My mom is irrational and often rages over nothing. She is also very racist and very homophobic. My dad is homophobic also, but to the degree of "I don't understand why someone would be gay, but I don't hate them. I just don't want them to get 'married'."
My uncle just found out I'm an atheist and, after going through the regular barrage of questions an atheist gets from a theist, brought up gay marraige. I told him that I think gays are people too and they are entitled to every right heterosexuals enjoy, including marriage. His reaction was as such.
"I hate gays. If a gay moved next door to me, I would try to chase him away. If that didn't work, I'd move. Are you gay?" "No." "Good. I'm going to tell you this right now. If you or your sister ever become gay, I will come over and break your legs."
I didn't feel like asking what he felt breaking my legs would accomplish at the time.
"I hate gays. If a gay moved next door to me, I would try to chase him away. If that didn't work, I'd move. Are you gay?" "No." "Good. I'm going to tell you this right now. If you or your sister ever become gay, I will come over and break your legs."
You should have said you were gay. That guy should be in jail already. I mean who starts with "I'm going to chase out this particular group and I would beat them up" and then asks you if you are in that group..... How did he figure out you were gay? I would not even talk to someone like that.
"Good. I'm going to tell you this right now. If you or your sister ever become gay, I will come over and break your legs."
If someone said that to me, I would likely deck them not only for the bigoted sentiment and the threat of hate crime and because they threatened me, but mostly for the fact that they just threatened someone I love.
If someone said that to me, I would likely deck them not only for the bigoted sentiment and the threat of hate crime and because they threatened me, but mostly for the fact that they just threatened someone I love.
If someone said that to me, I would likely deck them not only for the bigoted sentiment and the threat of hate crime and because they threatened me, but mostly for the fact that they just threatened someone I love.
What, no pee?
Honestly, no. That kind of statement would result in immediate violence and/or a plot to ruin that person's life in any way possible. I am not kidding. People should not threaten or harm people I love. Ever.
If someone said that to me, I would likely deck them not only for the bigoted sentiment and the threat of hate crime and because they threatened me, but mostly for the fact that they just threatened someone I love.
What, no pee?
Honestly, no. That kind of statement would result in immediate violence and/or a plot to ruin that person's life in any way possible. I am not kidding. People should not threaten or harm people I love. Ever.
If this were someone outside the family, I would have told him off right then and there. But My parents were there, and I "have to be respectful to my elders", no matter how bigoted they sound. This sort of mentality (homophobic, racist) is, unfortunately, the norm in armenian male culture. This is a very large reason why I hesitate to tell people I'm Armenian; I don't want to be associated with that sort of mindset and behavior. Once I have monies I'll move away from LA and into a more sane town, like Long Beach, Petaluma, or Seattle. I've heard good things about Seattle...
Honestly, no. That kind of statement would result in immediate violence and/or a plot to ruin that person's life in any way possible. I am not kidding. People should not threaten or harm people I love. Ever.
So, if they cause harm to themselves, you employ immediate violence combined with support?
My family is riddled with badness. The two people I'm closest too, my mom and brother are great people. My mom gets worried to a fault and is bad with technology, but I love her very dearly. She's very strong and independent. My brother I think has problems with loneliness, but doesn't want to admit them.
A lot of problems though come from my mom's side of the family. Which is odd because I look up to them much more because they are a much more diverse group of people...mostly Jewish and having really nice jobs like being judges or owners of companies. My mom herself owns her own stockbroking/investment company. (Which is only run by my mom and my brother, but that still counts. I work for it too though, just to pay bills and handle Quick Books) The main issue is with her brother who is a major league pot head. He's a lawyer, but he CONSTANTLY loses jobs because of all the smoking he does. I have never seen him do anything big and he's incredibly lazy. He even has a daughter who he cares little about and his son (college age) and him have a strained relationship. He bought dogs on impulse and is trying to sell them to us.
My grandmother died last year and for five years my grandfather has needed full medical support from nurses because of a stroke. My grandmother was incredibly passive aggressive to all of us because she was very sour, never worked, always ate out, was incredibly cheap and would always belittle us. I really only remember her because she gave us tons of money for report cards, holidays and birthdays. She really had problems against my uncle because he married a black woman and was very cruel to his wife and daughter. During the funeral the minister was talking about how she was a treasured part of the community (An episcopalian English Teacher, also taught on Sunday School) and me and my brother were just glancing at each other like: "Those are lies." She was racist and very mean but, we never saw that part of her.
