I would like to bid for your assistance as well. I think it would be in your best interest in term of money, power and being FABULOUS. The reason is Praetor Axellus recent scandal makes it ripe for the picking. Also, your prize will be half of Rome.
What do you think, dear Churba.
With all Due Respect, Anax, Dear is not a word usually used for those who provide itemized billing for Death, destruction and mayhem. Power and Half of Rome is not what puts fuel in our tanks and ammunition in our weapons - We're in this purely for the money. As for FABULOUS, we save that sort of activity for our down-time - we're not paid to be fabulous at anything but our trade.
On the business side of things, Far from being merely a force-multiplier, we provide a wide range of services, including assassination, espionage, personal protection, tactical advisement, logistics, training, and of course, overwhelming force via superior firepower. However, please be aware that for most of the operations, we will only be requiring payment and an objective. You point us at a target and let us loose, our methods are our own, and are what makes us the best at what we do.
Also, please be aware that while we may contract our services out to multiple bidders, Our contracts also provide an iron-clad guarantee of your personal safety from any actions by our highly trained operatives. In layman's terms, were you to purchase our services, you are protected from another nation coming along and attempting to hire us to, for example, kill your troops while they are in training, or of course, or assassination of yourself or your family, these contracts would be immediately refused without discussion.
We do ask half of our fee up-front, and expenses, with the other half being paid upon job completion. Though we are the best Mercs money can buy, even we very occasionally meet an objective we cannot achieve, and thus, Failure though a fault of our own will result in the refunding of all fees paid, barring expenses. In the event this hypothetical failure results in your death, the money will be refunded to either your Government, Family, Or charity of your choice, whichever you deem necessary.
Upon your decision of services you wish to have provided to you, you will be provided with a quote. If the price laid out is acceptable and you decide to take up a contract with our company, then the services you have purchased will be immediately commenced, of course, barring set-up times for some services such as training. From this time, you will be invoiced, and you will have 48 hours to provide the first half of the payment, or services will be withdrawn until payment.
Thank you for your time and your consideration of our company, Anax Viga, and we await your decision.
You think to finally triumph over us with mercenaries? Pathetic. Greece truly is weak. The power of Rome prevails!
You think I don't know of what you did, Praetor! Your usurped the position and I am out for vengeance.
We do ask half of our fee up-front, and expenses, with the other half being paid upon job completion. Though we are the best Mercs money can buy, even we very occasionally meet an objective we cannot achieve, and thus, Failure though a fault of our own will result in the refunding of all fees paid, barring expenses. In the event this hypothetical failure results in your death, the money will be refunded to either your Government, Family, Or charity of your choice, whichever you deem necessary.
Upon your decision of services you wish to have provided to you, you will be provided with a quote. If the price laid out is acceptable and you decide to take up a contract with our company, then the services you have purchased will be immediately commenced, of course, barring set-up times for some services such as training. From this time, you will be invoiced, and you will have 48 hours to provide the first half of the payment, or services will be withdrawn until payment.
Thank you for your time and your consideration of our company, Anax Viga, and we await your decision.
Very well. for starters I want your men to assassinate the Praetor and his court. My troops shall mobilize around the area. Can you do it? Quote?
Very well. for starters I want your men to assassinate the Praetor and his court. My troops shall mobilize around the area. Can you do it? Quote?
One hundred fifty thousand per court member, plus expenses, which will be kept to a minimum. The greater security surrounding the Praetor will incur an additional fee, as they will obviously need to be circumvented, thus, three hundred fifty thousand, plus expenses. If you have any additional requirements about how the services are to be rendered, within reason, they will be covered by the fee already quoted, however, please bear in mind that we Professionals, not psychopaths, and thus will be unable to consider requests such as "Slowly and painfully" or unnecessary desecration of the corpse, including bringing you the head of the contracted target.
