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Fail of your Boo-Yah (and vica-versa)

edited October 2009 in Everything Else
In the lingo of the interwebs, some things are full of win yet lead to epic fail, and some fails lead to nothing but win. Categorization is tricky.

To get to the point quickly: why does it take 48 hours of obvious flirtation, walks along the beach, trips out alone to see awesome places, singing songs on the guitar, going out for dinner, and so much more... why does it always take inapropriately long for a girl to mention she has a boyfriend?

This is not the first time, and I guess it won't be the last.
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Comments

  • edited October 2009
    In answer to you question, it is because the boyfriend isn't there and the girl wants attention. It is disgusting, but some women would rather take advantage of someone to flatter their vanity/get free meals and gifts than live with dignity. Also, some men take acts of friendship to mean flirtation (not saying this happened in your case, but I have seen it happen).
    Post edited by Kate Monster on
  • I'm also pretty sure that some are testing the waters to see if they jump ships or not, maybe she kinda halfheartedly wants to end a relationship but got cold feet in the end.
  • Did she mention it casually, or did she specifically say something like "so you know... I have a boyfriend?"

    It makes all the difference in the world.
  • She was probably sizing you up as to whether you were cooler then her boyfriend and then she could be all drama filled and conflicted over it :-p
  • That sucks dude. I've been in that situation before. You did what you should have done as a single guy liking who you thought was single girl. You tried your best but in the end it all came crashing down. Learn something from what happened, get ready to have another go at it, and try not to hold what happened with this girl against the next one.
  • RymRym
    edited October 2009
    Answer my question (to yourself, not the forum).

    If she said it casually in the course of something else ("blah blah blah my boyfriend blah blah blah"), then she's a cool person (or an extremely savvy, manipulative one: there's little to differentiate the two from outward appearances alone, so don't bother trying and assume the former). She was hanging out with you, another cool person. If you enjoy flirting with her, just keep doing it. You're basically friends.

    If she said it with a disclaimer ("Just so you know... I have a boyfriend"), there are two main possibilities.

    1. Her boyfriend is in some way inadequate, and she likes you. She didn't admit it early on, because she was afraid it would turn you away, but then she started feeling guilty. If this is her first boyfriend, double the chances of this. She's conflicted, but definitely likes you more than she likes him.

    2. She's expressing her lack of interest after realizing suddenly that you were pursuing her as more than a friend. She likes her boyfriend more than she likes you, and is trying to nip this in the bud.

    Act as you see fit. ^_~
    Post edited by Rym on
  • You know, I think sometimes girls don't say it right away because they are scared of scaring a guy away.
    They want to hang out with you, but they worry if they said "I have a boyfriend" right off the bat, it would be like a rebuff.
    I agree totally with what Rym said.
  • They should just say that they like hanging out with you as a friend, but are in a relationship. If the guy only wanted to be your friend because he wanted to date you...Then you really shouldn't be friends with him anyways. But if the guy still wants to be your friend, then everything works out good, and you save him the emotional trouble.
  • For something light hearted, I came home today to my top gear season 10 box set. Upon watching it I discovered that they had decided to cut the news segment from the show, which was one of my favorite parts.
  • I had a dream that was amazingly revelatory, solidifying in me my drive to be a doctor, specifically a Radiologist--I may very well end up in Australia, Japan, or Spain for significant periods of time, which is excellent, as I've always been intensely interested in the first and second, and the third is my ancestral homeland. However, the dream was so vivid and real (I dreamt I was in class, in a building I was supposed to be in at that very moment), that I kept napping an extra 10 minutes and wound up late to my Japanese Culture class.
  • edited October 2009
    2. She's expressing her lack of interest after realizing suddenly that you were pursuing her as more than a friend. She likes her boyfriend more than she likes you, and is trying to nip this in the bud.
    I am guilty of this. My first week of college I made friends (or so I thought) with this guy because we played the same instrument in band and he was one of the first people to talk to me. I didn't know anybody and it takes me awhile to make friends, so I talked to him a lot and hung out with him some. Apparently me watching tv with him in his dorm room (never alone, always with other people, I might add) meant that it was a date or something. So when he tried to "snuggle" with me one day, I practically yelled out that I had a boyfriend and scooted away. Let's just say that it was very awkward, and he never talked to me again (and gave me the evil eye every time he saw me in band.)

