See, that's one thing I never got about my half of this fucked up species. Why do we guys find lesbians hot? It's like being lactose intolerant and going to an ice cream parlor.
Well, for me anyway, I'm not very attracted to guys. In fact, I find most guys to be very disgustingly unattractive in a sexual sense. If I was viewing some porn (not that I ever have, mind you), and some hairy-assed guy walks in, it kinda ruins it for me. Solo women can get old pretty quick. So, lesbian stuff becomes a good alternative.
Also, there's kind of the idea that, if a woman is open to that sort of thing, she might be tolerant of a lot of other things.
1. She must understand that my little plastic men are *very important*. If they are a deal breaker for her, then she will go before they do. She need not like or even understand them, but she must tolerate them.
2. She must be generally geeky.
3. When I go on for an hour about how the filibuster is a blight on our democracy or about "political sports teams", she must know what I am talking about and be able to contribute to the conversation.
4. There will be no children.
5. She must be an atheist, or at least not strongly religious. My last girlfriend was very religious at the start of the relationship, and it took months to de-program her.
1. I play for keeps. If someone isn't looking for a serious/long term relationship, they shouldn't even ask me out.
2. They must have similar interests and hobbies. Not all the same, but enough that I can hold excited/dorky/involved conversations for hours at a time.
3. They must respect my spiritual choices. They don't have to be religious or spiritual or anything, just respect that I believe what I believe and understand that them telling me it's horrible, PARTICULARLY if they don't even try to understand where I'm coming from, is a complete deal-breaker. I promise I'm not crazy-religious or even really Christian, I just want to be able to believe what I do in peace. I won't force anyone to agree with me.
4. Also respect my major/passions in life. They don't have to think it's the GREATEST THING EVER, just don't tell me my major is pointless and my life won't be as meaningful and expect a second date (and yes, someone has told me this on a first date). It would be even better, and is extremely preferable, if said person would let me dress them up.
5. Energetic/dynamic personality, able to keep up with me in conversation, but not too much uncontrollable explosive all-over-the-place-ness. I want someone I can have fun goofing off with, not someone I have to babysit.
6. Someone understanding, who listens, and is able to as readily able to admit to their own faults as constructively point out mine.
7. NOT IN THE MILITARY. It IS a deal breaker. I know myself well enough to know that I would never be able to cope with that long-term.
8. Similarly, nothing that starts out long-distance or quickly becomes long-distance. I don't have a car and I can't visit, and I refuse to put all the work on someone else.
9. Someone that will cook with me/eat my cooking. If I offer to cook, it's because I want to, not because I feel obligated. It's mildly offensive when someone says, "No, I don't want you to cook for me". It makes it seem like my cooking is bad even if they're trying to be polite and save me trouble.
10. Doesn't smoke. Once and awhile at parties? Maybe. But anything over once a month and it is going to start bothering me. I'm way too sensitive to smells and my views on smoking are such that it would make me crazy.
11. MUST SMELL GOOD AND SHOWER REGULARLY. Why would I want to be close to someone who doesn't shower and smells like it?
12. Has something to be passionate/ambitious about. Ambition is a huge turn-on, to me it is more attractive to me than straight-out confidence.
13. Hands. I have this weird thing about hands. I can be attracted to people of all sizes and shapes, but if they have fathands or rough hands, I have a lot of trouble getting past it.
14. Somehow artistic/geeky.
15. I must get along with their friends/be able to be friends with their close friends too. Family isn't a requirement though, families suck a lot of the time. But they MUST get along with at least my best friends and my dad.
16. Likes animals. +SUPER POINTS for rabbit lovers. If my bunny doesn't like you, chances are I don't like you as much either.
17. Shallow and silly but... must appreciate Disney. Not necessarily obsessive, but can watch Disney movies often and not complain.
18. TRUST.
...I think that's pretty much everything. That's the general basis, at any rate.
2. Encourages me. I don't want a ton of encouragement all the time, but if I start downing on myself, they need to encourage me and make me feel better, I guess. Even if it doesn't work, and at that specific time I don't want it to work, they have to not give up or get frustrated with me.