Considering the likelihood of the Primary target knowing that you are planning to have him killed, and that while you are safe from our own services, you are not safe from the services provided by less proficient contractors, we would also suggest the additional protection package, For which you will be required to pay the ongoing salary of your Personal Protection Staff, with small additional costs incurred in the event of any combat or assassination attempts, in the form of a Hazard pay bonus to your Protection Staff who are involved in the operation.
If you have no additional requirements, then all assassinations will be carried out as quickly and as quietly as possible, with as little collateral damage as possible.
Also, please bear in mind that any collateral damage to structures necessary for the public good as we deem fit or deaths of non-combatants will be reimbursed or compensated for by our company, regardless of you opinion on the nation, the people being provided for or compensated, or opinion on the matter itself - this is simply because, again, we are Mercenaries, not monsters, and we seek to do no harm to those we are not paid to deal with, or do us no harm.
Lastly, This contract is Liable to change at any time, however, only with the consent of both parties, the only exception being cancellation, in which case either party may act independently, if either party deems it necessary.
If these Fees and terms are Acceptable to you, then just sign on the dotted line, so to speak, and the operation shall begin with the utmost immediacy possible.
I have been sent by His Royal Highness King Alastair XXXIX to meet up with Grand Moff Rym of the country where the Beacon Falls are. I didn't understand what he meant by "Beacon Falls" but I rode out with my 79 member army consisting of Dragoons, Knights, Snipers, and more. I made it to the falls around twilight and I was awestruck by how beautiful they were and understood they bore the name "Beacon". Right in the center of the gigantic falls were half a rainbow and half a moonbow appearing to combat each other and tried to overtake one another. I heard a scream from the top and I saw a man on the top. He thick, long, auburn hair that flew in the wind which made him look gorgeous. He had some kind small twin-miniature mirrors over his eyes, the purpose of which was (and still is) unclear to me.
At his side was a woman who was very small and had short blonde hair astride what appeared to be a gigantic black and white spotted rabbit whose name (she told me later) was "Boony" and her name was Emily. He raised his sword and shouted "SODIUM!!!!!" and jumped off the falls to the bottom. I ran into the water and tried to catch him, but to my surprise, giant feathery wings spouted out of his back side and he flew across and did some tricks into the air. The egotism that radiated from this man was mind-blowing. He landed near me after I waded back to my horse, and he shook my hand and said in a distinctly thick and aristocratic accent "I am Grand Moff Rym, do I have the pleasure of making the aquaintance of Lord Horatio Yupa?" I nodded and asked if we could talk in my tent to make negotiations. One thing led after another and I learned he represented the nation of Cnaiur in the service of Emperor Getterbeam (a strange name for a ruler) where all have wings. We became steadfast allies and gave me a horn that he said a wild axe-fighter with the longest of hair and longest beard crafted, whose named Petoria. He said to blow on it and wherever he was, he would come assist me in any way possible in a matter of seconds. The way he left however, was mindblowing; he took out a rose and blew it and he and his squadron disappeared in a gigantic rainbow that flew away into the sky. All I have to say is that, in my 40 years of being a man of combat and exploration, this was one of the strangest days in my life.
Name: Grand Inquisitor Li Akahi Army: Group of radical atheists that wish to eradicate organized religion. Smart, but violent and random. Country: America
Oh bother, it would seem we're having a bit of a rough spot in the colonies again.
OOC: Alrighty then. I'm gonna be assassinated! Let's see how fun this gets.
Protection Log: Day 1: It appears my security is at risk, and so I have been placed in intermediate protection. I have been removed from my housing in Rome to much a more hidden, safe place. My servants are sent out of my current dwelling in order to do my business, and I have left my trusted second-in-command in charge of the court while I am away. Of course, he is still sending away for my advice. It appears trouble is brewing throughout the world, and the great wars are being started once more. It appears a certain Greek ruler has her eyes set on defeating me. She seems to believe that I have obtained this position against my honor. Honor...What is Greece to speak of honor! In the old days, Greece was honored to join the intellect of Rome in grand conquest! Once upon a time, our people were indistinguishable in their culture, and in their knowledge. Greece, for a time, became Rome. We surpassed them long ago, and if she thinks that she can now choose to go against us, now choose to fight...Then she is sorely mistaken.