    -Edit: I would like to add that I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend earlier because it never came up, and it never occurred to me to mention it. Since I didn't like him more than a friend, and didn't even consider him a "good" friend, I didn't think it was appropriate to randomly tell him about my love life. Does that make any sense?
    You know, I think sometimes girls don't say it right away because they are scared of scaring a guy away.
    They want to hang out with you, but they worry if they said "I have a boyfriend" right off the bat, it would be like a rebuff.
    This is so true. Back in the early days of college, I felt like every time a guy showed interest in me, and I turned him down for whatever reason, he would mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth. I think I have somewhat of a stand off-ish attitude now and nobody messes with me anymore. >_>
    Post edited by Lyddi on
  • he would mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth.
    I am guilty of this. I've only done it once, but it still bothers me that I did it in the first place.
  • Wow, you all took this way more seriously than I thought! I was on holiday, and I'm single, and getting along with being single (over two months now) so the chances are I'm going to be looking for and finding some short term romance. I'm completely fine with the situation as it turned out, as we still hung out the same as before, and the time we did spend together was just as fun as if nothing had happened. I wasn't flirting and hanging out because I wanted something to happen, because if I had known she had a boyfriend right from the start I'd have acted the same way (though maybe not putting my arm around her).
    In answer to you question, it is because the boyfriend isn't there and the girl wants attention. It is disgusting, but some women would rather take advantage of someone to flatter their vanity/get free meals and gifts than live with dignity.
    I also wanted attention and my vanity flattered. Dignity be damned.
  • I got into google wave just in time to watch my computer grind to a halt on 300+ blip waves.
  • Tomorrow is payday! It is also incidentally pay the credit card day.
  • Tomorrow is payday! It is also incidentally pay the credit card day.
    Man, do I ever know that feeling. Money come in, money go out. I need to find myself a roommate to help cut the expenses.
  • Solution to the problem: ask the girl. Attention and flattery are great, and can still commence with no expectations or hurt feelings if it's all out in the open up front! If you know what line not to cross, things are less likely to get awkward (unless you cross the line anyway.)
  • Man, do I ever know that feeling. Money come in, money go out. I need to find myself a roommate to help cut the expenses.
    I love living alone, I just wish I didn't have to live in the high end shopping district.
  • I love living alone, I just wish I didn't have to live in the high end shopping district.
    Don't get me wrong - I dig living alone. It's nice not having to worry about anyone bitching because the dishes have sat in the sink for the better part of the week or the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in a month. *grin* It just sucks hardcore to think that I could cut my living expenses in half by giving up a little bit of that freedom.

    I've got a Boo-yah/fail that's not rental-related. I had two moles removed a couple weeks ago because they were irregular and I was concerned about them. Both of them were about the size of the fingernail on my index finger. Initial tests on them came back that the margins of the excisions were free of cancerous or pre-cancerous cells but there was some irregular mitotic activity in one of the lesions so they sent it off for further testing. Doc said it was probably nothing to worry about but if it came back as problematic then they'd have to do a further excision. I was happy that things were looking good; I mean, the margins were clean so chances of it having spread were slim, right? My stitches has come out and I could go back to my regular life, right?

    I got the call today that they need to do a further excision.
  • edited October 2009
    Don't get me wrong - I dig living alone. It's nice not having to worry about anyone bitching because the dishes have sat in the sink for the better part of the week or the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in a month. *grin* It just sucks hardcore to think that I could cut my living expenses in half by giving up a little bit of that freedom.
    All right, all right. Knock it off. You choose your battles, okay? I've chilled out substantially in regards to messy roommate ways.

    Also, you could find a laid-back single roomie. Problem solved, unless they were like Churba's horrid and abominable flatmate.

