tend to take it out before having sex.

    Anyways, during one session I decided to keep the NuvaRing in. After various positions, we had no problems. Then after being on top for a while, I get off my partner, and then I noticed that the ring was out and it ended up on the bottom of his shaft. I start laughing and he asks what's so funny. I point it out and he says, "Well that's one way to play ring toss." More laughter ensued and then more lovin'.
  • When I heard of that I thought that would happen. Now I know I was right. ^_^
  • When I heard of that I thought that would happen. Now I know I was right. ^_^
    Well yeah, that's when you keep it in, which is why from now on, I take it out before the lovin' starts. It can stay out for at max of 3 hours.
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