Just a day after meeting with the eccentric, but incredibly wise Grand Moff Rym, I headed back toward King Alastair XXXIX's Royal Castle to report back. I decided to take a shortcut which would get me there quickly as I couldn't keep His Majesty waiting. Along the way, we had to pass through the city of Uwe, the city of my birth. My squadron could tell I was very excited which is rare as I'm usually very stoic about a good many things in this world. When I approached the hill which overlooked my home, I immediately dropped my blade and gun in shock. No one could even say a word and I got off my horse and kneeled down into the ground pounding into screaming inconsolably. My town is burning, but not in the way one where one accident would start a chain reaction. It was clearly arson, as there were dead bodies around the entrance that look like a blade has cut them in half. I now have a pressing urge to go see His Majesty to find out what happened and what I can do about it.
"Good evening Gentlemen, Ladies, Assorted others.. "Have you ever been on the receiving end of some diabolical contraption and wondered "What just happened?"? Chances are, you are experience the effects of the latest in the line of Omnubrand™ inventions and solutions designed with your demise in mind. Ranging from cyborg cat-girl maid warrior assassins to inter-dimensional cheesecake launching zepplins and even The Steel Frying Pan of Doom™. If ever you need that special something for your next dastardly scheme, I'm only a whisper away. "However.. for such services.. you must pay.. a terrible price." *Manic laughter*
*Ahem*, the paperwork:
Contract for employment of an Evil Genius: 1) Who's idea I work on is determined by it's novelty/entertainment value. Space Lazr < Gravitational mass of Scrym's ego < Mushroom cloud sized yield confetti bomb. 2) Only one invention worked on at a time, I will publicly post some cut-away and give possible clues to the invention's location when I begin work. 3) Inventions will be delivered when dramatically convenient to the plot. 4) If the "Terrible Price" of the invention is not met, it will be made available to a dramatically apropriate party.
**End Transmission**
Profile Name, Role: "Omnutia", Insane genius and proprietor of insane creations. Type: Indirect manipulator, Inventor, Genius, Insane. Morals: "I have money, bad things happen to other people.". Perk: "Impartial Evil" - Can perform a perfect escape if successfully attacked directly (At the cost of current project.) but becomes extremely vulnerable when directly intervening in an ongoing event.
Note to self: When cornered by the forces of justice, must use the line: "I wasn't expecting some kind of rational inquisition!".
And I will be offering my services at a reduced rate to whoever -let us say- "Encourages competition." in that area.
You can't do that! You'll have everyone against you! After all, I'm going to kill everyone's enemy, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend, ergo, everyone is my ally.
Omnutia Shogun, the Northwest Eurasian Empire of Britannia wants to contract your services to build some dastardly devices. Please note that in regards to "terrible prices," our own druid techs have been filling R&D Budgets with human sacrifices for years, so we should be able to work something appropriately abhorrent out. Contact me via whisper if you find such an offer appealing.
Well, I am in Italy...I guess the Vatican is pretty close to where I live. I don't really care, but I'm still not letting you destroy it. It's part of my country, dangit!
Comments
On the business side of things, Far from being merely a force-multiplier, we provide a wide range of services, including assassination, espionage, personal protection, tactical advisement, logistics, training, and of course, overwhelming force via superior firepower. However, please be aware that for most of the operations, we will only be requiring payment and an objective. You point us at a target and let us loose, our methods are our own, and are what makes us the best at what we do.
Also, please be aware that while we may contract our services out to multiple bidders, Our contracts also provide an iron-clad guarantee of your personal safety from any actions by our highly trained operatives. In layman's terms, were you to purchase our services, you are protected from another nation coming along and attempting to hire us to, for example, kill your troops while they are in training, or of course, or assassination of yourself or your family, these contracts would be immediately refused without discussion.
