I could not agree with lukeburrage more on his advice. In any relationship, romantic or otherwise, I attempt always to see the person as themselves (a complete entity unto themselves as individuals) rather than seeing them as their role in my life. It has become clear to me as I have grown up that this is a relative oddity, and that a lot of people define others (and even themselves) solely on their "roles". Too often, seeing others for what they are to you/what they provide to you not only disconnects you from them, but also generates a world view that the world is defined by its relation to you, and by your relation to it. I know this seems obvious - but it is a genuine issue that I have observed in several relationships. I also think that actions speek louder than words (though the words are still nice) when it comes to expressing affection. Consistant thoughtfulnees in everyday actions says far more than a box of roses or a cliche statement ever could. That being said, a thoughtful humorous or sweet card, note minor token or gesture, etc. when one person is having a bad day or for no reason at all is always nice.
I also think that actions speek louder than words (though the words are still nice) when it comes to expressing affection. Consistant thoughtfulnees in everyday actions says far more than a box of roses or a cliche statement ever could. That being said, a thoughtful humorous or sweet card, note minor token or gesture, etc. when one person is having a bad day or for no reason at all is always nice.
I've noticed that several times in my parents marriage (27 yrs and going).
As for myself, I've never been in a relationship, and as such cannot speak on such matters.
-There's a nice little aquarium at the end of the pier in my town. We could spend some time there and then walk around downtown/the strand/the beach.
-Go see Bolt. She loves Disney movies, especially animated ones, and I heard that it's actually pretty good. The only thing about that is if we're watching a movie we're not talking, which is the main reason I don't like "dinner and a movie".
-Go fly kites, because it's awesome.
-Go bike riding, because it's awesome. Could also be combined with aquarium or kites.
Any more ideas or suggestions on which of these are the best are appreciated.
Any more ideas or suggestions on which of these are the best are appreciated.
Why don't you take her sailing?
Plays are a little better than movies as far as conversations go. Plays often give you more to talk about afterwards. Comedy clubs are good that way too. Some of the best comedy club dates come from open mike night. It's cheap and sometimes unintentionally funny. If you live near a university, museum, or good library, you might take her to a guest lecture on some topic you both find interesting.
I'd be careful with everything that makes you sweat, for obvious reasons. Of course going swimming or taking a shower afterwards could end up making the date more interesting.
Depends on were you go. Just recently me and my girlfriend took a bus to Providence Mall and we had a blast there. Hell even when we were at Talbots we had a great time.
If you are talking about clothes shopping I can not think of a more fine TORTURE.
There are not many things that are less interesting for a guy than a woman's clothing store, but if you can deal with it, she will probably be impressed. Also, she might model some clothes for you.
If you are talking about clothes shopping I can not think of a more fine TORTURE.
There are not many things that are less interesting for a guy than a woman's clothing store, but if you can deal with it, she will probably be impressed. Also, she might model some clothes for you.
If you show her that you care more about her interests than yours, she will like you more, and probably reciprocate. Duh.
Depends on were you go. Just recently me and my girlfriend took a bus to Providence Mall and we had a blast there. Hell even when we were at Talbots we had a great time.
Wait...are you talking about the Providence Place Mall?
If you are talking about clothes shopping I can not think of a more fine TORTURE.
What about sexy clothes shopping? Is that TORTURE? :P
She... backed out.
Lame. Sorry to hear that, but there will be more opportunities for you in the future. At least now you know of a good date activity instead of dinner and movie.
(Side note: Every time I think or hear of dinner and a movie, I think of the TBS show, "Dinner and A Movie", and the theme song "Beans and Cornbread" starts playing in my head. -_-)
Definitely keep the "take her sailing" idea for future use, though. That's a fantastic freakin' idea. If there's storage space on your sailboat, you could pack a lunch, sail to a small island, and have a picnic.
Definitely keep the "take her sailing" idea for future use, though. That's a fantastic freakin' idea. If there's storage space on your sailboat, you could pack a lunch, sail to a small island, and have a picnic.
