I think getting upset when someone (who is otherwise cool) doesn't understand a term or bit of jargon is a real issue. I've heard the term "cisgender" before, and I think it's good to have such a word.
However, my first reaction when checking the definition of Wikipedia was "What the fuck?" The opening line of the entry is this:
"In gender studies, cisgender and cissexual describe related types of gender identity where an individual's self-perception of their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth."
For a start, I'm not an expert in gender studies. This immediately tells me that if this comes up in conversation, it's not up to me, a non-gender-studier, to know what it means. Nor should it mean I understand the difference between gender and sex when referred to in a non-cis way either.
Second, and most importantly, the word phrase "assigned at birth" was super tricky for me to get my head around. Again, for someone not down on the terms and lingo, this conjured up all kinds of scenarios and situations that don't line up with the reality.
Thirdly, as a twin, this all confirms to me that while it's nice to have different terms, I can't expect others to know or understand them.
For example, I'm an identical twin. But everyone gets confused if I say I have an identical twin brother, but then say we don't look that similar. If I say monozygotic, nobody has a clue. Then I have to explain the difference between identical (monozygotic) and fraternal twins (which are, apparently, dizygotic), which I then normally refer to as non-identical. From the wikipedia page: "also referred to as "non-identical twins", "dissimilar twins", "biovular twins", and, in cases of females, sororal twins".
There is a word for a non-twin person. Thankfully "singleton" is self-explanitory. Even then I have to explain it quite often, simply saying "it means non-twin".
And then I talk to some people who say they were once a twin, but their twin died before or just after birth. Biologically they are a twin, but they have had none of the things that come along with growing up with a twin.
People ask "What's it like to be a twin?" and the normal response begins with "I don't know, I've never not been a twin!" Then I go on to talk about telepathy and feeling my brother's pain at a distance. Still, it feels like the kind of conversation I imagine that comes up with a gay person being asked what it's like to be gay. "I don't know, I've never not been gay!"
All this to say, I'm not trying to bring out parallels between being a twin and trans, just trying to point out that it's nobody's fault that they don't know the correct terms, nor that they feel frustrated that people are using jargon which to them feels unnecessary and opaque.
The lesson, reiterated here, is that Mike often doesn't know what he's talking about, is happy to still talk about it, and is still a decent person once his ignorance is rectified.
I think the lesson learned is that as long as you're his employee and you are completely obsequious and you do a sufficient amount of scraping he will be perfectly happy to call you whatever you like while he slips a lecture in on how you're still wrong.
Is "cis" used as an insult like that with any appreciable frequency? I mean, I see smart-ass remarks that use it, but how often does that really get said?
This whole affair highlights why I harp so much on the conflating of all of these issues - everyone is speaking a different language about the same topic, and even when we agree (like sketch pointed out), there is still room for useless headbutting. It's frustrating as hell.
We need a lexicon upon which we can all agree, and stuff like "cis male garbage" really sends a mixed message.
Is "cis" used as an insult like that with any appreciable frequency? I mean, I see smart-ass remarks that use it, but how often does that really get said?
I've seen it before. Not necessarily often, since I tend to avoid those parts of Twitter/Tumblr, but it happens. It's frustrating when the person who is "right" is doing such an awful job at communicating their feelings, because it gives the other person free reign (in their eyes) to dismiss anything else they're trying to say.
Is "cis" used as an insult like that with any appreciable frequency? I mean, I see smart-ass remarks that use it, but how often does that really get said?
I've seen it before. Not necessarily often, since I tend to avoid those parts of Twitter/Tumblr, but it happens. It's frustrating when the person who is "right" is doing such an awful job at communicating their feelings, because it gives the other person free reign (in their eyes) to dismiss anything else they're trying to say.
Like I said on my own Twitter earlier today, this is a case of Sturgeon's Law applying to Internet users: 90% of all Internet users are morons. In this case, the moron happens to have her heart in the right place, but is going about it incredibly stupidly.
There was a dude (who shall remain nameless) that I talked to at PAX who was into that kind of stuff, and extolled the virtues of it. According to him, after a month or so your immune system becomes pretty much indestructable. I remain highly skeptical.
EDIT: The owner of that sex club seems like a pretty stand-up guy. "My employees have total discretion over who can and cannot urinate on them. They might work as human toilets, but they're also human beings."
DOUBLE EDIT: That's one weird-ass website. A choice quote:
"If we want ravers to stop raping babies, then we need to teach ravers to be self-aware and capable of critical thought. You have to be a real idiot to think that raping a baby will cure you of aids. It won't."
These stories are made up...right? This is some kind of parody website?
