Not all of them. No, not all of them. They don't all like children either.
Obligatory funny story:
There was this girl I really liked in High School. Unfortunately she developed crushes on a series of guys who first of all weren't me and even worse weren't interested in her either. So I had been pining helplessly for quite a while and as long as she was unhappily single I couldn't force myself to get over her. Now, we were in the same physics class together and right now the class was doing a project where we would break up into teams of two and try to build compressed air rockets out of 2 liter soda bottles. The object of my affections and I were assigned to the same team, and we ended up working together at her house.
We worked, I was happy, and I ended up staying for dinner too. There we were: her, myself, her parents, her younger brothers, and some other relative of hers who was visiting and I was trying my darnedest to make stimulating conversation. The food was brought out, salad and pasta, and the salad dressing was passed around and I put some on my food like everyone else while continuing to listen to what she was saying and make interesting replies.
But then everyone was staring at me, and it occurred to me that what I had just put the salad dressing on was my pasta. I think I made a valiant attempt to pass it off as an interesting experiment in food consumption, but I don't think I fooled anyone.
Thats my best embarrassing dating story, though it wasn't really a date. I've got others that I can laugh at now, but they tend to be a bit more personal.
Unfortunately, I've never dated before. There was a friend of mine who I had considered dating senior year of high school, but another pair in my group of friends had recently dated, broken up, and destroyed their friendship. This basically made it impossible for our entire circle to be together and have a good time. I valued our friendship a lot, and didn't want to risk it, so I didn't ask her out.
That, and I harbored the fear that I would be rejected for being as dorky as I was then. I like to think I've gotten less so in the last year.
The crazy exaggerations have come back to bite me in the ass a few times. Luckily I've been pretty much honest with my current girlfriend.
I do have one story of my girlfriend and I walking through London (Leicester Square area) and I looked across the street and was all =O and had a big ol' grin on my face. She looked at me, looked across the street and saw a full window banner for some lingerie and probably made a face similar to this: >=[ but then she heard me utter the words that made her laugh for quite a while, "Holy crap! They're having a PC LAN Party for Call of Duty 4 in HMV! Sweet!"
Yeah, that was the moment she realized how much of a geek the guy she was going out with was.
Note: HMV is a multimedia store that sell music, movies and games etc.
First of all, I am dumb. Why? Because, it is hard for me to decipher the signs that tells me when a girl is interested in me. Sometimes, I go on the wrong direction and it works but alas, when later on I learn that someone I was more interested in was interested in me, I was already chained. Any advice will be gladly welcome.
Yeah I wish girls would be more straight forward, even if it is to say "I don't like you". Better to know than to keep guessing and looking like a fool.
I meant straight forward as in if I'm constantly asking you out, but instead of just saying no, you give me some excuse. That keeps me hopeful, take away the hope, just say no, I don't like you like that and so be it.
Well, they don't want to hurt your feelings. Can't really blame them for having empathy.
I have a friend who desperately needs a girlfriend, he's not a bad looking dude, a lot better than I am (although that isn't saying much) and yet finds excuses constantly to not ask girls out. The biggest one that peeves me off is his insistence that he's in the friend zone and that is call for giving up all hope, in my life time I've never seen or heard of this friend zone... nor understand it very well, but yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is my friend is an idiot. No deep underlying meaning in this post.
Well, they don't want to hurt your feelings. Can't really blame them for having empathy.
I have a friend who desperately needs a girlfriend, he's not a bad looking dude, a lot better than I am (although that isn't saying much) and yet finds excuses constantly to not ask girls out. The biggest one that peeves me off is his insistence that he's in the friend zone and that is call for giving up all hope, in my life time I've never seen or heard of this friend zone... nor understand it very well, but yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is my friend is an idiot. No deep underlying meaning in this post.
I don't really understand the whole "friends being off-limits because it could wreck the group" thing. Plenty of times before people in my circle of friends have been really into eachother and have either broken up or stayed together, both resulting in virtually no change. Never has anything relationship-related ever caused a major disturbance in the group's dynamics. It makes me wonder what the difference is in my group versus others from all these horror stories I hear.