    I got the call today that they need to do a further excision.
    Aww, man, that sucks. Skin Cancer is rough. Mrs. Macross had it. I hope you don't have to do chemo or anything.
    Post edited by gomidog on
  • edited October 2009
    Don't get me wrong - I'm not a total slob. I just hate having to run a sink full of water to wash one pot or pan, one plate, one set of silverware, and one glass. No dishwasher in my place either. I just rinse 'em off, run any chunks through the garbage disposal, and wait until I have enough dishes to make it worthwhile to do a whole dish drainer full. As for the carpet, it's dark colored and I don't go around dropping food on it so I'd be vacuuming up dust bunnies (at best) if I ran it every week. My problem with roommates is I'd pretty much have to find one that's laid back enough to let the same things slide as I do but understanding enough to humor my quirks (books on the shelf have to be organized, DVDs/CDs/games have to go back in their proper cases, etc.)

    As for the skin cancer, I'm trying to stay optimistic. The further excision is just to make sure the area around the original spot isn't harboring anything funny. I'm keeping hope up that the second time around comes back clean. It sucks because I just got the damn stitches out and now they're going to have to go and cut a bigger chunk out of my back where I could barely reach it to change the bandages the first time.
    Post edited by Techparadox on
  • As for the skin cancer, I'm trying to stay optimistic. The further excision is just to make sure the area around the original spot isn't harboring anything funny. I'm keeping hope up that the second time around comes back clean. It sucks because I just got the damn stitches out and now they're going to have to go and cut a bigger chunk out of my back where I could barely reach it to change the bandages the first time.
    Don't worry about. Seriously, this sort of thing is pretty routine. Doctors don't mess around with cancer and if even the slightest thing is amiss they're gonna do more testing to be extra sure.
  • Booh yah: I got home and a new set of three hats had been delivered while I was away! These should last me a few years of performing. Fail: They cost 250 dollars each, plus postage from New York, plus import tax. I should have got someone in NY to pick them up for me and had them sent over as a "gift".
  • I should have got someone in NY to pick them up for me and had them sent over as a "gift".
    I pull that trick all the damn time, but you also have to leave the value of the item off. Let's face it, why not? I don't get any direct benifits from paying tax here, and that single word is the difference between having to pay 20 Pounds VAT for two shirts and a towel from the states, which put together don't cost that much, compared to getting an iPhone, Badass longcoat, Vegemite, and a bunch of other stuff through for free.
  • *rose petals flutter around Emily* Emily-Sempai...*turns head to the side, face half shadowed* I don't know what to say. *single tear* I..I'll do it. I feel kinda stupid that such motivation could just change my mind just like that...but that's what I needed. *Raises head, two solid streams of tears flowing down. fist clenched infront of chest* I'll do it, regardless of what happens. If I lose and something bad happens because of it, at least I lived my dreams and finally made something or some things that I was proud of. If I get big, hooray for me.

    *dramatic turn to face apethetic FRC forumites* To everyone else, *Dramatic bow* I'm sorry I wasted your time with all my moping! *runs off into the distance*
    -stifling laughter- pttthph!!!! ROFLMAO!!! I'm sorry but that just made my fucking day! Thanks Sonic!!
    That was brilliant.
    It was originally Yupa's Fail, but it turned into my win. Additionally, I seem to be on a roll in terms of creative output.
  • As I posted last night in the fail thread, having to go to work to get my stupid notebook was a major fail. The reason it's even more of a fail was that I was super satisfied with finishing Uncharted 2 just an hour before I realized I didn't have it. On the plus side, swinging back into the boo-yah is that they have full internet access here during training. Didn't expect that, and it's awesome.
  • Today the sea was quite rough in the eastern Mediterranean. The ship was pitching about all over the place, and I didn't have much of an appetite. The show was canceled (I wasn't performing) and I generally hung out in my cabin.

    However, I managed to write about 2,000 words for my NaNoWriMo novel AND watch two episodes of Dexter. Man, that show is so good. I wish I'd brought all four DVDs of season one with me on this trip, not just the first two. I guess it means the experience will be spread out over more time...
  • The family friend I had trusted to come out to was the one who told my brother. Fortunately, my brother's a coward and won't tell, but I just hate being stabbed in the back.
  • That sucks. Wow. I don't understand how people in this world can be so needlessly cruel.
  • GeoGeo
    edited November 2009
    The family friend I had trusted to come out to was the one who told my brother. Fortunately, my brother's a coward and won't tell, but I just hate being stabbed in the back.
    I think you have every right to just punch that person in the face because he went back and stabbed you in the back, so in a way his stabbing will be rebuffed with a punch in the face.
    Post edited by Geo on
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