It's because you masturbate with the dreaded "death grip" technique. No mouth can compare to that. You're seriously gonna mess up your dick doing that.
And you sir, are known to prefer the Backwards double thumb tip twister, which is only mastered by the most notorious wankers.
This whole topic sucks, including every previous statement by myself. This entire topic should be printed out on pieces of paper and then burned it's so bad. You're all stupid for wasting your lives pressing Ctrl+V to put your old generic response back in. Morons.
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If you have a way to stop Nine from talking, I'm all ears.
Also, @TPAM:
Nine was right, you do fail.
Your balls get hurt by sitting down.