I meant straight forward as in if I'm constantly asking you out, but instead of just saying no, you give me some excuse. That keeps me hopeful, take away the hope, just say no, I don't like you like that and so be it.
Right. For me the plan is pretty much don't be too hopeful about it.
What do you do if you feel like you're forcing conversation to someone you kind of like, especially when they aren't trying to strike up conversation? I always get sort of shafted like this, but it happens everywhere so...
What do you do if you feel like you're forcing conversation to someone you kind of like
Man I've been down that street so many times. I once had to prepare a conversation with a girl, like I was giving some pop quiz. It is painful even so more when you have to convince yourself that it is just that maybe, just maybe, the girl is to shy to start conversation, and years later you become friends with a guy. The guy that ended up dating the same girl, the same girl that asked him out. The same girl that asked him to her prom, and her sister's weeding, etc, etc.
My friend and I call this "Fantasy Land", a world where every girls likes us but is too shy to ask us out. That was pretty much how we kept our souls from rotting away during college when neither one of us even had a girl look our way. Good times.
You know what I've learned in my 22 years of being alive? If you have to force the conversation with a girl, you might be barking up the wrong tree. I know it's hard to let go, especially when the girl looks so good you almost can't get over it in your mind (I've had this many times, most of the time I was the only one who found the girl jaw dropping hot, my friends literally said "Yeah, she's okay I guess"). Often the best type of girl to get with is a girl you've just met but you really kick it off, hell, even if you know a girl already who you get along with really well, ask her out.
I'm a firm believer that there is no friend zone, because the best relationships are where the two persons involved are best friends. Like me! *rubs salt into all you single peoples wounds*
Yeah, being friends before lovers is great or even friends after lovers but it doesn't work for everyone. I have exes I'm still cool with and exes I could never be cool with. Even when it's straight to lovers I like to find that best friendship within.
Plenty of times before people in my circle of friends have been really into eachother and have either broken up or stayed together, both resulting in virtually no change. Never has anything relationship-related ever caused a major disturbance in the group's dynamics. It makes me wonder what the difference is in my group versus others from all these horror stories I hear.
This is common within my ranks. (friendship incest lulz!) You're lucky though, Sail. A relationship I was in failed over a year ago and at first all was okay. Now suddenly he's a douche. It affected the atmosphere we all had. He did something so crappy to me recently that I barely want to be around him or try to his his friend. Then again everyone is starting to feel that way because of his douchebaggery emosity epic suckery. He's an ex I can't be cool with! Alas, he's always around though so I can't avoid him.
The only time I've had a friendship been strained by romantic interest was actually quite recently. There was a girl I'd been friends with, but also flirted with quite a bit for a while. We ended up sleeping together six months ago, but since she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship. There was a lot of awkwardness afterwards, but I think we're back to being just friends now.
On the other hand, all the actual ex-girlfriends I have who I was friends with before, I'm still friends with. I can't stress enough though how important good communication is in relationships. There are lots of things you can lie about and it'll be ok ("Thats a lovely dress") but I try to always be honest about my feelings now matter how painful it can be, and I've never regretted doing so in the long run.
See, coming from the side of the girl who has had a geek-pal guy interested in her, I can kinda understand the just wanting to be friends thing. I used to hang out with this one group of dudes in high school and we all used to go over to this one kid's basement to play VG games and watch anime. That kid became something like my best friend. We used to hang out and talk about all kinds of stuff, and have a really great time, but the trouble was one we had got to know each other really well, he started to get a crush on me. The problem was I liked him on an intellectual-common interest level, but I was not attracted to him in a kissy-face way. It would be like having a best friend of the same sex fall for you, but you aren't gay. And then it is frustrating. Why is "just friends" thought of as such a bad thing? It's kind of a compliment, in a way. The girl is saying "I like your mind. You are cool."
Rym, however, also started out as a common interest friend who I would talk to on the phone a lot. And he's still that friend, only since I find him hot as well, we started dating, all romanchikkuuuu~ (He is my first real boyfriend! I glad I waited for someone I hit it off with!)