3. Can accept occasional clingy-ness or overly cuddly-ness. I like physical contact, and while I can accept someone needing it to stop so we can stuff done, I will just randomly latch. If they are bothered by this...Yeah, problem.
4. They need to not harp on me for major things. I'm a picky eater, I have some silly views and phobias, and I'm a little ridiculous sometimes. If they can accept that I'm working on myself most of the time and that I am trying to fix things, but that there's just too much to fix all at once, this is a good thing. If they are ALWAYS going to nag or make fun of me for problems I have that I have made clear that I am aware of and trying to fix, I will get annoyed.
5. They need to understand my humor and sarcasm and not get confused at everything I say.
6. If I say something, it's a big plus if they actually remember it, especially if it's something they didn't already know about. If I've said something more than three times and they still don't remember the conversation, it's really frustrating and insulting.
Those are some of the major things. Maybe add more laterz.
I say a person needs to be: - Healthy, Clean, and Reasonably attractive: This means you can't be fat with gross teeth and smell bad, but any race or height is good. - Intelligent, Kind, Interesting, and Open-Minded - Smart is good, but kindness is absolutely essential. Someone with compassion for people and animals, who wants things to be fair. Also, I want this person to like all sorts of things and be open to new experiences. No Xenophobes at my door, please. -Self Reliant and Responsible: I want this person to be relatively stable and chill, and be able to deal with stuff on their own.
Other than that, I don't care. You people are so picky! No wonder nerds don't get girlfriends!
I say a person needs to be: - Healthy, Clean, and Reasonably attractive: This means you can't be fat with gross teeth and smell bad, but any race or height is good. - Intelligent, Kind, Interesting, and Open-Minded - Smart is good, but kindness is absolutely essential. Someone with compassion for people and animals, who wants things to be fair. Also, I want this person to like all sorts of things and be open to new experiences. No Xenophobes at my door, please. -Self Reliant and Responsible: I want this person to be relatively stable and chill, and be able to deal with stuff on their own.
Other than that, I don't care. You people are so picky! No wonder nerds don't get girlfriends!
Joe said "Dream Lover," not "Standards." You listed basically all I really want out of someone; the other "criteria" I listed would just be icing on the cake.
My dream car is a Koenigsegg CCXR. But really, I just want something zippy to get me from A to B.
Oh, I see. That makes more sense. Funny thing, I had a list like this from when I was single and in high school and Rym hits about 90% of the points, among which were: - Athletic: Has to be able to run fast and play all sorts of sports. Is competitive, but doesn't belittle me if he wins. Would karate spar with me if I asked him to. - Long Dark Hair like a bishonen. - Super smart and good at math. Wears fashionable glasses. - Really likes animals. Plays with dogs and likes bunnies. - Really Sweet, but also sarcastic and snarky sometimes. - Is not picky about food or music. - Wants to go to other countries. - Likes animation.
I have standards, and I have dreams. I've met many girls who, at first glance, look like the girl of my dreams! But then she can fall at the first standard. Usually they aren't single. My standards for fleeting relationships are very different, and far more lax, than those I have for a prospective long term relationship.
I think I've mentioned of the forum before that my list of non-negotiable qualities in a prospective serious relationship lady come mainly from experience, and that I've kept to this list for my own protection. At the start of any relationship, I think "Well, there's this little thing wrong... but I can live with that, right?"
It turns out that no matter how minor I think it is on the first few dates, or in the first few weeks of the relationship, when month three or four rolls round, that issue will be the thing that is driving me crazy.
My list includes: * Must be emotionally available. Nobody currently in, or recently out of, another relationship. * Must be emotionally mature. Or at least at my level. * Not long distant. * Physically attractive. * Has good teeth. * Doesn't smoke/smells good. * Must find me physically attractive. * Must be passionate about me. * Must be passionate about something that isn't me. I can't be the only important thing in her life! * Must accept that I will change with time, and that I'll be doing new things. * Probably not religious. I've nothing against religious people, I just have bad history with Christianity, and would rather avoid any issues. * Must accept that my life is already quite strange, as is willing to put up with or embrace that strangeness. Be happy when I'm traveling, and don't get annoyed that I'm away from home so much. Or better yet, come with me. * Must be at the same stage in life as I am. In other words, you must already be some steps along the way in your life plan, and know what you are doing for the next few years at least. I can't be bothered to help someone else settle down, get an apartment, get a job, and all that. I went through all of that six years ago. I'm not going to do it again with a new girlfriend. As a boyfriend, I can't be an impartial advisor, and the responsibility is too much if you are just starting out in your adult life.