My grandfather is a stroke victim AND has diabetes. Has trouble talking, needs to a wheelchair, and needs full time nurse care. I feel really bad for my mom because when she doesn't work, she helps her dad and manages the nurses. And it really hurts because while he needs to be in a nursing home, she doesn't have the courage to send him to one. We've had problems with the nurses too. But, it's a real big pain because my grandfather needs 24/7 care and she just wants to spend money and her own time by doing all this herself.
On the subject about lies, My Dad for a long time was an English teacher/Football Coach, then Principal, but then around 2000 he retired for unexplained reasons. People would say how he was funny and a great public speaker.(Perhaps to fuel my mom's own business? No idea) But after then he became sour and moody. He had a stroke a year after my grandfather, but that made things worse because now he's blind in one eye. The day he even had his stroke was really creepy. He can now only drive places in town and his farm. But me and my dad always had a strained relationship because he would always look at me as a baby and not try cause conflict around me. Or even times when I heard him and mom talking, I would walk upstairs and ask what was all the fighting was about, and he would just be like. "Nothing."
My dad never really bonded with my brother and I because we were so not the typical kids. We were overweight, we didn't like to work, we enjoyed indoor activities, we didn't like sports, we didn't like school and we loved technology. I'm pretty sure he thinks we are gay too because we didn't engage in many relationships or talk about women with him. Even though I'm sure that he misses me, since I've been living away from the nest for about 6 months (And he really acts nice and sweet when I visit), it fills me with a ton of guilt when come over. I don't know, he's so odd in the way that he shows emotion that I don't know how to respond to him at times.
He did live in a harsh household. No violence, but the kind where he worked since he was 14 and the only person who enjoys talking is his mom. It's like...angry means happy to them. He believes that work = happiness. But what hurts me about him is that he totally disrespects my mom. I think he abhors the idea that she's the breadwinner now because they argue so much over stupid things. He overreacts, he gets mad and it's like, you have to let him cool off. You can't prove him wrong because he'll either shut down or get even madder. He always calls her "dingbat" and always gets mad when she's late. Despite the fact that he can't cook anymore, he also always make my mom eat the blandest food ever. (No flavor at all. His taste buds disappeared or something) The fact that the argue so much really just annoys me and it makes me wonder why she hasn't divorced him yet. He's like the exact opposite of a manchild. Like, a shell of a man who as useful as a child.
My brother said that he was much, much better before his stroke. But it doesn't feel like much had changed.
Since I first read this thread I had to really think about my family. What happened today was fitting for this thread.
I visited my family today and a conversation about a obviously homeopathic lotion med that sound suspicious and isn't even FDA approved. I'm trying to show them the signs and explain things about pseudoscience and homeopathy lies and critical thinking towards consumerism and science based medicine. Of course it was al for nothing and what's REALLY sad is that these are people who work in medical fields.
My retired nurse aunt is irrational and believes in nonsense like 2012.
My uncle is a upper middle class asshole that tricked his own mother for more inhertience and the house for him and left next to nothing. He's also very anti gay and a womanizer. His wife is a weakling that should of left him. She is the epitome of weak housewife.
My cousins are stuck on stupid and despite living a rich charmed life became ghetto trash and knocked up or got knocked up. They hang out with trashy folk and I worry for the raising of those kids.
My other aunt is a shrew that is tactless passive aggressive and it rubbed on her daughter and I bet her granddaughters. She has a preference for light skinned blacks despite being a darkie like me. She also believes in strict needless gender roles and hates gays. Did I mention she doesn't like darkies? Did I mention I was a darkie?
My other aunt is a thief and a hypocritical christian who not only stole money from my sister but is a bitch to everyone. She thinks black pride is what BET shows. I believe the opposite. Her husband tried to rape my sister. I don't need to say anymore about him.
My last uncle is okay. Used to dip in the drugs, but he threatens my boyfriend a bit too much. He does it out of love though.
My stepfather liked me in a way you should NEVER like a stepdaughter.
My mother. I try to think of her fondly in her death, but there's times I lay down and remember the childhood. My dad was a drug dealer/do-er who ran out. My mom was a model turned postal worker turned prostitute and constantly a drunken mess and party girl. Obviously I had to be taken soon until I could fend for myself as a teenager. She stayed the same till I became an adult and tried to be a mom too late. There was always strain, but it lessened after I moved.