We do ask half of our fee up-front, and expenses, with the other half being paid upon job completion. Though we are the best Mercs money can buy, even we very occasionally meet an objective we cannot achieve, and thus, Failure though a fault of our own will result in the refunding of all fees paid, barring expenses. In the event this hypothetical failure results in your death, the money will be refunded to either your Government, Family, Or charity of your choice, whichever you deem necessary.
Upon your decision of services you wish to have provided to you, you will be provided with a quote. If the price laid out is acceptable and you decide to take up a contract with our company, then the services you have purchased will be immediately commenced, of course, barring set-up times for some services such as training. From this time, you will be invoiced, and you will have 48 hours to provide the first half of the payment, or services will be withdrawn until payment.
Thank you for your time and your consideration of our company, Anax Viga, and we await your decision.
If you have any additional requirements about how the services are to be rendered, within reason, they will be covered by the fee already quoted, however, please bear in mind that we Professionals, not psychopaths, and thus will be unable to consider requests such as "Slowly and painfully" or unnecessary desecration of the corpse, including bringing you the head of the contracted target.
Considering the likelihood of the Primary target knowing that you are planning to have him killed, and that while you are safe from our own services, you are not safe from the services provided by less proficient contractors, we would also suggest the additional protection package, For which you will be required to pay the ongoing salary of your Personal Protection Staff, with small additional costs incurred in the event of any combat or assassination attempts, in the form of a Hazard pay bonus to your Protection Staff who are involved in the operation.
If you have no additional requirements, then all assassinations will be carried out as quickly and as quietly as possible, with as little collateral damage as possible.
Also, please bear in mind that any collateral damage to structures necessary for the public good as we deem fit or deaths of non-combatants will be reimbursed or compensated for by our company, regardless of you opinion on the nation, the people being provided for or compensated, or opinion on the matter itself - this is simply because, again, we are Mercenaries, not monsters, and we seek to do no harm to those we are not paid to deal with, or do us no harm.
Lastly, This contract is Liable to change at any time, however, only with the consent of both parties, the only exception being cancellation, in which case either party may act independently, if either party deems it necessary.
If these Fees and terms are Acceptable to you, then just sign on the dotted line, so to speak, and the operation shall begin with the utmost immediacy possible.
Nice doing business with with you. The first half is being sent as we speak. The second you will get when you do the job.
Yogalog (September) 11th
I have been sent by His Royal Highness King Alastair XXXIX to meet up with Grand Moff Rym of the country where the Beacon Falls are. I didn't understand what he meant by "Beacon Falls" but I rode out with my 79 member army consisting of Dragoons, Knights, Snipers, and more. I made it to the falls around twilight and I was awestruck by how beautiful they were and understood they bore the name "Beacon". Right in the center of the gigantic falls were half a rainbow and half a moonbow appearing to combat each other and tried to overtake one another. I heard a scream from the top and I saw a man on the top. He thick, long, auburn hair that flew in the wind which made him look gorgeous. He had some kind small twin-miniature mirrors over his eyes, the purpose of which was (and still is) unclear to me.
At his side was a woman who was very small and had short blonde hair astride what appeared to be a gigantic black and white spotted rabbit whose name (she told me later) was "Boony" and her name was Emily. He raised his sword and shouted "SODIUM!!!!!" and jumped off the falls to the bottom. I ran into the water and tried to catch him, but to my surprise, giant feathery wings spouted out of his back side and he flew across and did some tricks into the air. The egotism that radiated from this man was mind-blowing. He landed near me after I waded back to my horse, and he shook my hand and said in a distinctly thick and aristocratic accent "I am Grand Moff Rym, do I have the pleasure of making the aquaintance of Lord Horatio Yupa?" I nodded and asked if we could talk in my tent to make negotiations. One thing led after another and I learned he represented the nation of Cnaiur in the service of Emperor Getterbeam (a strange name for a ruler) where all have wings. We became steadfast allies and gave me a horn that he said a wild axe-fighter with the longest of hair and longest beard crafted, whose named Petoria. He said to blow on it and wherever he was, he would come assist me in any way possible in a matter of seconds. The way he left however, was mindblowing; he took out a rose and blew it and he and his squadron disappeared in a gigantic rainbow that flew away into the sky. All I have to say is that, in my 40 years of being a man of combat and exploration, this was one of the strangest days in my life.