None of these things make me attracted to a girl, it just makes them compatible with me for a long term relationship. What makes me attracted are the Dream Lover qualities. And for those things, I'm pretty open!
These include: Is funny. Also laughs at my jokes. Is artistic. Reads a lot. Likes music. Likes making music. I'
Basically, if there's one thing I've learned over the past year, sometimes you fall for types of people who you'd never expect to. I think it's a good thing to have thought about what you'd like to see in a partner, but ultimately I think you have to keep yourself open to different possibilities too.
I have standards, and I have dreams. I've met many girls who, at first glance, look like the girl of my dreams! But then she can fall at the first standard. Usually they aren't single. My standards for fleeting relationships are very different, and far more lax, than those I have for a prospective long term relationship.
I think I've mentioned of the forum before that my list of non-negotiable qualities in a prospective serious relationship lady come mainly from experience, and that I've kept to this list for my own protection. At the start of any relationship, I think "Well, there's this little thing wrong... but I can live with that, right?"
It turns out that no matter how minor I think it is on the first few dates, or in the first few weeks of the relationship, when month three or four rolls round, that issue will be the thing that is driving me crazy.
My list includes: * Must be emotionally available. Nobody currently in, or recently out of, another relationship. * Must be emotionally mature. Or at least at my level. * Not long distant. * Physically attractive. * Has good teeth. * Doesn't smoke/smells good. * Must find me physically attractive. * Must be passionate about me. * Must be passionate about something that isn't me. I can't be the only important thing in her life! * Must accept that I will change with time, and that I'll be doing new things. * Probably not religious. I've nothing against religious people, I just have bad history with Christianity, and would rather avoid any issues. * Must accept that my life is already quite strange, as is willing to put up with or embrace that strangeness. Be happy when I'm traveling, and don't get annoyed that I'm away from home so much. Or better yet, come with me. * Must be at the same stage in life as I am. In other words, you must already be some steps along the way in your life plan, and know what you are doing for the next few years at least. I can't be bothered to help someone else settle down, get an apartment, get a job, and all that. I went through all of that six years ago. I'm not going to do it again with a new girlfriend. As a boyfriend, I can't be an impartial advisor, and the responsibility is too much if you are just starting out in your adult life.
None of these things make me attracted to a girl, it just makes them compatible with me for a long term relationship. What makes me attracted are the Dream Lover qualities. And for those things, I'm pretty open!
These include: Is funny. Also laughs at my jokes. Is artistic. Reads a lot. Likes music. Likes making music. I'm a fan of their creative output, and them of mine. Sexy. Likes sex. Is emotional, and is happy that I'm emotional. Likes watching movies. Likes drinking. Is fine when I don't feel like drinking. Likes to travel. Likes playing board games. Likes it when I take photos of them. Likes cycling.
The list could go on. Of course, the "minimum standards" list are things that I can't change about a girl. It just so happens that many of the second list are things that I can try to change. For example, my current girlfriend is already a musician, and loves reading, and watching movies, and is funny, but she has a car, and hadn't used her bike in years. I convinced her to get her bike repaired, and now she leaves it at my place so we can go out together. She also wasn't interested in playing games so much. Except Trivial Pursuits, as she loves trivia quizzes. I'm slowly introducing her to some of my favourite two player games. Also, due to disappointing experiences in the past, she didn't think she liked sex that much. It turns out she'd not had sex with the right person. Sex quickly became awesome, and is continually getting better and better as she becomes more confident. Dream Lover... yeah.