My grandfather was cold to everyone, but singled out me most from the grandchildren. I heard he was angry with my conception. He never let me forget that I shouldn't of been. Grandma just hated gays, but she was decent for the most part.
Sigh. i can't believe I got my thoughts and anger of my family out on a fucking forum of geeks. I don't know how I feel.
Sigh. i can't believe I got my thoughts and anger of my family out on a fucking forum of geeks. I don't know how I feel.
I think the fact that you feel comfortable enough around this forum of geeks to talk about things that many people could only talk about in therapy says a lot.
Sigh. i can't believe I got my thoughts and anger of my family out on a fucking forum of geeks. I don't know how I feel.
I think the fact that you feel comfortable enough around this forum of geeks to talk about things that many people could only talk about in therapy says a lot.
Yeah, maybe. That why I kept it so short in the last post.
Sigh. i can't believe I got my thoughts and anger of my family out on a fucking forum of geeks. I don't know how I feel.
I think the fact that you feel comfortable enough around this forum of geeks to talk about things that many people could only talk about in therapy says a lot.
Yeah, maybe. That why I kept it so short in the last post.
It's okay. This forum of geeks will listen to anything you want. ^_^
Is it insensitive to say that I'm feeling pretty great about my family right now? My mom and I have trouble relating, my uncle is divorced and a recovering alcoholic (but an awesome dude beyond that), and my granddad might be a bit racist, but it's hard to tell. That's the worst that comes to mind right now.
@Viga: I'm really sorry that your family life is like that... that's just terrible. All of it. o_o I'm always impressed when I see a lovely personality like yours persevere through an upbringing like that, though.
@Viga: I'm really sorry that your family life is like that... that's just terrible. All of it. o_o I'm always impressed when I see a lovely personality like yours persevere through an upbringing like that, though.
Thanks. The good thing is it's a large family so if you lose a place to live there's always room at someone's place (for better or worse). Plus with the one aunt that is just irrational is the decent one that holds the family together. A decent caring matriarch is a good description. I know once she dies it will be mayhem. Really her and her children and grandchildren are ones I am closer too.
Comments
My uncle just found out I'm an atheist and, after going through the regular barrage of questions an atheist gets from a theist, brought up gay marraige. I told him that I think gays are people too and they are entitled to every right heterosexuals enjoy, including marriage. His reaction was as such.
"I hate gays. If a gay moved next door to me, I would try to chase him away. If that didn't work, I'd move. Are you gay?"
"No."
"Good. I'm going to tell you this right now. If you or your sister ever become gay, I will come over and break your legs."
I didn't feel like asking what he felt breaking my legs would accomplish at the time.
Seriously, though, don't do that.
*whimper*
A lot of problems though come from my mom's side of the family. Which is odd because I look up to them much more because they are a much more diverse group of people...mostly Jewish and having really nice jobs like being judges or owners of companies. My mom herself owns her own stockbroking/investment company. (Which is only run by my mom and my brother, but that still counts. I work for it too though, just to pay bills and handle Quick Books) The main issue is with her brother who is a major league pot head. He's a lawyer, but he CONSTANTLY loses jobs because of all the smoking he does. I have never seen him do anything big and he's incredibly lazy. He even has a daughter who he cares little about and his son (college age) and him have a strained relationship. He bought dogs on impulse and is trying to sell them to us.
My grandmother died last year and for five years my grandfather has needed full medical support from nurses because of a stroke. My grandmother was incredibly passive aggressive to all of us because she was very sour, never worked, always ate out, was incredibly cheap and would always belittle us. I really only remember her because she gave us tons of money for report cards, holidays and birthdays. She really had problems against my uncle because he married a black woman and was very cruel to his wife and daughter. During the funeral the minister was talking about how she was a treasured part of the community (An episcopalian English Teacher, also taught on Sunday School) and me and my brother were just glancing at each other like: "Those are lies." She was racist and very mean but, we never saw that part of her.
My grandfather is a stroke victim AND has diabetes. Has trouble talking, needs to a wheelchair, and needs full time nurse care. I feel really bad for my mom because when she doesn't work, she helps her dad and manages the nurses. And it really hurts because while he needs to be in a nursing home, she doesn't have the courage to send him to one. We've had problems with the nurses too. But, it's a real big pain because my grandfather needs 24/7 care and she just wants to spend money and her own time by doing all this herself.