I hope I am not the only guy out there when I say: It's great to be single! I have so much free time and money to do whatever I want with! There's no one nagging me to go out or disassembling my delusional schemes of greatness! lol.
Seriosuly, I haven't dated for about three years now. Before, I was in a serious relationship for four years, but it was a failing relationship that I was really stubborn to give up. Not the best years of my life. I learned a lot from it though. It isn't like that I haven't tried to go after girls (there has been plenty of failures in the past three years) , but I feel like that at this point in my life a significant other is not needed to really make me happy. My career right now is at the top of my list and is what makes me the happiest. I am sure that one day that I will meet a girl that I will end up tossing everything away for, but I really hope that is a long ways off!
I don't really pursue dating as much anymore, but I still like going out and meeting new people. I just feel there is so much negative connotation with being "single", but I think right now it's really great. Rejoice, single brothers, rejoice!
Sorry to hear that. I wish you better luck next time you ask someone out.
As for me, I'm in high school and an extremely non-serious relationship with a friend. I don't think I could really end up staying with her, but we're good friends and, as my prospects outside of her are approximately zero, I figure we may as well stay together at least until one of us goes to college. It's also kind of a downer that the one girl I am both attracted to and can talk on a level with in the entire school (my gf can be somewhat immature at times) has a boyfriend of her own, who is perfect for her in every way that I'm not. Oh well.
I asked her and got a no. Sad, but thats how things go sometimes.
Well, I've only asked one girl out in my life and I still struggled knowing that there was a 99.9999% she would say 'yes', so even though this doesn't help you... just know that your balls are probably 4-5 times larger than mine.
Why is "just friends" thought of as such a bad thing?
Well, even though you didn't he was obviously attracted to you in the kissy-face way and since you got along so well he probably had the whole "dream girl" thing most guys get when they find "that" girl (not "the one" or any of that BS, but you know what I mean).
(He is my first real boyfriend! I glad I waited for someone I hit it off with!)
Same with me and my bird, she's my first serious girlfriend and I'm her first serious boyfriend, I was also the first guy to hold her hand, kiss and go on a date with... amongst other things. I consider myself very, very lucky as in our entire 16 month relationship we've only ever had one argument, that lasted 10 minutes, because she misunderstood what I said.
Of course, we argue all the time I guess... but that's mostly debating and having opposing views, but there are many lol's in there and even though we seriously argue about issues it's all just in good conversation and never gets taken personally, until she beats me and I say "Yeah, well... you smell like poo".
Why is "just friends" thought of as such a bad thing?
Well, even though you didn't he was obviously attracted to you in the kissy-face way and since you got along so well he probably had the whole "dream girl" thing most guys get when they find "that" girl (not "the one" or any of that BS, but you know what I mean).
I don't find being friends a bad thing, just a "worse" thing. I've asked friends of mine out and most of them replied no. I guess I was/ am disappointed because one of the great things of being in a relationship is, that you spend lots of time with a person you get along with extremely well. Friends don't tend to hang out THAT much. Of course you may meet quite often, but never as often or as obligatory as when you are in a relationship. In short: Not being in a relationship means spending less time with a person you would want to spend more time with.
Comments
Obligatory funny story:
There was this girl I really liked in High School. Unfortunately she developed crushes on a series of guys who first of all weren't me and even worse weren't interested in her either. So I had been pining helplessly for quite a while and as long as she was unhappily single I couldn't force myself to get over her. Now, we were in the same physics class together and right now the class was doing a project where we would break up into teams of two and try to build compressed air rockets out of 2 liter soda bottles. The object of my affections and I were assigned to the same team, and we ended up working together at her house.
We worked, I was happy, and I ended up staying for dinner too. There we were: her, myself, her parents, her younger brothers, and some other relative of hers who was visiting and I was trying my darnedest to make stimulating conversation. The food was brought out, salad and pasta, and the salad dressing was passed around and I put some on my food like everyone else while continuing to listen to what she was saying and make interesting replies.