I don't have a dream lover, but I do hope to find:
-Someone who I can have good conversations with -Doesn't judge my appearance -Respects my likes and dislikes -Likes sports (but not American football). If he likes football (soccer), even better. -Doesn't judge me by my birthplace. -Likes cats. This is a key point. -Enjoys some of my geeky hobbies. -Is honest about his thoughts and feelings. -Understands I can't read minds, therefore, is not the quiet type. -Doesn't cheat nor is a womanizer (or says "I love all women") -Isn't a perv, or at least keeps his libido under control. I have nothing against a little intimate fun, but I don't consider it important in a relationship. -Is not jealous. -Doesn't smoke, and either is a teetotaller or a moderate drinker. I don't like drunkards.
And these two may seem silly, but I wish they could be true: -Is a decent dancer -Can sing and/or play a musical instrument. Preferably both.
As I have gotten older my relationship needs have changed. The main thing I need from a woman is that she knows who she is and what she wants. As long as that is true the compatibility question can be answered quickly.
My dream requirements are very specific regarding outward and inward appearence.
Comments
Also, there's kind of the idea that, if a woman is open to that sort of thing, she might be tolerant of a lot of other things.
I like steak. Do you know what's better than steak? Two steaks.
2. She must be generally geeky.
3. When I go on for an hour about how the filibuster is a blight on our democracy or about "political sports teams", she must know what I am talking about and be able to contribute to the conversation.
4. There will be no children.
5. She must be an atheist, or at least not strongly religious. My last girlfriend was very religious at the start of the relationship, and it took months to de-program her.
2. They must have similar interests and hobbies. Not all the same, but enough that I can hold excited/dorky/involved conversations for hours at a time.
3. They must respect my spiritual choices. They don't have to be religious or spiritual or anything, just respect that I believe what I believe and understand that them telling me it's horrible, PARTICULARLY if they don't even try to understand where I'm coming from, is a complete deal-breaker. I promise I'm not crazy-religious or even really Christian, I just want to be able to believe what I do in peace. I won't force anyone to agree with me.
4. Also respect my major/passions in life. They don't have to think it's the GREATEST THING EVER, just don't tell me my major is pointless and my life won't be as meaningful and expect a second date (and yes, someone has told me this on a first date). It would be even better, and is extremely preferable, if said person would let me dress them up.
5. Energetic/dynamic personality, able to keep up with me in conversation, but not too much uncontrollable explosive all-over-the-place-ness. I want someone I can have fun goofing off with, not someone I have to babysit.
6. Someone understanding, who listens, and is able to as readily able to admit to their own faults as constructively point out mine.
7. NOT IN THE MILITARY. It IS a deal breaker. I know myself well enough to know that I would never be able to cope with that long-term.
8. Similarly, nothing that starts out long-distance or quickly becomes long-distance. I don't have a car and I can't visit, and I refuse to put all the work on someone else.
9. Someone that will cook with me/eat my cooking. If I offer to cook, it's because I want to, not because I feel obligated. It's mildly offensive when someone says, "No, I don't want you to cook for me". It makes it seem like my cooking is bad even if they're trying to be polite and save me trouble.
10. Doesn't smoke. Once and awhile at parties? Maybe. But anything over once a month and it is going to start bothering me. I'm way too sensitive to smells and my views on smoking are such that it would make me crazy.
11. MUST SMELL GOOD AND SHOWER REGULARLY. Why would I want to be close to someone who doesn't shower and smells like it?
12. Has something to be passionate/ambitious about. Ambition is a huge turn-on, to me it is more attractive to me than straight-out confidence.
13. Hands. I have this weird thing about hands. I can be attracted to people of all sizes and shapes, but if they have fathands or rough hands, I have a lot of trouble getting past it.
14. Somehow artistic/geeky.
15. I must get along with their friends/be able to be friends with their close friends too. Family isn't a requirement though, families suck a lot of the time. But they MUST get along with at least my best friends and my dad.
16. Likes animals. +SUPER POINTS for rabbit lovers. If my bunny doesn't like you, chances are I don't like you as much either.
17. Shallow and silly but... must appreciate Disney. Not necessarily obsessive, but can watch Disney movies often and not complain.