MAKE SURE SHE DOES NOT GET SEA SICK FIRST.... This is vital.
If you show her that you care more about her interests than yours, she will like you more, and probably reciprocate. Duh.
If you don't care more about her interests than your own, don't show her that you do! It is called lying.
The trick is to fake sincerity. Once you've got that down, everything else is easy.
Seriously though, you don't have to like her interests more than yours -- you just have to care about them more. That means listening to her and participating in the things she likes as a way of showing your interest and respect for her. You don't have to like shoe shopping, but if you listen to her talk about shoes and then help her pick out a couple of pairs based on what she told you, it will show you are genuinely interested in her.
And Sail, you must explain what happened here, man. We can't just have chicks mistreating you all willy-nilly. If need be, we can call Geek Militia Post 1337 out to track her down and teach her a lesson.
Seriously though, you don't have to like her interests more than yours -- you just have to care about them more.
I disagree entirely. Caring about your partners interests is good, and needed, but not more than your own interests. If you feel you have to do that you are on a rocky start in your relationship.
Find someone who has interesting interests, and who finds yours interesting, and you'll have a good balance. Sacrifice none of your passions for your partner, and expect them to sacrifice nothing in return. Be honest, be equal.
Comments
In any relationship, romantic or otherwise, I attempt always to see the person as themselves (a complete entity unto themselves as individuals) rather than seeing them as their role in my life. It has become clear to me as I have grown up that this is a relative oddity, and that a lot of people define others (and even themselves) solely on their "roles". Too often, seeing others for what they are to you/what they provide to you not only disconnects you from them, but also generates a world view that the world is defined by its relation to you, and by your relation to it. I know this seems obvious - but it is a genuine issue that I have observed in several relationships.
I also think that actions speek louder than words (though the words are still nice) when it comes to expressing affection. Consistant thoughtfulnees in everyday actions says far more than a box of roses or a cliche statement ever could. That being said, a thoughtful humorous or sweet card, note minor token or gesture, etc. when one person is having a bad day or for no reason at all is always nice.
As for myself, I've never been in a relationship, and as such cannot speak on such matters.
-There's a nice little aquarium at the end of the pier in my town. We could spend some time there and then walk around downtown/the strand/the beach.
-Go see Bolt. She loves Disney movies, especially animated ones, and I heard that it's actually pretty good. The only thing about that is if we're watching a movie we're not talking, which is the main reason I don't like "dinner and a movie".
-Go fly kites, because it's awesome.
-Go bike riding, because it's awesome. Could also be combined with aquarium or kites.
Any more ideas or suggestions on which of these are the best are appreciated.
Plays are a little better than movies as far as conversations go. Plays often give you more to talk about afterwards. Comedy clubs are good that way too. Some of the best comedy club dates come from open mike night. It's cheap and sometimes unintentionally funny. If you live near a university, museum, or good library, you might take her to a guest lecture on some topic you both find interesting.
(Side note: Every time I think or hear of dinner and a movie, I think of the TBS show, "Dinner and A Movie", and the theme song "Beans and Cornbread" starts playing in my head. -_-)
Definitely keep the "take her sailing" idea for future use, though. That's a fantastic freakin' idea. If there's storage space on your sailboat, you could pack a lunch, sail to a small island, and have a picnic.
Seriously though, you don't have to like her interests more than yours -- you just have to care about them more. That means listening to her and participating in the things she likes as a way of showing your interest and respect for her. You don't have to like shoe shopping, but if you listen to her talk about shoes and then help her pick out a couple of pairs based on what she told you, it will show you are genuinely interested in her.
And Sail, you must explain what happened here, man. We can't just have chicks mistreating you all willy-nilly. If need be, we can call Geek Militia Post 1337 out to track her down and teach her a lesson.
Find someone who has interesting interests, and who finds yours interesting, and you'll have a good balance. Sacrifice none of your passions for your partner, and expect them to sacrifice nothing in return. Be honest, be equal.