Higgins, fetch my cane and my colonization hat!
Protection Log: Day 1:
It appears my security is at risk, and so I have been placed in intermediate protection. I have been removed from my housing in Rome to much a more hidden, safe place. My servants are sent out of my current dwelling in order to do my business, and I have left my trusted second-in-command in charge of the court while I am away. Of course, he is still sending away for my advice. It appears trouble is brewing throughout the world, and the great wars are being started once more.
It appears a certain Greek ruler has her eyes set on defeating me. She seems to believe that I have obtained this position against my honor. Honor...What is Greece to speak of honor! In the old days, Greece was honored to join the intellect of Rome in grand conquest! Once upon a time, our people were indistinguishable in their culture, and in their knowledge. Greece, for a time, became Rome. We surpassed them long ago, and if she thinks that she can now choose to go against us, now choose to fight...Then she is sorely mistaken.
Yogalog 12th
Just a day after meeting with the eccentric, but incredibly wise Grand Moff Rym, I headed back toward King Alastair XXXIX's Royal Castle to report back. I decided to take a shortcut which would get me there quickly as I couldn't keep His Majesty waiting. Along the way, we had to pass through the city of Uwe, the city of my birth. My squadron could tell I was very excited which is rare as I'm usually very stoic about a good many things in this world. When I approached the hill which overlooked my home, I immediately dropped my blade and gun in shock. No one could even say a word and I got off my horse and kneeled down into the ground pounding into screaming inconsolably. My town is burning, but not in the way one where one accident would start a chain reaction. It was clearly arson, as there were dead bodies around the entrance that look like a blade has cut them in half. I now have a pressing urge to go see His Majesty to find out what happened and what I can do about it.
"Good evening Gentlemen, Ladies, Assorted others..
"Have you ever been on the receiving end of some diabolical contraption and wondered "What just happened?"? Chances are, you are experience the effects of the latest in the line of Omnubrand™ inventions and solutions designed with your demise in mind.
Ranging from cyborg cat-girl maid warrior assassins to inter-dimensional cheesecake launching zepplins and even The Steel Frying Pan of Doom™. If ever you need that special something for your next dastardly scheme, I'm only a whisper away.
"However.. for such services.. you must pay.. a terrible price." *Manic laughter*
*Ahem*, the paperwork:
Contract for employment of an Evil Genius:
1) Who's idea I work on is determined by it's novelty/entertainment value. Space Lazr < Gravitational mass of Scrym's ego < Mushroom cloud sized yield confetti bomb.
2) Only one invention worked on at a time, I will publicly post some cut-away and give possible clues to the invention's location when I begin work.
3) Inventions will be delivered when dramatically convenient to the plot.
4) If the "Terrible Price" of the invention is not met, it will be made available to a dramatically apropriate party.
**End Transmission**
Profile
Name, Role: "Omnutia", Insane genius and proprietor of insane creations.
Type: Indirect manipulator, Inventor, Genius, Insane.
Morals: "I have money, bad things happen to other people.".
Perk: "Impartial Evil" - Can perform a perfect escape if successfully attacked directly (At the cost of current project.) but becomes extremely vulnerable when directly intervening in an ongoing event.
Note to self: When cornered by the forces of justice, must use the line: "I wasn't expecting some kind of rational inquisition!".