18. TRUST.
...I think that's pretty much everything. That's the general basis, at any rate.
1. Geeky. Simple, I know.
2. Encourages me. I don't want a ton of encouragement all the time, but if I start downing on myself, they need to encourage me and make me feel better, I guess. Even if it doesn't work, and at that specific time I don't want it to work, they have to not give up or get frustrated with me.
3. Can accept occasional clingy-ness or overly cuddly-ness. I like physical contact, and while I can accept someone needing it to stop so we can stuff done, I will just randomly latch. If they are bothered by this...Yeah, problem.
4. They need to not harp on me for major things. I'm a picky eater, I have some silly views and phobias, and I'm a little ridiculous sometimes. If they can accept that I'm working on myself most of the time and that I am trying to fix things, but that there's just too much to fix all at once, this is a good thing. If they are ALWAYS going to nag or make fun of me for problems I have that I have made clear that I am aware of and trying to fix, I will get annoyed.
5. They need to understand my humor and sarcasm and not get confused at everything I say.
6. If I say something, it's a big plus if they actually remember it, especially if it's something they didn't already know about. If I've said something more than three times and they still don't remember the conversation, it's really frustrating and insulting.
Those are some of the major things. Maybe add more laterz.
I say a person needs to be:
- Healthy, Clean, and Reasonably attractive: This means you can't be fat with gross teeth and smell bad, but any race or height is good.
- Intelligent, Kind, Interesting, and Open-Minded - Smart is good, but kindness is absolutely essential. Someone with compassion for people and animals, who wants things to be fair. Also, I want this person to like all sorts of things and be open to new experiences. No Xenophobes at my door, please.
-Self Reliant and Responsible: I want this person to be relatively stable and chill, and be able to deal with stuff on their own.
Other than that, I don't care. You people are so picky! No wonder nerds don't get girlfriends!
yet.
Also, when I saw the title of this thread I thought
was the obvious answer.
My dream car is a Koenigsegg CCXR. But really, I just want something zippy to get me from A to B.
Funny thing, I had a list like this from when I was single and in high school and Rym hits about 90% of the points, among which were:
- Athletic: Has to be able to run fast and play all sorts of sports. Is competitive, but doesn't belittle me if he wins. Would karate spar with me if I asked him to.
- Long Dark Hair like a bishonen.
- Super smart and good at math. Wears fashionable glasses.
- Really likes animals. Plays with dogs and likes bunnies.
- Really Sweet, but also sarcastic and snarky sometimes.
- Is not picky about food or music.
- Wants to go to other countries.
- Likes animation.
I think I've mentioned of the forum before that my list of non-negotiable qualities in a prospective serious relationship lady come mainly from experience, and that I've kept to this list for my own protection. At the start of any relationship, I think "Well, there's this little thing wrong... but I can live with that, right?"
It turns out that no matter how minor I think it is on the first few dates, or in the first few weeks of the relationship, when month three or four rolls round, that issue will be the thing that is driving me crazy.
My list includes:
* Must be emotionally available. Nobody currently in, or recently out of, another relationship.
* Must be emotionally mature. Or at least at my level.
* Not long distant.
* Physically attractive.
* Has good teeth.
* Doesn't smoke/smells good.
* Must find me physically attractive.
* Must be passionate about me.
* Must be passionate about something that isn't me. I can't be the only important thing in her life!
* Must accept that I will change with time, and that I'll be doing new things.
* Probably not religious. I've nothing against religious people, I just have bad history with Christianity, and would rather avoid any issues.
* Must accept that my life is already quite strange, as is willing to put up with or embrace that strangeness. Be happy when I'm traveling, and don't get annoyed that I'm away from home so much. Or better yet, come with me.
* Must be at the same stage in life as I am. In other words, you must already be some steps along the way in your life plan, and know what you are doing for the next few years at least. I can't be bothered to help someone else settle down, get an apartment, get a job, and all that. I went through all of that six years ago. I'm not going to do it again with a new girlfriend. As a boyfriend, I can't be an impartial advisor, and the responsibility is too much if you are just starting out in your adult life.