But then everyone was staring at me, and it occurred to me that what I had just put the salad dressing on was my pasta. I think I made a valiant attempt to pass it off as an interesting experiment in food consumption, but I don't think I fooled anyone.
Thats my best embarrassing dating story, though it wasn't really a date. I've got others that I can laugh at now, but they tend to be a bit more personal.
That, and I harbored the fear that I would be rejected for being as dorky as I was then. I like to think I've gotten less so in the last year.
I do have one story of my girlfriend and I walking through London (Leicester Square area) and I looked across the street and was all =O and had a big ol' grin on my face. She looked at me, looked across the street and saw a full window banner for some lingerie and probably made a face similar to this: >=[ but then she heard me utter the words that made her laugh for quite a while, "Holy crap! They're having a PC LAN Party for Call of Duty 4 in HMV! Sweet!"
Yeah, that was the moment she realized how much of a geek the guy she was going out with was.
Note: HMV is a multimedia store that sell music, movies and games etc.
Any advice will be gladly welcome.
I have a friend who desperately needs a girlfriend, he's not a bad looking dude, a lot better than I am (although that isn't saying much) and yet finds excuses constantly to not ask girls out. The biggest one that peeves me off is his insistence that he's in the friend zone and that is call for giving up all hope, in my life time I've never seen or heard of this friend zone... nor understand it very well, but yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is my friend is an idiot. No deep underlying meaning in this post.
What do you do if you feel like you're forcing conversation to someone you kind of like, especially when they aren't trying to strike up conversation? I always get sort of shafted like this, but it happens everywhere so...
/rant
You know what I've learned in my 22 years of being alive? If you have to force the conversation with a girl, you might be barking up the wrong tree. I know it's hard to let go, especially when the girl looks so good you almost can't get over it in your mind (I've had this many times, most of the time I was the only one who found the girl jaw dropping hot, my friends literally said "Yeah, she's okay I guess"). Often the best type of girl to get with is a girl you've just met but you really kick it off, hell, even if you know a girl already who you get along with really well, ask her out.
I'm a firm believer that there is no friend zone, because the best relationships are where the two persons involved are best friends. Like me! *rubs salt into all you single peoples wounds*
=P
On the other hand, all the actual ex-girlfriends I have who I was friends with before, I'm still friends with. I can't stress enough though how important good communication is in relationships. There are lots of things you can lie about and it'll be ok ("Thats a lovely dress") but I try to always be honest about my feelings now matter how painful it can be, and I've never regretted doing so in the long run.
Rym, however, also started out as a common interest friend who I would talk to on the phone a lot. And he's still that friend, only since I find him hot as well, we started dating, all romanchikkuuuu~ (He is my first real boyfriend! I glad I waited for someone I hit it off with!)
Seriosuly, I haven't dated for about three years now. Before, I was in a serious relationship for four years, but it was a failing relationship that I was really stubborn to give up. Not the best years of my life. I learned a lot from it though. It isn't like that I haven't tried to go after girls (there has been plenty of failures in the past three years) , but I feel like that at this point in my life a significant other is not needed to really make me happy. My career right now is at the top of my list and is what makes me the happiest. I am sure that one day that I will meet a girl that I will end up tossing everything away for, but I really hope that is a long ways off!
I don't really pursue dating as much anymore, but I still like going out and meeting new people. I just feel there is so much negative connotation with being "single", but I think right now it's really great. Rejoice, single brothers, rejoice!
As for me, I'm in high school and an extremely non-serious relationship with a friend. I don't think I could really end up staying with her, but we're good friends and, as my prospects outside of her are approximately zero, I figure we may as well stay together at least until one of us goes to college. It's also kind of a downer that the one girl I am both attracted to and can talk on a level with in the entire school (my gf can be somewhat immature at times) has a boyfriend of her own, who is perfect for her in every way that I'm not. Oh well.
Of course, we argue all the time I guess... but that's mostly debating and having opposing views, but there are many lol's in there and even though we seriously argue about issues it's all just in good conversation and never gets taken personally, until she beats me and I say "Yeah, well... you smell like poo".
No matter who you date, make sure they are your best friend. It makes life so much fun!