So, someone from a reality cooking show called me up asking if I wanted to go to a casting call this weekend. Mike, Wub, what do you think? Should I show them the true power of the #FLAVORMASTERS?
So, someone from a reality cooking show called me up asking if I wanted to go to a casting call this weekend. Mike, Wub, what do you think? Should I show them the true power of the #FLAVORMASTERS?
I'm not familiar with this show, but it seems sort of like ABC's answer to MasterChef? Anyway, the answer is obviously yes. America needs to be shown the ways of the #FLAVORMASTERS.
My Reality TV Tip for you is that if you haven't seen this show, watch and study every episode of it and similar shows (like MasterChef).
So, someone from a reality cooking show called me up asking if I wanted to go to a casting call this weekend. Mike, Wub, what do you think? Should I show them the true power of the #FLAVORMASTERS?
I would highly recommend reading Ben Starr's Blog (Masterchef Season 2 Contestant) who talks about every gruesome detail he had to go through being a part of that show. You have to make a lot of sacrifices and most aspects of your life is controlled by the studio for months. Maybe ABC will treat their contestants better than FOX, but I feel like taking this opportunity is only viable if you have the resources to take a break from real life AND you aren't too grounded by responsibilities.
Comments
Japanese anti-pervert stockings.
However, my first reaction when checking the definition of Wikipedia was "What the fuck?" The opening line of the entry is this:
"In gender studies, cisgender and cissexual describe related types of gender identity where an individual's self-perception of their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth."
For a start, I'm not an expert in gender studies. This immediately tells me that if this comes up in conversation, it's not up to me, a non-gender-studier, to know what it means. Nor should it mean I understand the difference between gender and sex when referred to in a non-cis way either.
Second, and most importantly, the word phrase "assigned at birth" was super tricky for me to get my head around. Again, for someone not down on the terms and lingo, this conjured up all kinds of scenarios and situations that don't line up with the reality.
Thirdly, as a twin, this all confirms to me that while it's nice to have different terms, I can't expect others to know or understand them.
For example, I'm an identical twin. But everyone gets confused if I say I have an identical twin brother, but then say we don't look that similar. If I say monozygotic, nobody has a clue. Then I have to explain the difference between identical (monozygotic) and fraternal twins (which are, apparently, dizygotic), which I then normally refer to as non-identical. From the wikipedia page: "also referred to as "non-identical twins", "dissimilar twins", "biovular twins", and, in cases of females, sororal twins".
There is a word for a non-twin person. Thankfully "singleton" is self-explanitory. Even then I have to explain it quite often, simply saying "it means non-twin".
And then I talk to some people who say they were once a twin, but their twin died before or just after birth. Biologically they are a twin, but they have had none of the things that come along with growing up with a twin.
People ask "What's it like to be a twin?" and the normal response begins with "I don't know, I've never not been a twin!" Then I go on to talk about telepathy and feeling my brother's pain at a distance. Still, it feels like the kind of conversation I imagine that comes up with a gay person being asked what it's like to be gay. "I don't know, I've never not been gay!"
All this to say, I'm not trying to bring out parallels between being a twin and trans, just trying to point out that it's nobody's fault that they don't know the correct terms, nor that they feel frustrated that people are using jargon which to them feels unnecessary and opaque.
This whole affair highlights why I harp so much on the conflating of all of these issues - everyone is speaking a different language about the same topic, and even when we agree (like sketch pointed out), there is still room for useless headbutting. It's frustrating as hell.
We need a lexicon upon which we can all agree, and stuff like "cis male garbage" really sends a mixed message.
I've seen it before. Not necessarily often, since I tend to avoid those parts of Twitter/Tumblr, but it happens. It's frustrating when the person who is "right" is doing such an awful job at communicating their feelings, because it gives the other person free reign (in their eyes) to dismiss anything else they're trying to say.
I know that there are people that are into that, but it's still like... What?!
EDIT: The owner of that sex club seems like a pretty stand-up guy. "My employees have total discretion over who can and cannot urinate on them. They might work as human toilets, but they're also human beings."
DOUBLE EDIT: That's one weird-ass website. A choice quote:
"If we want ravers to stop raping babies, then we need to teach ravers to be self-aware and capable of critical thought. You have to be a real idiot to think that raping a baby will cure you of aids. It won't."
These stories are made up...right? This is some kind of parody website?
Brazil referee decapitated after stabbing player
My Reality TV Tip for you is that if you haven't seen this show, watch and study every episode of it and similar shows (like MasterChef).
http://benstarr.com/blog/what-its-like-to-be-on-reality-tv/