None of these things make me attracted to a girl, it just makes them compatible with me for a long term relationship. What makes me attracted are the Dream Lover qualities. And for those things, I'm pretty open!
These include:
Is funny.
Also laughs at my jokes.
Is artistic.
Reads a lot.
Likes music. Likes making music.
I'
I think I've mentioned of the forum before that my list of non-negotiable qualities in a prospective serious relationship lady come mainly from experience, and that I've kept to this list for my own protection. At the start of any relationship, I think "Well, there's this little thing wrong... but I can live with that, right?"
It turns out that no matter how minor I think it is on the first few dates, or in the first few weeks of the relationship, when month three or four rolls round, that issue will be the thing that is driving me crazy.
My list includes:
* Must be emotionally available. Nobody currently in, or recently out of, another relationship.
* Must be emotionally mature. Or at least at my level.
* Not long distant.
* Physically attractive.
* Has good teeth.
* Doesn't smoke/smells good.
* Must find me physically attractive.
* Must be passionate about me.
* Must be passionate about something that isn't me. I can't be the only important thing in her life!
* Must accept that I will change with time, and that I'll be doing new things.
* Probably not religious. I've nothing against religious people, I just have bad history with Christianity, and would rather avoid any issues.
* Must accept that my life is already quite strange, as is willing to put up with or embrace that strangeness. Be happy when I'm traveling, and don't get annoyed that I'm away from home so much. Or better yet, come with me.
* Must be at the same stage in life as I am. In other words, you must already be some steps along the way in your life plan, and know what you are doing for the next few years at least. I can't be bothered to help someone else settle down, get an apartment, get a job, and all that. I went through all of that six years ago. I'm not going to do it again with a new girlfriend. As a boyfriend, I can't be an impartial advisor, and the responsibility is too much if you are just starting out in your adult life.
None of these things make me attracted to a girl, it just makes them compatible with me for a long term relationship. What makes me attracted are the Dream Lover qualities. And for those things, I'm pretty open!
These include:
Is funny.
Also laughs at my jokes.
Is artistic.
Reads a lot.
Likes music. Likes making music.
I'm a fan of their creative output, and them of mine.
Sexy.
Likes sex.
Is emotional, and is happy that I'm emotional.
Likes watching movies.
Likes drinking.
Is fine when I don't feel like drinking.
Likes to travel.
Likes playing board games.
Likes it when I take photos of them.
Likes cycling.
The list could go on. Of course, the "minimum standards" list are things that I can't change about a girl. It just so happens that many of the second list are things that I can try to change. For example, my current girlfriend is already a musician, and loves reading, and watching movies, and is funny, but she has a car, and hadn't used her bike in years. I convinced her to get her bike repaired, and now she leaves it at my place so we can go out together. She also wasn't interested in playing games so much. Except Trivial Pursuits, as she loves trivia quizzes. I'm slowly introducing her to some of my favourite two player games. Also, due to disappointing experiences in the past, she didn't think she liked sex that much. It turns out she'd not had sex with the right person. Sex quickly became awesome, and is continually getting better and better as she becomes more confident. Dream Lover... yeah.
You know, having 30 minutes to edit is fine, unless there is no internet connection for more than 30 minutes!
-Someone who I can have good conversations with
-Doesn't judge my appearance
-Respects my likes and dislikes
-Likes sports (but not American football). If he likes football (soccer), even better.
-Doesn't judge me by my birthplace.
-Likes cats. This is a key point.
-Enjoys some of my geeky hobbies.
-Is honest about his thoughts and feelings.
-Understands I can't read minds, therefore, is not the quiet type.
-Doesn't cheat nor is a womanizer (or says "I love all women")
-Isn't a perv, or at least keeps his libido under control. I have nothing against a little intimate fun, but I don't consider it important in a relationship.
-Is not jealous.
-Doesn't smoke, and either is a teetotaller or a moderate drinker. I don't like drunkards.
And these two may seem silly, but I wish they could be true:
-Is a decent dancer
-Can sing and/or play a musical instrument. Preferably both.
Oh, how I'd wish.
My dream requirements are very specific regarding outward and inward appearence.