On the subject about lies, My Dad for a long time was an English teacher/Football Coach, then Principal, but then around 2000 he retired for unexplained reasons. People would say how he was funny and a great public speaker.(Perhaps to fuel my mom's own business? No idea) But after then he became sour and moody. He had a stroke a year after my grandfather, but that made things worse because now he's blind in one eye. The day he even had his stroke was really creepy. He can now only drive places in town and his farm. But me and my dad always had a strained relationship because he would always look at me as a baby and not try cause conflict around me. Or even times when I heard him and mom talking, I would walk upstairs and ask what was all the fighting was about, and he would just be like. "Nothing."
My dad never really bonded with my brother and I because we were so not the typical kids. We were overweight, we didn't like to work, we enjoyed indoor activities, we didn't like sports, we didn't like school and we loved technology. I'm pretty sure he thinks we are gay too because we didn't engage in many relationships or talk about women with him. Even though I'm sure that he misses me, since I've been living away from the nest for about 6 months (And he really acts nice and sweet when I visit), it fills me with a ton of guilt when come over. I don't know, he's so odd in the way that he shows emotion that I don't know how to respond to him at times.
He did live in a harsh household. No violence, but the kind where he worked since he was 14 and the only person who enjoys talking is his mom. It's like...angry means happy to them. He believes that work = happiness. But what hurts me about him is that he totally disrespects my mom. I think he abhors the idea that she's the breadwinner now because they argue so much over stupid things. He overreacts, he gets mad and it's like, you have to let him cool off. You can't prove him wrong because he'll either shut down or get even madder. He always calls her "dingbat" and always gets mad when she's late. Despite the fact that he can't cook anymore, he also always make my mom eat the blandest food ever. (No flavor at all. His taste buds disappeared or something) The fact that the argue so much really just annoys me and it makes me wonder why she hasn't divorced him yet. He's like the exact opposite of a manchild. Like, a shell of a man who as useful as a child.
My brother said that he was much, much better before his stroke. But it doesn't feel like much had changed.
I visited my family today and a conversation about a obviously homeopathic lotion med that sound suspicious and isn't even FDA approved. I'm trying to show them the signs and explain things about pseudoscience and homeopathy lies and critical thinking towards consumerism and science based medicine. Of course it was al for nothing and what's REALLY sad is that these are people who work in medical fields.
My retired nurse aunt is irrational and believes in nonsense like 2012.
My uncle is a upper middle class asshole that tricked his own mother for more inhertience and the house for him and left next to nothing. He's also very anti gay and a womanizer. His wife is a weakling that should of left him. She is the epitome of weak housewife.
My cousins are stuck on stupid and despite living a rich charmed life became ghetto trash and knocked up or got knocked up. They hang out with trashy folk and I worry for the raising of those kids.
My other aunt is a shrew that is tactless passive aggressive and it rubbed on her daughter and I bet her granddaughters. She has a preference for light skinned blacks despite being a darkie like me. She also believes in strict needless gender roles and hates gays. Did I mention she doesn't like darkies? Did I mention I was a darkie?
My other aunt is a thief and a hypocritical christian who not only stole money from my sister but is a bitch to everyone. She thinks black pride is what BET shows. I believe the opposite. Her husband tried to rape my sister. I don't need to say anymore about him.
My last uncle is okay. Used to dip in the drugs, but he threatens my boyfriend a bit too much. He does it out of love though.
My stepfather liked me in a way you should NEVER like a stepdaughter.
My mother. I try to think of her fondly in her death, but there's times I lay down and remember the childhood. My dad was a drug dealer/do-er who ran out. My mom was a model turned postal worker turned prostitute and constantly a drunken mess and party girl. Obviously I had to be taken soon until I could fend for myself as a teenager. She stayed the same till I became an adult and tried to be a mom too late. There was always strain, but it lessened after I moved.
My grandfather was cold to everyone, but singled out me most from the grandchildren. I heard he was angry with my conception. He never let me forget that I shouldn't of been. Grandma just hated gays, but she was decent for the most part.
Sigh. i can't believe I got my thoughts and anger of my family out on a fucking forum of geeks. I don't know how I feel.
@Viga: I'm really sorry that your family life is like that... that's just terrible. All of it. o_o I'm always impressed when I see a lovely personality like yours persevere through an upbringing like that, though.